The Alvin Sun. (Alvin, Tex.), Vol. 23, No. 14, Ed. 1 Friday, October 31, 1913 Page: 7 of 8
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THE ALVIN SUN, ALVIN, TEXAS
DOCTORS DIO
By KENNETT HARRIS
day
43
w
feel
M
I
I
SKIMPS
JOKE
BY
I
v;
1
BuyOkwL
“Of
You
It’S
necessary!
course
3
w,
J
‘ m
cost him his life.
ITHER
re-
in-
»
■ M'
CHILDREN LOVE
SYRUP OF FIGS
■ /
is worst
tae
Kfc'MUKY JU ATI KA,
| right from the patch—twist
he
something about it—Puck.
10,000,000
W. N. U., HOUSTON, NO. 44-1913.
Because of those ugly, grizzly, gray hairs. Use “LA CREOLE" HAIR DRESSING.
PRICE, $1.00, retail.
■I
You Look Prematurely Old
:1
LnJke
raur;
•pte4-
The Basement
Philosopher
But Lydia E. Pinkham’s Veg-
etable Compound Restored
Mrs. LeCiear’s Health—
Her Own Statement
I
meme VO.,
Tenn., for
bwk,
plain
Mrs. Walls Makes Public Some In-
teresting Facts Which Should
Interest All Women.
Little Story That Proves the Value of
a Thorough Understar d'ng Be-
tween Lovers
on the
although he
Australia raises nearly
acres of wheat a year.
HER STATEMENTS
DESERVE NOTICE
itholated C. ’
J—5c at all Drug Stores.
i
(
FT I.KJHTKB
Lamar, Lot* S*a_, ■«.
r X
WV
.••.S
/\ 1
•No
It
REPEATINC SHOTGUNS.
Winchester Repeating Shotguns are
not only safe to shoot, but sure to
shoot. They are easy to load or un-
load,easy to take down or put together,
and strong and reliable in every
way. That’s why the U S. Ordnance
Board endorsed them as being safe,
sure, strong and simple. Over 450,000
satisfied sportsmen are using them.
Stick to a Winchester and You Won't Get Stuck
Winches ter Cunt and Winchester Amma lition—the Red t*f
Brand—are Made tor Each Other and Sold Everywhere W
Hanford’s Balsam is used to cool
burns. Aiv.
I FOR KALE—-3,000-ACRE RANCH on I
Austin; »J miles lake front, steamboat wi
I $30,000; inter* at-b* arlnx securities accept*
1 EM S. HUGHES. AUSTIN. TEXAS.
r T«KI WO
SUBSTITUTE
ham’s Vegetable Compound. After tak-
ing two bottles I was relieved and finally
my troubles left me. I married and
have two little girls. I have had no re-
turn of the old troubles."—Mrs. CHAS.
Boell, 2650 S. Chadwick St, Phil a., Pa.
It is cruel to force nauseating,
harsh physic into a
sick child.
The fellow who casts slurs is gen- j
erally throwing a boomerang.
GIVES ME A PAIN IS TO SEE. A GUY
CIGARETTE.”
“I think,” she said, “we ought be-
fore it is forever too late, to try to
thoroughly understand eat h other. We
ought to confess any shot com ng? we
have, so that if either of us finds that
marriage might be irksome or unsat-
isfactory we may end our engagement
and escape what might otherwise be
lifelong misery.”
•‘I’m glad you suggested that,” he
answered. “I have often nought of it.
Jealousy will not listen to reason, '
because it doesn’t believe there is such 1
a thing.
Where some women are concerned ;
beauty is only enamel deep.
Backed His Statement With Money, ■
out W's Compelled to
Gem promise.
Getting Some Business.
“Is your sen. the young doctor, get-
ting any business.”
“Yes: he did very nicely during the
green apple season, and he says the
football season promises well.”
“Speaking of bantam chickens,” re-
marked Skimps, when the conversa-
tion turned to poultry, “I have a hen |
My i
myself, cannot :
i
DID DRAW THE LINE AT THAT
i LITTLE
Pain in Back and Rheumatism
i are the daily torment of thousands. To er-
fectually cure these troubles you must re-
move the cause. Foley Kidney Pills begin j
j to work for you from the first dose, and ex- j
can’t :
talk on any subject unless he knows ;
Break up
Deun’s Menth
prompt relief-
CALUMET
rfttlNG POWER
----1. v----- .. .
LLUB' i
After All, There Was Something the
Victorious Insurgents Would
Not Be Guilty Of.
PELLAGRA
I can cure PELLAGRA. Write or wire
me for proof. DR. COX, Teague, To*.
■"I am glad to d:s-
ro!invo« tno f rnrr[
my suffering and
pains. For two years
I suffered beering
down pains and got
all run down. I vas
under a nervous
strain and could not
sleep at night I
went to doctors here
in the city but they
did not do me any
good.
“ Seeing Lydia E.
r
&
NOT HELP HER,
nQ
CAUTION 1^23
See that W.I.. ~
Donslas name !•
KamiMNi on the b
ADVICE TO THE AGED
Are brings Infirmities, such as slugfftah
bowels, weak kidneys and torpid liver.
Tutt’s Pills
have a specific effect on these organs,
stimulating the bowels, gives natural action,
and imparts vigor to the whole sy tsem.
F Tea doa’t save Money when yea bay cheap *r bty-eaa bakiag aovde-. boa'* be naled. Boy CifaiiL 1
h’» more eceaowcai son whclaaama—rises baU reanlu. Cata-vet is far saperic r to «aw milk ami safe.
■
IL LEAF TOHACAMF-
____________patch—twist np—store away. Perret
post, any quantity. WOT UNVCCKT TOB. 00., XotM, a,.
JL
Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound adver-
tised, I tried it. My health improved
wonderfully and I am now quite well
again. No woman suffering from fe-
male ills will regret it if she takes this
medicine."—Mrs. James G. LeCleak.
836 Hunt St, Detroit, Mich. change.
Another Case.
Philadelphia, Pa. — “Lydia E. Pink-
"4
1
No Risk.
Doctor—-Have you any of that run-
down condition?
Patient—No. I can dodge all
autos.
ham’s Vegetable Compound is ail you
claim it to be. About two or three
days before my periods I would get ba J I
backbones, then pains in right and left |
sides, and my head would ache. I called '
the doctor and he said I had organic in-
flammation. I went to him for a while but
The cook is happyvthe
other members of the family
are happy—appetites sharpen, thinp*
brighten up generally. And CalnmeS
Baking Powder is responsible for it alL
For Calumet never fails. Its
wonderful leavening qualities insure
perfectly shortened, faultlessly raised
bakings.
Cannot be compared with
other baking powders, which promise
without performing.
Even a beginner in cooking
gets delightful results with this never-
failing Calumet Baking Powder. Your
grocer knows. Ask bin..
RECEIVED HIGHEST AWARD? /
World’s Pur® Food Exposition, Chic®go, QL
Paris Exposition, France, March, 1912.
heave a chunk of coal at a tenant be-
cause he had had his finger nails man-
icured. I don’t have my finger nails
manicured, but I can control my feel-
ings.
“I’m willing to
friend, that there
It has helped her, as
her women in the ,
Why shouldn't it .
We feel sure it
but my position has been somewhat
delicate. I could not very well be the
one to propose it.”
“Oh,” she angrily exclaimed, “then
you have been anxious to have It all
ended?”
“Why do you say that dear? I
haven’t hinted that I wishec to have it
all ended.”
“If you didn’t you wouldn’t have
thought of wanting an uneerstaeding
now. You would have bem glad to
got me and find out about my short-
comings afterward.”
‘‘Am I to assume, then, that you
have been anxious to break our en-
gagement—seeing that you have asked
r e to tell you about my failts at this
time?”
“Of course not. Why sho ild you as-
sume such a thing?”
“For the same reason that you as-
timed it.”
“That’s just like a man, I’ve never
seen one yet who could be reason-
able.”
“Very well, little girl. Lei’s change
the subject.”
‘‘But I don’t w’ant to change the
subject I want you to know all that
Texas Directory
GENERALH ARD WARE
AND SUPPLIES
Oontractors’Supplies.Buiidersf
Hardware, Etc. Prices and In-
formation furnished on request
PEDEN IRON & STEEL CO.
HOUSTON SAN ANTONIO
ELECTRIC SUPPLIES
BARDEN ELECTRIC & MACHINERY COMPAMT
111 Main ttraet. Houaton, Texas
ELECTRIC LIGHT.TELEPHONE A IGNITION SUPPUE9
McCANE’S DETECTIVE AGENCY
Houston, Texe®, operate* th® largost force «l
cotapetent detective* in the South, they rentec
written opinion* in ca*e* rat handled by th*m
Reaaonable rate*.
(Caqyrigfet, 1911. by W. G. Chapman)
j “Nels, my friend," said the janitor
ith his Scandinavian assistant, “I take
Notice that you’re a-getting gay these
<:ays. That there cap of yours is got
L tjxi small for your head and I don’t
I Ijalieve the cap’s shrunk ary at that.
I Vhat was you abusini that gentleman
Now show us those 1
eggs in that collar-box.”
“Well. I can do it if you insist, but
perhaps it may not be necessary.”
“Of course It’s necessary! You
. don’t expect to win our money with-
out proof, do you?”
“Not at all. but I merely wish to
1 observe that It was a horso-cullar-box
I put the eggs in.’
With some difficulty the matter was
compromised, and Skimps was warned
His Weakness.
She—He does not seem to be a bril- ■
llant conversationalist.
He—No; unfortunately,
even naturalized!”
janitor, with bitter
did not get well so I took Lydia E.Pir.k- whose eggs are so small that I put
three dozen of them in a collar-box I
the other day.”
“Give him the knanias club medal’” '
shouted the rest, in chorus.
“Have any of you gentlemen money !
with which to back your doubts of
my veracity?”
“I have a couple of dollars.” replied I
Gaewell.
“So have I,” added Dukane.
“Good enough! I’ll cover both of
hose bets.”
“Very well.
I GOOD MEN ARE DISSATISFIED
j Feel That They Don’t Measure Up to
Cwn Standards Every Day
in Week.
tlon is the best tonic in the world for 1
the genus, man. It keeps him from
broodir.’ on bein’ a mar—like David
Ha rum s flea-bitten dog, you know’
As long as you can find fault with i
yourself and your works, you’re alive, ;
my friend
When you get to the point where
you feel sorry for other men because
they aren’t eueb good salesmen, or i
managers, or presidents—or porters— ,
as you. then is the time for the doc-
tor to put you on a diet and prescribe
perfect quiet—to keep you from go-
ing crazy about yourself’
Don't get the glooms over self-dis-
trust. Ambition and dissatisfaction
are ha i brothers, anyway! — Ex-
been raising Ned around here for
Kk you up and tell you what I
Lit of a race of people that put
Kl® in their soup. I don t know
Hiat Fm going a little too far in
Kg you a race. You’re more like
beral procession, judging by the
■ of you that’s worked for me.
■bat's neither here dot there. We
■ all be Irish, nor yet American,
■it's a good thing as I’m a telling
■ Somebody’s got to be the goat,
■hat makes me sore, and what
Bs any right-thinking man sore,”
■anitor went on, ’ is to see some
■doing something that I don’t never
lior never thought of doing, and
Idn't do if I wanted |o do it. You
Intand that don’t apply to base-
lor var.ety show s Lunts but them's
It the only exceptions I can think
list now. You take this here golf.
It the willies now every time I
I the old woman to the park Hon-
llt takes away my appetite for the
II to see them lunatics. Seems to
lii grown person might find some-
1; better to do than to pu^ iu time
Kting a dinky little ball around a
Sty-acre lot I feel like smearing
£ fingers with molasses and giving
S a couple of feathers to play with,
at would be a sensible form of
IfemeDt alongside of golf, it looks
J to me. Some of 'em wear knee
fit es, too. Gee! What they ought to
L is Russian blouse suits with
to- collars and pretty little socks
[their pretty little legs. Fierce,
tit?
kwther thing that gives me a pain
L gee a guy a-smol ing a cigarette.
Ui something there ain’t no ex-
it {or that I can see. Anybody can
11. clay pipe, and a couple of
hti’t steady smoking’ll make it as
L> and juicy as need be. A pipe Is a
Lti smoke, though I ain’t got noob-
pntogu cigar once in a while—
jjflRfection lime. Same way IT1
I II .ub of suds when I’m dry and
j A. tTe price, but if you’re bound
I |wr treat and I happen to feel
I |1 you can give me a little rye. But
! M beer as a general thing. That’s
I thing I’U Eive the Dutch credit
I they may have a poor language
I disgusting ideas on the subject
I inking, but tl.ey’re all right when
K uiea to a steady and sensible
It Most drink is good in modera-
| though, as long as it’3 not mixed.
■ only thing I draw the line at is
Ljt. What I say is. patronize home
I itrieH I’ve no use tor Scotch or a
| who will drink it.
Re;, sir.” sai<J the Janitor, emphat-
“I’m against golf and bridge
E’and cigarettes and Scotch. Like-
El m opposed to spaghetti and cab-
E iwup and Bismarck herring and
Biuey and four o’clock tea. I'm an
■jean citisen. At the same time I
■ claim that Dagos and Kikes and
Prodigal Parent.
Col. Roosevelt, one evening in Mar-
quette, told a group of news, aper cor-
respondents a number of stories.
“If more of us were materially, but
not met tally, like the Arkansas back-
woodsmen, it would be well for the
nation,” said the colonel.
Once, while traversing Arkansas, I
<Fsmounted at a log cabin end asked
if I could have dinner. Yes, they
scid, I could, and while I waited on
the bench before the door I noticed a
baby playing with a loaded revolver.
“‘Goodness me!’ I said, ‘you
shouldn’t let that young in "ant pliy
w.th a loaded revolver. What a ter-
rible risk!’
“‘Risk?’ said the backwoodsman.
‘Aw, I dunno. I got ’bout fo teen mo’
ctillun round the place somewhere. "
THING THAT
A-SMOKIN’ A
admit. Nels, my
Chink ain’t got
white eyebrows and a complexion that
looks like It was fresh b iled. He’s got
a good deal the same cheek bones that
you ve got, but then, he t raids bis hair
and works fourteen hou-s a day and
eats rice oftener than what you do. I
know that’s aggravating ami there
ought to be a law agains. it. bit there
ain’t no law and there’s nothing iu the
rules of this here building against it,
so I guess you’ll have to staid for it.
You get me?
“Because if you don’t. Nels, my
friend,’ said the janitor, with sudden
ferocity, “I’ll beat it into your bone
head with a grate crank. Why, you
tow-topped, lop-eared, kncck-kneed son
of a smoked halibut, the f rst thing you i
know you’ll get that Chink scared and j
I’ll have to be paying out money to J
have my little bit of a week’s iaundry
done for me.
“And you not
• concluded the
■corn.
te worst about me, so that if you don't
want me you needn’t take n e.”
“AH right Tell me wha
about you.”
“I—I don’t think there ie anything
worst about me. Now tell me what
your faults are.”
“Well, I think I, too, am perfect.”
“Harold! Do you really mt an that?”
‘Certainly.”
‘Tm so glad we have had this un-
derstanding and that now' tt ere is no
danger of our making any jaistake. ’
ert so direct and t>eneficial an action in the ;
kidneys and bladder that the pain and tor- |
| meat of kidney trouble soon disappears. I
tlrnt, cough. A single dose of | Why Scratch?
Cough Dr*>ps bring® ,
di Drug Stores. ! “Hunt’sCure”isguar-
anteed to stop and
permanentlycure that
terrible itching. It is
compounded for tt
P^P0** an<l you*- money
be promptly refunded
WITHOUT QUESTION
1 Hunt’s Cure fails to cure
M Eczema, Tetter, Ring
■BajuBwl la Worm or any other Skin
Disease. 50c at your druggist’s, or by mail
direct if he hasn’t it. Manufactured only by
A. B. RICHARDS MEU1C1NE CO., Sherman, Texas
dissatisfied with
as well as their
promises, they’d be trotting around in i
a circle; and that means business dry |
rot, if anyone a«ks you.
A certain amount of self-dissatisfac-
VW. L. DOUGLAS
I $3;00 $315O S4-Q0/ —
<1 *4._5o AND $5:00
k SHOES /h
‘s FOR MEN AND WOMEN I F ;
S3 Best Boys’Shoen In the World 1 Rg
92.00, $2.b0 ana 93.U0 I J«|
X BEOAM BTTSIME8B IM \ W
. A ON $875 CAFITAL.. NOW THE \
Ji UAEGEST MAKEM OF *3 60 A
!. j«.00 SHOES IN THE WOBLD
‘A A*k yoar dealer to shew you
^•Ij.Douxla* $3.50, M.00 and *4X0
.Ji shoek. JM*t bk <ood in ntfh, St nnd >. ■ iji.
wear a* other make* eo liar *6.00 to *7.00 — the /C 1
°aly difference la th* price. Shot* in all 1 ’|[e> - k
jtQr A leathers, styles and Rhape* to suit everybody. ’IL
If you cuuld visit W. I.. l>o*x I a* large factories /
at Brockton, Mass., and we for yourself how f
A carefully W. L. Itonglas shoes are made, you
would then understand why they are warranted to
f l fit better, look better, hold their shape and w*ar longer
than any other make for the price.
If W I.. Douglas *ho>** are not for sale tn your vtclnhy,
, order dirtrr from the factory. Shoes for every u>etn- >
j t*r of 'tie famtlv, at all price*, by Parcel Poet, pottage jwq
free. Writ* for lliu»ir;iieil ( utulng. It will f-t ■
. show you bow to ord<*r by mail, and why you can 4 '
-‘1 save money on your footwear. ££2
bottom. W. I-. IH*WKl>ae, #01 Sj»art Street. Hroekte*. Hara
Detroit, Mich. — “]
cover a remedy that relieves me from
L,
•K
Look back at your childhood days.
Remember the “dose” mother insisted
on—castor oil, calomel cathartics.
How you hated them, how you feught
against taking them.
With our children it’s different.
Mothers who cling to the old form of
physic simply don’t realize what they •
do. The children’s revolt is well-found-
ed. Their tender little “Insides” are
injured by them. f
If your cbild s stomach, liver and
bowels need cleansing, give only deli-
cious "California Syrup of Figs.” Its
action is positive, but gentle. .Millions
of mothers keep this harmless "fruit
laxative” handy; they know children
love to take it; that it never fails to
clean the liver and bowels and sweet-
en the stomach, and that a teaspoonful
given today saves a sick child tomor-
row.
Ask at the store for a 50-cent bottle
of "California Syrup of Figs.” which
has full directions for babies, children
of all ages and for grown-ups plainly
on each bottle. Adv.
Leinarts, Tenn.—Mrs. Martha Walls, !
this town, makes the following
statements for publication: "I feel it
my duty to tell you what your medi-
cine, Cardui, the woman’s toaic, has
done for me.
For four (4) years I suffered ter-
ribly with womanly troubles, and 1
found no relief in different medicines
which 1 took. Finally, I began to take
Cardui, the woman’s tonic, and after
taking Six bottles I am completely
cured 1 feel like a different person
altogether. All the pains are gone,
and I am in better health than I have
’ been in for four years. Have gained
a great deal in weight.
I still take Cardui as a tonic,
husband, as well as
praise it too highly .
I hope this letter will induce other
poor, suffering women to try Cardui, I
for it is the besr. medicine in the
world for women.”
If you suffer from any of the numer- |
ous ailments so common to al! women,
t why .not take this lady’s advice, and
try Cardui? It has helped her, as
well as a million other women in the
past half century. 1
do the same for yo'j?
will.
Reading of Mrs. Walls’ helpful ex-
perience should encourage you to try
what this medicine will do for you.
Get a bottle of Cardui from your
druggist to-day. You won’t regret it.
N. R.—W^ife tn Chattanooga Medicine Co.,
Ladies* Advisor/ Dept., Chattanooga. Tenn., for
Special inetructiens on your case and 64-page book,
“Home Treatment for Women," sent in pLiin
wrapper. Adv.
Sensitlonal.
“He has written a new lay.”
’Original?”
"Yes. The heroine is a married
woman.”
‘Oh, I know. And falls in ove with
another man.’’
There s the original part of
The play shows marriage to b<
a sacred relation that some peop <
take seriously an 1 get a goo I deal o’
happiners out of.”
fi)r just nuw?—What gentleman? The
| gentleman with the laundry, the yel-
[ Ihw complected gentleman with the
I slant eyes and the baggy pants that
I Jjou was a-speaking to so unkindly.
[ ; "Chinyman. was he?” said the jani-
I tor, with a broad smile of perfect com-
■r prehension. “Well, of course that’s
■ different. If he was a Chink, I don’t
■ know as I can blame you. It’s per-
H flctly natural that you’d want to kick
■ biim off the premises, and make mo-
■*J(ons to that effect. I s’pose he give
■y*>u the excuse that be had business
■hhre—what? Thirty eight and twenty-,
^brven gives him their shirts an’ flat LEAVING THE COURSE CLEAR
^■J'-eces, don’t they? I thought they
^■i'd. Anyway you done well to let him
^»iow that be was the scum of the
M^<th and the offscourings of human-
■it" He mightn’t realize it if he was
■boated civil and decent
/‘When you come to think of it, it's a
^Mjessing that there is scum and off-
^■J'oorings for us to look down on and
^K2k around and bawl out cnce in a
^Vtrile,” mused the janitor. "We’d cer-
be in u bad way if there wasn’t.
^B‘:uess we’d lose all our self respect.
H^B-cnow you’\e done me heaps of good
^MHt way, Nels, my friend- It’s been
(*j Oil art to me after the agent
aL., and Hunkies ar-d Scandehoov
Bjfn’t *ot no right to‘ live- and 1
a feel called on tu kick ’em around
i get one of ’em off by himself.
Ifajiore than I’ 1 feel called on to
So j ou feel that you’re a failure !
■ because you don't measure up to your
own standards, every day in the
week?
Buck up, bro* her! That’s the way
all good, go-ahead men feel some-
times!
If they weren’t
their performances
No Need for More.
Giles met an acquaintance
street the other day,
artfully tried to avoid him.
’’Hello, Giles, deah boy!” exclaimed
the other. ‘So glad to see you. I’m
going to London next week. Can I i
do anything faw you?”.
“No, goings enough, thanks.” replied
Giles, moving on.—Lippincott’s.
The successful revolutionist ( for
that month) leaned back In his chair. ! . x x
"While you correBpondeat, have ,hat the next break of tho k,nd would
I been reasonably accurate In your ac- i
counts,” he remarked, “you have over-
looked some of our good points. We
acknowledge capturing the insurgent j
general, starving him a week, beating ;
him regularly, cutting off his ears and |
finally banishing him, but—”
He paused that the force of the
mark might be fully felt.
"When you say we have been
human and given to extreme cruelty,
you overdraw it. We haven’t even
t'nted at running him for vice-presi-
dent!”—New York Evening Post.
iw
SMALLEST, BEST POCKET
MADE. Seut postpaid, 25c J. H. Latu
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Bailey, Ammo. The Alvin Sun. (Alvin, Tex.), Vol. 23, No. 14, Ed. 1 Friday, October 31, 1913, newspaper, October 31, 1913; Alvin, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1250735/m1/7/: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Alvin Community College.