The J-TAC (Stephenville, Tex.), Vol. 17, No. 29, Ed. 1 Tuesday, April 27, 1937 Page: 3 of 4
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THE J-TAG
PAGE THREE
AMPUS
eyhole
Tarleton Avenue was well tra-
versed last night, for
lost affections the students were
chattering- what they did, whom
they saw, and above all, how sweet
the old boy friends or girl friend
was.
About the old boy friend Dixie
says that all she and her boy friend
did was fuss then turn around and
make up.
All the people in Houston wanted
to know if Richard Weyrick had
been tapped on the head. No, that
love bug has bitten him—and how!
Back Booger Bryant's Bunch
CHAS. BROWN
for
BUSINESS MANAGER OF
J-TAC
"Experience Personified!"
Just watch that Bryant-Weyrick like a family reunion the way all
race.
Yes sir, Mr. Hallmark, I would
be ashamed to go to another town
and break a sweet girl's heart.
You must be a pretty good talker
or something to overcome a girl's
heart in low days. Is it right that
Phyllis Smith Rounds a lot better
of these old steadies are getting
back together.
Somkey. are you doing pretty
good with this little town girl I
heard ho much about? Why don't
you bring her up here occasionally
so that we mi^ht. get a chance to
meet her—and I believe her name
than Hortelle Goodwin? Anyway, is Lucille, isn't it?
Jim Carvigan's head-
week's | Hortelle
ache.
Jack Hune, could you not find
any girl friends. I believe you tried
every town you came into to find
a girl. I guess it takes something
more than a uniform.
Why did Herman Poe, Ted Nor-
Cross Drug Store
Appreciates Your Business
Sylvia, what were you and Mary
doing with Harry Hawthorne last
night? Harry is a sweet boy,
though, isn't he ?
Oh, long will Corpus Christi re-
member Bill Lentz. Especially
parts of Corpus.
Halbcrt Felkcr, Shropshire's man
wood, Harry Hawthorne, and Curlv j Frida>r' rcal,y lost a lot of s!eeP
Rutledge get up about three o'clock 'in San Antonio. I' bet Bill Wal-
last Saturday night a week ago ?
Boys, that sounds funny to me.
Come on, tell everyone ust why you
got up.
Yes, Colonel "Don" Ready slip-
ped a notch last night. Dorothy,;
you had better take care of those
diamonds.
Clardy, how is this Duff girl?
And what were you and Key doing
in Rotan ? You had best be care-
ful, because you are a politician.
Boren, I heard you found you a
real good buddy while you were
away. And very friendly too. yest,
very, very friendly, I might say.
It looks as though Lorenzo Rig-
gins is breaking the ice. Someone
told me that he took Mary Funk-
houser to the club lake Sunday.
You had better watch these girls,
Lorenzo; they are not easy to get
along with and they might just
need a pass to the lake.
Where did I see you last night,
Fred Cromwell ? It really looks
i lace was really embarassed when
I he ml.) that boy whom he wanted,
too.
My lover he hez went away;
My lover h« hez went to stay:
He can't cum to me;
Me can't go to he;
It will nevur wuz;
Don't it awful ? . . ,
City Salesman
(A Short SLory)
I wu?, down to the fort the othurj His Highness, the mayor, was
nite and while I wuz there I herd' sleeping at his desk, his feet prop-
my friend, Jarvis Key, a tawlking pec] high and his mountainous
abowt Tinker: "He plays feetbawl; framc relaxed in a ^eel-bound
gud and he plays basketbawl swell,' > .
j l. • „ chair, reposing m a state ot peace-
sez he, "but. they do say he s sol „ n z\ , , . , ,
:ful slumber when his daughter,
! Abigal, appeared. She entered like
breath cf wind, her cornflower
tight thet he put off buying him
a world atlas til world afairs are
a littul more settled."
Which seems to me to be pretty e ('Pen'
darn ee.onomistical. Then, as we: "Papa!"
wuz tawlking, sumwon yelled frum The mayor blinked. "Eh?"
owtside, "Any old clothes fur the: "Papa, for goodness' sakes, wake
ragman 1 Any old shoes? ;np! There's a city salesman down
suppose your banker has intelli-
gence enough to know good money
when he sees it."
Tht> village banker was myopic in
in addition to being somewhat deaf.
When the trio entered, he regarded
the stranger curiously and took the
bills handed over by the sheriff.
After turning them over one at a
time, the banker pushed them back
through as though the matter were
closed.
"They're good."
The sheriff gasped and the mayor
on the square selling five dollar jturne,i PurP,e with ra^e"
The Gentleman.
? Any old shoes?"
"No," 'yells Joe Parish, "this is
the fovt." ^bills for three doliars'a,id seventy-! "This y0UIls' s<Iu'rt was <Iow" on
And thet set Joe down pulenty. . , | nitK, centK_ jthe square trying to sell them for
My advise eolyum this week is! "Which'" three dollars and seventy-nine
| PITCHERS |
| The othur day I got to thinking
! abowt all the things a gurl is
always doing to hold the hard to
hold, and 1 thunk up sum advice
jest fur girls. Here it is:
BACK BOOGER BRYANT'S BUNCH
VOTE FOR W. A. SANDERS
For ASSISTANT BUSINESS MANAGER OF J-TAC
"An Eye For Business"
FOR MOTHER'S DAY, MAY 9
Send her the gift she will treasure most, the one that only
you con give—YOUR PHOTOGRAPH
BAXLEY'S STUDIO
Don't go with a guy to reform
him; that what the reform schools
are for.
Don't keep a man guesing to
long; he's sure to find out sumwher
eltz.
Be amiable; he duzn't like to be
cossed and dubblecrosed.
Look yer best; who sez love's
blind ?
If you'll follow these bits uv help-
ful advise, yew'll hev the best
chanse to hold yer man.
I herd Gene Morgan and C. D.
Nichols a-tawlking the othur day,
and I caught this little return. Lil
Burns wuz walking past them, and
Gene looks and sez: "Gosh, her
neck's dirty."
And C. D. cum back: "Her duz?"
By the way, I,U hez been singing
the blews abowt her honey at home,
and here's a poem thet I'm sure
she'd like:
only fur agronomy students, and, «Fivc d()]lar bj]ls for sevp]>
won't do nobudy altz any gud: tynine!" Abigail said.
Tho mayor's small, beady eyes
Dear Pitchers. popped open, and he sat up so
My teechev ask mo the othur slldficnty that al[ hip wits wor(1
day fur a short difinishun. uv won 1 jamd into aetiop
Well, I guess I'll
uv these wooly caterpillars. I no ,<jIe
yew have so many definishuns yew show him & m. twQ j,,, put
can't do them all, but can t yew ]fiw j wj^
please think uv won fur me". he takc folkg forj anyhow? Where's
"iers desperately, 'Silas?"
Roy Mefferd. Silas, the sheriff, was found
Deal Roy. swarmino* varnij in the back of
Tho I do have lots uv definish-
swapping yarns in
Turner's grocery. He emerged, on
uns, your's caught my eye. so I thfi 8Ummong of the mayor> ready
thunk up an answer for it first: A ■ t0 c,m.y out hjs officia] duty Th0y
caterpillar is an upholshcred worm. found thc sa]esm£m talkinff glibly
ers' . ! from a platform on the southeast
Pite ers. corner 0f square. This platform
j had been constructed for the ac-
I thunk up a nice littul poem for] coittmodati(>n of Fourth of Ju)y
yew all, won thet s quite true and, and Al.mistice Day speechmakers.
yet yow'll nevur ges the end U.l()n wpfl|.; dayg lt ,cvvcd itineraTlt
i salesmen. And itinerant salesmen
were frequent.
No two of these salesmen were
the last line:
Twas midnitc in the parlor;
Twas dark everwhar;
The selence wuz unbroken;
No budy wuz there.
Yers til fly papers,
Pitchers.
Don't Back Booger Bryant's
Bunch
Vote for H. F. Boyd
For Assistant Business Manager
of J-Tac
'Better rood in tJie Dining Hall'
IT PAYS TO
ADVERTISE!
.ever alike, yet there was something
' about them you could always tell
j them from the ordinary run of peo-
| pie the way you can musicians or
i hotel detectives. But today's sales-
man was as unlike any salesman
; who had ever stood on the village
j platform as his astounding propo-
! sition was unlike any bargain that
] had ever been offered there. The
| villagers stood as one gazing at the
j salesman in blank astonishment.
! Albiet no quack had ever tried
'harder to sell his cure-all snake
oil than the young man was trying
; to sell his five dollar bills, he had
failed utterly to make a sale. When
cents apiece!" shouted the mayor.
The banker shot a piercing
glance over his spectacles at the
salesman.
"Wei!."' h-? ejaculated. He took
the bills again differently and
scrutinized each one carefully.
"They look all right to me," he
said dubiously.
The young man put out his hand'
to retrieve the bills. "I suppose
that settles it."
."Well, by crackie, I reckon it
don't!" retorted the mayor. "Any
time I let a puppy get away with
such a stunt! I'll take you to the
county seat, myself, t will. By thc
Eternal, see if I don't! Bring him
along, Silas."
Late that afternoon the mayor
sat in his office in deep perplexity.
His face still burned from chagrin.
All his fifty-six years had not pre-
pared him for the day's experience.
"I can't figger it out," he pon-
dered. "Now, why in the name of
sense should a body sell a good five
dollar bill for three dollars and
seventy-nine cents? It ain't intelli-
gent.''
At the moment the high pressure
salesman entered the City Hotel
and joined bis partner in their
room. In truth the two young
men had no business whatever in
the village, and they were there
only because their car had chosen
that particular locality in which to
break down.
"This," announced the erstwhile
salesman to his friend, "has been
a day! Interesting and highly in-
structive!"
The other tossed aside the book
.he pcrceived the approach of thej},e ^ad been reading and looked
A codfish lays a million eggs,
While the helpful hen lays one,
But the codfish does not cackle,
To inform you what she's done.
And so we scorn the codfish,
The helpful hen we prize,
Whieh indicates to thoughtful minds,
That it pays to ADVERTISE I
The shoes a person wears, the cigarette he smokes, the hat he sports, the
radio to which he listens, the gasoline he uses, and the gum he chews are al~
ways the ADVERTISED brand. Printed matter makes a lasting impression.
Start a regular ad now in
THE J-TAC
sheriff and thc mayor, he welcomed
them as new prospects.
"Ah. step rierht up, my friends,"
he cried, "I have here the most
: amazing offer that has ever been
made on American soil! Twenty
genuine five dollar hills, good old
U. S. money, each of which I will
s?Il for the trifling sum of three
; dollars and seventy-nine cents! A
genuine five dollar bill for three
, dollars and seventy-nine cents,
i Think of it! Only one to a cus-
j tnmer!"
I Tho sheriff and the mayor were
j for tile moment completely taken
,-nback. While they stood regarding
Hip salesmen with blank faculties,
Pap Mason produced a pair of
crnld-rimmed spectacles and edged
his way nearer the salesman.
"T emme see one o' 'em."
"Yes, sir!" exclaimed the young
man.
Pap examined the bill with care-
ful deliberation while the sales-
man's voluable outpourings flowed
on.
"I'll take it." he said, and he
"ounted out three dogeared bills
Tid the necessary nickels and pen-
nies fi'om a lon^r hoarded fund.
"Now, my friends " cried the
-.=nlesrran enthusiastically, hero
is a man of sound judgment, a man
who knows a barirain when he sees
i.-ie; who is next? Only nineteen
left, and never acrain—"
4t this point the sheriff ad-
vanced ominously, followed by the
nompous and indignant mayor.
,<c:tep risht up, gentlemen." be-
f>e salesman, blandly ignoring
■hf sheriff's badge,
"Young feller, in the name o'
the law. come down from there!"
hridered the sheriff.
The salesman hopped down.
"Now, gertlemen. I have here nine-
t(urn genuine five dol-"
"You air under arrest!"
The stranger looked astonished.
"Why, you can't arrest me.
Thovi no law against selling here
hi t^e square."
"Yo, but thev's a law agin coun-
-rorey."
salesman was aggfieved. !
i "''V friend." he spoVe with ;
dicrnify, "von have mis-
■ 1>-.'r.-,-.-to"d r e. T^ese bills are
'■ ■loci, just as I said. And I am sell-
" ,| n- ^OTTl fnr "
"Voi? <-i'v arrestoi!" repeated
•■'■"■is firmly.
■ i<n--p r^v." pi'otast.ed the
.-.'l'-8rvan. "where is your bank? I
up, grinning broadly.
"Ro?" he asked, eager to hear
more.
"I got myself arrested, exactly
as you predicted. In fact, I had the
honor of being conveyed to the
county seat in the custody of His
Nibs, the Mayor. You should meet
thc mayor!"
Ilis friends laughed uproar-
iously.
"But you, continued the first,
"owe me one hundred dollars."
The grin of the other faded into
a look of incredulity.
"Oh, come now," he exclaimed.
"No one actually took you up on
it?"
"Exactly. One ignorant bumpkin
with hayseed in l is hair made a
purhase."
"Well, his friend remarked as he
counted out the money, "that was
one bet I never expected to lose!"
Patronize J-TAC Advertisers.
Cash and Carry
Suits Cleaned & Pressed
50c
College Tailors
MAJESTIC
BARBER SHOP
Extra Quality at no Extra
Price
City Barber Shop
T. A. Lawson — I*. XI. Landless
it. E. Cole, Barbers
7-up
"A BETTER MENDER
THE FINEST BLENDER"
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The J-TAC (Stephenville, Tex.), Vol. 17, No. 29, Ed. 1 Tuesday, April 27, 1937, newspaper, April 27, 1937; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth140296/m1/3/: accessed June 23, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Tarleton State University.