The Matagorda County Tribune. (Bay City, Tex.), Vol. 64, No. 10, Ed. 1 Friday, February 3, 1911 Page: 2 of 8
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Iway
kes
in Henry
Good
AND HIS SAD FRIEND
By GEORGE V. HOBART
suexcroworre
A You’ll be de-
9 lighted with the re- 9
y salts of Calumet Baking "
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TA Pure Feed Exposition, a
nochloago, 97.
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A leading enterprise developing a great in-
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stock. Legitimate. Bank references Write
JOHN BAKER, JR., Crocker Building, Sas Francisco
Texas Directory
Write for our
new handsome-
ly revised cata-
SEEDS
log. It will pay you as it is especially
compiled for our Southern States.
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The Texas Seed House
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M-CANE’S DETECTIVE AGENCY
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PATENTS
Obtained and Trade-Marks registered. Consul-
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Main office Lumberman’s Bank Building.
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HARDWAY & CATHEY
THE BEST STOCK
4 SADDLES 22.
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Straight or mixed cars out of Hous-
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is a wonderful new liq-
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=J? MEPAAYTE1L.
“I brought Tacks with me because
I had to do some shopping, and he’s
so much company,” Clara J explained,
when I joined them at the restaurant
by appointment.
“Tacks to always pleasant com-
pany,” I said, politely, but I deter-
mined to keep a watchful eye on my
youthful brother-in-law, nevertheless.
That kid was born with an abnor-
mal bump of mischief and. by pains-
taking endeavor he has won the
world's championship as an organ
izer of impromptu riots
“Oh, John!" said. Clara J when 1
began to make faces at the menu
card. "I didn't notice until now how
pale you look. Have you had a busy
day?”
“Busy!" I replied; -“well, rather.
I’ve been giving .imitations of a bull
fight. Everybody I met was the bull
and I was the fight. Nominate your
eats! What’ll it be. Tacks?"
“Sponge cake,” said Tacks promptly.
“What else?" asked Clara J.
“More sponge cake," the youth re-
plied, and just then the smiling and
sympathetic waiter stooped down to
pick up a fork Tacks had dropped.
In his anxiety not to miss any-
thing, Tacks rubbered acrobatically,
with the result that he upset a glass
of ice water down the waiter's neck,
and three seconds later the tray-
trotter had issued an extra and was
saying things in French that would
sound scandalous if translated.
It cost me a dollar to bring the dish
dragger back to earth, and Tacks said
I could break his ban’ll open when we
got home and take all the money if I'd
let him do it again.
"Uncle Peter is delighted beyond
measure with your business’ ability,”
Clara J. informed me after the treaty
“Old Friend Life Time Threw Me Down---”
of peace had been signed with the
waiter.
"He has a right to be!" I muttered,
painfully, as I thought of my recent
swift ride down the mountain side on
D. Q. & N. I had had a profit, of
17,000 in It and then it went down
and wiped me out.
"He says that by following his di-
rections carefully you are seven
thousand richer today Are you.
John?"
"Sure, Peaches!" I answered truth-
fully, “I’m seven to the good."
For my late uncle had left me seven
horses, which bad just been brought
to me from Kentucky by Murf Htg-
ginbottom, his old trainer.
I neglected to add the word skates,
but, then, what’s a little thing like
that amount to among friends?
- "Seven in one day," she said, en-
thusiastically.
“Seven In one day—one of them
with four white feet,” I sold, like a
man in a dream.
“What do you mean?” Clara J,
asked; “is that a Wall street ex-
pression?"
“No," I answered hastily; "I was
only talking to myself and I held the
‘phone too close to my mouth. Let’s
start this banquet with a hot wave—
waiter, clam cocktails for three!"
"Uncle Peter, Aunt Martha and I
had a long talk today about your
prospects in Wall street," Clara J.
rattled on. “Oh, John, you don’t
know bow happy it makes me feel to
think that you’ll never, never go near
those awful race tracks again."
My thoughts took the ferry for Jer.
sey City, and I could hear Murf Hig-
ginbottom saying, "Yo‘ Uncle Owen
considered yo’ all as big Casino on the
eastern tracks, suh!" ,
“You’ll make a lot of money with
the seven you got today, won't you,
dear?" Peaches asked encouragingly.
"Possibly,” I replied, nervously;
“still, you never can tell. They may
get into the habit of running back-
wards-er, I mean, the market to very
uncertain!—Tacks, take your thumb
out of that butter!"
“I was so sorry t couldn't get you
on the ‘phone early this afternooa,”
Clara J. informed me. "I called up
your broker’s office down town, but
they couldn't find you.”
"Sorry I had to give you the busy
ear. Peaches, but the fact to I paddled
away to the office of Higginbottom A
Co., who wanted to put me wise to
some, er—that is, some new stock!"
"Railroad stock?” she inquired.
"Well, not exactly Twentieth Cen-
tury Limited or Royal Blue Flyers,"
I answered, "but I think some of it
could win from a slow freight if prop-
erly coaxed.
“Watered stock, I suppose!"
laughed Clara J.
“Yes, it was watered all right, but
not fed," I replied. "There wasn’t
much doing in oats until I led the way
to the barn." .
I had Peaches in the air by this
time, but she thought I was talking
the broker dialect, so she stayed on
the roof and watched the scenery go
by.
Just then I got a flash of Dike Law:
rence bearing down in our direction
under a full head of gasoline.
Dike was leading a three-days' jag
by the band and talking to it like a
child.
A good old fellow, Dike, but for
years he permitted a distillery to use
his thirst as a testing station and it
had put the dear boy away to the
conviv.
Dike was a good lawyer when he
worked at it, rich, unmarried, and the
.busiest buyer in the borough.
“H’ar’ye, Mrs. John? Howdy, John?
How do do, little man! Scuze mor for
int’rupting a family party, but I de-
mand ‘pology!" he spluttered.
“What’s wrong, Dike?" I inquired.
“Demand 'pology," Dike continued.
"Old friend life time threw me down
—lesh have drink! Your little son
growing shplendid boy, Mrs. John!"
“This Is Tacks, my little brother,
not my son, Mr Lawrence!" Clara J.
explained; “we haven't any chil-
dren,” she added nervously.
As I said before, Dike is the cham-
pion bun builder of my acquaintance,
consequently his conversational out-
bursts are never considered seriously.
“Shorry make such a shene, Mrs.
John!" old Doctor Benzine rattled
on, "but musht have ‘pology from
Ilfe-long friend. Threw me down
hard—waiter, bring bo’l wine, quart
wine, two quarts wine, whole case
wine—lesh have drink—musht have
•pology!"
"What’s gone wrong, Dike? Who
owes you an apology?" I asked in an
endeavor to calm him.
"You do,” he answered, trying to
look me in the eye; “wait till I get
back I’ll shplain why demand ‘pol-
ogy." and then his lamps started to
follow the room as it went round and
round. - * 7
Presently his gaze rested on Clara
J., and he continued, "Mrs. John,
your busband's gay Lothario— bet
two dollars tbash lasht time today
I'll be able to shay that word. Never
could shay word like that after sheven
o’clock. Mrs. John, you mush join
me demand ’pology from thish man.
Time's come when friendship sheashes
and we musht shtand togezzer, sho’ler
to sho’ler, Mrs. John, and so mush
your little son—I mean little brother
—for love of heaven please have little
son with you next time so I can shay
what I want to! Lesh have drink!”
“What did my husband do to of-
fend you, Mr. Lawrence!" Clara J.
asked, encouragingly.
"Threw me down- hard, cold, flat!
Life-long friend threw me down. I
shink I'll bust out crying!" Dike an-
swered, on the verge of tears.
“Where did I throw you down.
Dike?" 1 asked, smilingly
“Pershee Ehizzy!" he answered,
painfully.
"Where did you say? I snapped,
perceiving quickly that Dike and his
souse promised to lead me into the ice
house with Clara J.
“Jershee Shizzy!" Dike repeated
doggedly.
“Does your friend mean Jersey
City?" Clara J. asked, throwing out a
chill that cooled the room.
“Jershee Shizzy, ash what I shed,”
Dike put in. “If I don’t get ‘pology
I’ll bust out crying!"
“When did you see me in Jersey
City? How dare you make such aa
accusation against me?” I demanded.
"John," said Dike, trying earnestly
to look at me gravely, ‘‘I shaw you
In Jershee Shizzy zish aft’noon. Pen
shionvania elation, zish aft’noon.
Spoke to you politely—you threw me
down. Followed you to demand ‘pol-
ogy—you gave me shake.” Saying
this he grabbed a wine glass from the
table and held it close to his heart in
order to illustrate the intensity of his
feeling. ..
The next lustant a thick reddish
liquid began to flow sluggishly over
the bosom of his immaculate .white
shirt and was lost in the region of his
equator, seeing which Dike gave vent
He Upset a Glass of Ice Water Down
the Waiter’s Neck.
to a yell that brought the waiters on
the hot foot
- “I’m stabbed’ stabbed!” groaned
the startled jag-carpenter, clutching
wildly at his shirt front.
“It’s my clam cocktail," whispered
Tacks to me; “I poured it in his wine
glass ’cause they was too much to-
bascum sauce in it for me!" ’ -
"Brave boy!" I answered. “It was
a kindly deed. Come on, Clara J.,
the woods for ours!"
(Copyright, By. G. W. Dillingham Co.)
. 0---------------
Where the Quill Pen Survives.
Quill pens, as an official correspond
ent explains-,- survive in government
offices as outward and visible signs of
officialism, like blue paper and red
tape. In the courts’ they are indis-
pensable, for who can imagine counsel
taking a note with a steel pen or us-
ing it to point at a witness or to give
emphasis to an argument? But the
art of mending quills is almost lost,
and probably 99 out of 100 readers
who attempted to "nib” one after the
manner of Dotheboys Hall would suc-
ceed only in cutting their thumbs
The use of quill pens is by no
means confined to government offices.
Several well-known novelists still stick
to the quill; it is indeed the only writ-
ing implement with any personality—
if it is refractory you can coax it. The
mending of the quill does not require
much practise and you can buy for a
few shillings a little machine that
does It for you beautifully. You may
easily write 15,000 words with one
quill, mending it four times, which
gives six quills to the novel.—London
Chronicle.
Still Plenty of Beaver Fur.
“Several years ago the beaver was
becoming rare in Ontario," said Lieut.
Gov. John M. Gibson of the province of
Ontario. “But the beaver has so multi-
plied that steps have-been taken that
will permit his capture, the revenue
for the hide being used for park pur-
poses. In Algonquin park, where no
shooting of fur animals is allowed,
they are simply tumbling over one an
other. So it is with some of the other
smaller animals.
"In the far north there are a few
herds of buffalo left, but the buffalo
hide is no longer an article of com-
merce. The musk ox, which seems to
be an excellent substitute for the buf-
falo, appears capable of furnishing a
long, continuous supply of comfortable .
robes, out I rather think the Indian has
disposed of a great many and that the
animal is not to be found as extensive-
ly in northern Canada as was sup-
posed." ------------------------------------
President Taft's Joke.
President Taft likes a joke and
loves to be liked When be drops
work for play be Is as boyish about
It as when In college. Neither does
the president appear to be over-
sensitive about bis weight, which is
rather more than that of most men
He had gone to the Chevy Chase
club, outside Washington, for an aft-,
ernoon game of golf recently, and
came swinging out of the clubhouse
in golf togs, which if anything add to
his stature. Passing the tennis
courts he saw a Washington friend
who is heavy enough to have been
taken for the president at a distance
before now The president stopped
and smiled broadly at the efforts of
the stout one to reduce.
"Hello, Walker,", he said, as the
game slackened, "far be it from me
to suggest that you need that exer- !
cise, old man."
In a New York Restaurant.
"Beg pardon, mum," said the
waiter, "but we can’t serve a lady
unaccompanied by a gentleman ”
“I presume any tort of an escort
win do?"
"Yes, mum.’’
"In that case, telephone down to
the bread line and have them send up
a hungry man.”
A LOST ART.
“It seems to me that our new maid
ought at least to know how to serve
water. If she was six years with her
■ last employer.”
"Well, It's not surprising, dear 1
- know her last employer.”
MERIT WINS
There is Probably No Other Known
Remedy the Fame of Which Be-
came World-Wide With So
Little Advertising As Resinol,
Merit won. Resinol did the work.
It cured where other remedies failed.
Its grateful user told the next suffer
er, and he in turn told another euffer
er, and be another, and so on and on
its fame spread by this magical verbo-
graph until it encircled the world.
The world knows now that Resinol
S will cure that torturing disease.
Eczema. Your druggist will confirm it,
and also will tell you that it is a quick
and certain cure for Erythema; for
Tetter, for Herpes, for Psoriasis, for
Eruption of Poison Ivy, for Impeti-
go and all eruptive skin diseases It
is perfectly harmless and is the best
application for the chafing of infants,
for Milk Rash, Scald Head and other
Infantile skin troubles It stops the
itching of Pruritus Anl or Itching
Piles instantaneously. Its efficacy for
this trouble alone has made it Indeed
a boon to- humanity. Resinol Soap
contains atbe same medication In- a
modified form It is delightfully re-,
freshing for the bath: keeps the skins
always pure and maintains the ruddy
glow of health. It gives luster to the
hair and keeps the scalp free of dan- |
druff. Resinol Salve and Resinol Soap
are for sale in all drug stores Res-
inol Chemi te Co., Baltimore, Md.
To Arrange Flowers, e
Here are five golden rules which
should be observed by those who often
arrange flowers Use plenty of foliage
Put your flowers in very lightly. Use
artistic glasses. Do not put more than
two or, at the most, three different
kinds of flowers in one decoration.
Arrange your colors to form a bold
contrast or, better still, a soft har-
mony The trim of the decorator should
be to show off the flowers—not the
vases that contain them; therefore the
simpler ones are far preferable to
even the most elaborate. Glasses for
a dinner table should be either white,
a delicate shade of green, or rose col-
or. according to the flowers arranged
<□ them.
Important to Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle of
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
Bears the » 0
Signature of Ca.4). 7.eleke1.
In Use For Over 30 Years.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Unnecessary.
“Do you tell your wife everything
you do when she is away?"
"No; the neighbors attend to that.”
—Houston Post.
ONLY ONE “BROMO QUININE”
That is LAXATIVE BROMO QUANIN E. Look for
the signature of E. W. GROVE. Used the World
ever to Cure a Cold in One Day 26c.
It is better to lose in loving than
to gain by self seeking
When You Think
Of the pain which many women experience with every
month it makes the gentleness and kindness always associ-
ated with womanhood seem to be almost a miracle.
While in general no woman rebels against what she re-
gards as a natural necessity there la no woman who would
not gladly be free from thia recurring period of pain.
Dr. Plerce’s Favorite Prescription makes
weak women strong and sick women
well, and gives them freedom from pala.
It establishes regularity, subdues Inflame
mation, heals ulceration and cures fe-
male weakness.
Sick women are invited to consult us by letter, free.
All correspondence strictly private and sacredly con- na
fidential. Write without leer and without fee to World’s Dispensary M.A
ical Association, R. V. Fierce, M. D., President, Buffalo, N. Y.
If you want a book that tells all about woman’s diseases, and how to our
them at home, aend 31 one-cent atamps to pay cost of wrapping and mailing
only, and we will aend you a free copy of Dr. Pierce’s great thousand - part
illustrated Common Sense Medical Adviser — revised, up. to-date de 1
handsome French cloth binding. " *
Roses for
Your Garden
You know the fun of “pottering around"
in your Flower Garden--Planting time
will soon be here—make your plans now.
you want Roses—and no Garden ever a
contained too many—remember that Roses 1
have been a specialty of the Vestal Nur-
series for many years.
_ We are now offering several hundred
Superb kinds, including all the best that
are worth growing When you buy Ven-
tal Roses, you secure strong thrifty,
plants that bloom profusely this year.
We want you to know how good our
Roses really are, so we have decided to
offer you 20 Superb varieties, selected
from our list, ef one year old plants, for $1.00 postpaid, or 12 two-rear-
eld Roses for $3.00 by expreNN prepaid. We will personally make the
selection and they are sure to please and make you one of our permanent
patrons if you once try them.
May we send you one of our catalogues? IT’S FREE besides describ-
Ing our Roses—It contains Interesting facts about all other Bedding
Plants, also Shrubs, Vines, Evergreens, and Berries.
JOS. W. VESTAL * SON, BOX 856, LITTLE ROCK, ARKANSAS
A MothersIt
wisely directed, will cause her to
give to her little ones only the most
wholesome and beneficial remedies
and only when actually needed, and
the well-informed mother uses only
the pleasant and gentle laxative rem-
edy—Syrup of Figs and Elixir of
Senna—when a laxative is required,
as it is wholly free from all objeo-
tionable substances. To get its ben-
eficial effects always buy the genu-
ine, manufactured by the California
Fig Syrup Co.
For SPRAINS, CUTS and BRUISES.
For 60 years the Standard Remedy for
Man and Beast. Contains no alcohol;
cannot sting or torture the flesh;
soothes and heals Burns, Cuts and
Wounds in a hurry.
Mr. J. D. Andrews, Greensboro, Ga., writes:
“As long as I can remember I have used the
Mexican Mustang Liniment. I always keep
it in my house and if any of my family get in
jured in any way such as sprains, cuts, bruises,
etc., 1 always use it—t is far cheaper than
doctors’ bills. Onmy horses and stock 1 never
think of using anything else I commend It
to all farmers; it will keep their families and
also their horses and stock in good condition.”
25c. 50c. S1 a bottle at Drug & Gen’l Store..
Constipation
Vanishes Forever
Prompt Relief-Permanent Cure
CARTER’S LITTLE At.
LIVER PILLS never
fail. Purely veget- 4
able—act surely A
but gently on 9
the liver. Aho
Stop after ge
dinner 0
distres—P. 1
cure indi- & a
CARTERS
WHITTLE
DIVER
EPILLs
gestion— improve the complexion — brighten
the eyes. Small Pill, Small Dose, Small Price
Genuine mutbenr Signature
The most democratic thing in
the world
Gillette
KNOWN THE
WORLD OVER
DEFIANCE STARCH-" "
—other starches only 12 ounces-same price and
“DEFIANCE" IS SUPERIOR QUALITY.
W. N. U., HOUSTON, NO. 6-1911.
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The Matagorda County Tribune. (Bay City, Tex.), Vol. 64, No. 10, Ed. 1 Friday, February 3, 1911, newspaper, February 3, 1911; Bay City, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1696441/m1/2/: accessed June 24, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Matagorda County Museum & Bay City Public Library.