El Paso Herald (El Paso, Tex.), Ed. 1, Tuesday, November 28, 1916 Page: 6 of 16
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jcl. rAu jiu iLUi i uftiAL and MAGAZliNlL iAGl
uebday juv. 20 i)u.
$40 A Week For Miners
A City's Food Service
Arizona Officer For The Arizona
Ferguson And Food Prices
Short Snatches From Everywhere
Miners of the Globe and Miami district have been de-
lighted with news that the Engineering and Mining
Journal the prime authority in the copper trade gave
the average price of copper for last week at 31.917
cents per pound. The interest of the miners lies chiefly
in the fact that their scale of pay depends on the price
of copper and as a consequence their wages have been
ascending steadily. They are now taking joy in com-
puting that if copper is found to have averaged 31 cents
or more for the month of November their December pay
"ill be at the rate of $5.75 per days of eight hours in
December or $40.25 for a seven day week. This is said
to be the highest rate of wages ever paid in any mining
camp in the world. Two years ago mining camps in
Arizona took pride in stating that miners received $3.50
a day.
Though a few days of November still are left enough
of the month is past to make it certain that if copper
docs not average 31 cents for the month it will come
very near indeed to that figure and there are no signs
of a declining market On the contrary everything
points to still further advances as the demand grows
beyond the power of the mines to produce.
In this connection the Mining World says the really
strong market in copper has arrived. During the entire
period of extreme activity the upward course of prices
has been conservative. Now that consumers who have
been holding off are seeking to cover by ordering sup-
plies a premium market for copper is rapidly develop-
ing. A sale of 1000000 pounds of December copper has
been made at 30 cents a pound. Sales of spot electrolytic
have been made at 31 cents. For the first quarter of
next year business has been closed at 29zz cents and
for the second quarter at 29 cents. Casting copper has
advanced to 29J4 cents for spot and 29 cents for De-
cember. Lake copper is practically unobtainable for
nearby delivery at any price. Throughout the whole
market copper is difficult to quote prices on all de-
liveries up to the end of the first half being entirely
subject to negotiations.
The demand for nearby copper deliveries is large and
insistent. Very recently dealers and producers have
sold fully 150000000 pounds of copper. It is stated
that spot copper will sell above 35 cents a pound by
the end of the first quarter of 1917- Dealers holding
large lines of spot metal at 10 cents have found buyers
very anxious to take over this metal. A million pound
lot of February copper sold at 294 cents while several
500000 pound orders have been closed for March de-
livery at 29 cents.
With producers almost entirely cleaned out of copper
for delivery in the first quarter of the coming year the
dealers are beginning to reap the harvest- And let it
net be forgotten that the miners of the southwest are
also Teaping the harvest.
Colongne. Germany is proving to the world that mu-
nicipal feeding of large populations may be successfully
conducted for Cologne we are informed is feeding more
than 300000 persons once a day six days a week. Not
the least interesting feature of it is that the cost to the
individual is about 50 cents a week. The meals are raid
to include meat vegetables and other foodstuffs in -such
variety as the limited supplies of Germany mane avail-
able. At the Tatio thus established it would cost about
$1.50 a week for three meals a day for an individual
under the municipal feeding plan or for a family of
fonr $5 a week. How many families of similar size in
El Paso are spending as little as $6 a week for food plus
the fuel used to cook it and not including the labor
which goes into preparing it for the tabic? Possibly
some families are. but whether the food is as varied as
nourishing and 33 abundant in quantity is open to
question.
For some years writers have been predicting the com-
ing of the day when community kitchens would solve
many of the problems of living. Cologne has gone a step
further by establishing the municipal kitchen. The
community plan contemplated centrally located dining
rooms much like restaurants where subscribers would
gather at mealtime. Cologne delivers the food steaming
hot at the door so the family may enjoy its own din-
ing room and maintain the family privacy.
Such an arrangement would doubtless be welcomed
by housewives everywhere removing from them a bur-
den of labor and responsibility in the preparation of
meals or in the case of those able to afford servants
ending the troublesome servant problem.
It would have its drawbacks too one of them being
that everyone's menu would be about the same and the
individual would have little choice in the matter. In
Cologne the individual or the family now has no choice.
The menu is fixed and limited but in more prosperous
times it might be enlarged so that some choice of viands
might be made.
Cologne has taken up municipal feeding as an economy
measure made necessary by the war. Perhaps it may
continue in time of peace. At any event the experiment
which Cologne is successfully conducting is engaging
the world's interest.
With the display of a bit more sentiment than usually
characterizes a branch of the government the navy de-
partment has assigned as one of the navigating officers
of the new superdreadnought Arizona an Arizona youth
Lieut. Harlow T. Kays a fine young officer whose boy-
hood home was in Phoenix who graduated from the
Phoenix high school and from the United States naval
academy followed the flag almost all over the world and
is now completing an assignment in charge of eight naval
recruiting stations on the Atlantic coast. Perhaps the
navy department is not to be credited with the senti-
ment for Lieut. Kays applied to be assigned to the
battleship bearing the name of his home state.
Arizona has three young naval officers all of vtbom
might be glad of assignment to the new superdread-
nought. They are Lieut. Kays his brother Lieut. Com.
Herbert E. Kays and Lieut. Arthur S. Dysart. One
might go so far as to express the wish that one of the
three might some day command the Arizona were it
not for the fact that the ship now the best of her class
in the world will be for the navy's purposes ready for
the scrap heap before any of them reaches his captaincy.
The Ukulele
Why should a despondent motorist attempt suicide?
All he needs do is to try to beat the train over the
crossing
o
Many an invalid finds the. tonic not in the medicine
but in the bill.
o
New Mexico millionaires are being made out of beans
beef and broomcom.
Hawaii following the lead of the mother country the
United States is in the midst of a manufacturing boom
with the ukulele as the chief product an article less-
deadly than war munitions and less high priced than
flour and women's boots. The popularity which Ha-
waiian music has achieved in this country is responsible
for the making of ukuleles on which this music may be
played or which may be used for purposes of accom-
paniment. The ukulele is a guitar which never grew up. It pro-
duces a melodious groan just as the Hawaiian steel gui-
tar produces a musical whine. It is easy to manufacture
and easy to play which accounts perhaps for some of
its popularity.
String in string with the ukulele goes the "Hawaiian"
song a missionary's hymn elaborated syncopated and
generally disguised and full many a man and girl are
doing yeoman service in trying to master these songs
of the islands who never sang a good old gospel hymn
in their lives.
Fine business for Hawaii while it lasts. Only if it
grows and lasts much longer there is danger that Con-
necticut will soon be making most of the genuine Ha-
waiian ukuleles to the detnment of Honolulu.
o
The net result of the Atlantic City conference is that
it is agreed Gen. Pershing's troops are to leave Mexico
sometime provided that conditions now growing worse
as fast as they can do not become worst.
If correctly quoted in stating he opposes any reduc-
tion in food prices for the reason that it would be to the
detriment of the farmers Gov. J. E. Ferguson displays
somewhat less good sense than the state has a right to
expect from a governor.
Texas has nothing but good will for its farmers or for
the farmers of any state. The people of Texas want
the farmers to receive such prices for their crops as will
net them good profits. But there is no reason that aU
the rest of the people should suffer m order that the
profits of the farmers should not be reduced. Even il
there were no middlemen whose profits might be pared
with benefit to the consumer and without injury to the
farmers if there were only the farmer and the con-
sumer to consider it would be only fair to suppose that
a middle ground between prices too high for the con-
sumer and too low for the farmer might be found.
Prices on most food commodities are so high as to be
a decided burden on nearly every family not producing
its own foodstuffs. Why should they remain so rathet
than run the risk of lowering if ever so slightly the
profits of a minority?
Gov. Ferguson's statement sounds demagogic. Had
he said: "I am opposed to lowering the prices of cotton
piece goods for the great mill companies would receive
smaller profits; do not reduce the prices of steel imple-
ments or the United States Steel corporation will have
to reduce its annual dividends" the governor's political
career would end with the exniration of his term of
office. He could never again be elected. Yet his pur-
ported statement telegraphed from Austin is of pre-
cisely the same tenor favoritism for the few as against
the many.
The farmers certainly are not feeling the high cost
of living. Producing most of what they consume and
bartering a small part of their produce for the remain-
der why should they feel the pinch when receiving the
highest prices ever paid for crops?
An Arizona farmer said to an El Pasoan not long
agor
" 'Mother and I read of the high cost of living but we
don't know what it means. It never touches us. It
seems something far away a topic for academic discus-
sion merely something intangible and far distant not
something touching harshly the lives of millions. We
go on from year to year selling the bulk of our produce
to the wholesalers raising nearly everything we need
and placing a little of our crops here and there among
the retailers just to keep a cash balance to our credit
at the grocery stores so we may buy what we want
and never pay out cash."
It's fine for the farmer such a condition as that and
none of us envies him his good fortune. But there is the
other side to the question.
New Tork's only hope is to move west- Columbia
State.
California certainly gives great national exposi-
tions. Brooklyn Eagle.
Woodrow also seems to hale received some rural
credit;. Indianapolis Star.
After all. Shadow Lawn found its place in the sun.
SJ. Louis Globe Democrat.
Mr. Hughes realizes the fact that the report of bis
election was greatly exaggerated. Florida Times-
Union. Few men can nave followed the returns with more
complicated emotions than Col Roosevelt. Springfield
Republican.
The policv of appointing Democrats to office will
be continued" despite Mr. Hughes's objections. Florida
Times-Union.
Thirteen electoral votes in a doubtful state are
luckier than ballot No. 13 in a voting booth. New
York Morning Telegraph.
California oted for "He kept us out of war."
although It Is the most likely state of all to get him
into war Indianapolis Star.
The future of Austria-Hungary looks dark to the
lndon newspapers But the new emperor does not
seem in the least discouraged Dallas Times-News.
The first cargo of wheat from Argentina ha
arrived in Galveston. If It succeeds In headipg off the
7 -cent loaf It will be nelcome. Will it? Austin
American.
"There Is big motiev in a good mine. ' says an
advertisement. Ves. but the trouble is it stays there
or else the other fellow digs it all up. You never
get it. Austin Statesman
The Democratic 4onkj appears to have been bred
in the mint beds or BourLon Kentuck) and 'A HI re-
fuse to pull the water wagon at the. behest of Mr.
Bryan. Memphis Commercial-Appeal.
Miss Rankin makes her own clothes and hats and
she is also an excellent cook. Missoula Mont dis-
patch. If the news sets round the Hor Jeannette
Rankin will not serve many terms in congress New
York Sun.
In granting rollsb Jews the right of self-government
in religious matters the Germans are pushing the
Russians very hard in the matter of concessions to
the Poles. Between her rival benefactors Poland nay
yet be given real freedom and not asked to pay for it
in military service. San Francisco Ca-onlcle.
We don't intend to dispute the election returns
from the Rio Grande but a rumor is spreading that
an eminent paragrapher who was supposed to be In-
valided with gout was really laid up with chlggers
caught on a fishing trip so you never can believe
what they say in Texas. Boston Dally Advertiser.
The idea that Texas is a big ranch and people
are wild and wooly still exists in some parts of the
country and this was Illustrated the other day when
two women from the effete east delegates to the
U. D. C. asked to be assigned homes on a cattle ranch
while attending the convention. Sherman (Texas)
Democrat.
T
Roundabout Town
Get An Interest In Tke B
Young' M
an
Banke
"W:
?
r s
Ad
vice
usroess x oung
To Boys Vho Vould Succeed.
A. MARTI.
HAT would you advise a
poor boy to do 'starting out
in lifer I asked Alfred
Kerr. - :ce president and manager of the
EI Paso Bank and Trust company. We j
were discussing the Boy Scouts and
bojs generally and I knew that Alfred
tated to work :tt JO a munih and that
ii v a
day. Economy jars most of us. but we
have to embrace it or bankruptcy thee
'as of Democratic prosperity and war
time prices
A movement that should be of much
interest to El Paso and the entire
southwest and one that ought to be en-
louraeed in this region the mecca of
t so many tuberculosis victims has been
he didn't have a silver spoon in his i started" in the eountri In order to in
uiouth until he put it tltere hm.elf
aet an interest in the business." he
srswercd vehemently and without
hesitanrt "A man must get an interest
n whjt he is v.oikirg for He neer
gets ahead verv much working for other
r-tople Gel an interest m the busiues-s.
pien if it is smalt and "trivc all the
time to pet a bigger interest. A man
cannot do his best until he knows that
he is working for himself; that what he
is making is eoing at least in part to
himsel'
"I worked for the Frost bank in San
Antonio for 12 years and I got increases thorough! Drink plentv of pure water
in salarv 12 times but I had to quit
mv Job 12 times to get them. Every
time I asked for a raise. I was refused
and then I quit. I was always rein-
stated and given the increase. Then I
derided that it was time to set out for
myself. th?t if I was valuable enough
to the firm that they would hire me
back at more money every time I quit. I
ought to be valuable to myself. I set
out and organized a bank but it was
mv first venture and I had to get a lot
of small stockholders in. About all I
had in the institution was a salary a
l'ttlo bigger than the one I left in San
numio
'I saw a chance to organize another
bank. aid. with what little money I had
saved I bought some stock and then
demanded a certain amount of stock
for myself for organizing the institn-
t on. I got It. The bank is still operat-
Tie and T am interested in it: it was
'he stepping stone for our EI Paso
bank. Here I put in the -money I saved
i mv second bank venture and got
acme more stock for organizing the in-
stitution Now when 1 make a dollar
for the bank I feel that I am making
something for Kerr. It is the only way
or a bm starting out without means
to get ahead In life. '
:-
Another of The EI Paso Herald s
popular features is to be dramatibed.
'Bringing Up Father" has been on the
stage fo- several years and has made
us promoters a lot of mon-v Now "The
Katzenjahher Kids." those two gay
iiltle fellows -who tiae delighted the
kiddies and grown ups who have
watched their funny antics in the
pages of the comic supplement of The
Herald and other leading papers of the
country are to be dramatized. Hans and
Frits will be made the central figures
in a big musical comedv that will be
produced around the Christmas holi-
days bv a new producing firm. Gazzolo.
Gatts and Clifford all widely known
theatrical producers. When the foot-
ligbting of "Katzenjammer Kids" takes
place all of the characters that have
made the cartoons famous will be
placed on the stage and there will be
a big chorus of girls of course in this
newest of cartoon musical comedies.
"Now. youns man. it is not well to
drink too much." Victor Moore is said
to have been telling a young acquain-
tance as they stood near the brass rail-
ing. "When you have had enough quit."
he continued. "Now. take those two fel-
low standing over there. When they
look like four men to you then you
have had enough."
"There's only one man there. Mr.
Moore" said the oung man who was
receiving the admonition.
w 4
"Economy jarn ' said a sign I saw on
something in a china store the other
terest the 28.W000o school children of
the Lnited States in the aiiti-tubercu-losis
campaign the bos and girls will
be orennized into "modern health cru-
saders" a new society being formed
under the direction of the National
Association for the s-tudv and pi.ven-
tion of tuberculosis and announced in
a bulletin just issued nvery boy and
girl must promise to try his best to
keep the following rules-
"1. Always breathe fresh air. Never
studv. work nor play in a room without
a window open. Take ten deep breaths
Cverv daj .
:. Eat nourishing food and chew it
Dick Evans s idea of "When a Ft Her
Needs a Friend": When jou take itiur
girl to a movie theater with 2 cents
in onr jeans and discover that the 25-
cent sign is hanging over the box
otiice.
Real politeness .Motorist tipping his !
hat to a traffic officeiHuman nature: Criticisiri the man I
in office.There i.- good in all bail m i . nl bail !
in all good men. It is not new but it's '
true.
I
The truth is nsuallv oii surihm I
when a man is broke and hungrv. but
we never know so we seldom believe.
A man explained the election of "S ll-
son. in a conversation todai by dc- I
ciaring mat "mere are more Dimmi-
crats than Americans in the United
States."
Rogwallow Locals
By GEOBGE BINGHAM
a.'- I A balloon ascen-
.. .islon Saturday was
'-- 2 I I -11
CUJUCU UJf AU
those rjrescnt-
After going up for
2 few hundred
feet the man eased
himself back to
earth in a para-
chute so that he
could go cp again
some time.
Sim Flinrler
as called to the Calf Ribs neighbor-
hood this week to sit on a coroner's
jury. Sira says ifhe keeps on he win
be oss of the biggest politicians hi
Kentucky.
A. moving picture is only curtain
deep.
CefiymMl by brcrgc Mnttmne Adams
and use vour own cup. Avuid food that
Is hard to d-gest like heav v pie and
cake and murh candv Nev er eat nor
drink anything that weakens the body
like alevholic drinks.
"Z Make sure that everything you
put in our mouth is clean. Wash jour
hands always before eating and batho
our whole body often. Clean your
teeth every day Have a regular time
every day for attending to each need
of Mur bodv.
"I. Exercise every day in the open
air. Keep vour shoulders straight. Do
not smoke before you are grown up.
"."- Get a long night's sleep. Get up
smiling. Keep your inind clean and
cheerful."
Pretty good religion for all of us.
What Is the difference between an
old man and a grasshopper? Charlie
Brann says the stenographer told him
there was none: that the chickens get
both of them.
Things that never happen. Demo-
cratic candidate for office failing to
mention to nis auaience tna ne was
taugh
racy upon
granodadd
-S
Well known signs: If you hang y
socks out the window before ret
and they are damp in the raornin
can rest assured that it has rained
ing the night.
miuv.viki:e iAiirns increased.
Milwaukee. Wis.. Nov. IS. Salary in-
creases approximating $166690 a year
were authorised for city employes Mon-
day night Li- the common council. The
increases affect employes drawing J17W
a year or less. Firemen and policemen
are included.
The ordinary cost o a Want Ad la
Tho CI Paso Herald is 25 cents I
reaches an average of about 100.009
eaders each Issue.
jfe&eOfci
p )Q!iC(
3&k( I rftcll ii gr
Little Interviews
States Has Humiliated
T" x -r r-r"
.District Is I oo
Says United
El Paso s Business
"i
M
exico
It seems like aviators jest last till
they git famous. Men may look fur-
ther ahead these days but not as high.
(Coprnxht Nif-orut NswssxBtr Strvlc.)
JtMCS I'llKMUENT I'RO TEM.
Washington D. C. Nov. :S. Senator
Ollie James is being mentioned by the
early arrivals among the Democratic
senators for president pro tempore of
the senate to sueceed tho late senator
Clarke of Arkansas.
J The Safe Driver
ALONG the street I drive my car my rate of speed is safe and slow. I pull
up where the children are and give pedestrians a show. Some day pedes-
trians will be by statute from our highways cast for any candid man must
see that they're a nuisance first and last. But since they are permitted here ia
spite of motorists appeals I hold it wise my car to steer so they won't get be-
neath the wheels. I watch the street where'er I go and dodge all live stock gone
astray and toot my horn that men may know my juggernaut is on the way. The
road mlpe T have all tiu heart T lim 41a .lAln V1...J 1... i-. a
v.... .m. . w i -- "j .. .. miu mc "uuic uiauicu ui tummcie ana na
'thTkne? otwfmr hilSS ""i? ever sef?my " uPon th v. side of the street. And while I exercise
ine Knee ot nis gray haired such whlIe modestly my ;0tor humS( a!ong the teeming thoroughfare some
I uumy lut-jcu speeu Ian comes tie Knouts tne sawdust trom some gent who hasn't
uui-1 iixuc 10 iiimD a tree ana men. witnout or witn intent he ism ni car riirhr ;nn
iring I rrtP T Mr Vrhen frrtm tVi dfemal rrAl- 1 "limit ..3 -....I:-. it.. i ui-t
" vou i Z . . . """ ".' """ ..... viiiuu duu iuuic mc wui5i ice man
dur- vao Ss it in tne necK is ne wno swears by satety First!"
Copyright by George Matthew Adams. WALT MASON. I
ARDENTLY wish that the puni-
tive expedition would abandon my
country as soon as possible for
the tranquility of our national spirit."
said Alberto S. Diaz collector of cus-
toms at Juarez. "I do not recognize
nor do I concede to the government of
the Unit- d states any rights but that
of the strongest to meddle in our -interior
politico nor to invade our terri-
tory for 3n trivial cause Such con-
duct ould not be approved by any na-
tion of the world. My country has al-
ways had it doors open to everybody
without an distinction of race and
we Mexicans ortn our arras to all for-
eigners and always receive them with
frank hospitalit offering them the
wealth of our land. "No country in the
world has benefited as much as tbe
United States from our commercial re-
lations and the exploitations of our na
tural resources. All foreign capital
finds In my country an open and ex-
Small
been lUck .S a eitv" haffl rnnntv tar SnnHav gffmnim T n- .... ;.
collector Itichey. Somehow or another. I number of friends on the new concre- . I
we have always managed to escape! road above the city and which I cod- -I
those things which usually hit a city
between the business eves so to sneak.
and we have always managed to slide
eider one of the best roadways In the
south." said R. N. Wright "Concrete
roans are largely used In California.
by -v ery nicely. It may be luck and it while there is also a species of wooJ
VV V i ""L oroleclln or a Divine ; that is being used there. The concrete
Providence but anyway we do. Take road makes a hard even surface that
(SL nanee' J?8' the last few years will not wear down and is much easier
..n he trouole became most serious ; repaired than the asphalt paving '
in Mexico a few years ago. El Paso did
not surfer from the paralyzine of busi- I "It is surprising how many tourists
news from which many of the border en route through EI Paso stop in the
rt'iJL?ii-t0.r "Z"".' Thank3 to city and spend a few days attracted b
i.J0J?tlon 'J did hr'ving business its wonderful prosperity." said C D
with the people across the border sell- I Wheeler. "I have occasion to spe id
; ":;; w1 - w. ... n.- uunc . on. ot nine ax ne union statton
rlViHifJ ?j!ln affarf in that unhappy and naturally notice the larj?e traffic!
-'. uvuuiuu tauicr.
people drin
:e. many of their I It is also astonlshmar to no hn? mrtv
ODt DV thft flr-hHrif I rvfa-trtl -.m a am In . :. n n
. .1. I.1 er- ci?me to onr y and is factories also as Judging from the
made their homes here renting homes remarks made this mte cit i. n.
anu oiiices ana onn'rln?' ariri.ri nm.
cerity to us. Then when things began I
w oiiuv a. iQiiurnev to orop oacK almost
to the normal we enjoyed the coming
of the militia and the increased mun-
u-cr m regulars on border dutv. All of
tensive field. Every company andasso- these things meant added business and
L-iauua. ery lureisn buojeci espe- ; mvreaaea aovertising tor EI Paso and
cially the North American has always for these things we should be truly
enjoyed the best guarantee even priv- I thankful."
ileges that we Mexicans have not had. !
Notwithstanding this the United ! "The reason why business propertv
States has unjustly humiliated us. first. I rentals are not low in Bl Paso is that
in Vera Cruz and after on this fron- I too much business is being done in
tier with its so-called punitive expe- ! n area too confined." said Edward
ditlon. contrary to the wishes of mv ! Rosenbaum. "Everybody wants to get
government presenting to the face of i a olace in the comparatively small
tho world the hor ible spectacle of the I business section and tne town is trow-
-a4.i nt i.f..w T UA.. K...i1sn.J ' iniT tOO fast for that Ther. mfar r..
greatest of Injustices. I sav humiliated
because the armed invasion of a pow-
erful country against another weaker J
one tacitly implies a humiliation that I
can be repaired only in tbe same man-
ner. and the stain washed with blood j
We have suffered and borne it pa- j
tiently. The government of the United j
States tv ill never1 be aole "to v indicate
itself before history nor will she be j
able to justify herself before the j
world for its inexplicable conduct. But !
I do not blame the people of that coun- I
try. l'eople that 1 admire lor their
intelligence and indnstriousness. I
blame its government which I judge
vacillating in the case of Mexico. Al-
though I hope that the government of
that great nation will recognize its er-
ror and will perform an act of strict
and elevated justice by withdrawing
from Mexico its punitive forces. I
do not wish to give any official char-
acter to my words which express only
my personal opinion."
"Do you know. EI Paso always has
a spreading out'"
the most widely advertised in the coun-
try. Many large amounts of monex is
left in the city by tourists as El Paso
is the natural southern gatewav be-
tween the east and the west.""In a resolution passed by the oj -cil
durinc the sesquicentennial celebra-
tion held in 1907. the proper spelling
of the Pennsylvania city Is P-i-t-t-s-b-u-r-g-II-"
said W. F. Parkin oj
Pittsburgh. Pa. "The nostofflce m.-
j thorities have sanctioned this form to
tKo . I.. ....... .l- ..-- .
i" lh 49 UVW lilt! UIILCI21 sneiiiniT.
This orthography was adopted in order
to distinguish the Pennsylvania city
irom ine otner towns or the same na e '
throughout the country. There was
considerable discussion over the Ques-
tion at the time."
MATRIMONIAL FABLES
o
The Amiable Wife of the Fortunate Man.
HV DOHOTHV MX.
INDOOR SPORTS
LISTENING TO
AX ALIBI.
Copyrisht 1315 International News Servlee. Rcclstertd United states Patent Oftlc.
Wmmm "" m --" ittm ass rzr.
SUJr hovj trwAr TrfAr- Mfk&Z '"'eS&giBJjEJ "
vou GcT the 00 St 'A. "i ' '
L 1
NCE upon a time there was a
Fortunate Man who was the
Happy Possessor of a Wife who
was- a Model of all of the Domestic
Virtues.
She was alwavs Amiable and Pleas-
ant. Sh. wore Simple and Inexpensive
Frocks without Knvying the Women
who were Dolled up in Pans Confec-
tions. Her House was always as Neat
as a New- Pm and her Dinners were
Things to be Eaten on your Knees.
Observing this Peerless Creature
alt of the other men were filled with
Wonder and Amazement and. going to
the Fortunate Husband. thev thus
addressed him:
"We have got to H?nd it to vou."
th.j said "is the Great and linap-
proachaalr Wife Tamer but if ou
have no patent on the Secret Process
pray tbee. tell us how it is done for
we have Lambasted Our Wives for
their Tempers and their Extrava-
gance and their Bad Cooking until
we have worn ourselves to a Frazzle
ind all that we have gotten for our
i'aius has. been a spell of Hysterics
that we had to Quiet with Trips to
Atlantic City and New Hats and other
Remedies."
"our Mistake." replied tbe Fortu-
nate Husband "has been that ou did
not know that a Woman can be muni
anywhere but she cannot be Driven an
. inch Also you forget that Women
will Eat up Praise by the Barrel but
( that Blame Slides off them Hke Water
' off a Duck's Back Without Touching
Them.
" hen I married I found to ray sur-
prise that my Bride possessed a Ta-
basco Temper and a Double Action
Tongue but instead of Knocking her
for being a Virago I began telling her
that the Expression on her Face was
so quiet and Serene that It Reminded
me Continually of the Mona Lisa
tniie. nd ehe does not now dare to
Chaplin it means that he has to Pay
for a New One. Therefore I am ne er
Uuilty of this imbecility.
"On tbe contrary when I observe a
Woman with an Imported Dress o x
that looks as ir it had cost Real Mone.
I call my Wife's attention to It. at 1
tell her what a Monstrosity It is an
bow much more Becoming and In Bet-
ter Taste her Own Gown Is. Bu I
add. it takes a Woman with Real Stv e
and Distinction and a Perfect F.guro
such as you possess to Carry off Sim-
ple Clothes.
"My Wife was Originally a poor
Cook with Delicatessen Learnings; bur
instead of Finding Fault with the
trooa i would merely eayr TJf course
this dish Is Nice Enough but you have
Spoiled me with your Superlative
Housekeeping so that my palate wll!
not endure anything but the Best
"Thereupon my Wife would apol-
ogise all over the place and get Busy
with the Cook Book trving to make
Good on the High Ontnion that s i
thought that T Entertained of her Cu
marj Ability."
Moral i ThU fable traehM that It i
i:ay Hnoujth to Manage a Ita lt
you oe the right System.
ASK FOR BIDS FOR GATES
FOR RIO GRANDE PROJECT
The reclamation service is asking for.
proposals for furnishing cast iron gat
and gate stands for the Rio Grande
project in New Mexico and Texas
About 12 tons of metal work will be
required. The gates are to be usea
in connection with the Percha dlve--sion
dam. Rmcon vallev
The bids will be opened at the office
of the reclamation service at Denver.
Colo.. Dec. 20.
WA.T BIDS FUR GEiBS. i I
The United States r..l:imAtfnn sr t . v
i asking for proposals for fur"ISEu. .-
nine nairs ftl" i-n.T irnn L-u tievel . i -
get Jngry for ftar of Breaking up her ; tor ate stinda fo- the Rio Gra-.de
project in New Mexico and T-"cas
Bids vmII be -p.ned at the Washi-
ton office of the reiljmation service
Dee 26.
Angel Face.
"When a Hu-banJ Bat- his Wife s
Freak Dress or tells her that her latest
Hat looks like a Creation by Charlie
EL PASO HERALD
DEDICATED IO THE SERVICE OF THE PEOPLE TTI VT NO GOOD CAOE
err t v v v . f-tr . riiiMninv a-m rav rw --.. t . w w a
?".. u.i.. .. ljiajii ii- ..& iii.il cviu zi.i.ij ri I
.. .. ...j ..' lurruaiiu.
II. I). Slater editor and controlling owner ba directed The Herald for IS yeani
. J. ' Yfllmarth l itauager and G. V. Martin l Xevr Editor.
MI.MIiER ASSOCIATED PRESS. AMERICAN NEWSPAPER PUBLISHERS'
ASSOCIATION. lD 4UDIT BL'REAP OF CIRCULATIONS.
AN INDEPENDENT DAILY NEWSPAPER The El Paso Herald was established
in March. ISS1. The El Paso Herald includes also by absorption and suc-
cession. The Daily News. The Telegraph. The Telegram. The Tribune. The
Graphic. The Sun. The Advertiser. The Independnt. The Journal. The Re-
publlcan. The Bulletin.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION Daily Herald per month. 60c: per year 17 0.
Wednesday and Week-End Issuts will be mailed for 82 00 per year ' .
THIKTT-SIXTH YEAR OF PUBLICATION Superior exclusive features anS
omplete news report by Associated Press Leased Wire and Special Corre--pom-eiUt
lOiTiir Arirom New Mexico vi t Tera". MeTteo Was'ng-
!! P " jr. I m Tuik i ntered ..t the r.itiiri--e in I ' T -r Texas
.-f 1.U1111 t I s Mittet.
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Slater, H. D. El Paso Herald (El Paso, Tex.), Ed. 1, Tuesday, November 28, 1916, newspaper, November 28, 1916; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth138494/m1/6/: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; .