The Olney Enterprise. (Olney, Tex.), Vol. 10, No. 27, Ed. 1 Friday, October 24, 1919 Page: 4 of 16
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THE OLNEY ENTERPRISE—100 per cent American
THE OLNEY ENTERPRISE
Entered at the Postoffice at
Olney, Texas as second-class
matter
Published every Friday at Olney,
Texas. Established 1910
R. Shuffler, Editor and Owner
Four issues constitute one
month, and all advertising will be
run and charged for until ordered
out.
Subscription Rates:
One Year-----------------$1.50
Six Months--------------- .75
Four Months_____________ .50
Advertising Rates:
Display, per inch___________20c
Reading Notices, per line-----05c
Preferred Position, per inch —25c
Special rates on contracts for
more than 1,000 inches to be used
In twelve months.
In order to insure insertion in
the paper, advertisers must have
copy for the ads in this office not
later than Wednesday noon.
Few men are so forgetful as not
to know what to say when a horse
steps on their foot.
And now presidential possibili-
ties are being mentioned—also im-
possibilities.
Miss Ruby Wine is a resident of
Brandy Station, Virginia, but it
voted dry, notwithstanding.
‘ ‘ Dainty refreshments ’ ’ sounds
pretty but we’d rather have some-
thing to eat.
-o-
It is hard to dodge automobiles
and motorcycles, but comparative-
ly easy to dodge the water wagon.
-o-
The Chinese pay their debts the
first of the new year, but we would
rather be in debt than be a China-
man.
Editing grocery bills and such
like interferes with the perusal of
other kinds of literature one would
like to devote time to.
Just because your life is insured
in favor of the wife is no reason
you should not give her a dollar or
two while yet alive.
If men took an hour or two get-
ting ready to go out of the house,
their work would never be done,
either.
The most amazing thing we know,
Among amazing things,
Is why some people do not claim
Also a pair of wings.
Carranza says if the United
States intervenes forcibly in Mex-
ico the Mexicans will all unite to
fight for their honor. Mexican
honor! Ha! ha! Good joke. Laff
here.
When Lady Godiva rode naked
through the streets everybody -went
in the house and pulled down the
blinds. But there are so many
Lady Godivas (semi) on the streets
nowadays that the stunt is no long-
er startling.
The Adventists are again pre-
dicting the end of the world P. D.
Q. They are a very nice lot of peo-
ple but poor prophets. The world
in the meantime goes serenely on
doing business at the same old
stand, as it has for millions of years
and as in all human probability it
will continue for millions of more
years.
NOT ENOUGH GOODS
FOR THE MONEY
American women are so pretty
that, being a sort of wild Indian
from the wilds and fastness of
many places, we just can’t help but
look at ’em on the streets and else-
where, and being of an inquiring
turn of mind, noting wdiat they
have on, and what a lot of them
have not got on. We note that
about the same expanse of naked
elbow and vaccination mark is
being exhibited this autumn, and
also see by the fashion pages of the
Sunday newspapers that the pan-
nier is apt to come to life again.
The pannier, as we remember it
looked like a bale of hay on each
side, covered with cloth. Let the
dead past bury its dead, and along
with the filter hoops and the bustle
the pannier should stay dead.
We are not going to find fault
with the ladies about their clothes,
for we love every one of them, no
matter what kind of clothes they
have, from the full opera undress to
a Ute blanket, from bloomers to fig
leaf, but it does seem as though the
big department stores are flimflam-
ing our beautiful women unmerci-
fully, in that they do not give them
half enough dry goods for the
money.
A PLACE OF PEACE
AND QUIET
Do you yearn for peace and
quiet ? If the cares of life and the
struggle for gold have caused you
to desire a less strenuous existence,
far away from the civilized man’s
burdens and foibles, try the island
of Tristan da Cunba, far down in
the South Atlantic, midway be-
tween Cape Town and Buenos
Aires.
This health resort is visited about
once a year by a passing vessel, an
anarctic whaler, on its way to the
great frozen fields, and mail 'and
provisions are landed. The popula-
tion of the island numbers a hund-
red. Property is held in common.
Potatoes and wheat are grown, pigs
geese and chicken feed on the com-
mon pasture. No crime exists on
the island, and the hospitality of
the citizens know no bounds. The
great thrill of life is furnished by
the sight of a passing vessel. Boats
are immediately launched and
provisions bartered with the crew
for tea, sugar, etc., and other things
that the ship can spare.
The island was uninhabited until
the British put a garrison there to
prevent its use as a base to assist
the escape of Napoleon from St.
Helena. When the emperor died
the garrison was withdrawn, but
some of the members preferred to
stay on the island, and founded the
present settlement.
A FORMER INSURRECTO
According to news from the Phil-
lippine Islands, Emilio Aguinaldo,
fained as a youthful captain of the
Philippine insurgents, is winning
fame as a leader of industry. He is
holding much rich agricultural
land, and is greatly interested in
two of the largest coeoanut oil Con-
cerns now organized in the islands,
which export a third of the world’s
supply of this commodity.
In March, 1901, Aguinaldo, was
captured by an American force
under Funston. He had been fight-
ing for some time, first against the
Spanish alone, and when peace
gave the islands to this country,
against the United States. When
captured he took oath of allegiance
and has prospered beyond all ex-
pectations since that time.
This is another example of wise
handling of an in^urrecto. Like
Botha and Smuts the Jeader of a
revolt against a foreign country, he
like them, accepted the inevitable,
and became a success. If Germany
had conquered Aguinaldo he would
have been shot; as it was he has
developed into a capable leader and
a good citizen.
-o-
THE HIGHER EDUCATION
NEGLECTED SUBJECTS
Sometimes, a subscriber says, “I
wonder why you don’t comment
editorially on” this or that.
Lot of times these people want
the editor to criticise something, or
grab at one of the mental chestnuts
in the fire of adverse discussion.
Occasionally, the person is sin-
cere, and would like to know exact-
ly what is thought upon this or that
subject. Some questions perplex
the reader and he really seeks all
the information possible upon the
subject.
This newspaper is open for its
readers. It will be glad to print
their views upon various subjects,
as long as this is not personal nor
abused. If you are interested in a
subject, start the people to thinking
about it by calling it to their atten-
tion. Write your letter to the edit-
or, and it will be printed.
Interchange of views is always
profitable. If you have thoughts
that you think would be interesting
put them on paper and mail them
to us. There are probably others
who would\be interested in your
opinion on the subject.
-o-
THE BOLSHEVISTS
News dispatches tell of addition-
al Bolsheviki disasters. The news
is even more emphatic. Admiral
Kolchak and Gen. Denikin are in
regular communication working to-
gether to accomplish the downfall
; of the Reds.
This is encouraging, if true, but
the news of Russian victories over
Trotzky and Lenine have come
across so often that the public is a
bit wary. If it is a fact that the
two leaders of the anti-Bolshevist
movement are working together it
is important, unless they later
decide to fight against each other.
-o-
Some faddists claim to under-
stand the mystic and to be full of
psychic force. We never got full
on psychic force yet, though have
tried about everything else, finally
settling on prunes.
Some of the colleges are now giv-
ing the “B. A.” degree without
Greek or Latin. It is well. In
ninety-nine cases out of every one
hundred the young man starting
out to make a living in the world
for himself has need of Greek and
Latin the same as a pig needs two
tails. To the hundredth young
man, whose father provides, it is all
very nice, and even then a lot of
this “B. A.” stuff might well be
labeled “B. S.”
A NASAL LANGUAGE
Of all the foreign lingoes one
hears the Chinese is the least in-
telligible. In most languages an
occasional word is heard that
sounds like it might mean some-
thing, but one can listen for an
hour to a Chinese conversation and
hear nothing but a nasal duet re-
sembling the sounds of a plumber
flushing a sink pipe with a rubber
suction cup. A word evidently
varies in meaning according to
whether it is sung in bass, soprano,
alto or contralto.
Charge the bulk of vice and
crime up to laziness and drink.^ The
tramp and criminal demand leisure
gratis grub and unlimited license.
Prostitution is recruited from wo-
men who refuse to soil their pretty
white hands with dish-water, and
penitentiaries are full of men who
welched on digging ditches.
Out of 300 prisoners in Cali-
fornia state only twenty-one are
women. This shows why the devil
is always pictured as a man and
angels painted as the female of the
species.
-o-
The success of your business riv-
al is due to luck.
It is easier to get four aces than
an honest politician.
-o-
The summer waists \ showed the
neck, chest and suburbs.
-—o-
Under the influence of ice cream
soda nobody shoots up the town.
The main difference in Senator
Johnson’s band-wagon and any
other band-wagon is in its length
of tongue.
1 GOOD PAINTS CHEAP |
I have in stock a full line of colors in “SAFENCO” paints, §
made by the American Paint Company, and can sell you the
very best grade at $2.37 per gallon—just about half what
you pay for other paints. Have the cheaper grades also in |
stock, and a full line of oils and varnishes. Agent Magnoli
Oils, Gasoline and Greases. Residence Phone No. 137.
ROY JOHNSON
$iiiiiiiE2nniiiiiii!Diiiiiiiiiniuiiniiiiiiiit3iiiiHiiiint3iiiiiii!i!iiuiiiiiiiiiiiit]iiii!niiiiiaiiiiimimcniiiiiiiiiiiaiHiiii!fiii[]iiiiiiiiiiiit]ii!!iiiiii+
TAX COLLECTORS NOTICE
I will be at the following places named for
the purpose of collecting taxes for the year
1919: • 1
Loving, Saturday, October 25th.
Eliasville, Tuesday October 28th.
Olney, Monday, November 3rd.
Newcastle, Monday, Nov. 17th.
D. D. CUSENBARY, Tax Collector.
Hard to tell whether an English-
man talks English or not.
Nothing is a good substitute for
honesty.
-—o-
A flea by any other name would
bite just as hard.
Avoid the habit of 99c diamond
rings.
---o--
i rational Bird still roosts on
the dollar.
, u-
The feminine waist line is where
you find it.
-o-
The Lord won’t provide autos,
calico and booze.
-o-
There is plenty of hell here—no
need for another.
-o-
If you are a failure it is not the
country’s fault.
--—-o-
Autocracy is one thing and snob-
ocrac.y is antoher.
-o-
You can convert experience into
cash—also cash into experience.
-o-
Women boss us and we only half
suspect it.
-o-
Good breeding is not a bargain
counter commodity.
-o—-
There is often hell to pay, but
grouching won’t pay it.
Literature is the gift of gab with
thought behind it.
-o-
You simply cannot earn it as fast
as you can spend it.
-o-
Good fellows often like a lot of
being good.
When a fellow gets to be fifty
he is willing to settle baseball, foot-
ball, polo and dancing by arbitra-
tion, as well as war.
—-~0—-4
\\ hen some men die, others are
sorry all that day.
A Boston lady is wearing a neck-
lace reputed to be 3,919 years old.
That being the case, it looks like the
local women could wear last- years
coat suit without trouble.
-o-
A lot of young chaps turn up
their pants and wade into tango
who neVer turn up their sleeves
and wade into work.
-o-
Some are born with black eyes
and some acquire them.
Johnson don’t care what happens
just so it happens to Wilson.
--o-
Many of those “good old days”
were nothing of the sort.
-o-
It is now claimed that free love
will prevail in a hundred years or
so. Too much of it already
prevailing.
hen You Write Letters
^ou ought to have the most suitable
stationery you can get, whether you’re
writing for a job, or accepting a pro-
posal of marriage, or simply sending a
long gossipy letter to a chum.
OUR STATIONERY
supply is composed of styles, tints and
weights to please a variety of tastes. It
makes writing a real pleasure. And our
prices—Your Money's Worth.
The ^OXCt£C Store
If we please you tell others—if not, tell us.
A man9*
best pat
is his smoke
"Nothing goes with me like a good story”
—Ches. Field
T?VERY Chesterfield you light begins and
Ilf ends with satisfy. For Chesterfields
set no limit on your smoking enjoyment.
Their smooth, rich, even flavor keeps right
on pleasing your taste down to the last
half-inch.
And no wonder.
The great buying organization we main-
/ ' tain in the Orient makes it possible for us
to obtain the'pick of the finest Turkish
leaf. Experts blend these tobaccos with the
best Domestic leaf; not in any hit-or-miss
fashion, but by our own exclusive process
that never varies.
And actually this process brings out hid-
den flavors and new delights that give to
this cigarette a satisfying quality all its
own. We don’t care what cigarette youi ve
been smoking, you’ll like Chesterfields
better.
E@ A HIH IT H ©I
5* . .
»
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20 for 20 cents
—and the blend
can’t be copied
i
A
/
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Shuffler, R. The Olney Enterprise. (Olney, Tex.), Vol. 10, No. 27, Ed. 1 Friday, October 24, 1919, newspaper, October 24, 1919; Olney, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1105998/m1/4/: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Olney Community Library.