The Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 4, No. 11, Ed. 1 Thursday, April 17, 1919 Page: 4 of 4
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Page Four
THE THRESHER, APRIL 1?, t919
Toast to Juniors at Picnic.
The world 4a AUed with Sowers,
The dowers are Hlied with dew;
The dew is ailed with love.
And you and you and you.
Here's to the friends we class as o!d,
And here's to those who are new;
May the new grow to us old,
And the old ne'er grow to us new.
Let's be gay. right whUe we may,
And seize all love with laughter;
And we'll be true as long as you.
And not a moment after.
Freshman Sung.
We're Fish.
We are a gang out here, and mighty
green,
Dut we're Fish.
We're as racy as a Hying machine,
But we're Fish.
Those cotlege boys they try to vamp us
As we are watking o'er the campus.
We are so mighty, a tittle flighty.
And that's not aH, stiti,
We are Fish.
Each Freshman lass improves her ciass,
cause
We're Fish.
Ami on those dear oid Profs, she makes
an awful mash, cause
We're Fish.
And when examinations come,
Why, we'U just put them on the bum.
And what wiii poor oid Rice
Do wh'en we are thru, cause
We are Fish.
— f To the tune ' 'X Everything.")
—By P. A. L.
A Near-Homaace.
The Freshman Mushed and hung his
head
And wished and prayed that he wan
Oh.
He loved her, but he dare not tell
For fear she—that she would cry—
well!"
1H30.
Rice is turned agin me,
My friends, they say, they guess
That nothin' good is in me
Ami I'm full of maliciousness.
i net the biame of doing
AH other peopie's sass,
And i'm sure a goin' to ruin
("uz I belong to the Junior ciass.
They say ihev jes' can't study
Cuz noise predominates,
And they reckon that everybudy
Knows who the professor hates.
Becux we jes' won't iisten,
t'nx we think we know a plenty,
That's how the folks are hissin'
My class of nineteen twenty.
And when there's any vampin'
And the boys have lost their hearts,
They say the Juniors ve been stampin'
And a usin' of their arts.
And even now when spring has came
And peopie are gettin' spoonier,
Fverybudy hiatnes it jes' the satne
On us unsophisticated Juniors.
Fotks don't know how we suffer
in our uncompiainin' way.
Thfy think we're gittin' tougher
And more worser every day.
Last Sunday night at meetin',
When some one seen me pass,
H<^ prayed out loud a greetin'
For the conceited Junior ciass.
Xow. i'm tired of bein' foilowed
By the Freshman boys each day.
And then of bein' coiiared
For takin' gilds beaux away.
What if I do make the moon rise
And citil out stars a pienty,
I ain't lay the biame of the whoie skies
On the ciass of nineteen twenty.
Xow. when we die. by thunder,
! hope, midst St. Peter's fuss,
ile'il iitid that some ciass was a wonder
And'il iay the blame on us.
Then we'll sing the song sonorous,
And go saiiing along at iast,
A shoutin' a grand old chorus
To my much abused Junior ciass.
—A-Lass.
She was a dignified Senior tall,
Who'd tempt any Adam on earth to fall,
if she'd cast a glance on a tired guy
His feeltns' 'd fluctuate up to the sky.
Freshman, shy. the cute little sliver,
Drove along one day in his flivver.
His suit had just had a brand new press
When he passed a damsel in distress.
Her hair was down and lay at her feet.
Her head was bald as a sugar beet.
Her teeth were out and her mouth sunk
in;
Her complexion was as yellow as a
pumpkin.
Her eyes were blurred and full of tears,
She showed every one of her forty years.
Powder was gone, and so was the paint;
She was ugly enough to make a man
faint.
But Freshman kindly got out of his
Lizzie,
And to heip the Senior at once got busy.
Her powder and paint, her teeth and
her hair
He helped her put on with the greatest
of care.
DISTRICT H. S. MEET
TO BE HELD HERE
On Friday, the 18th of April, the high
schools of the district in which both
Houston and Galveston are found, will
hold their annual district meet. In this
event the high schools of the various
counties will send their best men to
compete before the winners go to the
State meet at Austin. The material for
future college teams will be for the
most part from these candidates, and
therefore the meet will be of consider-
able Interest inasmuch as It affects Rice.
All those of the institute who come from
high schoois of this district will prob-
ably see the young men of previous
school years and lots of your friends
and acquaintances from home towns.
She thanked him most kindly and gave
liitn her hand.
And toid him that he was a sweet little
man.
I hope some day that you'il be the
satne
! As 1 was today, when along you came.
And that Pi) be abie to give you aid
; As you gave me," said this Senior maid.
So she smiled at Fishie and iooked so
sweet
That she thought he ought to drop at
her feet.
But now the Freshman thinks he's wise;
He notices not the Senior giris' eyes.
His fond dreams they are aii shattered
I As the Senior's beauty—his wits are aii
scattered.
j And the Freshman, shy, the cute little
sliver,
Drives along iu his small tin flivver.
He passes the maidens, left and right;
But he learned a lesson from the Senior
fright.
Now he's hard-boiled!
-A Lass.
L.ist Saturday afternoon at 2 o'clock
was when it happened. The Rice corner
is where it took place. What was it?
Why, two of the nuttiest nuts of Rice
gave an exhibition for the benefit of
the Houstonians. Beg pardon? Oh,
yes, it created quite a bit of excitement.
You see, it waK this way: Ford and
Hartley had made a bet and iost. so it
was necessary to go to the Rice corner
and crawl a biock on their hands and
feet. No one believed that they would
actually do it. but nevertheless they did.
and have you noticed how prosperous
they have been looking for the last sev-
eral days?
To Dr. Wilson.
! Oh, that Freshman class is a corker, I
vow,
I They are forever raising a row;
j Some fellow whistles, another guy-
swears,
And notes are written by the scores.
; But down in front, with a smite on his
face, *
One sees the professor looking in space.
He lectures to himself and talks so iow
That the class never knows when 'tis
time to go.
But every once in a while one gets a
surprise
- When Prof, raises his voice and lifts
up his eyes;
jAnd here and there some one faints
dead
^ At the shock of hearing what is said.
i A tube or "chube" has changed its type
And in physics is now called a pipe.
There picture shows are shown each
day,
And our Prof, is the hero at piay.
He fixes his prisms and turns on the
ltght
And watches the spectrum run and
fight,
And then our professor has a race,
And with the spectrums he tried to keep
pace.
He chases them about, here and there,
Over the table and under the chair;
And when at iast he has scored
One sees the spectrum on the board.
—Physics Shark.
/J
isn't He About Right?
Found at the end of a Freshman
theme:
"Now I have come to look upon life
with this attitude: Life is just one fool
thing after another; iove is just two
fooi things after each other."
Wanted.
A permanent romantic attachment.
Wiii pay my dues and take him to the
Junior Prom. Apply to the Junior or
Senior vamping giris.
Fair Enough!
"Wasn't the Sophomore Thresher
good?"
"Yes; iook at the material they had
to work on—the Juniors."
Self Realization.
Dr. Wiison: "Two paraiiel lines meet
in infinity; that means they don't meet
at aii."
Weary Senior: "That's where I'm
going to meet my sweetheart."
Boys, Speak Pp.
A Junior giri offers to pay her dues
for the prom if aiong with her receipt
she gets a man. Any one who wishes
to apply for the job, put his notice in
next week's Thresher.
Philosophy of Hats.
Air. Tsanoff, trying to impress on the
minds of his Phii. 410 class, the fact
that ail religions are good and one re-
ligion cannot suit every one, asked:
"What is the best religion?" He con-
tinued to illustrate his point, "One hat
does not fit ail heads? Which is the
best hat?"
And one bright philosopher, after
meditating deeply, answered, "The Stet-
son?"
The Professor.
i listened
f Without, understanding),
And thought you
Dignified . . .
infallible . . .
A Superman . . .
Science Incarnate . . .
As you lectured to us
In your technical jargon.
But now—
The dream shatters.
1 have learned the lingo.
Besides;
Once . . .
In the laboratory . . .
1 heard you whistle!
-R.
Oh. Xepos!
Excitement in the cloisters
Over the sign and hanging snake,
But it was oniy a little Fish stunt
Deciaring the Sophs a fake.
Up waiked Mr. Nepos,
He was feeling awfuity big.
But on the shouider of his coat, Sh—
Wast part of a female wig.
Far be it from me to criticize,
But, Nepos, observe this ruie:
Be sure your coat is brudTted good
Before you come to school.
—X. Y. X.
S. O. 8.
Corker had a little spud,
A ton of them, in fact;
And even those we wouldn't eat—
Next meai he'd send 'em back.
He sent 'em out to mess one day,
According to his rule,
And Mrs. Kubter had to feed
The whoie disgusted school.
And so the waiters took 'em back;
But still they lingered near.
And sure enough, at supper time
Once more they did appear.
"What makes him serve so many
spuds?"
The starving waiters cried,
"Oh, spuds are rawther cheap, you
know."
A Mexican replied.
Spring.
The heavy odor of fresh, damp earth
Surges up to the sapphire heavens;
The South wind, touching the strings
of her lute,
Makes a moan q,s of surf In the pine
trees;
The glittering fire of the sun bathes all
With golden essence of leaf-filtered
rays;
And the mockingbird calls to his love In
the oak,
Spring!" sings he.
—R.
Alas!
Little girl, to her mother: "No, I
won't go to public schooi. I shaii wait
until sister finishes Rice and then I'il
go to her and she can teach me all that
bugoiogy and chemistry, and I won't
have to meet no strange teacher ladies,
and we won't have no bad boys—won't
have no boys 'taii, and no old girls to
vamp 'em. We'il just learn lab. in the
cloisters aii day long."
Wonder which Fish has been confid-
ing iu her young sister?
Freshman Boy: "Don't you want to
wear my sweater with my letter on?"
Modest Maiden: "Oh, no! That per-
spirer iooks too hot."
Certainly!
Instructor: "And so we see that the
radius of curvature is equal to the recip-
rocal of the second derivative divided
by one pius the square of the first de-
rivative, denominator quantity to three
halves power. Understand?"
No answer.
Instructor: "Isn't that right?"
Blair Stewart (sotto voice): "Must
be."
Mental Telepathy?
Mr. Draper: "The lecture is iate in
beginning. There is no time to take the
roil. Wiii all those who are absent
please hand in their names on a slip of
paper at the end of the hour?"
Night.
Glittering jewels—
Crimson, green, white—
Scattered in smothering blackness;
A milky veil of mist
Woven through.
MEW HLL FMMM BY
Be it enacted by the Students' Coun-
cil In assembly April 18, 1919, that;
I. Section 1. A Hali Committee
shall be elected annually whose duty
shall be to direct and regulate the life
in the Resldental Halls to the best in-
terests of the residents.
Section 2. The Hall Committee shall
be composed of two members from each
hall and one resident faculty member.
Student members of the committee shall
be elected by the residents of their hall.
Two-thirds of the residents of a hall
shall constitute a quorum of that hall.
The faculty member shall be elected by
the student members of the committee
at their first meeting. The organiza-
tion, must be completed within the first
three weeks of the academic year.
Section 3. The committee shall have
the power to perfect its own organiza-
tion. Underclassmen and men who have
not been In residence at the halls for
one year or more shall be ineligible for
election.
II. No student shall be a member
of the Students' Association who has not
paid all assessments and dues of said
association.
Article IV, Section 5, Paragraph d.—
The Student Council shall have the pow-
er to make all laws and enactments
necessary to carry out the purpose of
the association. . . . Any bill framed
by the Council shall become effective
within ten (10) days of its publication
uniess contested by a petition bearing
the signatures of seventy-five (75)
members of the association.
RICE RACQUET CLUB
NEW ORGANIZATION
(Continued from Page 1)
tute. Its membership is composed of
Rice men exclusively. It is to be a Rice
ciub with the best interests of Rice at
heart.
Already in addition to numerous con-
ferences a format meeting has been
hetd, the endorsement of Coach Arbuck-
te procured, officers elected, and plans
for the future discussed. First of all,
it is pianned to be a Rice club and, as
stated, to boost the school and more par-
ticularly tennis within the school. An
elimination tournament wiii be hetd
among the members and other contests
Btaged. The committee on these in-
cludes Parker and Alexander, it is also
rumored that the club has several so-
cial events up its sieeve. The officers
elected were Parkman Johnson, presi-
dent, and Lucius Lamar, vice-president
and treasurer.
Rice has atways needed a men's ten-
nis tfHA). Some sort of permanent stu-
dent organization which could push the
sport properiy and with which outsiders
might get in touch for one reason or
another. The need has long been felt.
Otd-timers spoke of it. Recent Thresh-
er editorials have expressed it. And
now is born the Rice Racquet Ctub to
flit the bitt.
Easter Straws
Your Easter Hat is here and awaits
your selection. We are showing
the new blocks and all the wanted
braids. High Grade Hats that pos-
sess distinction.
Yachts, $3 up
Bangkoks, Panamas,
Leghorns,
$5 to $15
-M7T5E4C770ArMMSrEE KOCRS"
509 Main Street
0pp. Hiee Mote!
Mew Links Enameled in Colors to Match
Your Fancy Colored Shirts
7.7. 7^%Wry Co.
419 Main Street Corner Prairie Avenue
Ge/ /n/o ^4 Area?
/Va? ybr Eas?ey
You will find here every
new style—every
new straw
A! Price. You WiU W.at T. P.y
#2. #3. <?4, anJ up
SPLITS, SENNETTS
PANAMAS
BANGKOKS AND
BAL1BUNTALS
.See Our Dtsp/ay
0//M71S
308 Main
308 Matn
/row
77^
/raw
rojV
PH? ye#
ndo<
3t2 MAtW STREET
MCE & BELK
Chronic!e
—this witl buy you the
best Tropica] Worsted
you have ever owned for
the money. Fact. They
are worth much more, but
this Is our "special" to
build up a big Easter busi-
ness.
yMsg & gmtrhMH
THE SHOP FOR MEN
Rice Hots! Bldg.
U-No-Where
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The Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 4, No. 11, Ed. 1 Thursday, April 17, 1919, newspaper, April 17, 1919; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth229827/m1/4/?rotate=270: accessed June 23, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.