The Grass Burr (Weatherford, Tex.), Vol. 73, No. 5, Ed. 1 Friday, April 8, 1994 Page: 3 of 22
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"Your hair disadvantaged parental unit sure is differently logical!"
Political correctness has arrived
There
is a cer-
t a i n
trend
develop-
ing in
this land
of ours.
Freedom
o f
speech
is beginning to lose its grip in
American culture.
What phenomenon am I speak-
ing of? Well, it would appear sev-
eral members of our society have
taken it upon themselves to di-
vide the English language into
two categories-those words which
they deem sensitive and politi-
cally correct, and those deemed
sexist, eurocentric, bullheaded
and uncaring. Words which ordi-
nary Americans unknowingly
spoke five years ago, like “man-
hole”, “old” and “fat”, must now
be replaced with the more suit-
able “person hole”, “chronologi-
cally gifted” and “horizontally
challenged.”
I, for one, realized the impor-
tance of becoming a more sensi-
tive, nurturing individual, and,
in an attempt to appear educated
and caring, opted to study up on
my political correctness. It took
long, grueling hours of heated
study, but I finally developed my
politically correct dialogue, en-
sured not to offend, provoke or
disturb anybody within a 15 foot-
radius.
In an effort to help those of you
who have not yet been exposed to
this hurt-free language, I offer
my assistance by reporting these
new changes to our vocabulary.
Below are two columns of
words. On the left are those words
which are deemed inappropriate
and non-educationally sound by
several “prominent” members of
our society. On the right is the
sensitive and politically correct
usage. Let the re-education be-
gin...
The Grass Burr
Politically Correct Handbook
Politically Correct
Insensitive
Politically Correct
she-ro, her-a
Insensitive
history
herstory
hurricane
himmicane
airhead
cerebro-atmospheric
individual
janitor
environmental hygienist
hair disadvantaged
looting
non-traditional shopping
ball boy
ball child
temporarily misoriented
body odor
nondiscretionary fra-
grance
lumberjack
tree butcher
mailman
person-person
processed tree carcass
pet rock
mineral companion
Non-goal-oriented
member of society
puppet
hand - held American
rancher
cattle murderer
metabolically challenged
snowman
snowperson, snowhuman, person
of snow, snow icon
morally different
differently logical
achieve a deficiency
vertically inconvenienced
farming
raping mother earth
white person
member of the mutant albino
genetic-recessive global minority,
melanin impoverished
person of substance,
sizeism survivor, big-
boned
person of gender, womon,
womban, womyn, woperson
woman
raping the planet’s
oceans, rivers and lakes
r
Student Scvwey
Please answer the following questions:
n
I. Do you feel that the students of Weatherford Highschool
would benefit from a type of “student advisory board” that
would work directly with the principal and other admin-
istrative personnel #
a. to solve problems, Grd€ 0/10
b. to initiate changes in policy,
c. to foster a better understanding between ,
students, faculty and the community? ( ICS /Nf 0)
2. Do you think Weatherford
High School NEEDS this type
of student board?
Circle One
(Yes No)
l_
(Please give this questionnaire to any teacher or return to the main office.)
_j
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The Grass Burr (Weatherford, Tex.), Vol. 73, No. 5, Ed. 1 Friday, April 8, 1994, newspaper, April 8, 1994; Weatherford, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1146969/m1/3/: accessed July 8, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Weatherford High School.