Yellow Jacket (Brownwood, Tex.), Vol. 21, No. 22, Ed. 1, Monday, April 1, 1935 Page: 1 of 4
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vy -I T-"
APRIL FOOL EDITION
YELLO
MKEI
IXfc No. 22.
2-
BROWNWOOD TEXAS FOR WEEDING ENDING APRIL 1 1935.
PRICK
ftr
culty Is Suspended
IEANEY WILL GO TO HARDIN - SIMMONS
Hon. Frank Bridges
To Have Charge
of Local Team
and Boyd
feive Picture
(fting Contracts
9$liy Opposite in the
Proken Laig"
r.ittrlanne Busby for the past
ISJWtcampus heart-breaker de-
jfcccepted a position with the
iMHes Inc. Miss Busby is to
M)ad in a forthcoming pro-
I the picture company entit-
i(Whatta Man Compjlex" or
tUSma Laig" with a big cast.
itifffae male lead opposite Miss
Roland "New Munitions"
fttttfthe envy of local Romeos
MS- to be the biggest sensation
aJMlt Gable. In the picture Mr.
fcs"ls made up as much like
jliValentino as possible (of
I'lgf can't expect plastic sur-
ImM make-up) ardently woes
twfey who is cast in natural
f If; Queen Tut.
iMp voyage party given in her
UMm Busby blubbered "I shore
ilgt'-Waddy Davenport and the
th Brownwood men but I cer-
"irould appreciate it if you all
Write to Wallace Beery Micky
ijHT'some of the other boys and
"ood word for me."
Um Santa Fe pulled out of sight
ai(t Busby were seen clinching
i iservation platform.
D. B. C. and H. P. C.
Wiped Out In
Track Duel
Fixtures Theft
Laid to Annex
Girls' Doors
f us Course
i Love Making
"IWAff 1 ! 1
unereu bins
i
w
kOMU
r any years of first hand ex-
iciSand serious contemplation
'MeChristy has finally agreed
titUuscended to offer to the anx-
rt4iting public the secrets and
pifntn in the art of loving. She
affectively assisted by Marzelle
;-$Tbls course is compulsary to
Mmgirls which accounts for the
6m technique and efficiency In
iff' Weir men.
prAuig to Mme. MeChristy the
in the accomplishment of
lywousing in tne nearior uie
.desire or association inis is
ed first by the wearing of
s 'Seemore dresses
Wttli the Bulova movement made
Ly Mae West the girl must
pjfkd inslnuatelngly say "Why
M' come up to see me some-
y any ume. ii s me umu
e right at. me top ot lire
ere's the key." This ere-
peal of suspence to the vie-
oh boy is be suspended af-
jcaugbt there. Ed. Note.)
e beginning or inis course
lights have been dispensea
e Dorm. Candles are now
t use. After the affair has
this far it is every man
and Mrs. Span take the
icate detaiU after getting
le in this condition write
iristy's School of Jucier
care of H. P. C. Hail
As a culminatibn of the age long
rivalry between D. B. C. and Howard
Payne a pitched battle was fought at
the Austin Avenue Subway last Sun-
day evening.
The immediate cause for the con-
flict was the stealing of Mrs. Span's
rubber-tired buggy that she lends to
H. P. C. students for long drives in the
country by Blllygpat students whose
complextions have long been green
with envy. It seems that Yellow Jac-
ket scholars have been driving by the
campus on the hill and shouting jovi-
ally at the inmates "You blankety-
blank so and so's. Don't you wish you
had a buggy." (or words to that ef
fect.)
The explosion came during quiet
hour Sunday night when one of the
guards at the dorm during her round
of inspection found several D. B. C.
student's breaking in the old coach
house and attempting to tug the bug-
gy out and spirit it away.
She screamed and several boys from
the barn who were up on the roof of
the Annex inspecting the radio areal
came swarming down. As there were
5643 Billygoats attempting the theft
Howard Payne was repulsed for the
moment and the buggy was dragged
away.
Quickly the alarm was sounded and
Jackets rallied to the cause. Doc Da
vis came sweeping around the corner
clad in his unmentionables and organ-
ized the Preachers Military Club very
quickly. They trailed the Goats and
caught them at the Austin Ave. Sub-
way and the gory battle was on.
Jessie Perry Roach wielding a beer
bottle waded into the thick of the
fight and personally accounted for
342 of the enemy before he was foul-
ed and carried away. Louis Town-
send then carried on the battle and
fought viciously for the honor of our
fair college.
For a time it looked as though
Howard Payne were going down when
the Goats secured reinforcements from
their girls dormitory but with the
sweeping into action of Welta Rich-
mond and her gang of toughs the
tide was turned and Daniel Baker be-
gan to retreat. Armed with bricks
they had otrn bodily from the Science
building they took their stand on the
tracks on top of the subway. With
superb aim and the most astounding
lack of fear they drove back three
different charges of the Billies and
then at the nsvcholoerical moment a
magnificent' charge le dby Rowena
Ross and Mary Lou Dunn drove the
Goats back on their own side of the
track. The buggy was recovered but
the Baa-baa boys and girls still fought
gallantly.
Last reports from our special cor-
respondent named the railroad tracks
as the intermediate line of battle with
both sides strongly entrenched and
vowing to fight it out on this line if
it took all summer.
Exams Abolished
By Long Decree
From Faculty
WANTED Name of same reliable
hair tonic that McCreary wants.
Freshmen Sunderman Eskew Wes-
ter Bane Collins Barbee Tucker
Peyton Cash and Sael.
City. On receipt of fifteen pounds of
bull-neck and ten pounds of beans the
book "Romance on Concrete Steps"
will be sent practically free of charge.
Complaints from citizens of Brown-
wood terminating in a petition sign-
ed by 234456543543 people brought
forth the most startling expose since
the Ministerial Council's trial.
The petition stated that articles of
household use had been being continu-
ally missing since the inauguration of
the Fall Term in September. Outrag
ed citizens appealed in the name of
necessity and decency that the thefts
be stopped at once and all of their
possessions returned. They stipulated
that from certain methods being used
in the nightly robberies the finger of
guilt pointed to the residents of the
girl's annex.
Moving secretly the faculty gather-
ed their forces and descended in a
body on the building. Smashing down
the tightly barred door they careened
into the hallway and there an amaz-
ing sight greeted their eyes. Stacked
to the ceiling was tier upon tier of
bathroom fixtures and flowing out in-
to the other rooms were literally thou-
sands of bathtubs lavatories and oth-
er accessories. Little ones big ones
small ones medium sized ones every
conceivable slbe. Yea even fur-lined
tubs that must have come from Alas-
ka. And ones fitted with palm leaf
fans all comfy for summertime.
An exhaustive grilling brought also
forth the fac that the girls did all
their studying In the afternoons and
had nothing to do at night. Conse-
quently they fell Into the wrong path-
way and started their career of crime.
Grace Skelton admitted ring leader
stated that they didn't think the peo-
ple would miss the bathroom fixtures
and naively said "They were so pret-
ty. I just couldnt r'eslst them."
Dastardly Bomb
Plot Twarted
In the Bud
A fiendish plot to blow up the girls
dormitory was discovered late Tues-
day by Leo Varner most effeminate
man In Howard Payne. The ring
headed by G. Royalty Hopson was ap
prehended in their hideout in the
"Flat" district of Brownwood.
The explosive consisting of dyna-
mlte T. N. T. nitroglycerine and raw
corn whiskey were found In the base-
ment of the building by a couple of
starving inmates who were searching
desperately for food. A clue as to the
identity of the plotters was found
nearby the hiding place of the explo
sives in the shape of a four door Pack-
ard sedan with the initials "G. R. H."
on the door. The criminals in their
haste accidentally forgot to take the
automobile away with them.
After being grilled 536 consecutive
hours by Captain Shelton Hopson
broke down and confessed his guilt.
Hysterically he shouted "It was no
crime. Those dorm twists are dead
from the ears up and I was gonna
finish 'em up!"
The thing that all students have
feared would come and that has been
rumored about In hearsay was finally
announced today. Dean Oxhead El-
mer Winebrenner after a long and
flowery oration as Is always his cus-
tom in chapel sounded the death knell
of all nf these delightful hours of
cramming that the students have al-
ways enjoyed. The dean's hour and
a half speech boiled down to a nut-
shell was "There will be no more
exams."
The college heads have said that
some other method of testing the stu-
dents would probably be employed.
According to Mr. Tubby Brooks the
method most likely to be employed
was grading on the students ability
to eat and drink. J. Waddy Bullion
Rosy Flowers and Stiff Knelff led the
movement protesting against this
method of grading. Flowers and Bul-
lion objected on the ground that al-
though they were heavy drinkers they
were not heavy eaters and believed
that they could come nearer making
the honor roll by the cramming meth-
od. Knelff was In favor of doing
away with both of these and grading
on the largest collection of assorted
cigarette butts.
Feeling was running high against
the change and the students for one
reason or another banded themselves
together to Influence the college eith-
er by fair means or foul to go back
to the old exam system. Dr. Tom
Taylor president dropped In on the
campus for a few minutes to say "We
ain't gonna be brow beat by anyone
we'll hold a taffy pull and grade you
thata way if we want to."
After this demonstration the stu-
dents saw that exams were gone for-
ever and a dozen or more of them
tied rocks around their necks and
jumped in the Bayou in regret at the
abolition of their favorite pastime.
RUMORS THAT
PLAYERS WILL
FOLLOW COACH
Science Students
Go On Industrial
Tour of Texas
O. E. Winebrenner head of the
Science department with five advanc-
ed Chemistry students returned home
Sunday afternoon after an extensive
tour of Texas industries.
The group composed of Professor
Winebrenner. Jewel Daughety Joe
Drake Ernest Allen Sonny Winebren-
ner and Wayne Chambers. Made a
tour of Fort Worth Industrial plants
and laboratories as the guests of the
Chamber of Commerce. Included in
the visit was the research laborato
ries of Armour & Co. the Globe Lab
oratories and several other points of
scientific interest.
Following the stay in Fort Worth
the group went to Waco to attend the
meeting of the American Chemical
Society. They attended a banquet
given for the group and later heard
Dr. Hopkins of the University of Illi-
nois discoverer of the element illi-
nium speak on the periodic system.
Joe Bailey Cheaney for the past
seven years head coach of Howard
Payne will take the position of head
coach in Simmons University In the
year of 1935. Coach Cheaney states
that It has always been his lifelong
ambition to coach the goat herders.
He states farther however that this
ambition was given Impetus by some
dirty things th eend man said to him
as he was going around his end on
that memorable 95 ft. 7 inch run in
his playing days.
In an Interview with five members
of the Yellow Jacket staff the coach
stated that his reasons for going to
Simmons were too numerous to men-
tion. But some of the more outstand-
ing were as follows:
In the first place If anyone would
go to Simmons and succeed in defeat-
ing Howard Payne they would be giv-
en a goat ranch and a statue erected
in their honor. I would like to see my
picture on a pedestal looking down on
the Hardin-Slmmons campus and I
think that the ranch life would be
beneficial to the children. In the sec-
ond place at Hardln-Simmons they
give you 19 footballs to play with in
practice and serve Eskimo pies be-
tween quarters. In the third place he
wants to get the Inside dope on that
tedious game of jacks.
Hon. Frank Filch Bridges long be-
loved by the entire Howard Payne
campus will take up the coaching ac-
tivities of the school next year. In
accepting the position Mr. Bridges
said "I can't do worse than my worst
and my worse is better than Mr.
Cheaney's best." The ladies auxiliary
assisted by the football team plan a
pounding for the new coach in the
near future.
Fish Interpret
Shakespeare in
Chapel Brawl
The Freshman class presented their
version of a 'play by the Howard
Payne Players in chapel last Friday
morning. The title of the play was
"It Must Have Been Something Juli
et." This made mad dramma with
apologies to BUI Shakespeare was
very effectively staged in natural cos-
tumes. The part of Juliet was undertaken
by Mossey Myrick with James Read
Saunders playing opposite "her" as
Romeo. The part of Miss Myrick's
father was done very effectively by
James Saunders. Joe McDonougn
acted as master of ceremonies and as-
sisted in carrying the bodies from the
stage.
Other interesting sidelights were
reading by Lauster McDonald $mi m
brawl between Willie Kemp and Joe
Woodward.
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Yellow Jacket (Brownwood, Tex.), Vol. 21, No. 22, Ed. 1, Monday, April 1, 1935, newspaper, April 1, 1935; Brownwood, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth102267/m1/1/: accessed June 23, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Howard Payne University Library.