The San Antonio Light (San Antonio, Tex.), Vol. 38, No. 324, Ed. 1 Monday, December 9, 1918 Page: 4 of 10
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4
THE SAN ANTONIO LIGHT.
(Founded January 20* 1881.)
Com nr Ilns The Sen Antonio I.lght and the San Antonio
Casetta.
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use tor republication of all news dispatches credited to
It or not otherwise credited in this paper and also tne
local news published herein. AU rights of republication
of special dispatches herein are also reserved.
A SANE SOLUTION.
"Complete unification of the railroads
in time of war partial merger in ordinary
times limitation of railway construction
to public necessity and systematic encour-
agement of the development of inland wa-
terways and their co-ordination with rail
carriers.”
The foregoing recommendation by the
Interstate Commerce Commission ex-
cerpted. from the Associated Press sum-
mary of the commission s annual report
should satisfy all rational parties to the
controversy regarding the future of the
American railgoads. Naturally it will not
satisfy the extremists those who want to
revert to the old days of almost unlimited
private control and those who insist that
outright government ownership is the onlj’
possible solution of the railway problem.
Doubtless it will suit the American
people in general not merely because it
may appear to be a sort of happy-medium
compromise but because it provides a
way to protect the country against injus-
tices of the old system without tying the
hands of private enterprise.
Some features of the commission’s rec-
ommendation wiil be opposed by no one.
Among them is “complete unification of
the railroads in time of war.” But since
the'international plans-are now afoot to
safeguard the world against wars in the
future this feature might be adopted sim-
ply as a matter of principle. Of more
immediate interest are the suggestions
concerning permanent or normal relations
between the railroads and the government.
— “Partial merger in ordinary times” is
absolutely necessary if the waste result-
ing from senseless competition through
duplications of all sorts is to be eliminat-
ed. Regardless of any favorable or un-
favorable effect of government control
dtiringthe war. it is too dbvious to require
argument that better and less costly serv-
ice can be given under co-operation than
under competition. If all of the best trains
run on exa'ctly the same schedule and
each uses only half of its carrying ca-
pacity the waste is evident.
“Limitation of railway construction to
public necessity” is a recommendation that
might be modified with profit to the pub-
lic as well as to the railroads. Instead of
bare necessity public welfare should be
the criterion. But this may be drawing
the difference to a finer point than is war-
ranted by what the commission had in
mind. “Necessity” may be givep an elas-
tic definition to anticipate material devel-
opment of new regions.
Clearly the proposed limitation was sug-
gested by the old practice of the railroads
of playing favorites. Under private con-
trol a railroad could easily iViake or break
a town city or region. Witness what un-
fair practices have been followed in Texas
with regard to gulf ports.
“Systematic encouragement of the de-
velopment of inland waterways and their
co-ordination with rail carriers” is simply
a provision for increasing the general ef-
ficiency of the country’s transportation
system. The elimination of competition
Would be merely a means toward an end
—an end that would bring greater profit
to the railroads through an increased vol-
ume of business by virtue of the agricul-
tural and other material development that
■would result naturally from the co-ordi-
nation of all carriers.
Under the system proposed by the In-
terstate Commerce Commission the en-
tire country would be free to develop
along natural lides and the railroads
themselves would not be the last to be
benefited.
GERMANY’S DEBTS.
The approaching peace conference to
which President Wilson is now en route
has many problems which will press for
solution but probably nothing is going
to be more difficult than the decision as
to what Germany must pay for this war
and how Germany is going to be enabled
to pay it.
It is a very ancient saying that "you
caiindt get blood out of a turnip” and
Germany has been sucked dry by the
junkers who built up the war machine at
the expense of the people. Therefore un-
less it be decided that the German nation
must disappear entirely and the German
people be scattered to the four winds
MONDAY.
. . J.OO
some means must be worked out whereby
the German people can form a govern-
ment that will in a certain measure at
least assume the new German responsi-
bilities.
Neither the entente powers nor America
are interested in the slightest in the Ger-
man government so far as protecting the
rights of the German people are con-
cerned. What do we care? The German
pieople have done nothing in this war
to make the allies love them or to desire to
assist them in any way as concerns their
internal problems. Perhaps we shall feed
them rather than see them starve but it
will be a service of humanity rather than
of mercy.
But we are all interested in seeing the
German people get some kind of a gov-
ernment under which they can buckle
down to work and pay the bill that is go-
ing to be rendered. France and Belgium
arc particularly interested in this matter;
so is Serbia. As matters now stand Ger-
many cannot begin to pay her debts and
probable indemnities. So far as her in-
ternal ' war debts are concerned repudia-
tion is her only way out. Her war bonds
are not worth the paper they are printed
on. In her present chadtic condition it
would seem that military occupation and
government by an international commis-
sion for many years is the only solution.
The allies do not want the job if they
can avoid it. They have no further inter-
est in Germany other than to see her dis-
armed and put to work. If Germany can
so operate under her- own government
that is what the peace conference very
likely will desire.
The world does not realize what is go-
ing to be demanded of the German peo-
ple if all the claims against them are
pressed at the peace conference. For in-
stance the Paris Matin; in summing up
France's claim lists these items: Return
of indemnity wrung from France in 1871
—512000000000 with interest; France’s
expense during world war —$28000000-
000; pensions $8000000000; reparation
for damages $2000000000. This totals
up about $68000000000 and it by no
means represents all. Belgium will have a
large bill. So will Serbia so will various
other nations. These are in addition to
Germany’s territorial losses which will be
very great.
It is beginning to be apparent that a
socialistic government cannot pay these
sums and likewise it is plain that a limit-
ed monarchy is impossible for Germany
and undesirable as well. If Germany
breaks up into small states who will foot
the war bill?
There seems no doubt now that Ger-
many as a people is done for. Those who
remain on German soil will be shouldered
with a burden that will grow heavier with
the centuries. They will have no surcease
from their war taxation for they are go-
ing to be made'to pay in full. Those who
leave Germany—where can they go?
Everywhere in every land and every
clime they must fac^ the stigma of this
war the crimes of land and sea the ab-
ject grovelling surrender of a great fleet
without firing a shot the cowardly flight
of their leaders. Germany has become the
pariah among the nations of the world.
Her future if she is to have a future is
one of the great problems of international
politics.
ORGANIZING THE FARMERS.
With the closing of the war we see
the movement resumed once more for the
federation of farmers’ organizations for
a national farmers’ association for farm-
ers’ legislative committes in Washington
and for this that’and the other farmers’
societies all of them having for their ob-
ject the obtaining of higher prices for
farm products more favorable farm legis-
lation better credits and cheaper trans-
portation.
The farmers have been among the last
of the special interests to organize thor-
oughly. We have immense organizations
of capital strong federations of labor in-
dustrial organizations of all kinds but we
have no great central farmers’ organiza-
tion. The reason is not far to seek; such
an organization is well nigh impossible be-
cause it would be just as easy for capital
and labor to merge into a joint federation
as for. the farmers of the United States
to so affiliate.
The agricultural interests of America
are too varied to permit a central organi-
zation of farmers for the entire country
except to a limited extent. All our farm-
ers might unite for better credits for bet-
ter roads for better transportation by
rail and motor truck for national high-
ways for a more efficient department 'of
agriculture and in fact for any general
purpose. But when it comes to a central
organization of farmers to deal with the
practical handling of crops marketing and
so on the conflict that would arise alone
would defeat the objects sought.
The wheat farmer of the north has noth-
ing in common with the cotton farmer of
the south. He wants more money for his
wheat. Is it to the interest of the cotton
farmer of the south who has to ship in
his wheat and flour to add to his already
high expenses? The cotton farmer wants
more money for his cotton. Does the
wheat farmer want to pay a higher price
than he now pax's for the cotton goods he
uses? The cotton farmer wants more
money for his cotton hulls for his cotton-
seed oil and cottonseed meal and other
by-products. Does the northern feeder
wantxto give it to him? Likewise the
northern farmer wants more money for
those field crops the southern dairyman
and stockman very often has to ship in.
Does the dairyman want to pay an in-
crease?
In so far as a farmers' federation could
control market conditions to the extent of
eliminating the speculator and the other
leeches who fatten off the farmer’s indus-
try it might be successful. If an organiza-
tion could be perfected that would have
for its object the gitaranteeing to the
cotton farmer and the wheat farmer every
cent of legitimate profit in their respec-
tive crops with but a fair return for the
manufacturer and the merchant it might
be maintained. But it is obvious that no
central fanners’ organization could long
endure when predicated on the theory
that it could take money out of the right
pocket and put it into the left pocket or
vice versa and deceive the masses of the
farmers being so juggled.
For the present farmers will find their
most effective co-operation through their
individual associations founded to pro-
mote the particular lines of agriculture
predominating in each section. For in-
stance the National Dairy Union the
Creamery Butter Makers’ Association the
Farmers’ Union the National Wheat
Growers the Rural Credit League of
America and such organizations can bet-
ter represent their members than any
broad general organization.
Many well-meaning persons who would
unite all farmers in one great central
group having for its object co-operative
political and financial action fail because
they .do not understand that farming has
become a great science and is one of the
most diversified factors in our complex
social and business system. Its interests
are more varying and of wider extent than
the interests of any other calling and it
has been found impossible thus far to
find a common ground on which they
can be united except to a limited degree.
COOKS OF THE FUTURE.
From whence will come-the cooks of
the future? We must confess we do not
know. The noble art is falling into
neglect. Cooking no longer is looked upon
as anything more than drudgery some-
thing to be disposed of in the quickest
possible time. It is almost disheartening
when we look about us today at the piti-
fully few girls who aspire to be good
cooks. The proportion is about one in
every hundred. Not only is lack of good
cooks ruining some of our best homes
but it is ruining some of our best diges-
tions and some of our best dispositions as
well.
Nor is the situation peculiar to America.
It seems to be world-wide if we may
quote our distinguished contemporary
The London Mail which sets up a 'wail
at the neglect of cooking in England.
. “The reproach of ignorance of cooking
does not only apply to the wife of the
workingman. It applies to women of all
classes” says the M a ’l which sees a
gloomy. outlook for the future in this
modern neglect by British women of this
necessary art.
As a matter of fact American cookery
both in private homes and in our public
eating places has undergone a complete
and painful revolution in the last half
century. Where Oh where is the suc-
cessor to the old-fashioned housewife who
used to spend the entire .day over the
old kitchen range getting tip a meal that
was fit for the gods? We find the answer
in the tired shopper hurrying home just
before husband arrives shucking off her
things and hastily lighting the gas under
the tea kettle. We find her patronizing
canned goods and bakery goods and
package food products of all kinds. Her
idea of a meal is one that can be pre-
pared "in a jiffy” and the “jiffier” it is
the better she likes it.
Between a complete ignorance on the
etween a complete ignorance on the
part of his wife as to the simplest and
most primary requisites of cooking and
the many and various preservatives of the
manufacturer the American husband is
growing dyspeptic nervous and grouchy.
In view thereof why would it not be as
proper to advocate for women compulsory
cooking lessons as to advocate for the
men compulsory military training? One
is just as important as the other; one be-
longs to the sphere of womankind and
the other belongs to the sphere of man.
Most certainly here is a situation that
ought to attract the attention of our legis-
lators. There is a distinct and alarmingly
growing shortage in the visible world
supply of good cooks. We have laws con-
cerning everything from the speed of auto-
mobiles to the length of sheets in Okla-
homa hotels so why should we not regu-
late the family kitchen?-.
The American mother is the finest
handsomest most admired and beloved
woman in the world but as a cook—well
she isn’t raising her daughter to be a
cook that’s all.
Thaadirector of the United States mint
says the government is making money
out of it. It ought to be profitable.
The Germans met the American Army
of Occupation with “studied indifference.”
writes a correspondent. They studied it
in the school of experience no doubt.
oo-W
Wholesale arrests of persons caught
carrying liquor into Washington D. C.
were made the other day by the capital
police. Evidently those Washingtonians
don’t carry their liquor very well.
THE SAN ANTONIO LIGHT.
HUNGRY AUSTRIAN SOLDIERS
FED BY TYROLEANS TO AVOID
PILLAGE; FAMINE IS FEARED
Residents of Little Republic Look to America to Keep
Them From Starving—Potato Crop a Failure
There Is No Grain and Peasants Living on Milk.
BY A. It. DECKER.
Special Cable to The Sao Anion's Llfiit
and the CbKaau Dally News.
Copyright. Ist* by Chicago Dally Newa Co.
Innsbruck Tyrol Nov. 26.—(Delayed)
—When the Austrian army suddenly
vanished as an army it became a mob
obsessed with the idea of getting home
as quickly as possible. The result was
the geratest confusion. Soldiers crowd-
ed the trains and even climbed the
roofs. Some still carrying their arms
shot into the air or into the stations. I
Passing through the tunnels soldiers
were swept from the roofs and either
killed by the fall or stunned and crush-
ed by the trains following. Tlxre were
204 killed in one day. In adidtion each
day for a week twenty to thirty men
were killed in quarrels and left uu-
buried since the soldiers were going
home and would not take the time to
dig graves.
In the midst of all this confusion
the difefreut countries of Austria de-
cided to hold all the cars entering their
boundaries with the result that there
was a lack of cars at the points where
they were needed for the transporta-
tion of troops. The soldiers became
threatening and turbulent because of
the lack of food. When they were not
hungry the soldiers refugees anil pris-
oners in general did not behave so bad-
ly though in individual cases they pil-
laged freight cars and the food in the
military magazines sometimes selling
live stock to the civilian population.
When food began to run short and
trains stopped so that the soldiers eould
not return home they threatened to
start roiting and pillaging without a
parallel. At this moment the man of
the hour ‘Joseph Straffner a Tyrolean
came forward and i>ersuaded the other
countries to rcalease the rolling stock
so that movement would be possible.
Then he calmed the soldiers by furnish-
ing food. Hundreds of thousands of
horses were wandering about in a piti-
able condition. Straffner seized all the
horses for the Tyrolean republic used
those necessary to feed the soldiers and
civilians and event sent 1000 daily to
other Austrian cities as demanded by
telephone thus saving other populations
from starvation. In Innsbruck horses
were sold for two kronen (40 cents)
each but there were no buyers since
there was no fodder.
One week Straffner appointed a rail-
road director and food commissioner.
This man was formerly a railroad man
and he successfully handled 500000 sol-
diers feeding and transporting them.
During this time there was no food ex-
cept horses for the towns. In two
weeks 30000 prisoners were fed and
returned.
The war in this section has always
been in the Tyrol. The retreat occurred
through the Tyrol. When the local gov-
ernment asked Vienna how to feed the
routed army Vienna replied : “You had
better kill your cows.” This reply cut
the last tie which bound the Tyrol to
Vienna. To send the soldiers home and
to avoid pillaging the Tyroleans gave all
their food to the troops so that now
they have left only slightly over a
week’s supply of foodstuffs in the city
storehouses. The people of Innsbruck
have not been told of the critical situa-
tion as yet. The city is calm and ac-
customed to suffering but soon with
the extreme winter season approach-
ing. famine is certain unless relief
comes from the outside.
The Tyrlean people consider America
as their liberator from the Hapsburgs.
They now hope that America will keep
them from starving. By visiting the
storehouse and talking with the leading
men of the new republic 1 was able to
verify most of the statements. In the
warehouse are potatoes only for one
day because the potato crop was a fail-
ure and other countries could not ship
to the Tyrol. Now it is too late since
the cold is too severe for shipping po-
tatoes. Thanks to the horses- there is
a supply of meat for several weeks. It
is difficult to obtain food from other
countries in Austria because the ship-
ments are seized in transit and also
because Hungary will not send any-
thing while Saxony Bavaria and
Northern Austria cannot.
Feasants Living on Milk.
The Tyrol being the farthest from
the center has no chance to plunder
cars even if the steadygoing Tyroleans
would do so. Bavaria delivered a few
carloads of potatoes at the frontier
transporting them J>y an electric line
to avoid the risky steam rail route.
The Tyrol has no agriculture and there-
fore no grain. It depends mainly upon
dairy products. The peasants are now
living on milk and are sending only
7000 liters (one litter equals about one
quart) to the towns compared to 40-
000 liters formerly. This is partly due
to the foot and mouth disease lu the
burgomaster's office I talked with Bur-
gomaster Greil and the proprietor of
the Tyrol steel works. The burgomas-
ter said:
"1 have lost forty kilograms (more
than 60 pounds) and my firend there is
only a 50 per cent compound of his
former self.”
They told me of food prices and con-
ditions. The lack was chiefly in cer-
eals and fats. They allowed a ration
of 1200 grams (about two and one-
half pounds) of bread and one-quar-
ter of a pound of flour weekly with
twenty grams (7 ounces) of fat made
of melted butter and meat drippings.
This fat came from Hungary but the
supply has now been stopped. It usual-
ly took 13000 carloads of cereals a
year from Hungary to feed the Tyrol.
They paid 60 kronen ($l2) per kilo-
gram (2.2 i>ounds) for fat and 40 kro-
nen ($8) for butter when it was to be
had. Substitutes were found to be in-
effective and they were obliged to cook
differently to decrease consumption. Cof-
fee was an unthought of luxury and
wine was scarce. The former Munich
beer is now a travesty. Sausage is 60
kronen ($l2) per kilo and flour 16
kronen ($3.20) when ground. Bice costs
40 kronen ($80). It was sometimes
purchased from Italian prisoners. Fresh
beef and veal costs 24 kronen ($4.80)
though a ration of one-quarter kilogram
per week was cheaper. Sometimes the
ration was reduced to 150 grams (5
pounds) a week.
Use Taper for Bandages.
Cloth cost 250 kronen ($5O) per me-
ter (39.37 inches). One shoe cost 150
kronen ($3O). The hospita’ was in
great need of bandages but ould use
nothing but paper for that purpose. The
dead had to be buried uncloth'd. Tea
and coffee were very high but they
have now fallen a little as the specula-
tors are unloading their stocks. I offer-
ed a woman six kronen ($1.20) for a
basket of apples weighing one kilogram.
Horses Used for Food.
Famine Appears Certain.
She said that she needed time to reflect
and I never returned. There is sugar
in the factories in Bohemia but none is
getting through. The simplest hat is
50 kronen ($10) and women's hats are
unpurchasable. A man's suit costs 800
to 1000 kronen ($l6O to $400). Shoes
sell for from 300 to 400 kronen $OO to
$80) spools of thread for 15 kronen
($3) Swiss cheese for 40 kronen ($8)
aud cream cheese at 20 kronen ($4).
Frederick Mader secretary of the
Chamber of Commerce sHid :
Everything is rationed except water
aud vegetables.”
These men stated that the Tyrol had
a perfect rationing system and could
guarantee the equal distribution of food.
The only difficulty came when they
could not get food as from the peas-
’ants and speculators. It is possible now
to guarantee safe shipments since in
Austria an officer with forty men ac-
company each train from the Swiss
frontier. Herr Straffner says there is
no congestion now as only remnants
of the troops remain. He can keep the
railroads going for another six mouths
after which they will need large re-
pairs since all deteriorated during the
war. All suggest that the Tyrol would
send wood in which the mountains are
rich in exchange for foodstuffs. In
Innsbruck alone there are 100000 men-
aced with famine aud nearly 900000 in
all thy Tyrol.
"Send us cereals and fats” is the
cry.
Hope to Maintain Kepublir.
The Tyrolean republic not only wants
America to send food to ward off the
famine which menaces it but also looks
to America as the only hope for the con-
firmation and the maintenance of its
existence as a separate and independ-
ent government. Upon the develop-
ments of the next few months de-
pends the fate of the republic. If the
Southern Tyroleans are annexed by
Italy the Tyrol will consider a union
with Switzerland or an economic union
only with Bavaria but never a reunion
with Vienna since now that it is rid
of the Hnpsburgs it is determined that
they shall not return.
The Tyroleans are essentially moun-
tain peasants very similar to the Swiss
and a movement for union with the
Swiss republic is growing fast. How-
ever the main body of the Tyroleans
wish to maintain a free and independent
republic. These people are very self-
possessed and sturdy and there is no
danger of Bolshevism among them.
• «»♦
Two Aviaton Instructors Killed.
Ix>s Angeles Cal. Dec. 9.—Lieut.
Herbert N. Chaffee of Pasadena Cal.
and Lieut. Charles J. Drake of Mankato
Kan. both pursuit pilots and instruct-
ors at Rockwell Field San Diego were
instantly killed here yesterday when the
airplane in which they were riding
plunged 3000 feet to the earth in a yard
in the residential district.
> — -»»»
Joseph Bowes Dies in Baltimore.
Baltimore Md. Dec. 9 Joseph
Bowes aged 74 for a quarter of a cen-
tury manager at Baltimore for the
Equitable Life Insurance Society died
yesterday. He entered the service of
the Eqpitable at Washington in 1888
and the first year wrote over $1000060
in policies making a nation-wide rec-
ord. •
| O—•
Premier’s Wife Aids Campaign.
London Saturday Dec. 7.—Mrs.
David Lloyd George wife of the Brit-
ish premier is making a tour of Wales
in an automobile and addressing meet-
ings in support of her husband's can-
didacy for parliament.
When a Feller Needs a Friend -
SEND A MESSAGE OF
CHEER THROUGH RED
CROSS URGES WILSON
Peace Means Farther Sacri-
fices He Says in Asking
All to Join Roll Call.
Washington D. C. Dec. #.—Presi-
dent Wilson in a proclamation made
i public here calls on every American to
I join the American Red CroM during
' Christmas roll call week Dee. 16 to
■ 23 "and thus send forth to the whole
human family the Christmas greeting
for which it waits ami for which it
stands in greatest need. The procla-
mation prepared before the President
departed for Europe follows;
"To the American people:
“One year ago 22000000 Americans
by enrolling as members of tbe Red
Cross at Christmas time sent to tbe
men who were fighting our battles
overseas a stimuhiting message of
cheer and good will. They mude it
clear that our people were of their own
free choice united with the government
in tbe determination not only to wage
war with the instruments of destruc-
tion but also by every means iu this*
power to repair the ravages of the in-
vader and sustain and renew the spirit
of the army and of tbe homes which
they represented. The friends of the
American Red Cross in Italy Belgium
and France have told and will tell
again the story of how the Red Cross
workers restored morale in the hos-
pitals in the camps and at the canton-
ments and we ought to be very proud
that we have been permitted to be of
service to those whose sufferings anil
whose glory are the heritage of human-
ity.
“Now by God’s grace the Red
Cross Christmas message of 1918 is to
be a message of peace ns well as a
message of good will. But peace does
not mean that we can fold our^hands.
It means further sacrifice. We must
prove conclusively to au attentive
world that America is permanently
aroused to the needs of the new era our
old indifference gone forever.
“The exact nature of the future ser-
vice of the Red Cross will depend upon
the program of the associated govern-
ments but there is immediate need to-
day for every heartening word and for
every helpful service. We must not
forget that our soldiers and our sailors
are still under orders and still have
duties tf>' perform of the highest conse-
quence and that the Red Cross Christ-
mas membership means a great deal t >
them. The people of the saddened
lands moreover returning home today
where there are no homes must have
the assurance that the hearts of our
people are with Ahem in the dark aud
doubtful days ahead. Let us so far
as we can help them back to faith iu
mewy and in future happiness.
“As president of the Red Cross con-
scious in this great hour of the value
of such a message from the American
people I should be glad if every Amer-
ican would join the Red Cross for 1919
and thus send forth to the whole hu-
man family the Christmas greeting for
which it waits and for which it stands
in greatest need.
(Sifned)
"WOODROW WILSON.”
i ♦*»
Concert Singer Dies.
Chicago Dec. 9.—Miss Sada Doak
concert singer well known throughout
tha^outh. died of influenza and pneu-
month yesterday. She received her mu-
sical education in Europe. For the Inst
four years she had resided in Chicago.
She was born in Selma. Ala.
I ——«■»——
Steel Net Removed From Harbor.
New York. Dec. 9.—Ships entering
and leaving.the harbor yesterday found
that the steel net stretched across the
Narrows to protect the port from sub-
marine attack during the war. hnd been
removed. The work of taking it up was
completed last night.
Copyriguuu 19X8 uy lue Tribune Assoc. (New York
DECEMBER 9 1918.
1 ——s
o Light
Samanthy Sharp _
says some men ain't GK
got enough push in
’em to even wheel ■
the baby buggy. «
When V man
- says he understands Vj I r X/l
1 a woman he shows r'
plainly that he
doesn't.
& /
Adversity is a fs '
hard teacher but f J
you never forget __
your lessons.
4k dk ik
What makes a flea so nervous? Why
don't it do all its biting in one plaeeJ
4k dk
Here's a Smutty One.
Dear sir—Perhaps you ean give me
the desired information: Is there any
danger of a Chimney Sweep taking tha
flu ? —Plum.
el: si
Of Course.
He left via au exit —Marihuana Ga-
zette.
4k 4k 4k
The most forlorn thing in the world
—a squeezed lemon.
A
“I’ve noticed” remarked Colonel
Dinglcfugle the other day. “that while
some of the women demand the ballot
don overalls and low-heeled shoes none
of 'em ever attempt to raise a mous-
tache.”
4k 4k £4*
Olive oil is said to stimulate the
growth of rubber plants. We thought
olive oil was useful only to stimulate
the growth of salads.
Z
r£- Old Man P. Nurious
says he used to read of
the horrors of being
* n Sahara de-
z —r-g A k-j jert when he was a boy
BL * 1 but he never really real-
It < iz-ed i ust ^ ow un-
• I 1G a til Texas went dry.
Fl 4k 4k 4.:
lilNg I! Another claim that
I’ I Aj! must be settled by the
.| ) J peace conference is the
• । -I ' ' baseball championship
yf the expeditionary
forces.
4k 4k 4k
Proud Mnmma (before company)—
"Johnnie what did you do at school
today ?”
Johnnie (truthfully' — —“Licked
Skinny Jones played marbles fer keeps
hit Susie Smith with a paper wad got
kept in at recess and made 60 in spel-
lin.’ ”
4k 4k 4k
Lucy Gables says she talks nearly all
the time but when called upon to ad-
dress the Fancy Work Club the other
day she couldn't think of a thing to
say.—Marihuana Gazette.
4k 4k s'k
Sounds Like Home.
’•Can you meet me at my office to-
morrow morning?”
“I think so. What car do you usual-
ly miss?”—Kansas City Star.
4k dk 4k
It is firoposed that the surrendered
German ships be scrapped. We don't
believe there's a scrap in 'em.
4k 4k dk
As the sailor said—the ocean is
just swell.
dk 4k 4k
Calla Coe says her
motto for washing the AjA
dishes is this: “Treat m yy
em Rough." iff-
*k 4k dk
The Republicans ob- Hwy
iected to the President
leaving the country be- I M
cause there was no prec- | I
edent. Well there's a
precedent now. ! 1 11
dk dk 4k jyJJ
As the earthquake re- Yjl
marked things are kind
>f shaky.
SI
w By Briggs
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Reference the current page of this Newspaper.
Diehl, Charles S. & Beach, Harrison L. The San Antonio Light (San Antonio, Tex.), Vol. 38, No. 324, Ed. 1 Monday, December 9, 1918, newspaper, December 9, 1918; San Antonio, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1614966/m1/4/: accessed July 3, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; .