The Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 4, No. 9, Ed. 1 Thursday, April 3, 1919 Page: 3 of 4
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THE THRESHER, APRIL 3, 19i9
Page Three
You sing a song or two,
And you have a little chat,
You make a UtMe candy fudge,
And then you get your hat.
You ho!d her hand and say goodnight
As sweetly as you can.
Ain't that a hel! of an evening
For a great big heaithy man?
Shorty—"1 wish to ask a question about
a tragedy. "
Dr. Crawford—"Yes? "
Shorty—"What is my grade this
term?"
Nepos—"Are you superstitious?"
Hardin—"Not a bit."
Nepos—"Then lend me thirteen dol-
lars."
Mr. Edwards—"Has anybody any ques-
tions about the lesson?"
Hailey—"Where does it begin?"
Piggy—"Why do you leave your hat at
home these days?"
McFaddin—"Oh. when 1 bought it the
cierk said 1 couldn't wear it out!"
Hefore Exams.—Oh Lord of Hosts!
be with us yet. Lest we forget! Lest we
forget!
After Exams.—The Lord of Hosts was
with us not, for 1 forgot, for I forgot.
Personal—If the person that found my
Economics will kindly lose it in the
same place the incident will be closed.—
H. A. F.
Bobb—"It in said that more than one
person has been kilted by kissing."
Piggy—"Yea, but ain't it great stuff
if you iive through it?"
Can You imagine
Woodhridge talking with his hands
tied?
it it Rumored That
Two cows are required to contribute
to the process of half-soling Randiett's
shoes.
Professor McCaleb has finished his
studies abroad on the guitar and is
holding nightiy concerts in 31 m, ac-
companied by his select quartet.
Lovett is suffering from boiis. That
accounts for his standing up while eat
ing.
Frenchy has made a pubiic statement
that he is stiil as handsome as ever.
Girls, take note!
A. L. thinks that he can sing.
Oh death, where is thy sting!
"Bang!" went the rlfies at the parade
ground.
"Oo-oo," screamed the pretty girl—a
nice, decorous, surprised iittte scream.
She stepped back into the surprised arms
of a young man.
"Oh," she said, blushing. 'T was
frightened by the rifles. 1 beg your par-
don."
"Not at all," isaid the S'oung man.
"Let's go over and watch the artitlery."
Here lie the bones of Middleton
Secluded, sad, and ioneiy.
He tried to make some T. N. T.
And took one trial only.
MEMORIES
CLUB NEWS
Will Exchange—"Rejections of a Bach-
elor," for "Nursery Rhymes."—H. L. B.
Handlett is the finest after-dinner
speaker I ever heard.
A new book is appearing entitied "Wins-
borough's Midnight Frolic, or Sleeping in
Bear-skin."
* * *
With Apoiogies to Coieridge.
1.
It is an Institute gardener
And he stoppeth one of three.
"By thy long hoe and glittering eye
Wherefore stoppest thou me?"
II.
He holds me with his gleaming eye
i cannot choose but hear,
And thus speaks on, that cruel man,
"There is a rule this year—
III.
"Tho pansies be here and roses there
And flowers on every hand,
There is a law, thou must not pick
The flowers," quoth this man.
IV.
Pansies, pansies everywhere,
As iovely as can be,
Pansies, pansies everywhere
And not a one for me.
(Mora!) V.
He fareth best who picketh, not
These flowers great and small,
For those who would In peace abide,
They pick them not at all.
—Artie Choke
* * *
"There is an awful rumbling in my
stomach—like a cart going over cobble-
stone pavements."
"It's probably that truck you ate this
afternoon out walking."
* * *
Senior: It takes a lot of brains to
be a Senior.
Soph.: Is that what happened to
yours?
* * *
Mr. Crawford (in Eng. 200): You will
find that incident in "Midnight's Summef
Dream."
Mr. Crawford: What is the best known
prose work of Milton's period?
Minnie K: The Progress of Pilgrim's
Bunyan.
Buddy Rose sat on a tack. Buddy Rose
Word comes to us that two or three
Sophomores are In the hospital suffer-
ing from the brutality of Napoieon on
"Free Shave Night."
We now know to a surety that Shep
perd wiii not take a dare.
Have the Freshmen dramatic taient?
Weil I guess! Did you see their act at the
Majestic the other night?
We are uncertain as to whether the
new signs in front of the A. B. apply to
everybody or Freshmen only.
Athtetic Note.
It is rumored that DePrato has ex-
ceptional ability as a pitcher.
News item.
The ladies permitted Mr. Fitch to at
tend classes today.
Ctoister Chatter.
In the spring a young man's fancy
Lightly turns to thoughts of love,
Fuii heediess that his declarations
Float to listening ears above.
A Farmer went to Chem. one day
And oh, 'tis sad to teil,
He struck a match to T. N. T.
And it blew that J2L. .
A CHEMiST'S DREAM.
Last night I dreamed that I. was dead
And I found myself below
Amid the fiery depths of hell.
Where ail the chemists go.
There was a special den for us
A cave off to one side.
Where the pungent odors of chlorine
And sulphur did abide.
The den it was a dismal hole,
With shrieks and yells it rung.
Each Hend was making H20
To cool his parching tongue.
Sulphuric acid on each did drip,
To make them yell the more.
The "Devil" taught the frightful class,
To which he was a bore.
Just as I entered, he said to me:
"As on earth, you shall here below
Spend all your time in learning a thing
That it isn't your business to know."
—W. H. O. T.
Yes. he always says, "Waiter, give that
check to me."
Nelson—"I am going to a masquerade
party and I don't know how to disguise
myself."
Koch—"Why not shave?"
Mary made an angel-cake,
For her darling Charley's sake.
For her dear sake
Charley ate every crumb.
Then he heard an angel's drum
Calling softly, "Charley come."
And Charley went.
Dr. Weiser's Motto—"They aha!! not
pass."
Some of the Freshmen have evidently
been reading "Rover Boys at Coiiege,"
or the "Georgia Boys at Rice."
A, B, C.
A stands for air of the heated variety—
a Junior specialty.
B stands for builneck, otherwise known
as Heath's delight.
C stands for caps of the hue of old Ire-
land.
D stands for dignity, which the Seniors
have <not).
E stands for exams or the nightmare of
all classes.
F stands for Freshman or simplicity per-
sonified.
G stands for gailant or Shepperd to the
rescue.
H stands for hungry, or Corker at the
bat.
I stands for ichthyology or the science
of slimes.
J stands for Juniors, of whom the less
said, the better.
K stands for kaiser—lay the biame on
him.
L stands for lengthy or lectures on a
hot day.
M stands for Majestic or Fish target
range.
N stands for nut, the author, for ex-
ample.
O stands for Owl—go ye there to sepa-
rate from the shekeis.
P stands for poetry or "Father, get the
hatchet."
Q stands for quantity (P and Q are
synonymous).
R stands for R^e, or the school that's
your own.
S stands for Shotwell—he cashes your
checks.
T stands for town, or "Lend me six bits."
U stands for uniform, a thing of the
past.
V stands for vamp of cloister growth.
W stands for work—a never ending
stream.
X stands for busted or "Why my health
failed."
Y stands for yourself. What have you
done for the school?
Z stands for zero—a prolific article on
exams.
GiRLS' TENNiS CLUB.
Every Friday the Hirls' Tennis Club
meets on the tennis court. Round Robins
are the form the games take so as to
accommodate as iarge a number of play-
ers as possibie. Several beginners have
taken their courage tor racquets) in hand
and have come out to learn. They are
succeeding very rapidty and are enthusi-
astic over the game.
Miss Dorothy Piumhiey has been eiect-
ed chairman of the tournament commit-
tee. The important duty of this com-
mittee. at present, is to either persuade
some benevolent person to present the
ciubs wit!) a cup to be played for daring
the tournament or provide the funds for
purchasing one. Since the Thresher has
such successfui advertisements, they are
seriousiy contempiating inserting an ad.
The club has voted tor a page in the
Campanile—so members come up with
your dues!
Meeting Friday at 12:30.
Y. M. C. A.
Last Wednesday there was a called
meeting of ail the Y. M. C. A. members
for the purpose of etectiag the members
of the advisory committee, suggested by
the cabinet. They were: Professors
H. A. Tsanoff, J. H. Chiiman and H. K.
Dennis of the facuity; Dr. Sears, the
minister; student representatives being
Paul F. Bobb, !!. M. Winsborough. and J.
It. Peterson. The purpose of this com-
mittee is to see after the work of the Y.
M. C. A. and assist it in every way.
Some other business matters having
been transacted, the motion to adjourn
was in order.
Tonsorlal work—Those classy coiiege
haircuts—See Alexander, Winsborough
and Fielder.
"What's the matter with the Juniors?"
"They are In love."
"With whom?"
"Themselves."
Dr. .Edwards—"Alright, Ed, you have
told enough about the wars outside of
England; now tell me about Elizabeth's
Internal troubles."
Ed—"Didn't know she had any. sir."
ELtZABETH BALDWtN LiTERARY
SOCtETY.
Monday. March 31. saw the E. B. L. S.
return to the subject of "Great Women "
from which study a digression of some
three or four weeks had been made.
Lillian Nichoison spoke on the subject
of "Women Physicians." . She toid of the
great difficulties women encountered in
endeavoring to obtain entrance to the
profession and how they have helped hu-
manity greatiy since that time. The
place of women physicians in iiterature
and their wonderfui assistance during
times of war was pointed out in a ciear
manner.
"Women Dramatists." and the part they
have played in literature, was interesting-
ly told by Frances Foote. it appears that
the writing of dramas has been seiected
as a profession by women iess often than
any other suitabie vocation. However,
three women, Mrs. Lytteiton, Lady Greg-
ory. and Sara Bernhardt, stand out in this
line, to whom are allied two weii-known
actresses. Madame Duse and Elien yerry.
THE MENORAH SOCtETY.
"Jewish Art" was the subject for dis-
cussion at the regular semi-monthly meet-
ing of the Menorah. heid on March 19. at
the Concordia Club. The discussion was
ted by Miss Bertha Louise Hetiman. who
spoke on "Jewish Art." and Miss Esther
Streusanth who explained about "The
Jew and Art." The topic was a very in-
teresting one. and the two iadies who
handied it so skiiifuily. proved to the
society that ancient Jewish art is the
foundation of a great many of our present
day designs and color schemes.
The society meets on every first and
third Wednesday night, at S:30 o'clock
at the Concordia Club on corner of La-
Branch and Walker and anyone interest-
ed is invited to attend. Members ate
urged to be present.
Saturday evening. March 22, the Men-
orah was deitghtfully entertained at the
home of one of the members. Miss Ber-
tha Louise Hellman. The evening was
most pleasantly spent, music and danc-
ing being the chosen diversions.
In one of the contests Mr. Schram.
the vice-president of the society, raptured
the souvenir, an "Owl." During the
evening a deiicious salad course was
served. The guests departed at a late
hour.
Absolutely—absolutely — yes — you're
right. Sure — absolutely—yes—yes—ab-
solutely. Sure, etc.. for two straight
hours In the 'phone office.
Tracy Thomas—"Love's a funny propo-
sition."
Koch—"Yes. I admit—love is a phoney
proposition."
Nepos wants to kinHw why the Rice
management doesn't put horns on their
elevators to let sOmehody know when
thev are going, to pass the thirteenth
floor. Y
Red wants to know what chance he has
with a Locomobile, a Plerce-Arrow. a
Wlnton and A. and M.
-%/e an J C/assPP
—.S/tOM/J &H/ 5o
plenty of it too in the
line of we're
showing this season—
71an.y—
Brown.?—
and —
In just a style to suit!
and priced right too,
in the line of
WE SELL
PHOEWJT
SOCKS
E0W!N GLAPP AM HOWARD & FOSTER SHOES
& tScoggtns tS/ioe Co.
"MEN'S SHOES EXCLUSIVELY"
524 Main Sheet Ground Ftoor Rtce Hotef
For Your Spring Suit, Hat and Haberdashery See
/ONES & HOFFMAN CO.
4)2 MAIN STREET
7*^/7/7^/ %?7<^ j
re/"7Y<7/, i
-4 w<?y ///rwo/V j
An ideal place in Houston for noonday lunch, i
afternoon tea or party luncheons. !
rrt ] 9 ] 9 Ctass Photo
E1HVAHI3S STL mo
7)2 FANNIN
The
First National Bank
OF HOUSTON
Houston, Texas
Cap#a/
-Surp/us
DepostYs
. % 2,000,000.00
- # 300,000.00
- ooo,ooo.oo
Carter Building Barber Shop
JOE. P. HE!NR!CH. Prop.
PHONE PRESTON )833
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The Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 4, No. 9, Ed. 1 Thursday, April 3, 1919, newspaper, April 3, 1919; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth229825/m1/3/?rotate=90: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.