Collegian (Hurst, Tex.), Vol. 2, No. 15, Ed. 1 Wednesday, February 28, 1990 Page: 4 of 15
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4 Collegian / News
Wednesday, February 28,1990
Phi Theta Kappa sponsors roast of NE Dean
ROASTED--Dr. Cordell Parker introduces NE Campus Dean, Dr.
Thomas Stover, during the PTK roast. photo by Crystal Ray
“I brought these—these are
recommendations for action on
personnel,” he said. “They include
By Trey Holcomb
NE Campus News Editor
“True wisdom must comprise
some nonsense as a compromise, lest
fools should fail to find it wise.”
Dr. Cordell Parker used this
quote to begin last Friday ’ s Phi Theta
Kappa (PTK) roastofDr. Thomas P.
Stover, NE Campus dean of
instruction and student development.
“I kept searching for some
rationale for what we were doing
tonight, but from Santiana the comic,
nonsense is good only because
common sense is so limited, and I
think all those things apply tonight,”
Parker, who was master of
ceremonies for the roast, said.
PTK held the roast as a fund
raiser for its scholarship fund.
“One of the organizations that
we are most proud of on NE Campus
is PTK,” Parker said.
Although fewer than 10
students attended the roast, a crowd
of approximately 50 had been seated
by the time the first speaker, Paula
Vastine, NE student activities
director, was introduced. Vastine
described the events that occurred
when Stover quit smoking.
“He was a smoker for many
years, and I used to beg him to quit
smoking and all the nurses kept asking
him to quit. Finally he decided to do
it on his own without us, which is fine
except one of my colleagues walked
up to me and said ‘we shouldn’t have
made him quit smoking because
coughing was the only exercise he
ever got,’ “ she said.
Vastine invited the audience to
take a different look at Stover.
“I would like you to see him in
two aspects, one as he thinks he is
and one as we see him,” she said.
Vastine then directed the
attention of the audience to the back
wall of the Center Comer where a
film was shown. The film included
footage of Stover dressed as Julius
Caesar for the 1989 international
festival and a clip with him playing
Jim Bakker, and being interviewed
in prison by the church lady.
“Friends, colleagues,
countrymen I’ve come to roast S tover,
not to praise him,” Larry Bell,
associate professor of government,
said, “but before I begin I want to
also add my congratulations to PTK
for this event and I think in all fairness
to them we ought to tell you that Tom
Stover was never a member of PTK
nor Phi Beta Kappa nor Lambda Chi
Alpha nor Phi Sigma Alpha nor Beta
Chi Omega. Hell, the Baptist Training
Union wouldn’t even let him in.”
“When first asked to join in a
roast of Tom Stover, I immediately
inquired to Jeri Walton whether this
would be considered a rump roast or
a pot roast,” Bell said. “Without any
hesitation whatever, she replied it
would be something of both and said
‘he’s got a big rump and he’s gone to
pot’ “
Stover lacks organizational
skills, Bell said lightheartedly.
“Tom is not the most organized
of men. He’s not the most orderly
person you ever saw; after all he won
the Dan Echols award for creative
disarray three years in a row.
I was going to bring the trophy
to show you, but it’s lost in his office
somewhere. His office really gets to
be a mess. A couple of summers ago
he was gone and they were doing
some office painting and renovating
around here and they had to clear
everything out of his office.
Somewhere in and under all
that junk, they found a 1985 valentine
intended for Sue, two tickets for a
Texas Ranger game for July ’79, Al
Mogor’s 1980 request for a leave of
absence, a petrified roach, his ’84 tax
return and Jimmy Hoffa’s tie clip.”
Bell said.
Sue Stephens, NE student
development coordinator, then gave
her wary account of Stover.
“I was very honored when asked
to helproastour beloved Dean Stover
tonight, but I have to tell you I am
scared to death,” she said, “Mainly
where we’ll work next week.”
“Some of you should be worried
also,” she said to the panel of roasters,
“but we are going to have a job fair
March 14.”
Dr. Ray Hawkins, president of
Tyler Junior College, then gave his
remarks about S tover and introduced
a resolution.
“It’s indeed a pleasure to be
back on this campus,” Hawkins said.
“I regret that it wasn’t in better
circumstances than to roast my dear
friend Tom Stover.
"I come to you this evening not
only as president of a sister institution
but also as president of the Texas
Public Community and Junior
College Association, which is the
association of the 49 junior college
districts in the state.”
Hawkins read a mock resolution
giving a facetious account of S tover’s
career and expressing regret thatPTK
would want to honor him.
Dr. Van Parker, associate dean
of instruction on NE, remarked about
Stover's friends.
“It will please you to know that
both of his friends are in the audience
tonight,” he said.
Kirby Cox, NE science and
technology division chairman,
remarked further about Stover’s
friends.
“His only friends are Charlie
Horse, Arthur Itis and Ben Gay,”
Cox said.
Eddie Sandoval, NE associate
professor of psychology and
counselor, said many interesting
things happened when Stover became
the foreign student adviser at Texas
Tech University.
“He used to brag about this
particular student and said that he
was very bright—his name was
Manuel Noriega,” Sandoval said.
“Manuel is still doing some great
investments I understand, and Tom
is one of his biggest fans.”
Sandoval, who is an American
Indian, presented Stover with an
Indian feather making him a “real
native Texan.”
PTK president Jeri Walton
presented Stover with the “Stinky
Shoe Award” for his contributions to
the organization.
Following the award
presentation, Stover gave his rebuttal
of the roast
Overlooking Marine Creek
Lake, the new B-2 building on NW
Campus is now complete and
occupied with overflow classes from
other buildings until next semester,
when the building will be occupied
by general academic classes.
The 25,000 square foot
building has 20 classrooms, nine
faculty offices, a conference room,
words like transfer, demotion, salary
change, resignation, deceased and
dismissal. Some of them are already
filled out.”
“This is the most fun I’ve had
since the hogs ate my kid brother,”
Stover said before having the last
word roasting the panel members.
“I have some advice for all of
you who spoke tonight, and that is
get yourself a package of Preparation-
H and take the advice that’s given in
the directions,” he said.
faculty workroom and, on the upper
level, a student lounge with vending
machines.
The Optimum Room, a glass
enclosed conference and seminar
room with a lake view, occupies the
west end of the building. The room
is furnished with tables and mauve
and blue upholstered chairs and is lit
by high-tech tract lighting. The room
has the capability to seat 100-125
people, depending on arrangement
of the room.
“We wanted a nice
showplace for lectures and seminars.
We have the ability to serve meals in
there for all-day seminars,” Wayne
Wilks, director of purchasing, said.
Wilks was director of
planning during the building's
conception and construction.
“The Optimum Room is open
to the public for the art exhibits which
will be periodically displayed,” Dr.
Richard Jolly, associate dean of
instruction and student services, said.
The faculty and students
enjoy having the offices and
classrooms with a pleasant view of
the lake, he said.
Mauve and blue is the color
theme throughout the building. Along
the hallways are recessed box seating
replicating the design of the Node.
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Collegian (Hurst, Tex.), Vol. 2, No. 15, Ed. 1 Wednesday, February 28, 1990, newspaper, February 28, 1990; Hurst, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1183811/m1/4/: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Tarrant County College NE, Heritage Room.