Austin American (Austin, Tex.), Vol. 1, No. 171, Ed. 1 Tuesday, November 17, 1914 Page: 4 of 8
This newspaper is part of the collection entitled: Austin American-Statesman Newspaper Collection and was provided to The Portal to Texas History by the UNT Libraries.
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17, 1914.
n
STRAY SONG AND STORY
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CHEAPER THAN RABBITS.
Getting His.
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President Wilson appears to be in hard luck.
After being insulted by a negro he was "stood
up” by an elevator boy.
eekly. One Tear. .....................
ON AUSTIN AMERICAN?
may be that they always ask us to
ht thing, it appears that we have
vith most of the demands Mexico
"The oyster,” says the Louisville Courier-
Journal, "is never attacked by the foot and
mouth disease.
As if the war was not a sufficient affliction,
that fossilized human hen, Chauncey Depew,
has unloaded a brochure of his preserved
cackles on a long suffering public.
While rest rooms are being established in
most of the cities of the country, Houston has-
not yet beep guilty of any overt act presaging
the 'construction of one for the use of the
Grand Lodge of Sons of Rest, which favored
that municipality by making it its National
headquarters.
Just trot Trotter into Texas if you want a
period put to his Lmelight campaign.
Kou
lette
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Mr Wickersham in his address to the Chi-
cago Bar Association recently is reported to
have urged a more thorough intellectual train-
ing of lawyers than has heretofore been adopt-
ed in preparing them for the duties of their
profession. The trend of hrs remarks dearly
indicated that he favored fewer and better
lawyers. The Galveston News expresses the
opinion that not only a large part of the legal
profession, but the laity with unanimity, will
share with him in the pious hope, and that the
ferocious competition resulting from excessive
numbers has done as much as anything else
An exchange remarks that the pendulum of
fashion has swung back 2500 years. There are
certain evidences entirely warranting the sus-
picion that it has receded further than that.
ITE LECTURERS FOR COLORED
CONGREGATIONS.
Of course, Shakespeare proved that there is
nothing in a name; still one can’t help believ-
ing that the boy who starts out labeled
“Egbert” has a terrible handicap.—Beaumont
Journal.
Rather Seared.
"Did that war correspondent write the arti-
cles he said he was going to indite on the
field?”
"No, but I believe he made some running
notes.”—Baltimore American.
The Spice of Life.
Jinks—Boarding in the country now, eh?
What do you do with yourself evenings?
Winks—Some nights I sit outdoors to keep
cool, and other nights I go to bed to keep
warn—Exchange.
Mary had a little lamb,
The hero of this ballad ;
He gave his life to give us meat,
Preceded by a salad.
—The Spokesman Review.
United States troops will be withdrawn
(era Cruz within a few days, yet the in-
■able salute to the flag has never been
and the marines who lost their lives in
lag the port still are dead.
Heroes
The boy stood on the burning deck,
A sturdy, fearless sailor;
The fire to him most welcome was
• On board that Arctic whaler.
His Handicap.
Hawkins—Why do you sign your name "T.
John B. B. B. Brown?”
Brown—Because it’s my name. I was chris-
tened by a minister who stuttered.—Music
Trades.
It is entirely within the bounds of possibility
that the campaign of 1916 will so shape itself
that a coterie of self-appointed saints will not
feel authorized to stalk up and down the coun-
try stabbing real Democrats in the back.—
Houstof Post.
Unless they belong to the class of saints
who don't know when they have enough, a
memory of their last effort to run things may
have a restraining influence on their future
ambitions.'
And Senator Culberson might remember an-
other thing. Even if Congress were to have
issued $400,000,000 currency for the relief of
the cotton growers, the chances are that Billy
Sunday would immediately come South and
hold two or three revivals and get it away
from us.—Houston Post.
It is not believed that even Billy Sunday
could jar loose some of the South Texas tight-
wads.
Freezing the Child Mind.
An outraged patron of the Dallas public
schools enters a protest, through a communi-
cation to the Evening Journal, because 11-
year-old children are expected to grapple with
and elucidate such language as this:
Conscious of his own vast powers, he
reposed with confidence on himself; and,
scorning the contrivance of smaller men.
he stood among his peers all the greater
for the simple dignity of his demeanor.
Type of his northern home, he rises be-
fore the imagination in the grand and
granite outline of his form and intellect.
J
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A Wanderer
"Ate you married, my man ?" a woman asked
a sailor.
"Yes, indeed,.mum — married and fourteen
children.”
Poor fellow, traveling about like this! And
don’t you ever get homesick?”
"Only when I’m home, mum."—Fun.
ii
dij
ruzendemz.rmtaz san:
—-uapaoxes ”
The conduct of Mistah Trottah of Bosting in
calling upon the President furnished only a
little more proof that it is an unfortunate thing
for the negro people generally that they have
to be represented in any public capacity by
impudent and uppity coons who are always
bellyaching for social recognition from- the
whites.—George Bailey in Houston Post.
Letting Her Down.
"Best shoe salesman that ever waited on
me,” declared Mrs. Wombat, who is no Cin-
derella.
"How's that?"
* “Said I ought to wear a number two, but
that extremes are never in ood taste, so he
suggested a number five.”
A Comic Picture.
"What is that monstrosity?”
"A picture hat."
"Ah, you mean a caricature.”
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Destiny
We are what we imagine, and our deeds
Are born of dreaming. Europe acta today
Epics that little children in their play
Conjured, and statesmen murmured in their
creeds;
In barrack, court and school were sown those
seeds, ,
Like Dragon’s teeth, which ripen to affray
Their sowers. Dreams of laughter rise to slay
And fate itself is stuff that fancy breeds.
-me- .a
Mock, then, no more at dreaming, lest our own
Create for us a like reality I
Let not imagination’s soil be sown
With armed men, but justice, so that we
May for a world of tryranny atone
And dream from that despair—democracy.
—Percy MacKaye in Boston Transcript.
There are indications of more fighting
across the Rio Grande. It is a quiet week
in Mexico when there is not a revolution
of some kind.—Tyler Courier-Times.
The El Paso Times is advised that this is
another paper which profanes the "placid” be-
cause its education in "greaser” was sadly neg-
lected by a lack of intimate association with
the little Chihuahua cow thief, Pancho Villa.
If it is not playing favorites, “have at him.”
One Good Result.
The European war will have one good effect,
both in this country and abroad, because it will
call a halt on useless, wasteful and unneces-
sary expenditures. The tendency of all people
is toward luxury, and luxury has been the ruin
and cause of the downfall of one nation after
another that has risen and dazzled the world
for a season and disappeared. Luxury not only
imposes a severe tax upon the productive en- •
ergies of a country, out it is enervating and
destroying to the ruling class, that represents
the intelligence and the highest development
of civilization of that nation. This country is
much given to luxury, and while we have
plenty of room, and while conditions furnish
an antidote in a lare measure to the contam-
inating influences of wealth, anything that will
bring about the practice of simplicity will be a
National blessing.—Memphis News Scimitar.
"I thought your wife positively made you
quit drinking.”
"There’s always a way to fool the women,
boy. She depends on me to mix the punch for
her affairs, and a conscientious punch maker
has to taste the mixture frequently.”
"Well?”
"Well, after you’ve tasted it about a thou-
sand times, you’ve a pretty good edge on.”
Only Kind Effective.
Use short words; they are the best and
proper kind to use.
"I know,” said the henpecked husband, “and
thin words — the kind you can get in edge-
wise.”—Stray Stories.
The general manager of an Illinois railroad
attempting the time-worn feat of taking the
ople into his confidence for the benefit of
concerned. Due to the foot-chilling effect
the New Haven disclosures, this amiable
ntleman had not succeeded in getting
body on the line up to the time of going
There are few people who are prepared to
believe the statement that human life, in at
least one jurisdiction in Texas, is cheaper than
the life of a rabbit. Nevertheless it has been
established by solemn adjudications of the
courts of the country.
In Dallas County a policeman charged with
murdering a boy was convicted of manslaugh-
ter and sentenced to jail for the term of one
day, and was actually compelled to serve seven
hours of his severe sentence before the law
felt that it had been satisfied. In New Jersey
a boy who killed a rabbit which was eating
his mother’s vegetables, was convicted and
sentenced to jail for 120 days. This is a calm,
deliberate judicial ascertainment of the rela-
tive value of a human life as compared to that
of an insignificant “cotton-tail” rabbit. As has
been sagely observed, "law is the perfection
of human reason," and its principal beauty “is
the certainty thereof.” Therefore, does it lie
in the mouth of any man to deny that the
life of a boy is precisely 119 per cent cheaper
than that of a rabbit?
Needless Retreat
General Joffre once told a good-humored
story of a party of four British tourist* who
entered a Paris restaurant one evening and an-
nounced that they wanted dinner. ,
"And we don't want any of your frogs, or
snails, or horses,” one of them told the waiter,
severely. "We start with soup—some sort of
plain soup.”
"Certainly sir,” replied the waiter, and next
minute the four Britons heard him shout down
the speaking tube to the kitchen: "Cat soup!”
Without a word the tourists seized their
hats and bolted. It was not until Some time
later that they discovered that in French "four
soups”—"quatres soupes" — is pronounced al-
most exactly like "cat soup." — New York
American.
A Trouble Maker
"Why did you tell my wife that before I mhet
her I promised to love you forever?”
“Well, didn’t you?"
"Sure I did. But that’s no kind of conver-
sation to go to a man’s wife with.”
d Press, which is not a trust,
he post when the Audacious
An aged flagman shot a wagon driyer at
Dallas. Probably the wagon driver did not
salute the flag.—Temple Telegram.
He was more insistent in his flag demands
than was the United States.
Legislation Not Needed.
There is no need for the Legislature to as-
semble in extraordinary session to create a
State central bank or to attempt the futile pian
to curtail cotton acreage by statute. There is
no need for Congress to waste further time on
the cotton relief bills proposed in the first ses-
sion. The Legislature of Texas is not going
to create a State central bank, nor is it going
to tamper with the acreage question. The
Congress is not going to issue $250,000,000
bonds with which to buy bales of
cotton at 10 cents a pound, nor is it going to
issue currency to be lent to the producers.
It would only halt the rapidly improving
conditions if these legislative bodies were to
engage in a lengthy and fruitless debate upon
useless remedial measures. The machinery
now in motion will work well if our statesmen
will let it alone.
The Dutchman and the Dog
A Dutchman, returning from a hunting ex-
pedition (we get this from Everybody’s), was
met by a friend, who, noting the flatness of his
game-bag, said tauntingly:
"Well, I see you’ve been hunting.”
The luckless hunter nodded.
"Did you shoot anything?” persisted the
friend.
“Veil,” was the reply, "I shot my dawg.”
“Shot your dog ?" asked the friend in amaze-
ment. "Was he mad?”
"Veil, he vasn’t so tam pleased,” retorted
the Dutchman.
-President Taft addressed the students of
iams College on the novel and entertain-
vubject, "The Lawyer of Ideals.” It is
mown whether he gave his audience the
tsse* of any considerable number of the
ssion who are living and shining exam-
of the subject discussed.
„ Youth Pleads
Oh, fill my arm* with daffodil*.
And wreathe my soul in dreama.
And build me lacy palaces, O men! .
And let me find the wonder-world as lovely
as it Seems—
For I never can be beautiful again I
There’s time enough for charity.
For spectacles end books.
There's time to drip my heart's blood from
my pen.
There s time for bitter bickering and bitter,
bitter looks—
But I never can be beautiful again!
—Jane Burr in New York Times.
halt for a half century, notwithstanding the
code of every other profession has advanced
steadily and markedly.
The News is some less than half right in its
surmise as to the cause which has lowered the
ethics of the legal profession to its present
depths. The number of men engaged in the
profession has little to do with this lamentable
condition. The fierceness’ of competition plays
a small part in producing the result. The chief
cause and the tap root of the evil is found in
the circumstance that reputable lawyers tol-
erate in their profession a horde of pettifog-
gers and jacklegs who are as devoid of merit
and honor as digger Indians and who resort to
every known method, whether creditable, dis-
creditable or downright dishonorable, to get
business and to win their cases. The honor-
able lawyer contents himself with dealing with
cases as they really are, while the dishonor-
able one, by subornation of perjury or other
like criminal activities, makes his cases not
what they really are, but what success requires
that they should be. It follows that the reputa-
ble. lawyer loses weak cases, while the disrep-
utable one who makes them to order, never has
weak ones, barring ignorance and unforeseen
accident, and therefore has a larger percentage
of success than the former. The citizen who
employs lawyers wants results, and in conse-
quence gives his business to the local Jaggers
who waxes fat while his old-fashioned, ethical
and highly honorable brother starves to death
because, as is often said by some of the laity,
“he is too honest to be a lawyer.” The reason,
and practically the only reason, that the ethics
of the profession have received their death
wound is due to the fact that the law business
now is practically dominated by men who have
attained success by suppressing them with a
bludgeon whenever they cross their profes-
sional pathway.
Just So.
"It is stated that 40,000,000 gallons of hard
cider ware manufactured this fall.”
"Something else to stagger humanity."
e - . i.
It is said that regulations to limit gambling
in cotton will be introduced in the coming ses-
sion of Congress. The man who would gam-
ble in cotton now should be investigated re-
garding his sanity rather than prosecuted for
sporting propensities.—Four States Press.
While there are some men who gamble in
anything, we are inclined to concur in the
opinion.
The prolongation of this war mutt be ven
aggravating to those chaps who have their
book* finished.
What Lacked Buttons.
An English colonel at kit inspection said to
Private Flanigan:
"Ha! Yes, shirts, socks, flannels, all very
good. Now, can you assure me that *1! the
articles of your kit have buttons on them?”
"No, sir," said Private Flanigan, hesitat-
Kow’s that, sir?"
"Aren’t no buttons on the towels, sir—
Kansas City Star.
A Costly Cottage.
"Could you be satisfied with love in a cot-
tage, dearest ?” sighed the poor young man.
"Certainly I could,” responded the girl, who
really loved him. "But there must be a break-
fast room, a music room, parquetly flooring,
and a big marble fireplace in the front hall."
The quotation is from Breckenridge’s ora-
tion of the Great Trio, as contained in Hill’s
Readers, book the fifth. If Breckenridge had
been addressing children doubtless he would
have eschewed such lofty language and in-
volved style. His oration wouldn't be good
copy for adults, much less for children, al-
though Breckenridge, who in many ways was
unique, could use such language gracefully and
effectively. It must have a freezing effect
upon the “plastic minds” of children. The ex-
ample illustrates the folly of our text-book
adoption system. The important function of
selecting books for pupils of all ages is in-
trusted to teachers whose experience with
childlife has become a memory. Staggering
language, impossible and useless problems are
placed before children and they are urged at
double-quick over the deadly pages. One con-
sequence is that many never even get a foun-
dation for education, saying nothing of the su-
perstructure—Dallas Evening Journal.
No Trouble at All.
John, whose father was a baker, was in the
habit of bringing his teacher a fresh pretzel
each day.
"I wish you would tell your father not to
make them quite so salty,” she once said
laughingly.
Thereafter the shiny, brown delicacy — al-
ways minus the salt—was found frequently on
her desk.
"It is very kind of your father to make one
on purpose for me,” she told him.
"Oh !” was the startling reply, "he don’t
make them this way. I lick the salt off.”—
Philadelphia Ledger.
Thf Federal reserve system begin* opera-
tion today. The reserve banks are especially
equipped to finance the cotton movement.
They can supply the member banks with abun-
dant facilities to meet all legitimate demands.
There is no longer any place in our system
for such currency as it was proposed for Con-
gress to authorize, nor is there any need of
such currency.
With the opening of the reserve banks to-
day the cotton exchanges will open, and the
cotton deadlock ought to rapidly disappear.
Cotton is already bringing 8 cents a pound,
with an upward tendency, and the spinners are
getting into the market. With the exchanges
open the spinners can hedge their purchases.
This is bound to strengthen the market and
stimulate demand. Stimulated demand may
be expected to cause further advances.
It is only necessary for the producers to
market their cotton gradually. Sell a little
from time to time as the price goes up, and
hold some. Producers who wish to hold can
receive the needed financial assistance now.
Banks will lend money on warehouse receipts,
so it is easy enough to hold what the producer*
do not care to part with at present.
With the situation improving so rapidly,-
only embarrassment could follow legislative
attempts to bring about impossible things, and •
the tampering with currency schemes now
might prove disastrous in many ways.
As for the reduction of the acreage, the
farmers will do that without compulsion. In
Georgia, reduction pledges made in a large
group of counties already total 42 per cent of
the 1914 acreage and many farmers in the dis-
trict are to be heard from. The situation is
not bad, and the farmers; bankers and mer-
chants are going to solve their problem, and
they can do it better than legislatures.—Hous-
ton Post.
Not Hi* Name
A story of the drilling of a squad of recruits
is causing the clerks at the war office some
amusement. The officer was calling the names
and prompt replies came from Jones and Smith
and Robinson.
The next name was Montaig—that was how
the officer pronounced it.
There was no reply.
"Montaig,” replied the officer with em-
phasis. ,
“Here, sir,” came the half-hearted reply
from the rear rank.
"Why didn't you answer at once?” said the
man in charge.
"My name is Montague,” said the recruit.
“Is it?” replied the officer. “Well, you do
seven days’ tatigew.”—New York American.
Arabian Nghts.
"What became of that lucky brother of
yours ? He used to be a regular Aladdin.”
"He's a sort of Aladdin still. He's got a
job with the railroad company rubbing up
lamps,"
Editorlal Iiwm ...........
rnusomsvsscnrrox.
Dally ana Sunday.
14 .............. Domestic le. Foreign 26
20 Pases...............Domestic 2c. Foreign 3c
44 ................... 3c. Foreign 5c
W Pases............... 4c. Foreign 6c
■Bribers destring addrees changed will please
■Kbplpoardtvadaraph... momey order or
ir swt otherwise, we win mi be responaibi•
Colonel Lee J. Rountree will no doubt en-
courage the erection of a splendid monument
to the memory of the venerable editor of the
Louisville Courier-Journal when he has fallen
asleep for the reason that Mr. Watterson has
decided that the hog and not the dog is man’s
best friend. At least this is timely assistance
to Rountree’s movement for "more hogs and
fewer dogs.”—Greenville Banner.
--=eHee--
We are going to ask the esteemed Waco
Morning News pretty soon, by and by, to give
us its candid opinion of the Herald as a politi-
cal prophet or rather a discerner of the
thoughts and intents of a certain politician
that resides less than a thousand miles from
its office of publication.—Hamilton Herald.
The opinion, if candid, can not be other than
highly complimentary.
--=eae---
Senator McGregor says there will be har-
mony between Governor Ferguson and the
Legislature. This is an interesting prophecy
and we shall await its fulfillment with keen
anticipation. A non - woolpulling, non-hell-
raising Legislature in Texas might contribute
richly to the gayety of the nations.—Houston
Post.
I John D. Rockefeller Jr. and Charles F. Mur-
dy, who' are guests of a Hot Springs hotel,
vere invited by negro waiters in the establish-
Bent to lecture in a negro church in that town.
2 the occasion of a visit there by John D.
Rockefeller Sr. the old gentleman seized the
■portunity to address his colored brethren,
dhich in a measure encouraged the present in-
nation. Young Rockefeller gave a condi-
nal acceptance of the invitation, while Mur-
hy appears to not have spoken for publica-
bn concerning his attitude in the matter. In
t> far as the Rockefeller connection is con-
Erned, the country is not surprised at its ten-
tency to mix with the colored population.
The gentlemen who have been honored by
ieir Hot Springs colored brethren should be
■rare of the fact that it is a time-honored cus-
Bn in this section of the United States for
bite people worthy of their race to do all
i their power for the uplift of negroes, barring
utting themselves upon equality with them
zindiscriminately associating with them per-
mnally in a social way. Any other course en-
urages and makes possible the Trotter type
negro. If white men attend negro churches
encourages negroes to return the compli-.
ent. No white man should address a negro
ngregation unless he is willing to recipro-
te by allowing a negro to address a white
gregation. The man who encourages that
nd of reciprocity really does not belong in
is part of the United States and is likely to
ut some thing he can not stop.
During the days of carpetbag rule in Texas
ere was a negro-loving State Treasurer by
Ename of Honey who journeyed from Aus-
» to Belton for the purpose of delivering an
dress to his colored brethren in their church
that town. At the conclusion of the meet-
E a committee of citizens took him in hand
id treated him to a ducking in Nolan Creek.
# this sanitary favor conferred upon Honey,
me twenty of those who engaged in that
endly office were indicted by the Federal
and jury in Austin and suffered considerable
tention from their business in making trips
this city before the affair finally blew over,
iny of them were indignant at having been
t to such inconvenience merely for having
Bated in disinfecting and properly bathing
state officer. No recurrence of this offense
I been noted for the sufficient reason that
o congregations in Belton have since man-
ed to get along without the services of
ite lecturers.
a—: ■
.to keep the ethical code of the profession at a
The El Paso Times protests against being
talked about in a ten-point-leaded tone of
voice. However, that is the only kind that
will carry across a s00-mile desert.
Governor Colquitt has addressed a letter to
the members-elect of the next Legislature ask-
ing their opinion on a special session it is to
be hoped that he will get a decisive answer in
the negative. Texas does not need any more
sessions of the Legislature. Texas needs to
be let alone. What needs to be done is for
every man to make a personal survey of the
situation, bend his back to the load, start in
to get out of debt and also make a start to
make his living at home first of all. The farm-
er that needs a law to cut down cotton acre-
age really needs a guardian—but don’t call the
Legislature together.—Sherman Democrat.
TO ADVENTISENS.
BIa «■*• of error* or omtssions Id legal or other
Mrrtisements, the publishers do not hold themselves
■IMe for damage further than th* amount received
E Chem for such advertisement.
EASTERN AND WESTERN AGNrS.
MBenjamtn & Kentnor Co.. tit Fifth Avenue, New
Torkscity.
MRaUamin & Kentnor Co.. Peoples Gas Building. Chi-
NOTICE TO THE PUBLIC. ’
Any erroneous reflection upon the character, stand-
8 or reputation of any person, firm or corporation
Ehich may appear in the column* of The Austin
Hmerican will be gladly corrected upon it* being
to tha attention of the mana<ement._______
SReaders of The American leaving the city are
■■Med that they can have The American sent to
MBt direct by mail for any period deci red—day*.
Feoka and month*. Subseriptions may be (riven to
aewadealers or sent to The American Circulation De-
Eartment Addresses will be changed a* often a*
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Sevier, H. H. Austin American (Austin, Tex.), Vol. 1, No. 171, Ed. 1 Tuesday, November 17, 1914, newspaper, November 17, 1914; Austin, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1448881/m1/4/?q=%22%22~1: accessed July 16, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; .