Half the Sky newsletter - Volume III, Number 2, February 1985 Page: 4 of 20
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BOOKS -"BOOKS- BOOKS e-BOOKS- BOOKS -"BOOKS
Cutting Loose, an Adult Guide to Corn-
ing to Terms With Your Parents by Howard
M. Halpern, PhD, is the most effective book
I've read on the subject of cutting the apron
strings that still tie us to parents long after
we've reached adulthood ourselves. It even
provides guidance for cutting loose from par-
ents who have died or who no longer com-
municate with us.
Although Halpern never refers to trans-
actional analysis, the "dances" he describes
of parent-child participation are much the
same as "games" or "tapes" that must be bro-
ken. He accurately describes the role of the
inner child in continuing the songs and dances.
Whether our parents were loving or un-
loving, present or never around, married or
divorced, young or old, our involvement with
them and interpretation of their relationship
to us has greatly affected how we relate to
both them and to others as an adult.
Halpern describes the Martyred Mother,
the Despotic Father, and a multitude of other
roles parents may have played. Many of the
songs and dances he talks about helped me
become more aware of the difficulties I faced
with my own parents, and, more importantly,
gave me insight into how to go about breaking
out of the destructive patterns and establishing
new ones that are more adult and rewarding.
Although his goal is to help us form more
workable relationships with our parents, he
admits that such is not always possible and
outlines ways to cope with the termination
of destructive relationships that are irrep-
arable.
The $3.50 you spend for this book is a
good investment, and the book, of course, can
be ordered from Half the Sky.
Judy
Offhand, I can think of 2 times in the
past year that, had I had Robin Morgan's new
anthology Sisterhood is Global on my shelf,
I would've taken it down and read it with a
vengeance.
The first was back in July after I'd re-
turned from my 20-year high school reunion
in Jackson, Mississippi, and had found myself
to be the only living feminist out of a class
of 3-400 and consequently was wondering if
I'd thought the whole thing up. The second
was on the day after the election in. November
when I'd had an identity crisis in front of my
101 class at Brookhaven after realizing that
all 30 of my students had voted for Reagan.
Now that I've found this book, I don'tintend letting it out of my sight. I need it
for those times I feel a time warp or think
I'm only imagining.
If this book can be taken as evidence,
feminism has not only happened, it is indeed
global. There are 68 entries, from Afghani-
stan to Zimbabwe; each country represented
speaks an essay by a leading feminist on what
it's like to be a woman in that country in
1984.
This is not just dull stuff, either. The
dull stuff (yes, necessary) precedes each essay:
facts about each country, its government, its
laws, its stands on issues directly concerning
women in both theory and practice, its
mythology. Knowing that the factual informa-
tion has already been given, each woman feels
free to go on from there (we know the back-
ground, she's assured, so now she can proceed
with the story). A few of the women are
exiles (Mamanova from Russia, due to speak
here on the 20th is a contributor), and a few
of 'the women couldn't use their own names
for obvious reasons: they were afraid of being
killed.
Each entry is not necessarily an essay:
some entries are fantasies, some are funny,
one is a collage of letters 3 women wrote
to each other (most are essays, however).
One voice I won't forget is that of Fatima
Mernissi of Morocco. She eloquently takes
us Westerners to task for thinking we have
the hotline to the goddess. How dare we
condescend to Arab women, she says, how dare
we think we're so smart that we can tell them
what to recognize and do. I was still stinging
from this indictment when she unexpectedly
told of her own comeuppance when she finally
listened to the folk tales her "illiterate" Aunt
Azizza had been telling her for years.
If you're a woman who has to believe
that feminism points to a better way, who
feels like she can't live without this hope,
this book will shore you up when you need
to be shored.
"We are sailing on a flat earth," I read
recently - written by a woman who was trying
to break new ground in opening up the Martial
Arts to women. And if you're sailing a flat
earth, it helps to know that you are not alone
in doing so.
Sisterhood is Global. Ed. Robin Mor-
gan. Anchor Books. $12.95.
LBd.a
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Half the Sky. Half the Sky newsletter - Volume III, Number 2, February 1985, pamphlet, February 1985; Dallas, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metadc1484109/m1/4/: accessed July 11, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting UNT Libraries Special Collections.