Blaze: the intimate vision of feminism - Volume 2, Number 4, June 1986 Page: 9
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have given way to bow ties or ties fashioned for a man. It I ever
use cosmetics, it is not visible because I only use it for moisturiz-
ing (no eye make-up, lipstick, blush). The approval of either men
or women concerning the way I look is meaningless to me. I see
that other women around me also have begun imitating men in
their dress. Now I have a desire to change my style and am hav-
ing a hard time. Last month I took my 18-year-old daughter shop-
ping with me and bought a lavender and pink paisley skirt and a
bright purple sweater. I find I'm too embarrassed to wear it. I want
to wear it, but I just don't feel right when I put it on; so it sits in my
closet. Have I sacrificed my femininity for equality? Are women
sacrificing more than they are really gaining?
I have certainly gotten rid of my seductive exterior, and still I'm
not satisfied. It would be wonderful to relinquish the seductive,
snare-like external image if I could improve the image of feminini-
ty within myself. When I asked those closest to me to tell me how
they would describe me I didn't like the answers. My boss thinks
I'm aggressive, my husband thinks I'm smart, my daughter thinks
I'm knowledgeable, and my son thinks I'm a nag. You know what
that makes me?-an aggressive, smart, knowledgeable nag!
Another aspect that bothers me is that there is little or no affec-
tion shown in my family. I wonder if that is because of their image
of me. It also bothers me that we may not be very good role
models for my children. I understand that because my husband is
their step-father, they would not show him affection. But they
have no affection for anyone-especially their mother. My
daughter won't date boys because they always expect her to
show some fondness or affection and she is afraid to do that
because she might end up like her mother-divorced with two
children.
Children today are victims of society not results of choices their
parents make. They don't date like we did; rather, they hang out
in groups. If a girl wants a date for the prom she has to ask the
boy. My daughter (18) has told me that she hopes to get married
some day but she certainly doesn't want children, and her high
school friends (seniors) feel the same way. The boys feel like they
don't want to have wives or families because they'll have to share
their time and money. Are we creating a completely selfish, self-
destructing society with our search for equality? Are we improv-
ing or merely changing a culture?
Ellen Smith
I was particularly affected by Sheryl's lectures on Medusa, on
Medusa as muse, and on the creative woman as monster. I think
now I might always have had inklings of that understanding sub-
consciously (i.e. creative woman as monster) and when I really
faced the issue (at Sheryl's instigation) I felt inspired to write a
poem about it [poem appears in poetry section]. This is a very in-
sidious attitude in our society; now I feel able to recognize it more
easily. For instance, there's a certain instructor at this school who
will always prefer the creative endeavor of the males in his class
over those of the females. Most of his classes usually end up
recognizing this fact. A female of obvious achievement is less
recognized than a male with less. This is done with a great deal of
shrewdness, but both sexes soon figure it out (and even discuss
it). Before I shrugged it off-just one of those things-thought
well, maybe, he isn't aware. But I've decided I no longer will ig-
nore it and have decided to face the issue, not to acquiesce withmy silence any longer. It may take another year or two, but I
tend to confront it.
Charlcie Hopkins
Throughout the course of this semester .
wedding. It's going to be a big, traditional, Catholic we
ding-with everything from the long white dress to the obligate
mention of the woman as "helpmate" in the Old Testament
reading. During the first six or seven class meetings, I started to
have really negative feelings toward the whole thing, like it just
wasn't right for some reason. I started to question whether or not
it was something a mature, intelligent woman should want. I
wondered whether it really was something that society had s.
taught me to want.
After some deeper thought I realized that it is what I want.
make that decision because I am a mature, intelligent woman. I
realized that wanting it doesn't make me silly, empty-headed, or
anti-feminist. Don't get me wrong, neither the two of you nor
anything you said made me feel that it would-it was only my own
faulty interpretations that led me to this. I know now, thanks in
large part to this class, that I can have this kind of a wedding, ifI
want it, without it painting a picture of me as some sort of fairy tale
princess. I also understand now that the mention of the word
"helpmate" is tradition, and it, in and of itself, doesn't mean that
I'm going to be any less a partner in my marriage.
This course has changed my way of thinking anc T
look at the world, not just the world, but -o /
Lauren Sch er
I am beginning to see women chan'ie e-:
ing each other, as opposed to clambering over each other in
competition for seemingly finite resources. I see an expansion
taking place in which it is perceived that bonding with each other
amplifies our opportunities rather than limiting them.
This growing community of exchange and support reminds me
of the goddess religions. Although there were certainly adver-
saries among the goddesses, I get the feeling their combined
magic when individual power did not suffice was the bedrock of
goddess religions. They took care of their children, their gods
and mortals, but they also took care of each other. In addition
mortal women aligned themselves intimately with goddesses in
prayer (such as Enheduanna and Inanna, Sappho and
Aphrodite). Goddesses and women banded together in groups
(such as the Furies/Erinnyes, the Seasons, the Fates, the Graces,
the Muses, the Hesperides, the Gorgons, the Graeae, the
Neireids). They also helped one another in pairs (Isis and Nep-
thys, Neith and Selket, Inanna and Ninshubar). Not all of the
above combinations were benevolent, but even when not so,
their whole was greather than the sum of their parts.
I feel that women are re-discovering their potency when sup-
porting each other, as in the times of the goddess religions. It
seems to me that this is pointing out more sharply men's condi-
tioning to be out for themselves and one-upping each other. This
crystallizes in my mind when I envision a future of enough women
being in political power to effect a worldwide nuclear freeze (as
opposed to the ever-escalating nuclear arms race we have, I
believe, as the result of a patriarchally-dominated world).
Terry BarnettBLAZED JUNE, 1986 [ 9
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Berman, Linda; Komechak, Kim; Johnson, Paula; Gibson, Sue; St. Germain, Sheryl; Gilmore, Sheri et al. Blaze: the intimate vision of feminism - Volume 2, Number 4, June 1986, pamphlet, June 1986; Dallas, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metadc1484080/m1/11/: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting UNT Libraries Special Collections.