Denton Record-Chronicle (Denton, Tex.), Vol. 59, No. 110, Ed. 1 Sunday, December 17, 1961 Page: 39 of 44
forty four pages : ill. ; page 21 x 16 in. Digitized from 35 mm. microfilm.View a full description of this newspaper.
Extracted Text
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movies and still have $18 left ”
- Dan Bennett
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The System Never Fails
—Richard Arnnmr
Repeatedly.
"Hot dog! One of us is gaining weight!"
local housewives were sitting
After morning coffee, the
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Family Wcekly. December 17. 1961
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Quips and
Quotes
NEW
FROM
BRISTOL
MYERS
CORRECT
WEIGHT
To a Gentleman
Christmas Shopping
• ;
30
CD
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If ordinary tablets aren’t enough, try...
New Excedrin
THE EXTRA -STRENGTH PAIN REUEVER
If the price of the giftie
Is somewhat higher
than $29.50,
Whatever you buy her,
-
Excedrin
EXTRA-STRENGTH PAIN REUEVER
I
Believe me, brother.
She'll simply love it
If it's something that other
Women covet!
—Georgie Starbuck Galbraith
F '.
"sam.
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If pain really bothers you, you want something extra.
Excedrin’ is 50% stronger than aspirin for relief of head-
ache pain, tablet for tablet. New Excedrin gives you:
1. A fast-acting pain reliever.
2. A long-lasting pain reliever.
3. A tension reliever to relax you.
4. An anti depressant to lift your spirits.
Excedrin has more kinds of ingredients and more quan-
tity of ingredients than any leading pain tablet. Yet
Excedrin is so safe you need no prescription. To relieve
pain of headache, sinus, cramps—even temporary re-
lief of minor arthritic pain-try Excedrin, the extra-
strength pain reliever.
.‘ . 2.2. 0 7 21■ ■
He had just arrived at his office when his wife tele-
phoned. "What am I going to do," she complained. "I
want to go to the movies with our new neighbor, and
I haven’t got a penny.”
"Stay home," was the gruff advice, "and see what
you can get on the television set.”
When he got home that night, his wife met him at
the door with a smile. "Thanks for the advice, darling."
she said. “I did as you said, and I was able to go to the
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A patient parent, I don't mean
To speak too sternly, heatedly:
My children come when they are called.
Provided only that they're called
3.2
5
Be it crisp and shiny
Or soft and furry
Or large or tiny.
You needn't worry.
fekeN
around talking about their husbands. “No. ’ said one, "I have
no objections to my husband smoking cigars. It’s so cozy. Be-
sides, I find the aroma of a fresh cigar pleasant."
“Well," another wife remarked, “I don’t know about being
cozy and pleasant, but I like my husband to smoke cigars be-
cause if he mentions economies, I can tell him where to begin."
—E. C. O’Connor
N
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The only thing some people do on time is buy.
—r. P. Mealiffe
WRU..
98
g--.
An aggressive professional fund raiser had
badgered a famous movie star for months for
a contribution to his current charity client.
So far he had been unsuccessful, and now
he determined to strike at the actor's weak-
est point—his love for children.
He searched a slum neighborhood and
found a skinny, dirty-faced urchin. "Take
this $1,000 check to Mr. Heartbreak," he told
the boy, “and explain to him that this char-
ity is set up for the ‘Helpless Boys of Amer-
ica'—kids just like yourself. If you talk him
into signing the check, I’ll give you $5.”
The boy never returned, but days later the
fund raiser located him. “Didn't you get that
movie star to sign?" he asked.
“Oh, he signed right away," the kid said
casually “Then I ran into a fan club of his
and sold his autograph for 10 bucks."
—John Shotwell
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Denton Record-Chronicle (Denton, Tex.), Vol. 59, No. 110, Ed. 1 Sunday, December 17, 1961, newspaper, December 17, 1961; Denton, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1478893/m1/39/: accessed July 9, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Denton Public Library.