The Austin Statesman. (Austin, Tex.), Vol. 32, Ed. 1 Sunday, January 25, 1903 Page: 12 of 16
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THIS ARTIST FEELS BETTER.
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THE SUFFERER.
BEEN DOING TIME.
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Th** French
pQrta a fallir
export of th*
mhde in Lyon
style of doth
dyed in the pl
Belt preserv
law of the cell
The EngMel
oonsumers of
The Mexicar
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AN INt
The totem
dian tribe,
each year i
push aside t
turles. Stri
a crest, and
Ing intermar
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—"advantage of a weak woman who-
Critic: "Where did you get that Id.*?"
Artist: “Out of my head."
Critic: “You ought to feel relleved.»
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Any <
feral air o
tographei
| was reap
' meals ah
1 nying illu
' rapher w
/'living be
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“How many word, are there In the Engileh language, pa?"
“I don't know." Ask your mother."
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NOT EXACTLY.
riNG him.
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podeah
HIS NEEDS WERE SMALL.
Landlady—What portion of the chick-
en would you like, Mr. Newcomer?
Mr. Newcomer—Oh, half of it will be
ample, thank you.
023
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REASON FOR DISCRETION.
. "Tea. George," she said, with a fond
■mile, "our engagement muat be kept a
secret."
"But why. dearr he asked.
"Because, *ny boy, If It were made
public people would think r really in.
tended to marry you."
"Why is Sandy so bitter ag’in people
settin’ married 1
"Why, de lady In de wayside cottage
promised him a pair of old shoes an'
den she went an’ thhew dem at a wed.
din’ hack."
6 5
—3
PRIVATE BANKING.
Wild Eyed Pete of Texas
Drew at eight on Brown.
Next day the proceeds were deposited
in the sand bank south of town.
a- Ai
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79 Al ■
—"on my knees I implore you not to
take—
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XOw AW ‛ .
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JUSTIFIABLE RAGE.
He stood on the bridge at midnight.
And the way he swore was a sin.
Yet do not condemn him lightly--
'Twas the bridge of his violin.
* A PLENTY NEEDED.
Perry Pattetle-Uv course Id take a
bath if I took a notion.
Wayworn Watson—That’s about what
it would take, I guess.
“What's about what it would take?
“An ocean.”
T l
11
88.
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SHE WANTED ONE.
“My task in life,” said the pastor complacently, "consists in easins
men."
51-6
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8x•
Leor wonder why the Widow soith
iniarric such a small man? Why, be la
a regular mite bestde her!
Eric—H’m! He must be the widow's
mite. ____
WHY HE NEEDED IT.
Doctor—You want some strengthening
medicine, sir.
Mr. Mulligan- (emphatically)—Ol do
that, docthor. Shure, my woife is much
stronger than 0l am, an' she bates me
onmercifully.
“0207
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the samp far
different devi
bird or a fist
ot hammered
uable, one o
Queen Charl
at 12.000, the
takers'4 up i
tents of the ti
always paint,
as are cut up*
-----------
hat puzzled her.
Is one thing," the maiden said,
not understand-
“01 used to play poker wid Pathriek, but ho was too much for me."
“In phwat way?"
“01 couldn't stand Pat,”
376
. GNeA"
-
A SAD TRUTH.
"The best type of man always con-
edes that woman is the nobleet created
being.”
"And then he acts mad because the
nrat baby isn't a boy.”
Thompson: "Your prayers and tear*
have convinced me. Miss Lucy, I will
not kiss you against your will"
IT SEEMED STRANOE.
Oldun: "We don’t have as good lectures as we used to."
Enpee: "And yet women are more highly educated.”
\ , ""*sses
youlazboher $9 /0 oan 80 to the omoker tonight, but you must promise to come right straight home
n Gayboy "Mzdear, there are some thing* In this world that ere possible, but not probable. The thing
•N e® VoU Qi Iflvl tie
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Miss Lucy: "Oh, MnThempeon, }
have pity) Bee— ]
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Thompson (the unfavored suitor):
'Ha. Alas Lucy, we are alone I I am
going to kiss you whether you like it
or not."
*)
N,
SQUARING HIMSELF.
She (suddenly) "Tom, what are you thinking ott
Het “Oh—ah—! was thinking that it was nearly dinnep t(mA ••
She (pouting)! “There! Mamma told me that as woon a w were married
our dream of love would end, and—boo, hop, hoo-is nil so!”
hlmrelfX! XcTr™ t^k.*" m,t” ”Ch on exhbitton ot
. . A hobbible bevenge.
you had thh Mm?’” y> dd ‛ou vourneir on Algy eince that quarrel
Mv"' indend 1 orderd my man 10 bo wude to his man when he meets
1 .
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’---—--------—........
APT TO WABBLE
L -■ . '
THAT SETTLED IT.
Sho felt that the time had come to play her trump card.
"„have.al9o‛ ahe sald, "my father’s lovely checkbook."
Within thirty minutes the engagement was announced.
243
SHE WAS SURPRISED.
appear • v
Miss Elderly: Why, I gave it. of course— thirty-fve.
Hazel: “My goodness! And didn’t they fine you for contempt?”
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Conceited Fallow.
She —You men
don't seem to re-
allze that a girl
can't Imagine any-
thing worse than
to have a young
man kiss her
against her will.
He — No? Some
girls consider it
much worse to
Have a fellow re-
frain from kissing
her when she’s
willing.
Its Failure.
Willie—Mamma,
they say history
repeatsitseit, don't
they?
M o t h er—Yea,
dear. 1
Willie — Well,
why don't it re-
peat itself when
I’m trying to learn
It?
If
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, // _____
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Conspirators.
, “The poor man
had five doctors,
and fltill he died."
"And now there
is no way of
knowing which of
them did it.”
"I .
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7
On* Lesson
Learned.
"Next time,"sald.
the man who gives
adVien "you will
know better than
to bet on a game
of chance."
"It was not a
game of chance,"
answored the man
who had lost his
coin. "That ele-
ment had been
eliminated by the
other fellows."
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"Abt" replled the maiden with a soulful longing. "Save a dim loosm.
forms." i*.
Not
Wi
*
As
*6*
MAKING A GOOD BEGINNING.
"When we are married, you will give
me everything I ak?‛
“Everything, sweetheart, every-
thing."
And then he walked home to save car
fare. , k ■
“Git soutl I won’t help you ergin. I don't believe you’ve dsns • thing
•II winter."
“You wrong me, sir. I’ve just done ninety daya."
sne • I drink like a fishi”
(3, - \
in Rainy Weather.
“Peculiar thing
about me," re-
marked the um.
brella.
“What’s that?”
Inquired the walk-
ing stick.
“I’m of most use
when I’m used
up."
-%: X.
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Just why you go and seal my heart.
Then eak me for my hand
GOOD ARITHMETIC.
Ie—You’re a flatterer. I only believe
xou.teli.me.
tThen II tell vou twice as much,
you’ll have to believe it all.
„pe
2
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Sqgs
F A/ V M
77
WE LIVE AND LEARN. , .
azzga
32 6
meli
89028
—"has no one to defend her!" '
V
»
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The Austin Statesman. (Austin, Tex.), Vol. 32, Ed. 1 Sunday, January 25, 1903, newspaper, January 25, 1903; Austin, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1454591/m1/12/: accessed July 8, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; .