The San Antonio Light (San Antonio, Tex.), Vol. 40, No. 42, Ed. 1 Monday, March 1, 1920 Page: 6 of 16
This newspaper is part of the collection entitled: San Antonio Light and was provided to The Portal to Texas History by the UNT Libraries.
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6
THE SAN ANTONIO LIGHT.
(Fouh4»^ TiUMmry tT 1W1)
Omprtelr.f Tt»* San Antonio f.*st»f and ’he Antonin
O&wttn.
KaMwivn L«a»ed Ware Day Report of Associated Hr^a
Rs‘»r»<i as second-els »a matter P t‘:» pn»’rffiee At S3n
ABUndo. Tea.. onder the Act of Congress. March s. HU
FubHeatHr Office; N'a 601-511 Trmn Street.
between Aranuca C and D
smovirnox ratks.
Mlly or Sunday single copy •• •5c
Daily and Buadsy. carrier. i sior.il G3r
Oetiy and Sunday carrier IS mon the
Mada' only. carriet. 12 mouths S*.s«
Daily and Sunday mail. 1 month (in advance)... 50c
Daily and Bunday mall. 12 months (in advance). SS.M
Mmda? only. mail. 12 months (in advance) St.so
Dally and Sunday mail all points outside of
Texas including Mexico. 1 month 15c
Dally and Sunday mail all pointe outside of
Texas Including Mexico. 13 months (In
advanoe) W-04
It Is important when desiring tbs address of your
paper chanced to *tv« both eld and ne* addresses.
Should delivery bo irrsgular. please notify the office.
Telephone Crockett 1742.
The Ban Antonio Light la on sale at hotels and news
stands throughout the United States.
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Avenue.
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MEMBER OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
The Associated Press Is exclusively entitled to the
uae for republication of all news dispatches credited to
it er not otherwise credited in this paper and also ths
local news published herein. AH rights of republics-
tlon of special dispatches herein are also reserved.
SENATOR SHEPPARD TALKS.
Judging bv the statement issued by Sena-
tor Sheppard relative to the speeches that
have been delivered in this state bv Joseph
W. Bailey. t is the opinion of Senator Shep-
pard that where he plants his foot there
stands the Democratic party. There are many
—yety many—voters in Texas who hold an
opinion that differs very greatly from that
which he so evidently entertains.
One of the principles of true democracy
is that the majority of the voters of any
state on any question of state policy is en-
titled to have its way. There is no democracy
existent in the United States or elsewhere
if the vote of the majority is to be set aside
or denied.
It is not many months since the voters
of Texas declared that they did not want
woman suffrage. The Light favored and
still favors woman suffrage if the women
of America really desire it. The majority
of the voters of Texas decided that they
did not want woman suffrage. The Light
believed and still believes that the expressed
wish of the voters of Texas was entitled
to consideration and obedience.
Senator Sheppard~-who talks much in his
statement of what he says is the desife of
Mr. Bailey to lead the Democratic party
astray deliberately violated this democratic
principle. He declined to recognize the ex-
pressed wish of the majority and. while
posing as the representative of the people
of Texas misrepresented their views and
ignoring the declared opinion of Texas
voted against it.
question he considered his opin-
► gLm of more value than that of the people of
■’ TrJexas and believed that although the peo-
. >le of Texas had sent him to the United
^^ates ‘senate for the purpose of represent-
g then he was not bound to represent
’tn when their view did not accord with
he senator who was as everybody
. tus. exceedingly active in the abroga-
tioniW states rights^as accomplished through
the I■actment of the eighteenth amend-I
mentwand its attendant enforcement law
seeksjto make a great point against Mr.
Bailey because—according to Senator Shep-
pard—he is criticising the Democratic party.
. This statement of Senator Sheppard is in-
correct Senator Bailey pointed out that
there had been a great departure from the
true and fundamental principles of democ-
racy and called upon the voters of Texas to
I • reaffirm their loyalty to them.
Senator Sheppard further declares that!
.it .was never intended that the constitution I
should remain always unamended It was
never intended he says that the powers re-’
served to the states were intended to be
theirs forever.
In other words it is in the opinion of
Senator Sheppard highly improper for a
gentleman named Bailey to seek to plant
the feet of the Democratic party once more
firmly on the fundamental principles of
democracy but it is entirely proper for a
gentleman named Sheppard to seek to over-i
turn those principles and alter the founda-i
tion upon which rests the government of
the United States. He evidently is of the I
opinion that your privileges go with your
name.
The relation of the several states to the!
general government was one of those things
which the constitution sought to definitely
establish. It was never intended that the re-
lationship should ever be altered. The actual
existence of the nation has always depended
and always will depend upon that thing
There has never been any doubt that the
founders of the constitution meant exactly
what they said when they declared .that all
rights not reserved to the nation should be-
come the privileges of the several states
The prohibition amendment for which
Senator Sheppard is largely responsible
delegates to the federal government the right
to exercise within the states the police pow-
ers that properly belong to the states and
to t>ie states alone. Accompanied by the Vol-
klead enforcement act. it subverts the con-
stitution and by the precedent established
onens the door to an unlimited number
of similar constitutional amendments through
which every vestige of personal right and
MONDAY.
But the real test comes when we under-
take to define what we mean when we say
‘‘Extravagant/’ That word is most elastic.
It can be made to fit many conditions and
many purposes. What would not be ex-
travagance for one person would be ex-
treme extravagance for another.
The natural tendency of mankind is to
better his condition. At present he is being
urged by the mercantile fraternity to adopt
styles and garments that cost more money
than he has ever paid before. This applies
to the feminine population quite as much
as to the masculine. Moreover to eat the
same food formerly consumed costs many
times what it formerly did. For that reason
a sweeping assertion that we. as a people
are extravagant is both unjust and illogical.
We are extravagant by comparison with
some of the Europeans perhaps. We are
grossly extravagant by comparison no doubt
with the Fiji Islanders or the Eskimos or
Laplanders where the opportunities for liv-
ing at our standards do not exist.
As a matter of fact the question of ex-
travagance. like most domestic questions is
purely individual. A few years ago. the
farmer who owned a one-cylinder wheezy
old motor car was looked upon as either a
plutocrat or a spendthrift. Today the motor
car and truck are considered very necessary
parts of farm equipment.
Even the much maligned silk shirt has
this in its favor —that it can be laundried
at home much more economically and will
wear much longer than the average shirt of
coarser material which must be sent to the
laundry which is expensive to starch and
iron and which succumbs to wear and tear
at a rapid rate.
The individual is largely the best judge
of his own situation. Even in hard times?
as in good times we are not lacking in the
class of people who refuse to save who I
live up to or beyond their incomes and who!
in a crisis never have resources to tide!
them over.
Our pro rata of savings as a people may
not be as large as the savings of other peq-
ples. but look at our purchasing power our
earning power our merchandising power i
and our wonderful business record. We sell 1
I the goods.
I There are two explanations of the at-
• tempt to construe the attitude and action of
■the local authorities of Iron county. Michi-
। gan in the prohibition controversy as a re-
volt against the United States government.
This construction comes from two sources:
the Prohibitionists who want to put the
[ Iron county officials in the worst light and
i arouse public sentiment against them so
that there may be no limit to what may be
done in the name of prohibition: and the
federal enforcement officers who are
jealous of their power which they want to
exercise in their own way.
Of the desires of the Prohibitionists
nothing need l>e said except that their be-
havior in this particular case runs true to
prohibition form. In their philosophy there
is no right under the sun which does not
fall Ijefore the end to be served by sump-
tuary laws.
The federal enforcement officials started
out upon a certain line of action and. as a
matter of official and personal reputation
they are hostile to anything that might turn
liberty can consistently be taken from
every citizen of the United States.
Senator Bailey has truly said that such a
departure from democratic faith and prin-
ciples is a menace to the existence of Ameri-
can democracy.
And it is Morris Sheppard who was
chiefly instrumental in levelling this blow at
personal liberty at states rights and at true
democracy who seeks to criticise other# for
not following him.
OO
ARE WE EXTRATAGANT*
Extravagance is said to be responsible for
the high cost of living to a large extent.
Lacking anything more tangible on which to
blame the rise in the cost of necessities
economists and critics generally are ac-
cusing the masses of the people with un-
precedented expenditures.
It is difficult to see at first hand how
extravagance should effect the cost of
necessities. In the first place meats bread
butter milk flour and similar products are
mounting steadily in price along with cloth-
ing medicines transportation and labor. No
matter how strongly one may urge that the
people are extravagant it is doubtful if an
accuser could lie found who would go so far
as to assert that we are running riot in
our consumption of meats bread flour and
similar staples. We are living along at
about the same old American standard and
possibly a little under it as regards the
average table while it is conceded by most
unbiased persons that you can not buy as
good a suit of clothes today for $5O as
you formerly could for $25.
That we are as a people indulging
rather freely in such luxuries as silk hose
and stockings silk shirts and silk dresses
high priced millinery and the like is also
conceded. It can not be denied because the
sales of such articles speak for themselves
in plain figures.
But if the average person will take
stock of his wardrobe he probably will
find that by and large he is no better
dressed even though more expensively
dressed than in former "years. He may
have a $lO silk shirt but he probably has
fewer shirts and as for his other garments
they probably cost more but are certainly no
better than he formerly got for about
fifty per cent of present prices.
OO
NOT A REBELLION.
them from their original course—any in-
terpretation of the law which would define
and consequently limit their power.
The action of the Iron county - officials
merely exemplifies in a big way a situa-
tion tliat might easily h^ve developed in any
part of the country when enforcement of
the Volstead act was begun. It is a notorious
fact that federal enforcement officers pro-
ceeded in a high-handed extremely auto-
cratic way. There have been many instances
in which local officials would have been
wholly within legal bounds if they had ar-
rested and jailed the enforcement officers.
For the enforcement officers violated the
law in innumerable cases. They “got by
simply because as a result of war-time in-
fluences they personified in the public
mind the United States government. They
took advantage of that war-created senti-
ment which - defined any opposition to or
criticism of. the government as treasonable.
Thus they became in effect a law unto
themselves It matters not what the exact
provisions of the Volstead act were: the
enforcement officials many of them picked
from the ranks of the .Prohibitionist.- did
as they pleased —and what they pleased to do:
constitutes a sad commentary upon out-
theory of popular sovereignty.
The officials of Iron county Michigan
have done nothing so far as press reports
show to justify the charge that they are
in “open revolt" against the United States
government. Their action is not another
Shays’ rebellion as Prohibitionists are trying
to make it appear.
The facts in the case show that violation
of the law is on the other side—that of the
federal enforcement officers. They have
simply tried to do in Iron county what in
principle they have been doing on a smaller
scale throughout the country. Iheir action
was against the constituted authorities of
Michigan whose legal proceedings they re-
pudiated in the most contemptous manner.
On the other hand the local officials far
from obstructing the enforcement of the
Volstead act. had taken formal judicial
cognizance of the case brought before them
as was their vested right under that act
itself. Having considered the evidence they
decided that the defendents had not violated
the Volstead act. which does not. according
to their construction of it. forbid the posses-
sion of liquor for private use.
The situation would have been the same
in principle if the positions of the local and
the federal officials had been reversed.
Suppose a federal court in Michigan had
tried and exonerated the owners of the
liquor and the local authorities had then
taken reverse action seizing the liquor and
sending forth an expedition to “clean up"
the state. The Volstead act gives the federal
government and state governments con-
current- ’ jurisdiction in the work of ad-
ministering its provisions. Ihe federal of-
lf jeers in the Iron county case violated this
i feature of the law if no other.
The intent of the local authorities could
hardly have been made more throughly
unmistakable than it has been made by the
course they have pursued. They set out to
administer the law—and certainly a law can
be administered even "enforced. ’ without
the necessity of a decision adverse to those
who are charged with violating it. Other-
wise what would be the sense in having a
trial at all ?
The federal enforcement officers seem to
have taken the position that the law is en-
forced only when a defendant is found
guilty. It is against such officers and their
despotic acts that the Michigan authorities
have “revolted." and they would have the
moral backing of the country if they should
find it necessary in order to protect
their rights and those of their people to
exercise their constituted police powers
upon the persons of the federal agents who
have moved against them.
There is one lesson perhaps which this!
Michigan case will teach those who need it ।
most —namely that to hold a federal office
or commission does not exempt any onej
from observance of the law.
oo
That mix-up between the state board of
control and the Southwestern Asylum board
of managers is enough to drive any one
crazy.
■ (*) —
The senate leader expect to secure a vote
on the j»eace treaty within the next couple
of weeks. Meanwhile the horrible war
goes on.
LAY OF THE KANSAS HEX
We have read of Maud on a summer dat
; Who rak«d. barefooted. the new-mown hay :
I We have read <«f the maid in the early morn.
Who milked the cow with the . rumpled horn :
Aud we’ve read the lay* that the [H>et* -ing
Of the rustling corn and the flower^ of spring
But of all the lay of tongue or p< n.
! There’s naught like the lay of the mini- h« • .
I tang. long before Maud rake* her hay
j Th*- Fum-as hen ha* begun to lay.
i And ere the milkmaid *tir« a |Hg.
• The hen is up and ha* dropped her «
The corn must rustle and flower* spring
; If they hold their own with the barnyard ring
i If Maud I* needing a hat and gown
She doesn’t bustle her hay to town.
. But goe* to the store and obtains her -uit
I With a basketful of her fre^h hen fruit
* If the milkmaid - beau make* a Sunday «all.
She doesn't feed him on milk at all.
But works up eggs in a custard pie
And stuffs him full of a ehi< k» n fry
I And when the old man want* a horn.
I he take the druggist a load of corn?
' Not muchJie simply >ob* a neat.
I And to town he goe* —you know the rest.
He haug* arouml with the cliques and ring-.
And talk* of politics and thing-.
While his poor wife *tay* at home and scowl.-.
But i- saved from want by thoM* M-lf*ame fowl*
l or. while her husband lingers there.
She watches the cackling hens with <arr.
And gathers egg* and the egg* she'll hid*.
’Till she saves enough to stem the tide.
Then hail all hail to the Kansas hen.
The greatest blessing of all to men!
Throw up your hats and emit a howl
For the persevering barnyard fowl!
Com may be king but it’s plainly aeen.
The Kansas hen is the Kansas queen.
THF- SAN ANTONIO LIGHT.
Letters to The Lighl»
At! letter* tn this paper that are In-
feii i'-d for publication must be signed
by the writer The name nf the witter
will not be published unless It la de-
aired. No attention will be paid to
annnnymoua rommuntentiona. Tyrpe-
written algnaturnß and thnae made
with a rubber stamo are claated a#
nnnonymous The publication of a
letter does not necessarily mean that
the policy outlined therein Is endorse?!
the publishers nf The Light.
LABEL THE JITNEYS.
To the Editor:
Every Son Antonian above the sev-
enth grade knows how Columbus set out
t<» reach India and struck America.
That a stranger in San Antonio wishing
to go to Cincinnati Avenue may land in
Hays Street is less universally known
>ince it is the latest discovery made by
a jitneyman ami the writer yet though
it is far from epoch-making it deserve
to be made public.
Here are the facts: Writer was wait-
ing the other day at the corner.of Ave-
nuc 1» and Travis Street fdr a jitney to
take him to Cincinnati Avenue. About
tw.-nty jitneys placarded “Army Post.”
had passed the corner before one with
the inscription “Cincinnati” hove in
sight. an<l with a sigh of relief writer
boarded it. After traveling for about
fifteen minutes the jitney stopped und
all its passengers got out. As the
writer had been told to look for a lake
at the end of the line he did some look-
ing. but failed to detect the slightest
trace of an inland body of water. The
jitneymail who had watched writer
came to the conclusion that his passen-
ger needed some information and so he
told him that they hud arrived at Buys
Street and that Cincinnati Avenue was
at the other end of the line. Further-
more he confessed that it was down-
right stupidity to put up a sign read-
ing “Cincinnati Avenue” as long as he
did bis very best to get away from that
thoroughfare. Moral: Jitneys running
to Hays Street should be properlv la-
beled. NEWCOMER.
SHAW SCORNS THE PAST
Ohl (’ottaees “Sort of Architectural
Hell:” Would Kaze All of Tem.
Ixmdon Times Cable.
Special Cable to The Ban Ai.tonio Light
and tlie Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Copyright. l>2o by The Public Ledger Co.
London. March I—George Bernard
Shaw says the old rottages of England
*hould be destroyed wholesale.
“After Jiving in one of these ‘literary
and artistic* houses with an exalted
sense of doing the right thing.” he told
the Society of Arts recently “one real-
izes that ail the time one has been living
in a sort of architectural hell.
“I am so far modern that I have
come to the conclusion that what is
wante<l is a law that every building
should be knocked down at the end of
20 years and a new one erected. That
would get rid of old cottage*. We
hare got into the incorrigible habit of
sponging on the past.
“Every generation ought to be able
to produce its own art and all this wor-
ship of the pa*t <an only be got rid of
by a wholesale destruction of all the
monuments of Ihe past.
“If we could avoid the wholesale de-
struction of human beings involved by
a great war I should be glad to have
half a dozen great wars in Europe so
tliat all the old buildings might bn
knocked down thus forcing us by a sort
of starvation to make our own archi-
tectural efforts.”
'
NEW RAILWAY IS OPEN
Probably Will Give to France Control ■
of Much of Europe’s Kail Freight.
Ixmdon Tluu-k Cable.
.Special Cable to The San Antonio Lignf ;
and rfe* Piuladclpliia Publ.c Ledger.
Copyright. 1920 h y The Publi. ledger < o •
Paris. .March I.—The “Jine of the
45th parallel” is now in working order
and probably will give to France a pre- *
ponderant influence over tne tlow of!
railway traffic between the west of Eu- :
rope the Balkans and the East. Such a ।
line will be used to transport ocean-
borne goods from America which are
needed in haste to Northern Italy. 1
Jugoslavia. Greece Constantinople and'
Bagdad.
The two great forks or the system
join in Milan and in Nish. In Milan
expresses from Bordeaux and from}
Paris are linked and in Nish trains
separate into two sections which pro- ’
<ied respectively toward Athens byway
•d' Saloni'*a and to Bagdad by way of
< ’onstantinople.
%e Days of Real Sport
■ - i
Signs of Fatigue
By 11. Addington Bruce.
(Copyright 14)20 by The Associated
Newspapers.)
The commonest sign of fatigue of
c< urse. is found in feelings of weariness.
But there are other signs which it is
important to know for the reason that
weariness may not be felt until fatigue
is well advanced.
This can occur for example to peo-
| pie working under the stimulus of un-
usual enthusisam for their work devo-
tion to duty or a keen desire to get a
difficult task done by a certain tunc.
The emotional states thus created dull
the sensibilities. So that it is possible
for a person to be even dangerously fa-
tigued yet declare that he or she “does
not feel at all tired.”
Meanwhile however the jaded nerves
are sure to be desperately endeavoring
by one means of another to convey a
warning that it is time to let down.
Their possessor nmv not feel fatigued
but they unmistakably know that he is
fatigued and would impart their knowl-
edge to him for his good as well as for
theirs.
One means employed to give the need-
ed warning is by lessening the working
efficiency. . *
A man who insists that he is not in
the least fatigued should nevertheless
lake it for grumcd that he is markedly
fatigued it' lie begins to find it hard to
keep his attention fixeil. if luemcory be-
comes unaccountably treacherous or if
lie makes a steadily increasing number
of errors in physical work.
Thus an author accustomed to com-
pose on a typewriter may in the fervor
of composition lass me fatigued without
experiencing the mual sensations of
weariness. But ns fatigue grows he will
make an even greater number of mis
takes in his typewriting.
Irritability is another tell-tale sign
of fatigue.
Influenced by fatigue the ordinarily
good untun'd becoinv crochety or
grouchy. They have flare-ups of bad
temper surprising to those who know
them and surprising to themselves.
Increasing fatigue may otherwise
show in upukm- ? "f judgment. The
resolute become irresolute the jniwer
of reaching decisions is lesseued.
the warnings given may be in the
form of unpleasant physical conditious.
Fatigue may so disturb the workings
of the stonnu li as to make indigestion
fre<|uent or habitual. It may produce
pain or discomfort through interfering
with the action of the heart and affect-
ing the circulation.
Otherwise it may annoumr its pres-
ence by creating a t«nd»'my to abnor-
mal wakefulm**. Night comes and
should bring with if sleep nut ti e over-
fatigued find it impossible or next to
impossible to sleep.
They marvel at their insomnia. Yet
be<’ausp of ignoramc of the cause they
continue to work hard until a visit to
their physician reveal scondltions of
nerve exhaustion which leave no doubt
that they have been driving themselves
too Ktrenuoiislv.
too strenuously.
ACCOMPLISH BIG DEALS
Duke of Westminster Negotiating $l-
000000 Sale to Restaurateurs.
Ix>ndon Timet ( able.
Special Cable to The San Ai.tonio Light
and the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Copyright 1920 by The Pul-.lc Ledger Co
London. March 1— The Duke of West-
minster is negotiating for the sale of
an important though part of his
1 London property’ f"r Two
I prominent business men directors of an
Extensive iestaurant enterprise are
i prospective purchasers The property
i which includes shops and a well known
I license house will be demolished and a
large iestaurant will be erected on the
site.
Romance in the building trade of
Harrogate one of Britain's most popu
iar inland resorts is reflected in a prop-
erty deal one of the biggest in the'his-
tory of the north of England. Almont
GGO separate properties have been pur-
chased by the Bradford syndicate in-
volving approximately ^4I.<NHMM)O.
These properties formed the estate of
Aiderman Jame* ('hippindale who had
been three time* mayor of Harrogate.
Alamt ~>o years ago Aiderman ('hippin-
dale in partnership with his brother
Amos began building in a small way.
He erected homes big and small in dif-
ferent parts of the town. mingling
shrewdness with a hold enterprise which
almost in every « ase carried him to sur-
«■(•)«. He is regarded as the flick Whit-
tington <>f Harrogate but in place of a
<at he ha* a trowel of almost uncanny
Snake Talk
By Jolin Breck.
We have always taken it for granted
that the snakes those uncanny cousins
of the birds were silent. That very
silence seems a part of the eerie aver-
sion which exists between them and the
rest of the world. We sense their inar-
ticulateness as a barrier between any
mutual understanding a stubborn re-
fusal of our advances rather than that
impotence which would wake our pity.
They are quiet because they are plan-
ning a surprise and we suspect that
surprise will not be a pleasant one.
Now it appears that we have been
right. They are capable of much more
than the hissed ophidian curses with
which they arc wont to resent our in-
PTferem-v with their devious plans. Tho-
reau relates in his essgy on the Maine
woods hoW’Un Indian copied for him the
whistling note of a snake. An old woods-
man once told me much the same thing
—that ”a snake called its mate the
same as a bird”—but this seemed a bit
strong for my credulity. Nevertheless
I found the friendly brown fellow who
hangs around my barn when I was
following the chirping sound of a frog. ।
That he has the intelligence I do not '
doubt. In mating season he made the
morning rounds of his self-appointed
brat as regularly as a/log and in much'
the same fashion. I was convinced that !
he sought something fur more vital than 1
game—that mark of some frllow-yisitor I
at one of his “sniffing-posts.” And he I
stood guard over what eventiMflljr bt-J
| came his nest long * before there were
any eggs in it.
The only other snake with whom I
ever felt on terms of intimacy was a
handsome king snake who nightly hunt-
ed the trade-rats beneath my (’alifornia .
cabin and daily harrassed the gophers
in my garden. Being of a solitary na- J
ture. he did not favor apy one with his j
conversation taking my appreciation of
his value as a rattlesnake patrol entire-
ly for granted; that is unless it was
he who uttered an odd clicking which
I always laid to a beetle.
But Mr. Hudson gives a wholly en-
chanting account of a snake chorus
heard in his mysterious South Ameri-:
can land. And who would understand I
them half as well us Mr. Hudson?
Still one may hope that some day in
early spring an eavesdropper at the
mouth of the ground-hog's Indo would
overhear the blacksnnkrs. snug in h.s
summer nest discussing the advisabil-
ity of venturing forth before 4heir host I
awakens. Who knows but it might be I
you or me?
Pointed Paragraphs
Egyptian mummies are another of the
numerous dry subjects.
A woman will pardon lack of sense
quicker than she will lack jf muunrrs.
There is more style ao nit sonic hoard-
ing houses now than there is uruj.
Other people must die in order tl’ai
the undertaker nay liv”.
Men who-e only bo are womens'
looks are students of •oily.
When a man is dj’.’B his cn*nn ! (s
stop kicking him and nij fii-nds le-
gin.
If you uquld be ; :.'d accord'll* to
your own idea of your v.orth make your-
self neceaaar''.
Don't null up in t?.e rou l 1 v success
and wait for th? other Gdlew to go
ahead.
A young husband eaU* hi* wife
“Birdie” b<'ca’i“* sL • h alv. i.vs asso-
ciated in bis mind with u bill.
Never judge a man by the silk um-
berlla he carrier: he may have left a
cotton one somewhere in its place.
Eve was the first woman ami prob-
ably the last who did not gather up
her skirts and scream at the sight of
a mouse.
Where To Go
Majestic Theater: Julius Tnnneu
“Chatterbox.” and six other vaudeville
n< .s with feature picture “The Cup of
Fury.”
Grund Opera House: Motion pictures
Henry B. Warner in “The Gray Wolfs
Ghost” and Charlie Chaplin in “The
Fireman.”
Empire Theater: Motion picture''.
Anita Stewart in “Her Kingdom of
Dreams* and Harold Lloyd in “Bump-
ing Into Broadway.”
Royal Theater: Five acts of Pan-
tages vaudeville and feature picture.
Princess Theater: Loew vaudeville
and feature photoplays.
Palace Theater: Ma<-k Sennett com-
edy. “Yankee Doodle in I*?rlin.”
Copyrighted 1020 by The Tnbuue Assoe. (New York Tribune)
MARCH 1 1920.
A Laugh or Two
5 •
An itinerant conjurer was pertorm-
’ ing in a loft over a gunpowder fae-
. tory in England. His audience con-
r j -1.i.ul nnlv nf n'
der what he’ll do next;”
Just then the sailor lit his pipe ami
' threw the match on the floor through
। a crack in which it fell into the gun-
powder factory beneath. Two min-
utes later there was no sailor no fac-
tor\ no conjurer no anything ex-
cept the parrot who found himself on
a steeple a mile away with one soli-
. tary feather remaining.
Taking a comprehensive e ghu>ce at
the surrounding scenery the bird
eiarulated:
“Well that's downright amazing
trick! I wonder what he’ll do next?”
I — I
I At least one manuger believes twat
‘the actress should lead a pure aiid
simple life. “Cynical disillusioned
I actresses are no
I good” he said at a
i dinner. “I romcm-
i her an actress of
I mine some years
ago who fell down
badly in a part I’d
given her.
“ ‘Zook here* I
said the morning
un: iuvi uiiiK ■
after she fell .
' down ‘all the critics say you don’t [
t show half enough emotion in the *
I scene where your husband leaves youM\
j ne’er to return.*
‘The cynical disillusioned greature 1
I gave a hard laugh.
“‘Oh I don’t don’t 1?” she
sneered. ‘Well look here. Mr.
I’ve had six husbands leave me
never to return and I guess I know i ■
j how much emotion ought to be \ j
shown in such circumstances as well \
as anybody.’ ” . H
“Excuse me.” said the detective as
he presented himself at Hie door of
the music academy “but I hope you'll
tne what infor- V
si ana. iv
“Why you see. we got a tip from i
thr house next door that somebody
v.as murdering Wagner and the chief
sent me down here to work on the f|
case.” • u
“I presume Prof. Diggs is still writ- 4
ing papers on Egyptology?”
“No; a great light has broken on the
professor.”
“How so?”
“He has discov-
ered that the high
coat o f living
mean* more to him
I just now than any-
I thing the Egyp-
i dans ever did and
I he's writing letters
to the local papers
inr jovui ———
on profiteers that are masterpieces of
fiery invective.”
An Irish political candidate who felt
sure that a certain elector was against
him wa surprised to have that alec-
- tor call and nu-
QO. ■ I IMV Oil
inch” said his visi- j.
tor. “But after ye’d gone away I got
to thinkin' how yc reached yer hand
over the rail and *• mtrh’-d the pig’s
back till he lay down wid the pleasure
of it. I made un my mind that whin a
man was so soc’abJn as that wid a . 1
|w»or fellow crathure I wasn t the bboy
to vote agin’ him.” 11
slsted only of a'
sailor and his
parrot.
The conjurer
changed a half Jr
1 crown into a penmy
and the sailor re^r
marked:
“Well that’s a
good trick. I woh-
give me what infor-
mation you have
and not make any
fuw. M
“What do you
mean?” was the in«
dignant inquiry.
“Why that little
affair you know.”
“I don’t under-
stand.” iw
Tor can ana an-
nounce that he
would support him
to the limit. “Whin
the other day ye
called at my place
and stoo«l by the
nig*ty and tnlke<l
for half an hour ye
didn't budge me an
By BRIGGS \ I
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Diehl, Charles S. & Beach, Harrison L. The San Antonio Light (San Antonio, Tex.), Vol. 40, No. 42, Ed. 1 Monday, March 1, 1920, newspaper, March 1, 1920; San Antonio, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1616867/m1/6/?q=%22%22~1: accessed July 12, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; .