The J-TAC (Stephenville, Tex.), Vol. 51, No. 17, Ed. 2 Thursday, April 1, 1971 Page: 6 of 6
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Page 6
AdHI Fool Edition
April 1, 1971
FOR RENT-furnished apart-
ment with TV cable, college
married couple only (baby
accepted), no pets. Across
street from college at Texan
Apts. Call 965-4797.
'Oh, Calcutta!' Cast In Local Hoosegow
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by
Poison Pen Glenn
ERATH CO. -, Speaking
from behind the bars in the
Erath County jail today, Mrs.
Mary Jane Mingus, director of
the Tarleton Players acting
group, lamented what she re-
ferred to as 'the close-minded-
ness of Stephenville citizens.'
'This is what you get for
trying to bring a little progres-
sive theater to an essentially
backwoods area. These clods
wouldn't recognize 'art' if
they tripped over it!' Basical-
ly this is what happened dur-
ing the Tarleton Players pro-
duction of 'Oh, Calcutta!'
when the leading man fell
flat on his face while trying
to get out of his trousers for
the opening number.
Rated X, the show opened
Wednesday in the Studio to a
full house, with scalpers get-
ting as much as $ 10 for stand-
ing room only tickets. The
players seemed rather tense
at first as several local police-
men were in evidence in the
audience. However, they sat
through both performances
before any arrests were made.
They left only between
shows, returning with the rest
of the Stephenville police
EXTRA! WE GOTCHA!
force, as well as the mayor
and several prominent area
businessmen.
Audience comments
ranged from, 'Gosh!' to
'Wow!' A local eye doctor
reported treating several cases
of strained eyes this morning.
He said, i've never run onto
anything like it.'
Things came off smoothly
until after the last perform-
ance when local law enforce-
ment officials moved in with
guns drawn yelling things like
'Up against the wall...' and
'Nasty, nasty.'
The entire cast is now in
the local jail awaiting trial.
See 'Bug-eyed' on page 9.
TACKY-J Exposes Ex-CIA Agent
by
Poison Pen Glenn
EXTRA! EXTRA!-An unin-
formed source has recently
disclosed that Dr. O.A. Grant,
head of the Tarleton Social
Sciences department, was
once with the CIA. His of-
ficial position with that de-
partment was top-secret and
no one, not even himself,
knew for a long time just
what his duties were.
You're always welcome at
Jake & Dorothy's
~ !
49$ E. Washington
965-5211
If you can stand the food,
I guess we can stand you.
'The wurst place in town to eat.'
Speaking in a muffled Lat-
in-American accent garbled
with some Russian thrown in,
our source told us in an ob-
sene phone call that Grant
was fired from his job as
head of the Impossible Mis-
sions force in late 1969.
Struggling to hear over the
static-ridden wires of the lo-
cal obsene phone company
(you'd never guess we're the
only phone company in town)
we finally made out that the
reason for Grant's dismissal
was his lack of trained per-
sonnel. It seems that he ac-
cidentally self-destructed the
whole group during a briefing
one day.
After doing, some digging
on our own (we checked out
all the closets in the social
sciences department), we dis-
covered that there was one
lone survivor of the I.M. force.
One former I.M, agent is going
about his merry way, secretly
placing parking tickets on cars
which he catches out and
violating some law after the
hour of midknight. However,
we are unable to disclose this
man's name (if it is a man),
due to the fact that the CIA
and Dr. Grant will disavow
any knowledge of his ac-
tivities. Even the administra-
tion says they didn't know
they had such a super-sleuth
working for them.
Newsom's
Shoe & Boot
Shop
Our 52nd year
in offering
"The Finest in Shoe
& Saddle Repair"
132 S. Columbia
(next door to the
Empire-Tribune)
For Gays
Bottomless Bathing Suits
What you see
is what you get!!
Stuffed Shirts
Without Stuffing.
Choose your own
stuff for stuffing.
One Legged Pants
Reduced
Regular $10.99
SALE.
Extra leg 10 more
For Gals
BARGAIN DAYS
FREE KITE WITH EACH
PURCHASE OVER $5.00
Topless Bathing Siriftr
The devil
made us do
Cold Showers
for
Hot Pants
ii
11
iddoiiC.viioJ^
Unisex Pants
For all kinds
Flammable Bras
i- '
for future
Women's Lib members ji
11
11
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The J-TAC (Stephenville, Tex.), Vol. 51, No. 17, Ed. 2 Thursday, April 1, 1971, newspaper, April 1, 1971; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth141217/m1/6/: accessed July 16, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Tarleton State University.