Yellow Jacket (Brownwood, Tex.), Vol. 21, No. 22, Ed. 1, Monday, April 1, 1935 Page: 4 of 4
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f You haven't Caught on Already Skip It.
Well You Rum Dum
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TRACK TEAM PLACES IN STOCK SHOW
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EASTER PARADE
Only four weeks to Easter.
No loner can we say Easter Is slow-
ly creeping upon us. It's galloping.
Will you please see the beautiful new
merchandise while it is here and plen-
tiful. A last minute scramble always
means trials tribulations and a los-
ing battle in the purchase of the mer-
chandise you want.
You are always welcome to come
and see whether you wish to purchase
or not.
BETTIS & GIBBS Inc.
Headquarters for College Girls'
Clothes.
Fletcher Takes
First Place In
Shot Put Test
WANT ADS
WANTED Suggestions on how to
grow a moustache. Urgent. John A.
Wester.
NOTICE I positively will
bothered by petting parties
campus. Wild Bill Marshall.
not be
on the
LOST Hair switch. Return to Dor-
othy Wilson.
WARNING Keep away from the
fire escape except during social hours.
Miss McChristy.
J. Horace (Cap) Shelton's thinly
clads took sixth plaec in the South-
western Exposition and Fat Stock
Show in Fort Worth Saturday. This
was an excellent showing in view of
the fact that only the relay team and
a few others of the track squad made
the trip.
Abilene Christian College won the
meet with a total of 45 1-2 points fol-
lowed by Denton with 22. Hardin-
Simmons followed close behind Den-
ton to take third place with twenty
DOlnts. Oklahoma npntrnl Tpnphers
was fourth with sixteen and San Mar- We want to extend our apologies to
cos Teachers followed in fifth with 12 ! LeRoy Rushing for leaving his name
THE BRAIN STORM
Well this edition of the Yaller Jac-
ket is to give the student body in gen-
eral a chance to get all of the surplus
nonsense off of its system. If the bo-
loney herein contained does not tickle
you then we aie very very very
sorry but nothing can be done about
it now. You see it has all preyed on
my brain so long that 1 have been in-
fluenced into talking incohetcnt foolishness.
But that is neither here nor there.
We are going to make this pai t of the
paper mote or less serious as a diver-
sion from the hoakum coveting other
pages. Every time you get enough
to gag you tutn back here and read
something serious to get yout mind
to thinking clearly again.
YOU won't be Fooling if you L
KNOBLER'S
i
"Where Prices Are Always RlQljf
Knobler's Style Sfc'
Style - Quality - prjce
x;
off of the Honor Roll in the last issue
of the paper. LeRoy made 37 points
the highest number made by anyone
in the six week grades. A thousand
pat dons LeRoy.
WANTED A hair dresser. Must
know lates tstyles and be experienced
brilliantine expert. Notify Vanita
Yates.
WANTED A deaf and dumb
chauffer with a stiff neck to drive
the car while I sit in the back seat
with Nancy. Ben Florey.
WANTED Name of reliable hair
tonic. Frank McCreary. P. S. For
external use.
WANTED By May 24 Nice cozy
bungalow surrounded by roses and
vines. Reasonable rent. Jodie Caldwell.
WANTED Someone to write notes
to a disappointed sheik. Aubrey
Crockett.
We hear that it has been a good old
Scottish custom in past yeats to pte-
sent the president' ol the University
of Edinburgh with a Christinas ptes-
5-6. The Jackets amassed ten points
for sixth place. Commerce Daniel
Baker and Stephen F. Austin follow-
ed with 5 5 4 1-3 respectively.
Howard Payne's points came from
the High Jump in which Osbom Lit-
tle tied with Williams of San Marcos
and Parker of Stephen F. Austin for
first place. The Shot Put in which
Clovis Fletcher placed first' and Hus
ton Wedeman placed third the 880- j ent financed from fines collected from
yard run in which Chandler placed students who cut classes. Last Christ-
fourth and In the mile relay in which mas however it was found that the
the team composed of Leslie Terry ' cutting business had been so poor that
Huston Wedeman Clark Roberds and I the proxy was presented with a bag
what??? ? j of tooth pirks This method of pre-
College Division venting class cutting should be em-440-yard
run: Stovall (North Texas I ployed in Howatd Payne ptovided we
Teachers) first; Melton (Abilene i had enough students of Scotch de-
Christian) second; Thomas (East scent.
Texas Teachers) third; Norris (San
Marcos fourth. Time: 52.4.
High Jump: A. Williams (South-
west Teachers) Parker (Stephen F.
Austin) and Little (Howard Payne)
tied for first; C. Williams (Hardin-
Simmons) fourth. Height 6 feet.
Mile Run: Abbey (North Texas
Teachers) first; Keggy (Abilene C)
second; Conley (N. Texas Teachers)'
third; Carver (Central State Teach-
in case you people didn't know it
we have a new character on our cam-
pus Mr E E Teirell late of Baylor
is now managing the Jacket Book
Store He is one of the most likeable
people we have met in a long while
and you would do well to go over and
get acquainted.
us on this but we heard Mr. Winebren-
ner ate his shirt in a moment of men-
tal abstraction or perhaps it wasn't.
Anyway these are the facts of the
case. He took one of his best Sunday
go-to-meeting shirts dissolved it in
an acid neutralized the acid with a
base spread the residue on a piece of
I bread and consumed it sum and sub-
' stance. Of course it wasn't told to us
I we only heard.
I Let us say in closing that we hope
j that you like this April Fool edition
of the Yellow Jacket. We only wish
that you would enjoy reading it as
I much as we enjoyed writing it.
ORGANIZATIONS
I The Inevitable Inebriateo Temper-
ance Society (headquarters The
Barn) has been temporarily disband-
ed due to most of its members being
confined in the local bastile.
Temperance workets from the girl's
lockup returned from a visit to the
City Hall with their ears rather sal-
mon colored They reported that the
young men woie not' glad to see them
would not listen to them and hurled
epithets at them Ruth Johnson re-
matked "I'm throuirh wit dem euvs."
Initial Offend
PresenteDl
WANTED A new technique in the
hand-holding. Marshall seems to be
tiring of my present methods. Wood-
row Smith.
WANTED Boys to make dates
with the dorm girls on Saturday
nights. You will won't you boys?
Miss McChristy.
Our Hour Ballet
Raided; Account
By Eye Witness
(By An Eye Witness)
Screaming sirens whistles and pis-
tol shots ushered in one of the most
dramatic episodes of the history of
our fair college. Lights flashed on
as windows smashed and screams rent
the darkness. There I was trapped
and not an exit in sight. I could do
nothing I was helpless.
Against my better judgment I had
attended Howard Payne Hour that
night on a membership ticket loaned
to me by a friend. Rapping at the
side entrance I was surveyed through
a small port and after my card was
examined I was admitted.
Shortly after the show started and
I sat there entranced. On the brightly
lighted stage was going on an intri-
cate chorus dance by the Annex-girl's
Admirable. To my bewildered eye
the main objective seemed to be who
could kick the highest but evidently
the crowd liked it. They cheered and
clapped and otherwise showed their
approval. It was slightly nauseating
to me but when a burly fellow leaned
over and snarled "Wot's de matter
buddy? Ain't our stuff good enough
for you?" I febely smiled and waved
my handkerchief.
This kind of entertainment went on
for hours it seemed until the break
ing down of the door by the police.
Stumbling up to a husky officer I
gasped "Please please get me away
from here even if I have to spend
the rest of my life In jail."
X am proud. I have been an eye
witness to that most infamous orgy
the Howard Payne Hour.
Indigestion
"Dear Doctor: My pet billy goat is
seriously ill from eating a complete
leather-bound aet of Shakespeare.
What do you prescribe?"
Answer: "Am sending Literary Di-
gest by return malL"
Snot Put: Fletcher (Howard Payne)
first; Parker (Abilene Christian) sec-j
ond; Cole (N. Texas Teachers ( third; i
Wedeman (Howard Payne) fourth.
Distance: 44 ft 2 inch. I
Broad Jump: Phillips (Tulsa Uni-I
versity) first; Reeves (Texas) sec-j
ond; Ramsey (Texas) third; Helbing
(Texas A. & M.) fourth. Distance 21
ft 11 3-4 inch. I
110-yard Dash: D. Brown (Abilene
Christian) first; Howell (Hardin-Sim-mons)
second; E. Brown (Abilene
Christian) third; Monroe (Stephen F.
Austin) fourth. Time: 10.2.
120-yard High Hurdles: onnel (Abi-
lene Christian) first; Hill (Hatdin-
Slmmons) second; Barnard (Central
Teachers) third; Fulchei (Hatdin-
Simmons) fourth. Time: 15.4.
22-yard Dash: Howell (Hardin-Sim-mons)
first; Brown (Abilene Chns-
tlan) second; Cowan (Abilene Chris-
tian) third; Gueder (San Mai cos)
fourth. Time: 22.6.
Pole Vault: Hickman (Daniel Ea-
ker) first; Dailey (Southwest Teach-
ers) second; aCmpbell (Southwest
Teachers) Connel (Abilene Chtistiani
tied for third. Height: 12 ft. Tied fot
record.
Discus: Philips (N. Texas Teach-
ers) first; Fulcher Hardin-Simmons)
second; New (Southwest Teachois)
third; Johnson (E. Texas Teach.isi
third; Johnson (E. Texas Teacher?)
fourth. Distance: 133 ft. 1 inch.
Broad Jump: D. Brown (Abilene
Christian) first; Stark (Oklahoma
Central Teachers) second; Plumlee
(Oklahoma Central Teachets) thud;
Moody (Hardin-Simmons) fouith.
Distance 22 ft. 10 inches.
880-yard Run: Chrismen (Abilene
Christian) first; Keagy (Abilene
Christian) second; Woods (Oklahoma
Teachers) third; Chandler (Howard
Payne) fourth. Time: 2:35-10.
220-yard Hurdles: Barnard (enttal
Teachers) first; Hill (Hardin-Simmons)
second; Majors (East Texas
Teachers) third; Holloway (San Mar-
cos) fourth. Time 25.9.
Mile Relay: Abilene Christian Col-
lege first; North Texas Teachers .sec-
ond; Howard Payne third; Central
Oklahoma Teachers fourth. Time:
3:30:3.
The recent laid on the Barn was
Well we very nearly got what we broutrht on bv the lonnests nf aowni
the way fo halt CUts reDUtable tmvnsninnli whn Uvo nH-fa-
They said ttoey
ers) fourth. Time: 4:26. (New rec- asked for in
ord.) Old record 4:33.1. i We had to lay down on the bottom oi i cent to the ramnm.
cars and go thtough half dozen back
yards alleys and pig pens to get away
from the boys. The safest thing to
do is to go down and have the bat bet
cut it off for although Fteshtnan
Patker spent two yeats in bather col-
lege he is not- as artistic with the
shears as he might be
Oh! By the way you needn't quote ' cause.
didn't mind the crude harmonizing be-
ing carried on but it was carried or.
all night.
Ray Biagg ptesident of the society
said they wete only trying to live up
to then motto: "Down with liquor
(down whet e' i and if the boys got
uniuly at times to please temember
mat tiiey weie domi it for n nnht
Rogues' Gallery
$1000 REWARD DEAD OR All
Side Views Omitted
The Howard Payne pi. I
ed Tuesday evening
of Being Earnest"
presented in tte tm
mentof aLondongenae.
turmoil of the converst
promising bachelors. ivfT
two acts were present
try home of one of tw
The two gentlemen desmudg
the given name "Eamaue 3
that they might win lis irec
some maids who fo; Kpre
other admired the tanverj
"M represented atu
All the playing scenerj i the
was excellent. tam
The cast are as folWexs
John Worthing. Mike B Jf
Algernon Moncreiff LjUe8
Jr. htr!
ffei
Rev. Chausible GtnUe oi
Lane David Morris )lay
Met t lman Bill Steiets.: 1
Gwencloling Fairfax Blam
ney. Co
Cecily Cardew VaniuS O
Lady Biacknell LaiK(ntei
Miss Vi ism June Page. CS
The play was well rCar
showed the appreciable Pr V
the student body. '""2
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res
e pi
le
vere
e 81
Srni
dll
con
thi
T
wit
oust
If your English teacher speaks to
you about using the proper kind of
paper remind her that Keats once
wrote on a Grecian urn.
The lowest temperature ever recotd-
ed was this week reported developed
by Professors De Haas and Wiersma
of the University of Leyden Holland.
In an experiment they asertedly at-
tained a temperature reported to be
leas than l200th of one degree above
absolute aero which is 459.6 degrees
below zero Fahrenheit
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Yellow Jacket (Brownwood, Tex.), Vol. 21, No. 22, Ed. 1, Monday, April 1, 1935, newspaper, April 1, 1935; Brownwood, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth102267/m1/4/: accessed June 23, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Howard Payne University Library.