The J-TAC (Stephenville, Tex.), Ed. 1 Thursday, March 21, 1991 Page: 3 of 8
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the J-TAC/Thursday, March 28, 1991/Page
E3f
Haunted houses help keep us young
Pmanuel 2?
Alvear
I
The scene is an old, abandoned,
rumored-to-be-haunted school.
Where this school is doesn't matter,
because you all know the place I'm
talking about Whether it's a house
or building in your home town, you've
all been there.
The ten of us drove out in two
cars, with five flashlights to our
names (Ben kept reminding us that
his had a lantern, too).
Darkness, hardly broken by our
lights, surrounded us as we explored.
We shined our flashlights on the
.walls, looking eagerly for anything.
"Guys, look at that desk, it wasn't
like that a minute ago," said Martha,
her voice marked with concern.
"Shut up," we all responded, not
quite as concerned as she is.
"Pmanuel, come look at this.
What do you think it is?" Ben asked
me as he crouched down in front of
a pile of some strange liquid in the
corner.
"I don't know. (Dramatic Pause)
I've never seen anything like it be-
fore. . ." I responded furrowing my
brow as I crouched next to him.
"Angela, Ben and Pmanuel are
talking stupid again," Sherman
whined.
He left and the others followed
him. Ben and I rolled our eyes and
sighed because we knew that when
this night became a horror movie
"based on actual events" Sherman
would be the first one eaten by demon
possessed zombies.
Flash of lightening in the dis-
tance and I remember hearing cer-
tain disjointed phrases:
"Did you hear that? It was kind
of a moaning noise."
"I think my batteries are dying."
"Did it just seem to get daiker to
you in here?"
"Didn't someone die in one of
these rooms?"
"Look! There's writing over
here!"
"Where did Sherman go?"
"Quit touching my butt!"
"I don't know, maybe a demon
Easter bunny's motives
questioned by columnist
Moore
Everywhere you go lately, you
are met with a barrage of gooey,
yellow-and pink-dyed marshmallow
chickens? and enough artificial grass
to furnish the Astrodome for eter-
nity.
The Easter Bunny has struck
again.
He comes every year on Valen-
tine's Day and forces store clerks to
set up enormous displays of choco-
late bunnies and other such tempta-
tions that beg "Buy me. Eat me and
get fat. Or better yet, just apply me
direcdy to your thighs which is where
I'll go anyway." It's not fair.
There are a few good things
about Easter, however. New dresses,
time spent with your family and the
ultimate bunny benefit - hunting
Easter eggs.
I'll be the first to admit it. I still
hunt for Easter eggs. Basket in hand,
I feel no shame in running around
my grandmother's front yard with
the other nine million grandchildren
searching for that elusive treasure.
We ran like wild people, ignor-
ing the ever abundant but nonconse-
quential candy egg's in search of the
big one. After looking in trees and
behind lawn chairs, someone would
yell in a Bush-like tone of victory
"I've got it! I found the prize egg and
you didn't! Ha, ha, ha! I won and you
didn't! Yes! Yes!" (my family isn't
full of good sports).
I realize now that the golden egg
came to represent more than just the
$20 hidden inside. It became the
symbol of everything good and fair.
The one thing that is worth striving
for-worth overlooking lesser things
in order to find.
In a sense, going for the big
enchilada.
Maybe the Easter Bunny has a
point In his own unique and perhaps
twisted way, he seems to be telling
us to be choosy in what we "pick up"
in life and keep our eyes on that
golden egg of our dreams.
Whether it's making a ton of
monev, owning a million acres of
land or just passing biology this
semester, don't sit there and wait for
it to happen. Do something about it!
(This advice coming from the Queen
of Procrastinators, who would put
off breathing until the last minute if
she could).
Study. Make new friends. Get
a job. Get a life.
I realize that trying to make
your dreail. coj^jyus .tafegt,Jtlle
HB con
sacrifice. Take me for exampler T
want to be a journalist when (and il)
I grow up. In order to make this
happen, I become one with this
computer four days a week, give up
any form of social life and, to top it
all off, / have to put up with Julie
(just kidding Grider, just kidding.
Really, please don't fire me).
The Easter Bunny takes special
care to hide that one particular egg
better than all of the rest because
nothing worth having ever comes
easy. Neither do your dreams.
I just have one question for that
oversized jackrabbit.
Did you have to hide my egg so
darned hard?
Christy Moore Is Features Edi-
tor for the J-TAC.
Pman and L's excellent
adventures at Panchos
Ben
Tinsley
WHAT ARE MANNERS?
"God, I'm about to throw up,"
my young friend L.H. Harris ex-
claimed, pushing his plateful of
Panchos all-you-can-eat Mexican
food aside.
"Thanks for the play-by-play,
L," I replied, pushing my own tray
away.
"Tee-hee-hee," L.H. giggled in
response to my apparent disgust.
He pulled out a cigarette from the
pack of Marlboros on the table and
lit it.
I raised the "signal flag" at our
table, indicating to our waiter that I
desired to request coffee.
"You know Ben," L.H. said,
taking a drag from his cigarette,
"you're pretty darn rude to Nacho."
Nacho was the name of our
waiter. Why anyone would want to
name their child after a cheddar
cheese Mexican food dish was be-
yond me. But Nacho hustled to get
our food and I was going to leave
him a good tip.
"L," I said irritably, "I don't
have to be nice to Nacho. He's do-
ing a good job and I'm going to fi-
nancially reward him. I'm sure he'd
much rather prefer that than a pat
on the fanny."
L.H.'s right eyebrow twitched.
His eyes narrowed. He exhaled
smoke in my face. I got the im-
pression that he didn't agree with
my assessment of the situation.
"Ben," he began slowly, "all I'm
asking is that you smile at him or
say something nice when you ask
him to bring us food."
"L," I replied, as mockingly
menacing as he was to me, "when
that man goes home tonight, he's
not going to say 'gee, I'm glad Ben
and L were nice to me and smiled at
me and told me how much they
loved me.' He's going to think,
that homeboy with the cash sure
did tip me well. Think I'll hustle
for him even faster next time."
L.H. just stared at me, twitch-
ing.
WHAT IS AN AGREEMENT?
"Ahem," Pmanuel Alvear said,
clearing his throat from his seat on
the far side of our booth. Pmanuel
was L.H.'s roommate. He and I had
been coming to eat at Panchos in
Fort Worth since the two of us be-
gan working for THE J-TAC as
freshmen. L.H. was a recent recruit
to our Panchos visits.
"What is it, P?" L.H. replied.
"Well," Pmanuel said, wiping
taco meat, picante sauce, sour
cream and enchilada sauce from his
face. "In my Logic class, my in-
structor would suggest that the two
of you agree to stop trying to per-
suade each other to do something
you obviously do not want to do,
and go your own ways with your
opinions."
L.H. and I stared at Pmanuel for
one long moment. Pmanuel
grinned at the two of us. Food fell
out of his mouth.
"Well," L.H. replied, "its a darn
good thing we're not in your Logic
class, then, Pmanuel."
And on that point, L.H. and I
were both agreed.
He's back! Ben Tinsley is
once again a Staff Writer for
THE J-TAC.
possessed zombie got him. . ."
"I'm not touching your butt!"
"Wait up a minute, my flash-
light has a lantern, too."
"Guys, I'm getting a strange
feeling "bout this. . ."
"Maybe Martha's touching your
butt."
"SSSSSHHHHH!!!!! What was
that!?!?"
THUMP. . . . THUMP. . .
THUMP. . .
"There it was again."
"I'm going back to the car."
That was when we all calmly
walked back to the cars (at about 72
miles per hour).
On the way home, and for the
rest of the night, we each had a dif-
ferent version of what happened that
night.
Maybe it was a howl, maybe it
was a moan. Maybe it was Ben who
ran first, maybe it was Sherman (I
know it wasn't me).
We never figured out who really
was touching ^-.igela's butt (heh,
heh), . . maybe we're better off not
knowing.
One thing I do know is that it
does not matter where it is, we all
have our haunted houses-the place
we went with our friends even though
we knew we weren't supposed to.
At some point we go to the place
where we become children again and
anything, no matter how scary or
wild, is possible.
It was scary, but in a fun way.
We never really believed that we
were going to be attacked by crea-
tures of the night We just wanted to
know how far into the house we
would go.
As we grow older, I think we
lose our way to this place. We can't
find our way to these houses any
more, so we start to build our own
houses just to see how far inside
we'll go.
We drink until we pass out.. it
could kill us, but that's what makes it
scary.
We take chances and experi-
ment as if we could never die. .. but
every now and then one of us does.
I didn't see a ghost that night we
went to that school; I'm pretty sure
none of us did.
Years later, I look around and
sometimes I see ghosts all around
me, and scariest of all, sometimes I
see one in the minor.
We had the .right idea going tQ
that school. When the real world
gets too heavy, and we want to go
somewhere where anything wild or
scary is possible, it's time to grab a
couple of friends, leave the beer (or
anything else) at home, go sit in the
back yard around a fire and tell ghost
stories all night.
How long has it been since you
and a friend have been to that house?
Pmanuel Alvear Ls a Staff
Writer for the J-TAC.
LKXItE; <2IStM
10. (Jive Sul Ross a chance to win something. (Chuckle , , Yah, Right)
9. Keep athletes from getting fat and lazy.
8, McMurray's got Kooties,
7. " Kinfolk .said, 'Tarleton, move away from there. . . Better conference is
the place you oughta be..
6. No more room in our trophy case.
5. Tfiere's Ijcen talk of a S.C.U.I). misste build up by other teams in
4. Our Sports editor can't think of any more headline verbs for win:
Thishes. . . Maims. , . Crushes., .???
3. Same reason our troops are leaving Kuwait
2. Endzone push-ups are milking our cheerleaders look like Popeye after
a spinach overdose.
Jim h
1, Five words: Use fem and Loose 'em!!! **
TSU
Texans for a Safe University
CRIME OF THE WEEK
FOR WEEK OF 3127191
PROPERTY DAMAGE TO A BUILDING:
Between 9:30pm on Saturday, March 2 and 10:45am on
Sunday, March 3, a glass door pane was broken at the TSU
Campus Post Office. The door was the east outside door that
allows entrance to the Post Office. It appeared that an unknown
suspect took their fist and struck the door in the middle causing
it to crack in numerous directions.
CRIME STOPPERS will pay you up to $1,000 on felony crimes and up to
$100 on misdemeanor crimes.
CALL 965-CASH
PERSONS INELIGIBLE FOR REWARD
Peace Officers or members of their immediate family.
Members of the Crime Stoppers Board or members of their immediate family.
Any party to the crime being reported or a member of their immediate family.
INVESTIGATOR, RANDALL DOLLOFF
T. S. U. CRIME STOPPERS COORDINATOR
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The J-TAC (Stephenville, Tex.), Ed. 1 Thursday, March 21, 1991, newspaper, March 21, 1991; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth141750/m1/3/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Tarleton State University.