The Bellville Times (Bellville, Tex.), Vol. [44], No. 13, Ed. 1 Friday, March 31, 1922 Page: 3 of 8
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THE BELLVILLE TIMES
Just
—A
m
OLE
Healthy Housewife—Happy
•m
POLITE INDEED
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mice, five of them quite large.
bora.
Lnst night Charlie
■
Bilious • Liver
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him.
v0s
MahVe
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4
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tn.
TN.
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her out yesterday we fixed a
we got
in there
$
Thedford’s
BLAGK-DRAUG
ID
-
(Vegetable)
I
Liver Medicine
a • 772845318
For
At
♦
mnls
/A
Under Conversational Cover.
Old Satan favors discontent.
Our lofty plans to balk;
He often starts an argument
And works while others talk.
Biliousness
indigestion
Sour Stomach
A pessimist’s life is seldom as great
a burden to him as it is to his neigh-
I
i
Rheumatism
Neuritis •
Pain, Pain
Colds
Toothache
Earache
By
Booth
Tarkington
Headache
Neuralgia
Lumbago
Headache
Colds
Dizziness
1 (Rwe*
AyIRs
___
For Constipated Bowels
There Is a vigorous demand for a
device that will compel a man to shut
up when he has said enough.
A smile is merely a little noiseless
laugh.
The man who does right seldom geta
left.
W
T
A UNION OF
INTEREST TO
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
Form Many
ith onlylwit
I't wathil"
EXPANSION
"What an unusually large mouth
he has."
"Yea, it reaches from ear to ear,
and his ears appear to have been set
back, In order to make room for it"
1
Reason for Faith.
Mrs. Maggs- I believe In profiteers.”
Especially in Cold Weather.
Jack Hurryup—On my salary of $25
a week we can get along swimmingly.
Hattie Holdback- But I don't care
for swimming.
relief from my troubles by t
Lydia E. Finkham’s Vegetable
suffered excru-
। throughout her
use Wallis dis-
Beck sent her a
umorist’s many,
that valentine’s
Reading,
wreck and
Compound
New Orleans, La.—"I ha1
Accept only "Bayer” package which contains proper directions.
Handy “Bayer" boxes of 12 tablets—Also bottles of 24 and 100—Druggista.
XiplrlB la th* trade mark °r Bayer Manufacture of Momonceticacidestet •< 6aleycea
.. Oopyrighs, Ml
by uh Bell Synaicaie, 1na
Ales Hae Power.
Bon—Father, what’s the difference
between majority and minority?
Father-Wen, a majority roles. my
boy, bat a minority tells It bow to do
I1; . ielf-kt
r ’ Dirinterval
I rellelng""be
Luce. B’Georgie
Lonc' d
dity. tings of
liate squa traji
tomachbide wh
vorite H or Ge
osts odl) Wall
ns belt Floret
’ e sobei
mlle T
Ln a prir and
ipiesir,Jr.t
A friend induced me to take your
Vegetable Compound and I have got
great results from it I keep house
and am able to do all my own work.
I recommend your Vegetable Com-
pound tomy friends who have troubles
similar to mine.”—Mrs. T. FOEK-
LER, 1915 N. Derbigny St., New Or-
leans, La.
Some men are of no more conse
quence than it thermometer on a pleas
lint day.
Classical Difficulty.
"Yon admit that you try to avoid
classical rusic?"
“As a rule," confessed Mr. Cumrox,
I dm’t object to Iwa ring it, but I
don't like to run the risk of getting
into conversation about it and being
called upon to pronounce some Rus
sian composer's name."
Little
Mild Humor.
“How is the repartee at your board-
ing house?"
"Bather poor."
“Yes.”
“Since our star boarder left moat
of the snappy replies have fallen to
an elderly spinster who has been
teaching the young Idea to shoot for
the last thirty years."
A wealthy man had engaged a new
coachman who was advised to be vory
polite if he wished to keep his place.
Accordingly, when the master vis-
ited the stable this dialogue ensued:
Master—Well, J< hn, how are the
horses?
Coachman—They are quite well, sir,
thank you; and how are you?—Scots-
man.
Knew That Before.
“Don't you know that the popula-
tion of London is more dense than
that of New York?" remarked the
Englishman.
“Of course I do,” replied the Amerl-
can. “I have often tried to make a
Londoner see the point of a New
York joke.”
Realms of imagination.
“What do you think of the poets?"
“I never used to cure for them,” re-
plied Senator Sorghum, “but I'm be-
ginning to think it would be better if
more ladies and gentlemen practiced
poetry writing instead of letting their
fancies take the form of suggestions
for new political systems.”
way so’s she'll never get
Home Dinners.
Mrs. Blackstone—‘Is your husband
fond of home cooking?
Mrs. Webster—Oh, yes; we have
dinner every night in n restaurant that
makes a speclalty of It!
a Wilbople
3M5aa
nave
rTpu, a
• Pa—"I
l could han
pound and I praise it wherever
I could not do my work m it al
be done for I would so me times
to lie down because of the pains I
no Susan, you
{AJINTERSMIT
H CHILLTONI
Not Only For Chills, Fever a
BUT A FINE GENERAL TO
Mrs. Naggs—Oh,
don't really.
“Oh, yes, I do! ]
22
7v
id
1
tonight will empty your bowels com-
pletely by morning and you will feel
splendid. “They work while you
sleep.” Cascarets never stir you up
or gripe like Salts, Pills, Calomel,
or oil, and they cost only ten cents
a box. Children love Cascarets too.
The worst thing about a bore is
that it is almost impossible to insult
The nicest cathartic-laxative to
physic your bowels when you have
Fairly Well Started.
A Baltimore business college re-
ceived the followmg communication:
“I wish you would let me know how
mutch it costes to lern tiperiting. I al-
ready kno how to spel."
ead-hnnt
■■bin witi
ASMcould it
_maatlon of
CASCF" elvikda life
an«eMackmail; even
stances, Herbert was among the
guests; and, though rather at a dis-
advantage, so far as the conversation
was concerned, not troubled by the
handicap. The reason he was at a
conversational disadvantage was
closely connected with the unusual
supply of refreshments: Uncle Joseph
and Aunt Carrie had foreseen the
coming of several more Atwaters than
usual, to talk over the new affairs of
their beautiful relative, Julia. Sal-
dom have any relative’s new affairs
been more thoroughly talked over than
were Julia's that evening,'though all
the time by means of various symbols,
since It was thought wiser that Her-
bert and Florence should not yet be
told of Julia’s engagement, and Flor-
ence's parents were not present to
confess their indiscretion, Julia Was
referral to as "the traveler," and other
makeshifts were employed with the
most knowing caution; and all the
.while Florence merely ate inscrutably.
The more sincere Herbert was as
placid; such foods were enough for
him.
“Well, all I say is. the traveler bet-
ter enjoy herself on her travels,” said
Aunt Fanny finally. as the subject
appeared to he wearing toward ex-
haustion. "She certainly is In for It
when the voyaging is over and she
arrives in the port she sailed from,
and bus to show her papers. I agree
with the rest of you; she'll have a
great deal to answer for, and most
of all about the shortest one. My
own opinion Is that the shortest one is
going to burst like a balloon."
“The shortest one,” as the demure
Florence had understood, from the
first, was her Ideal—none other than
Noble Dill. Now she looked up from
the stool where she sat with her back
against a pilaster of the mantelpiece.
"Unele Joseph," she said—"I was Just
thinking. What is a person’s reason?”
The fat gentleman, rosy with fire-
light and cider, finished his fifth glass
before responding. “Well, there are
1 he“
Alwaz’e
ply whdat
it’ssptdre
cd, ac315
Not Registering Well,
thought those photographers
For the ailing, half-sick housewife
such a union is possible. Often
times even the slightest form of
housework cannot be accomplished.
Yet the work must be done.
Many women struggle along for
years suffering from some form of
female trouble that make their Uvea
miserable and their homes far from
happy:
Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable
Compound has helped thousands of
just such women regain their health
and strength. Just give your thought
to the following letters and remem-
ber that the women who wrote these
letters knew how they felt before
taking the Vegetable Compound and
again afterwards. It helped them—
let it help you.
Had Nervous Spells
Horatio, Ark. —“I had nervous
spells and awful bad feelings. My
right side and my back hurt me all
the time and I had been going dowrt
in health for six or seven years. For
three years I had not been able to do
my work without help. I weighed
only 95 pounds when my husband’s
mother persuaded me to take Lydia
E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound.
Now I heartily recommend it to all
suffering women, as I have gained
weight and health. I can do all my
work, anything I want to do.”—Mrs.
JIM REARICK, Horatio, Arkansas.
A Fish at a Mousetrap.
A large brook trout was caught by
J. E. Barbour of Paterson, N. J., In the
St. John's river, Gaspe, Canada, June
20, 1921, and when opened it was
found that its stomach contained nine
is candy-like Cascarets. One or two
...
i
2
5s•*za,2
355*3*4
, wotl8“h
io sigio
"And her reply left him
paralytic with horror. "Wallie
Torbin!"
Fortuitous Circumstances.
ama you have a good time at
smith's iast eveningr" "Can’t
m I did Mrs. Smith ts an old sweet-
Urt * mine and 1 •we Mr. Smith
$0
lei
a
BAEER
8
were complimentary when they sent
around to get motion pictures of me,"
said Senator Sorghum.
"Have you changed your mind?"
“Yes. When I saw myself on the
screen I became convinced they hail
played a trick on me to spoil my
popularity."
It Staggered Him. “What—What—
You Mean?”
persons I never could find any reason
tor em at all. ‘A person's reason!’
W hat do you mean, 'a person’s rea-
son.’ Florence?"
‘I mean like when somebody says,
.They II I0** their reason,"' she ex-
plained. “Has everybody got a rea-
son, and if they have, what is It, and
how do they lose it, and what would
they do then?"
“Oh, I see!" he said. "You needn’t
worry. I suppose since you heard it,
youve been hunting all over yourself
for your reason and looking to see if
there was one hanging out of anybody
else, somewhere. No; it’s something
you cant see ordinarily, Florence.
.osinK, your reason is just another
"ay ,, saying ‘going crazy!”’
?h’ she murmured, and appeared
to be somewhat disturbed.
At this, Herbert thought proper to'
offer . witticism for th pleasure of
I the company.
"You know, Florence," he said, “It
on acting like you most ">
ays do. He applauded himself with
changing laughter which
" nEed.from • bullfrog croak to a
apllapsing soprano; then he added:
"Esvecially when you come around
Yon nd. Henry’s newspaper building!
You certainly ‘lose your reason’ every
“win" come around that ole place!”
I Well, course I haf to act like the
retorted hat’s already there," Florence
tone 2d, not sharply, but in a musing
I w- . should have warned him.
I."Ln<w her wont to use a qulet
b^ h rrepnrtee. Thinking her hum
Vh laughed the more rKuconsiy.
us"oh,Elorence!" he besought her.
Saynot so! Say not wor
Unele Joseph
remonstrated r
Hertvert changed his tone; he be
doe. gerlouely plaintive. -Wall. Mie
Ww "2 that way. Unde Joneph:
again!"
Florence looked at him demurely
"Are you sure, Herbert?" she in-
quired.
“Just you try it!” he advised, with
heartiest sarcasm; and he laughed
tauntingly. "Just come around to-
morrow and try it 5 that s all I ask!
"T cert’nly intend to," she responded,
with dignity. “I may have a slight
surprise for you.”
“Oh, Florence, say not so! Say not
so Florence! Say not so!”
At this she looked full upon him,
and already she had something in the
nature of a surprise for him; for so
powerful was the still balefulness of
her glance he was slightly startled.
"I might sav not so." she said “If I
was speaking of what pretty eyes you
know you have, Herbert.”
It staggered him. ‘What what-
you mean?"
------BK CONTINURD.)
Told of John Burroughs.
John Burroughs, the naturalist, was
not interested in nature’s larger as-
" Geysers and volcanoes bored
ktm HI* one exception was the Grand
mvon of the Colorado, which he
1 uthe Divine Abyss." Despite
his Intentness on study when a boy.
ms-ouehs was fond of girls and kept
E Xmatir record of his engage
ments with them, writers on his life
______
—
work. I always had to have
would never have got 1
Through the advice of fries
been taking Lydia E P
Vegetable Compound for nt
and Lydia E. Pinkham’s Bh
cine for my blood and I al
fine and doing my work all
can recommend these med
any one, for they certain!
me. I suffered for five y
Lydia E. Pinkham's median
me through. ” — Mrs. WA
Stoye*, 1218 Mulberry St.,
Pa.
wouldn't write me out a check for a
new but, so I laid my head on his
shoulder and wept until the poor man
sat down and wrote that check. Oh,
I do believe in profit-tears
SPIRIN
WARNING I Say “Bayer” when you buy Aspirin.
Unless you see the name “Bayer” on tablets, you are
not getting genuine Aspirin prescribed by physicians
over 22 years and proved safe by millions for
I d him to expose unnum-
l esses, indiscretions and
punes on the part of ac-
hop »nd schoolmates; and to
-oVlire his noise and energy
I us publicity; the more
noe ught privacy the more
ctators. But above all
Lnp-‘ what most stimulated
r" boy to prodigies of sat-
Relief' tender episode or symp-
____i wiui the dawn of love.
Hostilities Brewing.
“Nigger, prepare to meet yo‛
Maker?”
“Huh! You ain’t talking to me, boy.
I‛se been to forty funerals an’ I ain’t
fed up yet.”
"Ycah, an' if you don’t quit foolin'
aroun' me you’s gwine to yo' forty-
fust, an' you’se gwine to be powerful
prominent in dat ceremony widout
knowin’ anything about it!"
ani T II—Continued.
-8-.
—• older, his Insatia
lour he memanpior wi
se larred, la seornea
I between Miss At
I ublishers of the i
ncerher-dundaz.fotlo
ng taidHonete.
d disapproval, by
)rde and the visitor
xy .. series of innocent
/VAl. Among them II
uth." the featur
contract to writ, a
• iswer, both to be li
exalscret The agreem
d out. Florence ti
r secret that her b
l illa Atwater, has a
Gahme engaged to a
m, altogether ni
waters. Florence
n the “Truth" gar
Tidal Herbert and Hen
iey have pretty er
• 4
think we were runnin* a lunatic
asylum the way she takes on. She
hollers and bellers and squalls and
squawks. The least little teeny thing
she don't like about the way we run
our paper, she comes flappin' over
there and goes to screechin' around,
you could hear her out at poorhouse
farm!”
"Now, now, Herbert," his Aunt Fan-
ny Interposed. “Poor little Florence
isn't saying anything impolite to you—
not right now, at any rate. Why don’t
you be a little sweet to her just for
once?"
Her unfortunate expression revolted
nil the cousinly manliness in Herbert's
bossom. " ‘Be a little sweet to her?’ ”
he echoed, with poignant incredulity,
and then in candor made plain how
poorly Aunt Fanny Inspired him. “I
just exackly as soon be a little sweet
to an alligator," he asserted; such
was his bitterness on this subject.
"Oh, oh!" said Aunt Carrie.
"I would!" Herbert insisted. "Or
a mosquito. I'd rather, to either of
'em, because, anyway, they don’t make
so much noise. Why, you just ought
to hear her," lie went on, growing
more and more severe. "You ought
to just come around our newspaper
building any afternoon you please, af-
ter school, when Henry and I are
tryin’ to do our work in, anyway, some
peace. Why, she just squawks and
squalls and squ—"
“It must be terrible," Uncle Joseph
interrupted. "What do you do all that
for, Florence, every afternoon?"
"Just for exercise,” she answered
dreamily; and her placidity the more
exasperated her journalist cousin.
"She does it because she thinks she
ought to be runnin' our own news-
paper, my and Henry’s; that's why
she does it! She thinks she knows
more about how to run newspapers
than anybody alive; but there's one
thing she's goln’ to find out; and that
is, she don’t have anything more to
do with my and Henry’s newspaper.
We wouldn't have another single one
of her ole poems In it, no matter how
much she offered to pay us! Uncle
Joseph, I think you ought to tell her
she's got no business around my and
Henry’s newspaper building."
"But, Herbert,” Aunt Fanny sug-
gested, “you might let Florence have
a little share In it of some sort. Then
everything would be all right."
“It would?" he demanded, his Voice
cracking naturally, at his age, but-also
under strain of the protest he wished
it to express. "It woo-wud? Oh, my
goodness, Aunt Fanny, I guess you'd
like to see our newspaper just utter-
ably ruined! Why, we wouldn't let
that girl have any more to do with it
than we would some horse!"
"Oh, oh!" both Aunt Fanny and
Aunt Carrie exclaimed, shocked.
“We wouldn't," Herbert insisted. "A
horse would know any amount more
how to run a newspaper than she does;
anyway, a horse wouldn t make so
much noise around there. Soon as
we got our printing press: we said
right then that we made up our minds
Florence Atwater wasn't ever goln' to
have a single thing to do with our
newspaper. If you let her have any-
thing to do with anything she wants
to run the whole thing. But she might
just as well learn to stay away from
our newspaper building, because after
od. ti,
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Zeiske, Richard E. The Bellville Times (Bellville, Tex.), Vol. [44], No. 13, Ed. 1 Friday, March 31, 1922, newspaper, March 31, 1922; Bellville, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1579816/m1/3/?q=%22%22~1: accessed July 5, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; .