The Austin American (Austin, Tex.), Vol. 10, No. 10, Ed. 1 Sunday, June 24, 1923 Page: 4 of 32
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GOBI
MR. DOOLEY
RING LARDNER’S WEEKLY LETTER TO THE EDITOR
PL
America’s Dean of Humorists Tells the Story This Week of
afcieuladen Senator Arthur Capper of Kan-
Ring Writes of Golf Amid the Rhubarb
"WHERES Dorsey, the plumber
*
*7^
carrier.
U. iu U
1.00
forelgn..- 125
(
way
reliable most of the time.
The American'* Program fo.
$
rere all th* money, but
4
d
counthry is the noisest place in th'
3
ditched.
'LL
and you have got the oholce of
' that campjaign.
He
ago was invited to
HIS
I newly born course and hung
•core of 27 1st time around
3
An enterprising member of signature is to be of a
by Gimbel brothers truck
You
nature.
newspaper
State
from
in
cam-
PERSONALITY IN HANDS
th’ back iv th’ neck.
ressive
well
spectacular.
flower publisher or publication.
Henry Ford said at the time of
his famous libel suit in
If You’ll Learn to Use Them Properly, You’ll Gain in Charm
Chicago Tribune
Theorode Roosevelt.
"It is very surprising how many
awkward and um
day long an’ though it had
ults of those neek-
gone
Copyright. 1923, Bell Syndicate, Inc.
Ac-
are many reasons
Trance and decided that it
d
MISS MARGARET ANGLIN
nre Mm
F
repr
Instoad or 1,500,000 a
pre-war days, less than a
and
clubu
third -hand - ports of entry.
posture.
Decay Damages Historic
He is the publisher of
• and among the employees at the
\
permitting the federal government'
Night to another
to “go
Regalia with the misfit Tie he had every Frida;
South Sea
made Luminaries and
him
13,
MR. GEORGE ADE’S FABLE DONE IN SLANG
The Modern Aesop Characteristically This Week Relates
non-partisan; he will live out his
days as a partisan; he will die a
i
st
This is one of the
world war did for
have
pur-
year.
Jury A
Work
American ports of entry
been closed to all intents and
million
demand j
which the
defendant.
Perhaps
poses,
as in
This
blunder
will
There
that
least.
paign for the presidential nomina-
tion.
otherwise correct and graceful pos-
tures, spoil the whole picture by
V
Sweet
would
Neff App
Board
Ford was an unknown
not have the price of a
the
up a
which
be a
him.
was
bunk.
taken
Earth,
reader of the Dearborn Independ-
, ent need not be told some of the
9 reasons.
bems and
ii 111
TJSU
| His vast plants are in the west.
He accumulated his huge fortuns
On the City as a Summer Resort
By FINLEY PETER DUNNE
as we was. Were difTreat
IInnissy.
Yap stencilled all over himself.
You may take one of these seif-
MrR,
ton lo.
In
at
Meet
H
"Before he wes out the 2nd time
he had materials on his niblick
for 2 pies."
Mrs
• Fe
Kei
The only time
was when he
ten's pool.
Completion of dam.
City incinerator.
Modern abattoir.
MAN OWES MUCH TO
ENEMIES.
Days of Thursday Afternoon Clubs
and Reading Circles, it’s a Cheap
Grade of Wife who hasn't got the
he-end of the Outfit tied to a Tree
sthrong
men, Hl
was
presi-
cream comes in an’ th' skimmilk
stays; th’ sunburnt viggytables is
ana was a little bigger ’t wud be big
, enough f‘r th' hens an’ ift was [
iga inly hand posi-
“It is one of .the
—Gro
—Dat
—Ree
- Ane
Correct S
Ser
The i
C
lOS Conyr
tions," she says.
most common fa
C. T IT.
Nurses ans
later. it wi
Any man who climbs out of the
ruta to a place of eminence shoula
expect te arrows to be ehot into
his back from below.
- I’m kled to hear ye may that."
said Mr. Hennisny. “I wanted to co
out to th' counthry but I can't un-
less I sthrtke.”
"That's why I said it." replied Mr
Dooley.
American Adventurers
Sailing in South Sea*
FAGO PAGO. American Bamoa--
The American barken tine Narwhal,
manned by a company of "gentle-
memeenkturers ” seeking stirring
1
in th' city, but in th' counthry th'
noises beats on ye’er ear likt car-
_ Its staff had made the discovery
2 that the political man of mystery
3 was about to abandon his Michi-
Ye may say, as Hogan does,
that were ladin' an artificyal life,
be Hi vine, ye might as well tell
me I ought to be paradin' up an'
down a hillside in a suit iv skins,
shootin’ th' antylope an' th' moose,
be gorry, an’ livin in a cave, as to
make me believe I ought to get
along without sthreet cars an’ 11U-
thric lights an’ illyvators an' sody
wather an' ice.
There are two republican states, ।
Connecticut and Rhode Island, j
life and motion picture films
the South Seas, recently arrived
women, who know how to assume
warrum. Hinnissy, Ml not deny it
Th' foot was near enough to me
that I cud smell th’ shingles an’
th' sun had been rollin' on it all
Deride* King George
Face* Sedition Charge
MOOSF JAW, Sask. Charged
with making a neditlous speech at
a meeting of grain growers last
January. Fred McIntyre, a farmer
of the Royal George school district,
south of Caron. Bask , was recently
committed for trial here. He was
released on bail.
a couple wks
i partake of a
himself on
are supposed to slap a pretty godd
midiron between the trees due
north and the next shot is a mashie
straight west to the green.
This hole is called Turn to the
•both of us is very democratic and
or a grave social
Completion of ecenic highwa
system, including road to l ---
----- „ —____hand ________
The child who gets gn I graceful or affected one ”
wan Fve seen.' says he, whackin’
answered him an' they had a long Well friends I would like to sur-
chat. Some other dogs butted in ( price you by saying that I have
to be in companinable. I heard' obtained the above utopia but un-
th’ place an’ qu'te iv th’ counthry,
fr th' turmoil an’ heat.' I says,
•an’ food iv a gr-eat city,’ I says.
— —---‘Stay on th’ farm.’ says I. "Com-
a little srhaller, "t wud be small mune/ I aays, with nature.' I says.
Mouth a /fo* it Ioewa e= it 'Enjoy,' I says, 'th' simple rustic
life iv th’ merry farmer boy that
84
WFFe (
N/ 4' *
$2474
9."34-85.
' 4 h •* -' * T I
that you stick in the ground and
the- look like • tonstool’s young-
est boy.
But during the last round We
had lose all those kind of tees and
bad to use whatever come handy.
One member of the foursome took
out his upper teeth and used them
for a tee on the last hole. But
be gummed hia shot
RING w. LARDNER.
Great Neck, Loong Island, June 21.
Copyright, 1923, By the Bell Syndi-
cate, Inc.
I ed Gentry, because
landed so often.
Bertrand Flappingdale
"2-
pigeons here/ says he. “What's where I can put me hand out early
that? says L That’s a mosquito.’! in th’ mornin’ an hook in a news-
says he. “I thought ye didn’t have I paper," aays I. Th' city.’ says I,
anny here.’ says I. “TIs th’ first is on‘y summer resort Fr a man
that has Iver lived in th' city. I
says. 'An so I come in.
'I got ye that time, assassin.' he
• to meself, 'I'll dhrop off.’ I says.
And there are publiahers in the
city of New York who look upon
this species of journalism as prog-
aze alee reeeved
euhaeutyd.n Hatua PoM la AOw m
Bue Dalby and •■■ ha fri—■
» Mog. • Moa. Yer
ray or two to
dential standardbearer was ditched,
and this led him to say publicly.
“My heart is in the grave.”
He did not make speeches in
make the gestures unconsciously
“And once again let me warn
you.” says Mise Anglin, "no ges-
ture at all is better than an un-
la, British Samoa. The party
...11 proceed for New Caledonia, the
Ellice Islands, the New Hebrides,
the C’olomon Islands, New Guinea
and Guam.
Old London Buildings Api.
LONDON — London is said to be "III
Honor and fortune exist for him
who slways recognises the neigh-
borhood of the great, always feels
himself in the presence of high
causes.— Emerson.
Appolntm
board fron
to assist t
in administ
Towner ma
was annoui
Health offie
First me
council wil
gust 10. It
Members
same is just abort of 3
pet tacks bein’ driven into th’
dhrum. Between th' chirp iv a
cricket an' th' chirp iv th' hammer
“The water ain't only 12 ft. deep
either playing it out or else
------1 ya. I’m iv that turn Sv mind that
Hennessy whin "tis hot I say Us hot an
lave it go at that So I whispers
Mr. Golden don't have no tee
A far-re
operation
Immigratio
federal gon
immigratio
Worked ou
•loner Jose
lowing re
federal bu
The co-
cently out
Commissio
mer state
charge of 1
the federa
Ran Anton
heartily jo
it WAS dec I
The fee
pent borde
Ban Anton
dri ve nn 1
into this
the law. I
Antonio ha
center for
and from
cans are di
tions.
Tickets last from one Saturday
awsy, it’d left a
I may have millions of admirers. He immigration laws millions of Eu-
| may be the financial wonder of ropeans, for economic reasons.
| America. He certatnly is the would come to these shores every
ninth wonder of the world from year. Europe is over-populated,
many points of view but as he has ! deeply in debt, poverty and disease
come down the broad open high- ridden, and not an inviting pUce
{ way he has made enemies and! for the ambitious men and wSm-
r enemies who never forget. There en workers who wish to get on in
r is nothing remarkable about this. I the world.
Bindu Mas A=Eeh-
T. Aacoetatad Feme
eted
“ We ought to live where an th'
good things if live comes Frm.'
says Hogan. 'No/ says I. Th'
place to live in is where all* th'
good things iv life goes to.’ Ivry,
thing that's worth havin’ goes to
th’ city; th' counthry takes what's
lift. Ivrything that's worth havin'
goes to th' city an* is iced Th'
he passed irto
was startling, to
how an' conducted a flock iv sheep enough money he would buy him'
in a steeple chase an' Id just ba- . self a place in the country big
gun f r to wondher how th las enough soashe could have his
thing I thought came into me own private golf course with no
head, whin a dog started to bowl grounds committee to keep mov -
in th' yard. They was a frind; ing back the tees and no bd. of
iv this dog In th nex house that 8’ vernors to apologise to.
ditched; his platform
“'But I must go back," I says, to
th' city,’ I says, 'where there is
nathin to eat but what ye can
buy.’ I says. 'Where th' dust is
laid be th' sprinklin' cart, where
th’ ice-man comes regular an' th'
roof garden is in bloom an’ yt
walked not be th’ sun but be
ran home to get support
New York democrats in a
notice of his Presence on
ent-Tenche
Jesse D .
Mrs. Alecia
Pnso, leagu
Mrs. Marie
plays No. 2 is named Lghtnin" boxes on the course as he says the
as the man that named It had not . water would attract mosquitoes and
yet reached the green. ; they was all ready enough bugs
if a person hooks there tee shot paying him vistts. Ro instead of
on the 1st hole, the ball is libel to using mud to tee your ball on, he
Holes in the Stage
iy doing a very refined
Island Number.
-,222
,3,2
maka known his weak point, . _____ _____
They point out the detects in hl, never wags the
- “"rzo utmf T-- ’
■ n J Si rmi-1- t - r- PASSING OF THE COMMONER.
” Tis way. Hinnessy, th’ coun-
thry was all right whin we was
young and hearty, befure we be-
come enfeebled with luxuries, d'
ye mind. Twas all right whin we
hope that they will be able to
claim entry after July 1, and be
counted in the new yearly allot-
ments.
any time they get on me hearth
I buy me a pound iv insect powd-
ho wore
; smoked Egyptian Cigarettes and
। attended Junior Proms during the
j Ineubartor Period. He had been
too busy trying to make the Meal
partisan regardless
of Benatoi
1 Name of this particular Confection.
In Our Set he was known as Bertie.
Meintyre la alleged t, hnve mnde
tn, nedittous remarke during a die.
cusaton nn tilen, and |, rharj, a
with having aald:
"I count myneitt aa good a man
as King Geroge. I would not be
ncared to challenge him to a foot
race, to wrentie, or to fieht, al-
though ha l, tod up In a box atall
on chotee food. If I had my way,
I would take a club and stand at
the border and knock Iha brains
out of svsryons that cams into Iha
country with a Ulla I would make
no mintake about it. aa I know
where to kit them.”
error, time to go to bed. He boosted
y a man mhoud thank the cotton growers snd ths .
for Iha ememtes he has made , this year should be heavy.
go down the mountain into Little given you these little wooden tnnn
Neck bay but the water ain't only
that they are made uncongclousif.
Nearly every Woman know, more Theuntyudied.sooturetsmade con-
than her Husband, but it helpe "SMuSIYaneineveuprt that everv
romorhe,ha qray Matter mother of 1 d.u^bt’er .hou*d ug
thenpak on?i to give h« n"rant early in lesnon correct ’ ‘
Cues. But in years would be a
her that no gesture at all is far
better than one out of harmony
with the rest of you. When you
have found that you do add to your
personality by certafn gestures. In-
corporate them into yourself by
practice. They will not become
truly beautiful and beneflcial to
your appearance until they have be-
come so thoroughly part of you
ll ft deep and you have to get the
choice of either playing it out or
else you can take a penalty of one
stroke and drop another ball acrost
the bay at Douglaston manor
The last named can’t be more
than a mile and a 1-1 or 1 mile*
from Bayside and if they ain’t no-
body using Mr. Golden’s ear, he
will leave you take it to get to the
seen of your 3rd shot
Otherwise they’s a bus runs along
the main rd. from Flushing to Ros-
lyn which will drop you within 3-4
rere not for the drastic
this cault.
tsi False Teeth for Tees.
Today’s Thought
If any man desire to be first, the
same shall be last of all and
servant of all.—Mark 9:35.
these daysr" asked Mr
Haven t ye heerd?
Dooley. ' Dorsey’s
atehagaraitedtot or got and a string of farm papers Now
andel the senator has taken over the
W e- e-te E malline IUU or the Commoner, j pty.r ‘ !porhesrd l^om.
William Jennings Bryans paper, counthry squire He's landed gin-
'which recent, gae. try, like me folks in th" 01 dart,
which recently cegaed publication. He lives out among th’ bur-rd an
W J B. established the Com - ' th" buga, in a house that looks like
• a a ____ a cuckoo clock.
CM moner, a weekly newapaper, many , .
10.00 — In an, hour or two yell see
15.00years og© This followed his de- him go by to catch the five five.
is either
Central C
Specii
Special n
feature of
evening at
church whe
•Ing a con
Feed His
Storrs Gaei
will play
playing the
thr cornet.
e< company
William G.
Ing chorus
Render,” foi
His choice for
AUSTIN AMERICAN. AUSTIN. TEXAS. SUNDAY MORNING, JUNE U, 1923.
' *------------ ’ —
his arm.
" Th* wife is goin* away nex’
week.' he says, ‘do ye come out
an’ spind a few days with me.'
he says. . "Not while I have th’
strenth to stay here.’ says I.
. , "Well,’ ho says, ‘maybe.’ he says,
that campjaign. He renounced m r-run in an" see ye" he says.
Nebraska and became a citizen of "Is there annything goin’ on at th’
Florida. He accepted evolution as | th eaytres "he. says.
, I Dooley’s Night in the Country,
the greatest living issue and not "I wanst spint a night in th-
counthry, Hinnissy. Twas whin
Hogan had his villa out near th’
river. Twas called a villa to dis-
have tinguish it fr’m a house. If ‛t
of a mile of where you want to go
During the wk this bus runs every
hour but the service is bettor on
Saturday so that is ths best time
to hook your tee shot unlest the
rest of the foursome ain t in no
hurry
Salsifyde in ths Oyster Plants
You often hear of people brags
ing about there pet golf course and
saying this or that hols is the
sportiest hole in the world. Well
friends I tip my $2 00 ha to ths 3d.
hole at the Golden dub. This holo
is l»0 yards in length and the fair-
ALIENS.
Italy will send 42.000 immigrants
to the United States the coming ____
fiacal year, beginning July 7, analkesp. ,th' place. _
I "But Tm a survivor Iv th' -
Rome reat fire an I often go down to
batch of rollin' mill, an' besides, mind
changeless. There was only one
was the
they get
motes? A mu without enemies 1,
a man without triends. And a
mana enemies have more to do
with his suecess than hl, trlends.
man from going
to aleep at the switch. Enemies
Arthur Capper or any other sun-
From the moment when he looked
uprat her and saw that she had
they"se a little rain.’ he says. “fo!-
he bar! in mI,- -44, ------- He is dead. । lowed by some dhryness," he says.
-There is only one Wodrow Wilson. Ye mustn’t mind thlm,* he says.
Jory. If th. politicai mu of my,-lH1, name is enshrinea tn thesAmoyguitoony,lvesfr,a.day,:
1 5 o ” way,to 1 * ite hearts of hl. countrymen. There a merry wan' ny, I. -Do they
7 why _ he um a stopas only one wuam Jenningslaie „ I mya, so
over in the city ot New York? i _ „ ! he fen down through th' thrap
Bryan. He came u a crusader, dure an' left me alone.
He la a product or the west he ie alone in hi. class and he will "Wel I sata me prayers an' got
— e-doe w . mlinto bed an" lay there, thinkin’
crusader until death call, ty me past life an wondhening
ir th' house was on nre. TwaS
H" alone. But the tall' be got real Gabby
Henry Ford, the political man
| or mystery, paid a flying visit to many weeks ago the Commoner,
the city or New Tork Bustness Ike an things perishable, passed
■ over he made almost a flying run on. Now its mailing list,
f oa return trip to the city or De-. been sola to a republican
troit A great Amentcan news- under the agreement w. J. B. is
paper, publiehed on Manhattan la-1 to contribute to the publication, enough fr a dog it loowed asi
land, carried a front pag. story gotne to the former commoner was.made. with a scroll saw,
nut Hogan mannyfacthered it him-
, subscribers, but nothing over his self out iv a design in th’ pa-aper.
________ _____a partisan How to make a counthry home on
|__. ” two thousan’ dohlars Puzzle:
.—.. cissEam
moner waa th. organ, th. Bibi., horn, at ill ven o'clock ah If 25 an pouneuna sagcsati
lot thousands of Bryanaca. They "e,."TEot, *? lave th" lanthern an' l waa thinkin' Id take a nap
Austin. . , I swor that “ was the nving go5- Soun on • hand*” an'' kneth ma wabuzsneln reegtsgndpe.
Commiseioner-manmgentorme pel of th. new atspensation. tree ’ see him Ias‛ night in at th ! Ive heera iv th' erickets on th
eity governmen I . .. w . dhrug athore buyin' 11. Iv pepper- hearth. Hinnissy. an' I used to
Adequate supply of pure water. Suver and all. Meanwhile W. J mint fr the face. think they “ “
Count..Ibrram. — I B. had incorporated himseir and I -Tia a gran' life in th' coun-
B:"uriricxt”onporBron-pring- sola his writing political anathrysaxehe,Tar.hesays,rm
"ghwaz otherwise, to many of the lead-
ing newspapers.
but don’t spread th’ news yet Fr
awhile. I'm goin’ to advertise'
'Dooleyville be th’ river. Within I
six siconds iv threet cars an' rail- SAN FRANCISCO, June M.—If
way thrains an' asy reach iv th-; you think you are slipping in
theaytres an* ambulances Spind esteem among your friends, that
th’ summer far fr*m the busy ' your personality is waning, watch
hunts iv th’ fly an’ th’ bug be' your hands. Many women make a
th’ side if th’ purlin ice wagon? | poor impression on others, declares
I'll do it. I tell ye I'll organ-ize Margaret Anglin, famous American
excursions an’ TU have th poqr ivactress, just because they do not
th* counthry in here. I'll take thlm ' know how to use these important
to th’ ball-game an’ th' the-aytre; appendages.
Ill lave thlm sleep till breakfast
time an’ I’ll sind thlm back to
you can take a penalty."
Right and might state at
junction that all the holes
named after Mr Golden’s clean
is light There are two
goes whistlin' to his wurruk befure
breakfast,' says I.
Into a peaceful alumber, I says, I To the editor:
'like th* healthy ploughboy that I Breaths they a golfer single sr
am/ says I. • wed who never to himseif has said
“An 1 counted as far as I knew that if he ever got a hold of
r—
al.
With a
thorough c
where its g
Travis cou
June term
investigatio
morning. "
Friday aft
after brtngl
indictments
true bill* st
elnr on Mot
It to belle
Will comple
v eek For
said yeste
work was
the jury ho
before the
th madding crowd.' says 'hi Ye hernraratherhaveapiawnola.on
; 2-."
escaPe. th dust .an grime, iv th tos an* crickets an mosquitoes an'
4
The Austin American wirhour memtes be mignt nu
M a i trom his high place and return to
slowly crumbling away, or at least
most of' the historic buildings are
decaying.
In an effort tn ascertain the cause
of this crumbling of apparently in-
soluble stonework, the government
has appointed a committee of scieh-
tific experts to thoroughly probe
the matter.
It In known that stone used in
one part of the country will stand
unaffected, but if used in another
it will decay. This is a mystery
the experts hss to probe, and it will
take considerable time, for It In*
volves questions of chemistry, bi-
ology and physics. Among the
buildings needing immediate atten-
tion are the famous Carlton Club,
Tower of Lonon, Houses of Par-
lament. Holyrood Castle and Tin-
torn Abhey.
early start toward hand and arm
gracefulness has an asset that every
woman covets, she declares, and
one which will reach its highest
perfection when it “grows up with
the girl.” To do this. instruct the
child never to make an obvious gpa-
ture—that is, one so pronounced as
to center attention on the hands.
Teach her to make the simplest
gestures possible which yet bring
out the full force of the conversa-
tion. And, above all, teach her to
be great Fun to to have an actress
for a Wife.
He cut a Picture trom the Roto-
gravure Section and wore it in his
Card Case. Finally he met the
•oft-shoe Divinity and they had
many thlhgs to talk about, as she
had met several of his Fraternity
Brothers in a College Town of
which she had forgotten the Name.
He told her it was a Small Word
and from that Point the Conver-
nation became mors general in its
source.
The courtship was carried on un-
der difficulties as there was always
tn Orchestra playing about eight
feet away, but everything looked
favorable, as she was accepting
Jewelry, with many expressions of
Delight.
Then the Troupe left town, just
as Flappngdale, Hr. was arranging
to have a Com nil salon of Lunacy
sit on the Case.
Bert aaw the Red Ught disap-
pear in ths Railway Yards and
realised that he had played his
Violets on the Wrong Number, for
she had whispered to him, that
she was married to the Advance
Agent. (,
The Busy Lovr always goes
from one Extreme to another, so
the next Crack out of the Box
what does Brash Bertie do but get
himsel all worked up to a tem-
perature of 104 over the kind that
is known as Terribly Bright?
The one he was determined to
Marry, unless somebody got out an
Injunction, sat around in an off-
color kind of Mother Hubbard and
handed out Brilliant Prattle that
was good enough to b taken down
in Shorthand and put right into a
Book. Rhe threw her Search-Light
on Helpless Bertrand and dazzled
him to a Flop. She got him into
a Corner and told him of the
Yearnings of her Soul and all about
her Empty Life and how she had
groped for an Affinity, and A
though he muffed a good many of
her Out Curves, he realised that
he was in the Presence of one
who would take him by the Hand
and show him a lot of Things that
he had never been wlee to so Tet.
So he wanted to marry her and sit
around all Day with his Head on
her Shoulder and have her talk
Copy, worth about 8 cents a Word.
Father noticed that he was off
his Feed and looking wild out of
Twenty-four years ago Henry third of * million are admitted to
He asathe. United States through the
Once there was a long-headed
Father who had taken the Junior
into the Downtown Office and was
trying to eradicate the Greek and
Latin from his System.
Bon would have preferred a posi-
tion without Office Hours, says
Chairman of the Shipping Board or
Member of the Interstate Com-
merce Commission, but Dad was
very unreasonable and peremp-
tory and did not seem to realise
that a young and growing Boy
of 23 needs a lot of rest in the
Morning.
So a mighty good Saxophone
player was demoted to the rank
of Employee and the Smoking
Jacket became practically useless.
The Junior was a Lovely Chap
whose Clothes came to about twice
his Salary He resembled the
smooth-faced Hero of a Custom
Tailor Advertisement. By keeping
his Hair glued down and wearing
the right shape of Collar, likewise
holding up his end in light-weight
Conversation, he had managed to
elbow his way into the Front Row
of that Select Division of the
Humane Race known as the Land-
in the west. And he is the only
- j westerner, the only American for
g that matter, who ever had the
3 nerve to risk a bout with the fin-
that failed to ratify the eighteenth
amendment There to a emo-
eratic state, Maryland, that Is
ing a stage career, where hands
play a very important part. And.
started on observatlons along this
line. I find it a prevalent fault of
our women ”
To get your personallty "across"
it is essential that ths hands be
used properly, she declares if you.
as a hostess, wish to welcome your
guests cordially to your hone,
smiles and kind words are not
enough. To make the guests feel
absolutely welcome, the picture of
your joy at seeing them must be
complete. The hands must syn-
chronise in this picture with the
other welcoming symptoms. How
is this to be done?
"Well" nays MIm angfin, "begin
by not trying to study certain ges-
tures to accompany certain words
or phrases. This would lend to ar-
tiflclallty and artificiality f« the
unforgivable sin in the category of
gesture. Stuy your hands, even
though they are not pretty;* they
can be made to seem so by proper
use. Experiment until you find
positions in which yours are seen
to beet advantahe Then practice,
allowing them to gesture slightly th
accor with what You are saying
Ree if they truly emphasize your
words. If they do not, then do
not gesture st all. Always remem-
in America; he has more ready the American nation and the
cash than any man in the world American people.
and has mors business activities! Organised labor fought for re-
say the
This continued until the com- citv he gayg an T,-,4, ,-,,e qznEt un nonqusvoes an
, .. . _ t cuy. ne saya an watsh th squrisja screech owl an’ mosquitos an’
ing of the Ban Francisco con ven- at play, he says. ’Whin I walk ' a whip-poorwill an' mosquitos an'
tion.in.1n20wdere w, J. R de-ine"t-nygeserdin bminFSupa"iinrkmnorsnrnan: moaqumg‛s"enn
cided to write the platform tor hope...an’ hear me own cow low-f whin th’ sun bounched up an'
the democrats of America, and in’ at th’ gate iv th’ fence, he punched me in th’ eye at four, I
in . .. says, "I f’rget," he says that they’se I knew what th’ truth is, that th
found himself in a hopeless, as such a thing as a jint to be wiped
well as a painful, minority. He or a sink to be repaired.’ he says.
was ditched; his plattorm was He had • box or viggvtables an’
A can iv condensed milk undher
caraeter or his program They
keep Mo oo the alert They keep
him guessine They hoop him
moving They compel him to pot
forth M. very boot ettorta.
Vrendn never do these things
I away from his He and rub him
with Silk Underwear, for years.
i but you cannot iron the IJ nee of
I Rugged Character from his Front-
piece or separate him from the
Homely Doctrines that were called
> to his Attention by means of a
Hickory Gad some 40 years earlier
in the Game.
i Consequently, the elder Flapping-
dale did not hit It off to any large
Extent with Bertie’s Friends, most
of whom had their Name in the
Society Column 365 Days in the
Year. But not one of them could
have figured a 2 per cent Discount
unless he had taken a Day off
They did not care for Business,
but Business never seemed to Lan-
, guish much on their Account.
One of the Hard Jobs that Fate
had mapped out for Flappingdale.
Senior, was to prevent his blue-
eyed Offspring from being abducted
and snaked .away to the Altar
The Trougle was that Bertie want-
ed to be Abducted. About every
Change of the Moon he would be-
gin to act more or less Dippy and
cut the Office altogether and go
Girl Hunting in his cream-col-
ored Roadster. Then the head of
the Works wold have to call him
* In and put some Cracked Ice on
him and let him cooled down.
The first one to lay him out
and have him Fluttering was a
VO-pounder about six weeks from
the Nursery. The cold-blooded
Governor begged him not to rob
the Cradi~, and wanted to know
something about her Knowledge of
Housekeeping, which is invariably
• Swift Jolt for Love's Young
Dream.
Father had a brief Chat with
the Wren one evening and got a
lot of rich dope on Valentino, of
whom he had never heard up to
that time. It occurred to him
that the simplest way out of the
Situation was for him to go to a
Department store and buy a cheap
Gun and kill one or both of the
Household Pete, but Mother de-
murred and told him to wait a
while and ponsibly the Debutante
would die from smoking Cizarettes.
While Bertrand was waiting for
a Chance to elope with the Bud
a Now Show came to Town, and
there sipped across the Horizon
of his Fresh Young Life a Baby
A big i
Travis co
clubs and
vision of
s tration 1
chamber
Saturday,
a m. unc
Lois C
demonstra
E Davis,
tion agen
terday.
cud sthand it. But
would be even 3s was the course
a 9 hole course instead of a 4 hole
course.
On acct of Mr. Golden’s passion
; for cleanness, all patrons is re-
quested to hit all there shots clean
and use a new ball every other
hole. Most customers won't have
no difficulty observing the last
named rule.
Into 12 Feet of Water.
Well the 1st hole !■ a dog’s leg
and the dog must of been ran over
The political man of mystery if it
8.00 600
8.75 1.50
at th' mills, ll take th' hammer
I can go to sleep in a boiler shop
but I spint th' rest iv that night
at Hogan s seatin' in th* bath tub
; The Place to Live la Where the
Good Things of Life Goos To.
“I saw him in th* mornin at
breakfast. We had canned peaches
an* condensed milk. Ye have ye’er
valise,’ says he. 'Aren't ye goin to
stay ovr "I am not,’ says I
'Whin th’ first rattler goes by
ye’ll see me on th’ platform fleein”
to hie credit than any ton men. stricted immigration for fifty years
long Time to sit at one end of the
Dining Room Table feeling about
the size of a Roach. I have known
sevral specimens of the Victim
who marries the Woman who is
going to lead him on and on. She
leads thlm on and on until he be-
gins to Blow, and then she usually
goes dq and on with something
wearing Ribbons on his Eye-
Glasses If I were you I should
marry some one of about my own
Mental Caliber. Of course, you
may have to hunt a long time, but
when you locate her you can tell
that she is the Right Kind. Any
one who will agree to Marry you
la in ybur Clam, and you can
gamble on that ”
“I have tried the Innocent Young
Thing. The Sophisticated Trouper,
and the Cultured Club Girl, and
you kick on all of them.” said Ber-
trand.
‘They are all Nice Girls." mid
Mr. Flappingdale. "Let’s wait until
we spot one who naeda the chas-
teeing influrnce of a Great Borrow
and then w will put up a Good
Joke on herx‛ ,
MORAL: N la • Wise Father
who can diagnose his own Mis-
takes. I
V ~~
(Copyright, 1928, by the Beil Ji
Syndicwte, Inqdeenmesmi
E
men who never gtVndhuHfhey ton-yreonin: ht°sah,
B. Is one of the afther a heavy rain or a heavy
dhry spell.’ he says, 'or whin
Shop he was known as a Goof.
Bert s Psthway in Life had been
so nicely lubricated and every one
had been no awfully Good to him
that often he felt reasonably Cer-
tain that the Earth and the Full*
nem thereof had been dished up
especlally for his Benefit and he
could cancel the Order any time
that he saw FIL
Flappingdale. Senior, had never
foursome on
two daily newspapers
wurruld. Mind ye. there s a roar
yds wide.
Right acrost the fairway and
about 34 yds. short of the green, to
rows of assorted vegetables A
topped tee shot that rolls off the
fairway to the right lands in the
rhubarb and may be justly called
a sourt shot. One of the parties
to our foursome done this twice
during the P. M. and before he
was out the 3d. time he had ma-
terials on his niblick for 2 pim.
Personly 1 hooked to the cucum-
ber bed and when we found my ball
I I made the remark to the caddy
that I was certainly in a pretty
; pickle. He laughed heartily.
Mr. Golden himself pretty near
: cleared the last row of oyster plants
' and said he was perfectly salei-
fyde
The card gives the par on this
hole as 3 but if anybody ever
makes it in that figure it will half
to be after the Goldens has played
host to a convention of vegetarians.
Will not make no effort to de-
scribe the rest of the holes in de -
tail only to say that if the 1st 5
is tough, the 4th is tougher as
your 2d shot has to go tbrought
ths wood where the Emperor Jones
watched ths row yr. in. All and
all they was only 3 made in our
3 trips around the course. this
honor falling to none other then
Buster Brown's father. Dick Out-
car. Now, be is the richest manthings that the
There are
change. W. J.
Hogan rollin' in bod an' thin 1
lucky the place I refer to as my,
country estate has just about got ,
rh. for 3 regulation mumbledypeg
courts.
I do happen to know a man how-
over who has recently completed
a 4 hole links on his own property
and whereas this man used to go
down town every A. M., and die-.
tate a lot of souvenir post cards,
why now days he won't even accept.
a position as pall bearer unless the i
funeral is a mashie pitch from
home.
The gent in question is none
other than John Golden a producer
of clean plays and the Golden Golf'
club, as some one has aptly turned
iL is located on the high the above
Little Neck bay herd by the buxom
little city of Bayside. Long s Is-
land. Mr Golden is also a mem-
ber of the Hole in 12 club and au-
thor of a standard golf text book
entitled the Stance for the Sth
Brassey.
It is the writer's good fortune
to be a friend of Mr. Golden as the
paper That newspaper from timeday. Not because of the demand
to time printed some very pointedof organised labor but for the
articles. Henry Ford inspired reason that conditions not only
them. He not only inspired but demanded but jusutied the exclu-
he aasumed responsibilty for sion.
them. Why shouldn't he have one- ----- ...--
consumed by th* hearty farmer boy!
an’ I go down to Callaghan's store I
an* ate th* sunny half iv a peach
Th’ farmer boy sells what he has
fr money an’ l get th’ money back !
whin he comes to town in th' win-
ther to see th' exposition. They
give us th products Iv th' sile an' I
we give thlm cottage organs an’’
knocK-out drops, an’ they think:
they’ve broke even
‘Don’t lave annyone con-vince
ye th’ counthry’s th’ place to live.;
news-and then it happened almost in a
the Eyes, so hs called him In and
wanted to know the name of the
New One.
“Cut it out,” said he when he
had learned the Horrible Truth.
"Home is not a Lecture Bureau I
don’t blame any Man for marrying
a Woman who has got the intel-
lectual Bulge on him. In these
find th’ money.'
"Hogan kidnaped me wan aft-
hernoon an’ took me out there in
Contesti
livesiock
the morn
Ing to op
boys, Jy
first sect
will also
noon.
During
show sta
ths count
among th
rally. T
contest wi
ernoon.
A bask
swimming
bars and i
afternoon
tertainmer
Ervin and
boys and
here Ch
bring well
bsket din
an all-daj
Stratton a
make the
of the wh
G
“Wo ha
ships for t
college ar
stock jut
bread, but
contests w
with all i
represent
atate cont
yesterday
"Ail glr
eligible to
hole conte
ble should
Directions
been sent
are asked
snd meonej
ing and b
axe hi bit o
wishing ti
•nd bread
asked to i
mediately
for makin
them and
judging ma
There are two million American
wheat farmers. They produce
more whent than can be eonsumed
at home and the foreign demand
their overcrowded homes to dhream
iv th’ happy life in town. I will
so ”
Sundny MMm Oa» la Texaas
(WM. Br--a T---m- IW « All
■ anciers of Wall street and then
I "in.the decislon. Henry Ford the commtason in
' inowttheknow any thing, that has belectea the batch or
Wall street is not for him and - ...
never wia . -v, 17,200, giving the highest types of
never would be for him. This*
woua hola rood ir he made hi. workers tn the new
way to the white House. quote* All quotas fOr th!.
- I except Germany’s, have been filled.
Henn Ford knows, if he knows Germans are not comine to
| anythine. that the political mu- America Those who desert the
| ter of the state at New York «r. fatherlAnd go to Brar II or other
■ Mt his friends and nver will be I south American countries. Ac- Ft l 1 e l n . . .
1 metroponacranas.e r.—- Fable of the Ripe Persommon and the Plucked Flower
be the enemies country, coming to the Unitea states |n the ______________________________________________________________________________________________________
told how ha used to work for
4 a Week and plant 1100 a year
in the Building and Ioan Associa-
tion. It had been many years
since they took his Bolle Dinners
away from his and made him oat
8 west breads, but he was still a
Farmer at Heart. And when they
threw him into rhe long-tailed
that history was
feat for the presidency in 1896. Mnt"any‛ricatchve.t Pecausaathnze
As An excuse for its foundine or makes up th’ ume-tadle found las
publication the peerless orator and wek that if he adn t get sway
lender notinea his readers that ths Ft an httgudoone rid* Al? hl's
press of ths country was con- changed th' five five to four forty- j
trolls by Wall street and un-eiehE Dorsey wu wait Fr th’
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The Austin American (Austin, Tex.), Vol. 10, No. 10, Ed. 1 Sunday, June 24, 1923, newspaper, June 24, 1923; Austin, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1465667/m1/4/: accessed July 4, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; .