The College Star (San Marcos, Tex.), Vol. 26, No. 28, Ed. 1 Wednesday, April 4, 1934 Page: 3 of 4
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Wednesday, April 4, 1934
THE COLLEGE STAR
LOOKY YONDER
Ain’t You Heard—
THAT Teddy and Viola are back
togther again? This is a familiar
sight that we have been missing
lately but we are glad to see that
some adjustment has been made.
THAT Marvin Lamar’s answer
to one of Oskie’s final questions
was “I don’t know but I’ll find
out.”
THAT Josephine Burns is work-
ing her way up the social scale?
Yeah. She started at the bottom
with Butter (What-a-car) Ivey.
THAT Allan “Primo” McIntyre
lost a one-round bout to a man
from Cameron the last fight-night.
(Herman Waldman’s last dance at
the Cotton Club) ?
THAT a certain co-ed was es-
corted to the last college dance by
her dad? Who was she Crozier?
THAT Ruth quit Paul the other
day just for fun? Yeah, just for
the fun he had been having with
other women.
THAT Louie Germer’s nomina-
tion for “meanest man” was J.
Albert Houston, who informed
“Lug” that he had a term notebook
due before he could take the final
exam. After sitting up the great-
er part of the night writing the
notebook, “Lug” handed it in and
the prof told him that he wasn’t
even suposped to have one. Albert,
can’t you let poor “Little Lug”
alone ?
THAT a smart freshman inform-
ed Mr. Vernon that a rhombus was
some sort of a Cuban dance?
THAT John did get his ties
pressed (but not cleaned?) Well,
well, did your harem get you to
do it?
THAT Ruth Guttery hasn’t been
campused for three whole weeks.
THAT Hamilton Cain left
school this term? So that is why
Paula Barnes has had sad eyes
and sleepless nights.
THAT Starkey left school this
term and Allen already has a date
for the next dance. Does that hurt
someone’s feelings!
THAT Mary Ruth spent a quiet
evening at home on the night of
March 25.
THAT Mussolini offers a prem-
ium of about $5000 to the mothers
having the largest families and
Dr. Arnold says he doesn’t doubt
that the United States will event-
ually pay a premium for every
normal baby. Sam Norris pipes
up with, “Dr. Arnold, how much
do you think the government will
pay?” “Now, Sam!”
bridge “shark” after one lesson.
All instruction strictly confiden-
tial. Phone 610 for details or just
drop in with a friend (and a little
money), adv.
Wanted: a real artistic appre-
ciation. Loyce Traylor.
Wanted: An editor who will give
me more publicity. Norman Kyle
Kretzmeier.
Notice to creditors: I, Louis
Kaufman, am no longer respons.
ible for debts contracted by va-
rious and sundry women purport-
ing to be my wives. I shall in no
way reimburse merchants for such
purchases. Louis Kaufman, Penn
Hotel.
If the party occupying my car
last night will return the cushion
there will be a $5 reward, abso-
lutely no questions asked. Stinky
McQuinn.
Wanted: Some way to cut down
my cigarette bill, other than stay-
ing away from the Ward House,
Alfred Kerby.
Society News Briefs
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXtXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXtitl
The Idioptioc gals gang met at
the home of Martha Kyle last
Thursday evening for a delightful
evening of rat chasing. After an
hour of strenuous snatching and
pulling the awarding of the high
prize was given. Miss Annie Lau-
rie Pierce received high scoring
honors by corralling ten rats, two
mice and a sack full of cock-
roaches. The prize was a beautiful
cake of Lifebuoy soap. Light re-
freshments were served which con-
sisted of dog biscuits and sauer-
kraut juice. A lovely time was
had by all.
Sally says that her boy friend
can bend his thumb clear back to
his wrist and he’s not a contor-
tionist but he is a hitch-hiker in-
cidentally.
Howard Bennett asked Helen
White if she had gone out with
worse looking guys than him. Helen
pretended she didn’t hear so How-
ard asked her again. She replied
that she heard him the first time
but was just trying to think.
Mrs. Lightsey made the state-
ment that Rogers language was
terrible. When asked why, she
said, “Here’s an item from Roger
which says ‘hotch $25.00’.”
In reply to Lucille Galloway’s
inquiry about her lost ring Leila
Frances Coons said that that was-
n’t anything; she left a ring in
the bathtub every Saturday night.
When Shorty Patton boarded a
bus the other night he inquired if
the ark was full. The. bus man re-
plied, “There’s room for one more
jackass, so come on in.”
Wilson told Eleanor that he
would go through hell for her. She
replied, “That’s Lemmons at the
door, you’ll have to.”
Keith at the wheel: “My, what
a clutch.”
Muffled voice from the rear (Cur-
tis): “Say, you watch the road,
this is none of your business.”
Classified Ads
For sale: 1001 best jokes. E.
Poo Jones. (Hear ye Mr. Wood-
son.)
Wanted: Someone to furnish my
cigarettes. L. C. Ramsey.
Wanted: Two good junior college
backfield men. Must be dumb and
weigh at least 205 pounds each.
Oskie Strahan.
Be a success! The life of the
party! Do you shudder when
bridge is mentioned? Don’t! Be a
Ruth: “Handsome men are al-
ways conceited.”
Flash: “Not always, I’m not.”
Voice on phone: “Clyde Gott
won’t be able to be at practice
teaching today.”
Mr. Wiley: “Who is this?”
Voice: “This is my roommate.”
Rip Herder asked George Schoen-
berg for a dime. George replied,
O. K., Rip and I hope you enjoy
the sermon this fine Easter morn-
ing.”
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confidential reports by air mail within 36 hours.
Miss Eva Pitts had as her guest
over the week-end Mr. E. Pooh
Jones. Miss Pitts took Mr. Jones
to many places of interest in and
around the beautiful Wimberley
mountains. At the present Mr.
Jones is majoring in Quad Antics
at the Southwest Texas State
Teachers College.
ucating demonstration of sky
hooks. At the close of the pro-
gram, which was a St. Patricks
Day presentation refreshments
consisting of chili and strawberry
preserves was served to the fol-
lowing: Faye (Clark) Jett and
Ollie Erp. Ollie reports a scrump-
tious good time. The next regu-
lar meeting will not be held un-
less they are invited to Bonnie
Bell Bryant’s house.
The Hairless Blair Literary So-
ciety did not meet last Wednesday
night because the moon wasn’t
shining. Mr. Eugene McQuinn
stated that a meeting will be held
next Wednesday night behind the
smokestack to try Dean Hopf just
for fun. It is urgently requested
that all members be present.
Chaperones will be provided to
carry each member home after the
meeting.
The Zilchasonians elected Ollie
Erp and Oscar Glutz as new mem-
bers in their regular meeting in
the alley last night. All of the —------ —..... ------ -—----
alley-rats were there to take part • and only the best. When my folks
OPEN FORUM
Dear Editor:
Why, oh why, Mr. Editor do
they let such trash as that Fresh-
man issue of the Star be seen on
the hill. I’m an old-timer in this
college and never have I seen so
many green and orange sheets lay-
ing loose on the quad. Just think
of these poor mugs that have to
pick up all of that trash. It won’t
surprise me if they won’t have to
have a special clean-up week to
rid the town of this colored men-
ace.
Its all right to let those childish
slimes take a hand at a thing but
to completely turn it over to them
is more than I can see. That
Ideal Star was as cute as it could
be, nevertheless all that other
scribbling was a masterpiece for
a seventh grade student. I’m a
senior on this hill and I demand
that this school produce the best
in the festivities.
Mr. Hondy Horton was the guest
of honor at the palatial country
home of Miss Sidney Edmonston
last Friday evening. Mr. Horton
was jubilant to this reporter in
his praise of the hospitality of
Miss Edmiston. Among the inter-
esting features of the entertain-
ment was a cray fish stew back
of the hog pen, and an Easter egg
hunt in the barnyard.
A meeting of unusual interest
of the past week was that of the
Hallie Hevans wash women’s club,
which was held in the tool house
back of the office of the street
swepers which is two paces north
and two south of the county jail.
The program was in charge of
Miss Audelle Russel assisted by
Miss Cecile Johnson. These charm-
ing young co-eds introduced a new
game called winkum which threw
the members in a trance. Miss
Hazel Burns demonstrated new
uses of the left handed monkey-
wrench not to mention a most ed-
Lamar “Hoss” Oltman spent a
most delightful five hours in Miss
Bessie Pearl Andrus’ parlor last
Saturday night. At the stroke of
three Miss Andrus served a de-
lightful cup of knockout drops to
her guest. The delightful occa-
sion broke up shortly thereafter.
Miss Andrus reports a most en-
joyable evening.
The annual business and social
meeting of the Snakesbleer Iten-
erary club met in the janitor’s
wash room last Friday evening at
two o’clock. After electing the
customary officers of the club, Mell
Greene was elected club sweet-
hear and Bob Porter was named
club mascot. The remainder of the
meeting was spent in playing loop-
the-loop and Ifa down. Reports say
that the meeting was a wow. The
next meeting of the club will be
held next year in the same place.
received the Fish Star they wrote
back and asked me what kind of a
kindergarten were they running
here in San Marcos. Would you
please recommend to the faculty
or somebody to abolish these out-
bursts of the slimes immediately.
I’m planning a movement im-
mediately to exterminate all fish
who have any symptoms of being
journalistically minded. Won’t you
please sign up and say that you
will do your part. Let’s make it
the battle cry of the campus, huh ?
What do you think? How about
running a headline to that effect
next week?
An Upperclassman
Don’t Forget
HARRISON’S the One-Price Store
When you want
Ready-to-Wear Garments
Dear Editor:
One of my girls has her heart set
on being a school teacher, but I
am trying my best to talk her out
of it.
Teaching school is too much like
being a preacher’s wife. It is a
high calling but people expect you
to give more than they pay for.
You take the teachers here at
Red Gulch for example. The only
difference between them and
Christian martyrs is the date and
the bonfire.
They were hired to teach and
they do it. They teach the young
ones that can learn and entertain
the ones that fell on their heads
when they were little. But that
isn’t enough. They are supposed
to make obedient little angels out
of spoiled brats that never minded
anyone; wet nurse little wildcats
so their mothers can get some
rest, and make genuises out of
children that couldn’t have any
sense with the parents they have.
But this isn’t the worst. They
have to get up plays and things
to work the school out of debt;
and sing in the choir not to men-
tion teaching a Sunday school
class, and when they aren’t doing
anything else they are suposed to
set a good example.
Then they don’t get any pay for
six months and can’t pay their
board or buy decent clothes, and
on top of everything else, they
can’t hold hands coming home from
prayer meeting without some
pious sister with a dirty mind
starting a scandal on them. Tsk!
tsk!
I’d just as soon be a plow-mule.
A mule works just as hard, but it
can relieve its soul by kicking up
its heels after quitting time with-
out starting any talk.
Any help from you as to how to
meet this problem will be most
certainly appreciated.
A Daddy
-o-o-
NOTICE, BARRIS BLAIRS
Harris-Blair Literary Society will
meet tonight, Wednesday, April 4,
at 7:30 p. m. in the “Y” room in
regular session. Warning, be sure
and be there and don’t be a victim
of a new amendment to the con-
stitution.
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The College Star (San Marcos, Tex.), Vol. 26, No. 28, Ed. 1 Wednesday, April 4, 1934, newspaper, April 4, 1934; San Marcos, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth805011/m1/3/?q=Lamar+University: accessed June 3, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Texas State University.