The Daily Index. (Mineral Wells, Tex.), Vol. 3, No. 143, Ed. 1 Friday, October 17, 1902 Page: 3 of 4
This newspaper is part of the collection entitled: Palo Pinto County Newspapers and was provided to The Portal to Texas History by the Boyce Ditto Public Library.
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TEAR NINOS-
Thing* we should like to meet
|fiction, but never shall:
A hero who Is not a blithering idiot.
A house that is not Bllsabethan,
Lnd does not stand on the summit of
r hiii which commands a magnificent
l-Tlew bt the surrounding country.
A ball which is anything but ances-
Itral-
A brook that is not purling.
An old maid who is not starchy and
I soured and continually poking her nose
I where It is not required.
•An indignant father who Is not8par-
jt4n a mother who is not brimming
L\er with love for her offspring, and
Iwho swoons when she learns that her
Lrai has received a well-deserved
Urabbing; oi IB invalid brother or
sister who is not patiently pining away
with a nonalcoholic consumption.
A lovers’ quarrel which is not bitter
[and uncompromising, and. is not made
up (like the heroine) in the next chap-
Iter
A villain who Is not a member of
the peerage and all the swagger clubs,
|and who is not on the verge of bank-
Iruptcy.
A rain that does not dash in torrents
lagainst the window panes, and a wind
| that does not sweep in heavy and flt-
Ifui gusts along the dreary and desert-
led streets.
A natural sequence of events which
|Is Dot described as a Nemesis.
A young widow who Is not pretty
land dashing and dangerous.
A feeling of awe which, after pages
|ot explanation, is atill inexplicable.
A pair of eyes which do not flash—
|flre or anything elae.
A struggling artist who |s not en-
Igaged on a masterpiece; hn author
|who is not domiciled Ip a garret; and
dramatist who bad not always got
Mower in the lapel of his dress coat.
There are others, of course, but
Ispace forbids.
MERE OPINION.
The reason the fool Is so quickly
found out Is that he goes around with
|l ls mouth open.
In these days it Isn’t safe to Judge
la woman’s age by the number of dl-
lvorces she has bad.
When a man disgraces himself his
irst' thought is not one of regret for
t is own shame, .but of what the world
rill think.
A wise man never boasts to his
Iboys about the great things he did
|when he was a boy, If any of the old
settlers are present.
One of the differences between the
Imeasles and the eccentricities of
genius is that the latter are not neces-
lly fatal If they strike in.
Some girls seem to think they are
lot getting their money’s worth If
they fall to be engaged seven or eight
limes before they get married.
Adam’s luck was simply wonderful,
le never had to sit around and hear
lis wife’s Aunt Eliza tell what she
lid for her babies when they were
^eethlng.
Every dollar that the vulgar mil-
lionaire bets on a horse race or puts
|nto a Jack-pot or flips to a waiter
las been earned through hard work
tty somebody else.
When a captain Of Industry learns
pronounce the names of the paint-
ers who are represented in his mag-
lflcent art gallery he feels prouder
un If he had Just scooped In two
oillion on Colorado Fuel.
NEXT MORNING PHILOSOPHER.
Too many people mistake discontent
for enterprise.
A man ridden by his passions is
an ' spurred to destruction.
“It Is not easy to teach an old dog
new tricks,” and .harder to break him
his old ones. ]
Some people can tell all they know
yet not occupy more than kalf a
sn short paragraphs.
The divorce reported naturally
»ps tab on the elopements and the
Jtra fashionable weddings.
The successful man nas friends and
spare, while the unfortunate man is
fen deficient in sympathisers.
“tire before 12, arise at 6, drink
[ tumbler of hot water, abjure stimu-
late, eat with moderation, take plenty
exercise and do not be afraid of
fork, if you would circumvent the
tor and prolong youth.
REFLECTIONS.
Nobody takes a poor man’s advice,
is there such a thing as paralysis
" the will?
8uccees amounts to so little—if wa
successful.
Dress is the armor of the day-
id ridicule the weapon.
Love it that variety of affection
rhl$h endures—for awhile.
The rogue triumphs when he “gets
laugh on’’ the honest man.
Charity may begin at home, bat is
ly least appreciated there.
A memorandum le all right—if one
*"t forget and leave It at home.
Insinuation is the most complete
a perfyet flower of the devil's grow
[.-Washington Times.
WIT AND WISDOM.
As long as a woman can love she Is
yovat. (Second childhood.)
When people lose their faith in all
things good, they never offer i reward
for its return.
If matrimony did not so often prove
a failure, women's clubs would go out
of business.
There Is more mute language in the
first hand clasp of love than in • the
first kiss.
A woman’s soul dies when she re-
alizes that she is no longer attractive.
Unanswered prayers are the mauso-
leums of faith and hope.
It is better to enjoy what we have
than to sigh for what we cannot get.
A woman’s club is the place where
a woman says-mean things about
hubby that she would not dare say
before her mother-in-law.
When it takes dollars to keep love
there should be sense enough to let it
go. -.....
A woman never forgives another for
being better looking or better
groomed than she Is herself.
It does not take a dynamite bomb
to blast a reputation, but when a
small sliver is damaged It wJII take
a whole factory to bore down deep
enough to lay the foundation of an-
other.
Wise men are often made fools of
by very foolish women.
You can’t measure a man's generos-
ity by the size of his glove.
If married men would attend some
real fervid play and take a few les-
sons In love-making the home atmos-
phere might grow a little warmer.
People sometimes think they are
having barrels of fun when they are
only making fools of themselves.
Money talks pretty loud to s rich
man, but a poor man has to strain his
ears to catch its whisperings.
4A
JOKE WAS ON CHOATE.
Compliment to His Abilities Net En
tlrely Relished.
When Rufus H. Choate waa la the
heyday of hla career as a practitioner,
he undertook the defense of two men
accused of burglary. The prosecu-
tion’s chief witness contributed some
damaging testimony, and among other
things swore that the defendant tried
to,, induce him to Join with them In
the burglary, offering rare Induce-
ments. Choate leaped to his feet, re-
minded the witness that he was under
oath and then menacingly asked:
“Now, tell the Jury Just how my
client tried to persuade you to Join
in a crime!’*
The witness hesitated; and Choate
repeated the question. The bench
upheld him in saying the witness
must answer.
"Well,” faltered the witness, per-
spiration starting from every pore as
ho encountered the lawyer’s angry
gaze, “they said no harm could come
to us, for there was a lawyer here in
Boston named Choate who could get
us off even If we were caught with
the money In our boota.”
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
Man proposes—or the girl gets left.
Never pluck your coupons before
they are ripe.
Chinese actors are expected to fur-
nish their own cues.
A married man says the best alarm
clock is his wife’s elbow.
A man may be able to argue with a
woman, but it never does any good.
There Is nothing more musical to
an ass than the voice of another ass.
When justice anu love go hand In
hand it’s a case of blind leading the
blind.
For . every self-made man In the
world there are ten who are self-
unmade.
One trouble with most men who
have lofty aims Is that they are mis-
erable shots.
With the possible exception of tbe
repairs In a new bouse there’s aa end
to all things.
Either the Lord doesn't know his
business or else the man who docks
a horse's ta^l is a fool.
A poet's memory may be fickle, but
his thoughts often come back to him
—If he Incloses a stamp.
Eternal vigilance on tbe part of the
jailer Is necessary in order to pre-
vent his guests from taking undue lib-
erty. ————........... _
Belief that there are as good fish
in the sea as ever was caught is poor
consolation to the man whose bait is
(•one.
Tbe American heiress wants qual-
ity and tbe impecunious nobleman
wants quantity. Bring the two to-
gether and the result is a matrimonial
merger.—Chicago News.
PENCIL POINTS.
A Joke that requires an explanation
is no Joke.
Wise is the prophet who doesn’t bet
on his prediction.
The lazier a man Is the more he in-
tends to do to-morrow.
A woman often says “It’s no use
talking,” but she never means it
Professional hypocrites confess the
sins of others and overlook their own.
If men abused their bodies as they
do their credit the race would soon
run out
Appearances are deceitful, but one
can judge pretty accurately from dis-
appearances.
Nebuchadnezzer had to eat grass,
which leads one to believe that there
were other meat trusts.
When a woman dotes her Invalid
husband with herb tea and he doesn’t
get well she considers him either con-
trary or ungrateful.
•Y OUR OWN SAGE.
Adversity makes great men greater
and small men smaller.
Lots of women haters are afraid to
mention the tact to their wives.
Don’t keep a good scheme on hand
when it should be placed on foot
A "»*n is always known by the
company that refuses to keep him.
When a woman seeks information
■he goes after It in a roundabout way
Saying nothing at the right time
is equivalent to saying the right
REMARKS HAD DAD EFFECT.
Made Unregenerate tinner Decide
Wslt a While.
Some of Camden’s "practical’ pol-
iticians were talking Pennsylvania
politics the other evening on the
porch of the West Jersey Hotel, and
the conversation naturally drifted into-
a discussion of the reform movement*
that have marked the campaigns here
in recent years. One of the group
said that Philadelphia's reformers al-
ways reminded him of the village tip-
pler whoee wife, after trying for years
to cure him, felt Impelled to call in
the services of the local minister.
The minister exhorted, argued and
moralized for a half-hour or more and
wound up with the sage observation:
“Remember, good brother, it Is new-
er too late to mend!"
"Do you really mean that, parson—
that it’s never too late?” asked the
unregenerate one.
"Surely, brother—It’s never too
late,” replied the parson.
"Welir If that’s the case,*’ rejoined
the tippler, “I believe I'll wait a little
while longer.—Philadelphia Ledger.
HAD TO DRAW THE LINE.
Confidential Clerk Not as Smart as
He Thought He waa
A story 1b being told of a certain
confidential clerk who formed the
wicked habit of running out from his
business each morning at 11 o'clock
to partake of a glass of rum. Not
being very proud of this, his dally
habit, he asked invariably for a few
caraway seeds that he might chew
them and under this bushel hide his
alcoholic light. For years and years
this habit went on, and he apparently
escaped detection. On one occasion
he found that at his favorite hostelry
there were no caraway seeds, so he
was compelled to put up with a beau-
tiful spring onion by way of buBhel.
Presently he returned to his desk and
went on with his work, his employer
sitting at the desk opposite. Soon
the employer noticed something. At
first it was faintly perceptible, but
presently It became leis agreeable*.
“Look here,’ he said, “I’ve stood rum
and caraway for twenty-two years,
but I draw the line at rum and
onions.”
f ' • *.
Satisfied It Was a Success.
The story of a Scotchman who ah*
tended a funeral which lasted* term
days,' is told by Norman B. Meek of
Buffalo. On the second day, having
imbibed too freely, he rose and pro-
posed the health of the bride an*-
groom.
f A friend urged him to^plt down, say-
ing. “This is not a wedding; it is »
funeral.”
"Well,” retorted the Scotchman*
'whatever it Is, it’s a grand success.”
New York's Women Smokers.
The smoking woman is by no meaaa
a rarity in New York. She has cun-
ning little trlcka to conceal the vlcet
bet she cannot hide It from the shop-
keeper. A tobacconist, of the m*>
tropolis, remarked recently that a good
I part of his trade In Turkish cigarettes
and other fairy brands is made up ot
smart society women. He says most of
"item pick up the idfea while abroad,
where the practice is common and In-
dulged in the open. _____*
DEVIL IN THE PRESS.
The Alaska “Musher" Explained.
The New York Sun recently under-
took to throw a flood of light on the
slang used by the miners at Thunder
Mountain. It says:
“Oftentimes the man making his
first trip Into Thunder Mountain Is
called a ‘musher,* because he takes
all kinds of cereal and mushy foods
with him. This word has come down
from Alaska.”
“Mush” comes from an Indian word
used on the Yukon. The fact is that
some of the first white people in the
Northwest Territory were French-
Canadlans, who cried to their dogs,
"Marchons" (walk, or get on). Drivers
who did not understand French cor-
rupted the “Marchons" to "mush on,’
the “on” being still in general ase by
dog drivers calling to their teams.
From “mush on”, comes the verb “to
mush” and the noun "musher.”—
Nome Qold Digger.
New Hampshire Publisher Makes
Unique Apology to Patrons.
We owe an apology to our readers.
For the past three nights we have
been laboring at great disadvantage
In getting out our paper. The result
has been late delivery and some of
our patrons have been forced to go
without any paper at all. It has been
a time trying not only to the patience
of these readers, but one of extreme
hard work for those employed In our
pressroom. As to the trouble, It
would appear as though the evil one
bad located himself m our web press,
and was bending all of bis energies
to thwart our efforts lu getting out
our edition. The press has balked,
and notwithstanding constant groom-
ing and nursing, has only performed
Its accustomed rapid work In an Inter-
mittent way. We are In hopes, how-
ever, that tha expert machinist now
studying Its mechanical features will
unravel the cause of the machine's
inysterfous actions, and that hence-
forth we shall have no more trouble
with it.—Foster’s N. H. Democrat.
' Took His Money Along.
In the Department of Indre et Loire,
France, recently, a man died who was
known to have a modest little fortune.
After his burial his heirs arrived and
searched wardrobes, beds, mattresses
—every available corner, In short—for
the nest-egg. It was nowhere visible.
The heirs were In despair at inher-
iting nothing. Finally they had so
idea. They went to look for a for-
tune-teller. She chanced to be a re-
respectable dame who was well ac-
quainted with the deceased and knew
his habits. Hence she drew on facts
rather than* on the realm of the unsee-
able, and told them that the fortune
of their relative was concealed In his
belt
This belt had been left upon the
body of tbe dead man. He was disin-
terred, the belt cut and, in truth, |400
was found In It.
A Long Bottle Story.
A bottle which has been on its way
for two years and a half has Just boon
picked up near the Hawaiian Islands.
From Its contents it appears that It
was thrown Into the Mackinao Strait
In 1900 by a Mr. Rocher of Illinois It
appears to have floated down the Mis-
sissippi, crossed the Mexican Gulf and
the Atlantic, doubled Capo Horn, and
drifted on the Pacific until picked up—
a distance of 10,000 miles of so."
Sultan’s Wife Only 12.
The new Sultan of Zanzibar is All
bln Hamour, a youth of 17, who has
been educated in England at Harrow.
Having completed his course there, he
left that country some time ago for
Zanzibar and the steamer by which he
traveled should have brought him
home by this time. It is to be assumed
that All bin Hamour will have learned
at Jlbutil of the death of hla father
and of his succession to the Sultanate.
He was traveling home in the com-
pany of Gen. Raikea, commander-in-
chief of the Zanzibar forces, and of
Basil Cave, the British agent and con-
sul in the Island. All bin Hamour was
recently married to his cousin, a prin-
cess of the royal house, between 11
and 12 years of age.
Net Frightened.
W. 8. Gilbert, the playwright, when
lunching at a rural hotel, found him-
self at the table with a party of three
clergymen- who had been cycling In
the neighborhood. When they learned
his identity, they struck up an ac-
quaintance and regarding him as a
curiosity, plied him with various ques-
tions. Finally, one of the number
asked bow be, a person of the thtoUer,
felt in the company of three man of
the church. Gilbert’s reply whs
proiipt. ».
“I feel,” said he, “like a lion In a
den of Daniels.”
Arctic Coal.
Tbe Norwegians are turning their
attention to the large and prointsing
coal fields on the southwest coast of
Spitsbergen. For several yearn past
their fishermen, while In these coastal
waters, have observed the outcrops of
coaL Their stories aroused Interest
at home and the coal fields were ex-
amined se a possible source of profit.
Several companies have been formed
to carry on coal mining in these new
fields and there to much confidence in
Norway that tbe new Arctic enterprise
will be profitable. .
Was Willing to Try It
At a musicale where the Rev.
Thomas P. McLoughlln, known as the
“singing priest of Chinatown,” was
a guest, s young woman, with a ro-
bust soprano voice did most of the
entertaining. She was very proud of
her accomplishments and her musical
education. She sang songs In Ger-
man, Italian, French and English.
When she appeared to have exhausted
her repertoire and the company pres-
ent were wishing for s change In the
program, Father McLoughlln paid her
some compliments and added:
“Why, Miss Jones, I think you could
sing ad Infinitum.”
*1 really don’t know It,” responded
the obliging young woman, "but if the
music is here, I’ll try it.’
A Relic of a Century Ago.
In Battery place, between West and
Washington sheets, New York, where
a foundation- was dug to a depth of
forty-five feet below the curb line, the
diggers encountered a wooden cellar
floor of remarkable construction. It
was built of white pine timbers ltxlO
inches, a else that would be Impossi-
ble to get now, if tbe country were
searched from sea to sea. The tim-
bers were held with brass spikes and
the seams between them were caulked
after the manner of a ship’s side to
exclude water from the* cellar when
the tide rose. This Is a relic of aris-
tocratic New York of a hundred years
ago.
All Pre-Empted.
A gentleman bad been absent for
some time, and daring his absence had
raised a pretty luxuriant crop of whis-
kers. mustache, etc. On returning
home he visited a relative, whose lit-
tle’girl he was very fond of.
The little girl made no demonstra-
tion toward saluting him with a kiss,
as was usual. i
“Why, child,” said the mother, “don’t
you give Uncle Will a kiss?”
“Why, na,” returned the little girl,
with the utmost simplicity, ”1 don’t
see any place.”
Horses Not Affected by Bun.
There is no proof that any horse
ever suffered from the effects of the
sun’s rays falling upon its head.
Among the human race It Is now a
wqjl-recognized fact that so-called
"sunstroke” Is due to a microbial in-
vasion of the body. In other words it
Is a kind of specific fever, and can be
contracted In the shade.—Tbe Medioal
Press.
Soured on Decorating.
“I suppose,” said the enterprising
merchant, “that you'll decorate a lot
during the week of festivities in
town?” “No, 1 won't," replied the
grumbling chap. “I don't think the au-
thorities appreciate efforts in that di-
rections. A few nights ago I started
out to paint the town red and I landed
In the police court”
Mesne Death to Many Dogs.
Owing to an outbreak of rabies in
Rhodesia, the native commissioner
met the lndunas or native chiefs and
explained the disease to them. They
promised to destroy all dogs except
favorites. This means the destruction
of from 60,000 to 80,000 dogs. The
government will destroy the hyena*
Will Net Be Interviewed.
Oen. Kitchener recently declined to
be interviewed by a soldier who has
since his return from South Africa
turned Journalist. “Always pleased
to see and do anything for any-
one who has served under me, but you
know I never—” Then he smiled and
shook his head.
—— If They Don’t Vanish.
If Mont Pelee doesn’t let up pretty
soon the French West Indies will
have to be taken off the International
bargain counter and thrown into the
Junk pile. And Denmark’s Island
possessions are also likely to suffer
with other perishable commodities.
■■■■■' —....................r—,m
Should Have Made Uee of IL
The latest southern desperado shot
by a sheriff’s posse was distinguished
for always carrying a Bible as well as
a rifle. If he had been more faithful
In his reading of the sacred volume he
might have been lees Indefatigable in
his use of tbe rifle.
Mueleal Instrument Factories.
Thera are 881 musical Instrument
factories in this country, of which 268
are piano factories. The figures show
s great decline in the number pf
organs made and an increase In the
number of pianos.
Russia Buys Persian Land.
Extensive purchssers^of land on
Bahrein Island, in the Peirilan gulf,
are reported to have been made by
tbe Russian consul at Bushlre.
Record of Motor Cer Driving.
A motor car has been driven from
Edinburgh to London without a stop
In twenty hours and forty minutes,
which to a record.
Dreamless Bleep a Myth.
In a recent number of the Scottish
Medical and Surgical Journal, tylr Ar-
thur Mitchell bolds that dreamless
sleep le a myth.
- Horses In France and Germany,
In 1800 France exported 8,000 horse*
more than she Imported whereas Ger-
many had to Import 90,000 more than
she exported.
"■4* ( T»»
4
.w*vv,;
Use for the Eiffel T«wer.
In 1908 the Eiffel tower becomes thn
property of the city of Paris, and will
then he used for Its weather bureau.
■ ~ sw
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• .
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Newton, W. B. The Daily Index. (Mineral Wells, Tex.), Vol. 3, No. 143, Ed. 1 Friday, October 17, 1902, newspaper, October 17, 1902; Mineral Wells, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1039146/m1/3/?q=%22%22~1: accessed July 11, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Boyce Ditto Public Library.