The North Texas Daily (Denton, Tex.), Vol. 70, No. 32, Ed. 1 Friday, October 24, 1986 Page: 4 of 8
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Page 4—The North Texas Daily
Friday, October 24, 1986
'After I graduate' idiom stymies student
By Dujuana Turner
Guest Columnist
Graduation: It is amazing that ^hen one is in high
school, this word is one of the most significant words in
9 senior's vocabulary.
For a short while, everything is put on a scale, agenda
and hold waiting until "after I graduate."
Your parents think about buying you that car, but
only "after I graduate." You plan to go straight to
work in your father's company,- but only "after 1
graduate."
It is these little things that keep you going and striving
in high school', but what happens to this determination
and incentive in college?
YES, SOME OF us hang on to them, but many of.
us, like myself, just begin to roll with the punches in a
fight that looks like it will never come to an end.
Many days I call my parents time after time crying
and depressed to a point where I have to continually ask
when will this college nightmare be over? Their answer?
Like always, "after you graduate."
That's my point. When will that be?
"Wait until you get out in the real world; I think
we've spoiled you," are my daddy's favorite phrases.
On that note I tell him, "What do you think college
is — an extended play period? I am in the real world."
1 have to deal with some people who forget 1 paid
$275 for rent, and who send me letters of eviction. I
have to deal with people who send notes to my instructors
saying I haven't held up to my obligation of paying
tuition by such-and-such-a-date when I've already paid
it in full.
SO YOU SEE, this is the real world, all right. I go
to the Financial Aid Office to check and see if all my
paper work is in. They ask for my Social Security number,
but the computer comes up blank. Oh yeah, Daddy, I'm
in the real world.
So why, just why, do I have to put myself through all
of this torture? Because my parents tell me I can't do
this or that until — you guessed it — "after I graduate."
Day by day, this word "graduate" is coming to
mean very little to me. Though I want to graduate, my
question is, "Will it all be worth it in the end?" *
I see a blur at the end of the tunnel. It must be the
light because at this point, I don't think it could be
anything else. Or could it?
Well, if I have to put up with any more unwarranted
mishaps in my college years, I will die. Yeah, I know
that sounds a little drastic, but so is living. I guess it
happens to the best of us. I mean depression, frustration,
humiliation, confusion — just to name a few of the
emotions I have to deal with.
IT IS VERY easy to write about discontent when
you're angry and fed up with everyone and everything.
Usually I look to find comfort in phrases like, "You'll
feel better tomorrow," "Just get your mind off it"
and "God bless you."
But lately, no one has been able to find me at home.
That's because with six classes and a couple of labora-
tories, I continue to strive for the mark of "after 1
graduate."
My parents might have raised a crazy child to put
myself through all of this, but I guess they know they
did not raise a quitter. Not yet anyway.
I'll let myself look on the bright side — that is, if I
can find it. If I can't, then I'll have to wait until tomorrow
to see how much better things will be.
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Sometimes intimate love produces a solution that people label murder
By Julie Bowman
Guest Columnist
He wasn't particularly good-looking,
or well-built, or even well-dressed, but
he made her laugh and she liked the
way his face lit up when he saw her.
She knew that she could.love this man.
As in all good romances, he wined
and dined her, and she dazzled him with
her dry wit and coy flirtatiousness. They
fell in love, because all good romances
are full of romance.
She was a good Baptist girl, so when
he wanted to make love, she blatantly
refused. Yes, she loved him. Yes, she
wanted to show him how much. But
the answer was still no; it just wasn't
right. He was a patient one though, so
he waited.
They had been together for eight
months when she finally said yes. "I
love him," she thought, "and if it is
a spontaneous, loving, giving act, then
it can't be wrong, not even in the eyes
of God."
THEY MADE LOVE one very
special night, and it was caring, loving
and terribly romantic. She woke up
beside this man she loved and knew
that • everything would be all right as
long as they'were together.
< They embraced this new, forbidden,
passionate life with the fervor that comes
vith love, and their desire for each other
was unquenchable. They left the warn-
ings thfty'd heard unheeded, and their
desire overcame their sensibilities.
One morning she vomited in the
shower before class. Her menstrual cycle
was late, and she was losing weight
from the fear and anguish that was
constantly gnawing at her inside. She
couldn't concentrate anymore, her grades
plunged and she knew that something
must be done.
She didn't even think of having the
child'. It would be too much humilia-
tion. Everyone would know that she was
stupid enough to get knocked up, she
thought. "My parents would hate what
I've done, thinking that I'd given up
my last ounce of morality. I have college
to go to, my whole life to live, no way
to support it, no home to give it and
no love at all. A child shouldn't grow
up being resented."
She couldn't give it up for adoption
because she couldn't face the endless
months of pregnancy, the constant re-
minder of her sin.
Abortion. Oh, that hateful word. She
cried for days until she got up the
strength to call the clinic. He would
pay for it if she were sure that that was
what she wanted to do. He offered to
marry her, but she said no, at least not
now.
THEY WENT TOGETHER, riding
in silence the whole way, a kind of
somber homage to a child not destined
to be. People were picketing the clinic
that day, shouting obscenities and hurtful
words, making her only hate them more
for condemning her for doing the only
thing possible.
She hid her face; the picketeres tried
to film her entrance, increasing her
humiliation. She was seized with the
fear that someone she knew would see
her, recognize her and tell others. "If
this is a scare tactic," she thought,
"it's working." This^was her painful
secret, not anyone else's.
They waited what seemed to be a
lifetime, him in the outside waiting
room, her in endless orientations, ex-
planations, counselings. "Let's get this
wretched thing over with!" her mind
screamed. She entered the room in her
backless dressing gown, ashamed,
frightened and the doctor's "wheel
another one in" attitude didn't help.
She lay on the table and noticed on
the ceiling a Snoopy cartoon saying,
"Keep your chin up!" How mis-
placed, she thought, a child's cartoon,
definitely in the wrong place,
They gave her a shot, but she wasn't
put to sleep. Anesthetic cost $100 more.
She lay her head back and just let it
happen and she quickly brushed away
the tears rolling down the sides of her
face. She prayed it would be swift.
WHEN SHE LEFT, the picketers
were gone. She walked gingerly to the
car, thinking of the old men who told
her it was murder and the women who
said she was going against God's will.
As he drove her home, she looked
at him, so obviously in pain and con-
cerned for her, and she again thought
of the ravings of the picketers. "How
can they judge me when they haven't
been in my place?" she asked quietly.
He shrugged, took another puff of his
cigarette and turned his head so she
wouldn't see the tear slipping from the
corner of his eye.
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Vahlenkamp, John. The North Texas Daily (Denton, Tex.), Vol. 70, No. 32, Ed. 1 Friday, October 24, 1986, newspaper, October 24, 1986; Denton, TX. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth332815/m1/4/?q=Lamar+University: accessed June 7, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting UNT Libraries Special Collections.