The Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 9, No. 11, Ed. 1 Thursday, November 29, 1923 Page: 3 of 8
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THE THRESHER
HOUSTON, TEXAS
3
THE RiCE CREDO
ta H. L. MeaehtH md Gww JMH
and at those to whom they MM to acknowtedge thdr !a-
WE, THE STUDENTS OF RICE INSTITUTE, CHEER.
FULLY RELIEVE:
I.
That every giri who crones her
legs does so for ditptay purposes/
II.
That the rough dancing at school
hops is done by intruders from town.
HI.
That the head janitor of the Insti-
tute receives a larger salary than the
President of the University of Texas.
IV.
Tha+ ail unmarried profs, are either
dittsolufe or he-Dians.
V.
That unlimited quantities of booze
can be easily secured at the Turning
Basin.
VI.
That hay-!ofts in barns are no
longer used chiefly for storing hay.
VII.
That the president visits the In-
stitute twice a month.
VIII.
That biology lab. assistants will
pass any girl who bestows proper at-
tentions upon them.
IX.
That freshmen need to be tamed.
X.
That to play society, money and a
car are the only essentials.
XI.
That certain of our athletes tough-
en themselves by avoiding all under-
clothing.
XII.
That every co-ed aspires to vamp
a prof, or a football hero.
XIII.
That a pretty girl never gives one
a lift on the boulevard.
XIV.
That seniors are snobs.
XV.
That biology lab. assistants never
root at games.
XVI.
That football piayers sacrifice them-
selves for the glory of their Alma
Mater.
XVII.
That a box of eandy never arrives in
the dorms, when less than 23 ac-
quaintances of the recipient are
present.
XVIII.
That sophomores are conceited.
XIX.
That the English professors pur-
posely and maliciously avoid exam-
ination questions in lectures.
XX.
That all dubious-jokes in the cam-
pus humorous magazine are porno-
graphic.
XXI.
That Doctor Blayney should be
President of the United States.
XXII.
That studying at night causes
rings under the eyes.
XXIII.
That rings under the eyes are not
caused by studying..
XXIV.
That one who busts out of the In-
stitute will make the Honor Roll at
any other Texas college.
... XXV.
That the Decameron is immoral.
XXVI.
That Coles Philips' hosiery paint-
ings are the acme of American art.
XXVII.
That girls with unbobbed hair are
hopelessly slow.
XXVIII.
That all bobbed hair girls are fast.
XXIX.
Thft the monkeys in Hermann
Park provide constant amusement.
XXX.
That sitting out a dance means
necking.
XXXI.
That the surest way to become so-
phisticated is to take certain biology
courscs offered by Rice.
XXXII.'
That school spirit* is a synonym of
yelling for the team and the student
who doesn't yell is disloyal to the
school.
XXXIII.
That all girls who attend picnics in
Hermann Park do so in hopes of meet-
ing Rice boys.
XXXIV.
That roughness by the home team
show? adroitness and a fighting spirit.
xxxxv.
Thft rough playing by the oppos-
ing team is dirty. ,
XXXVI.
That the International Affairs Dis-
cussions Group fits its members for
ambassadorships.
XXXVII.
That registrars are suave.
XXXVIII.
That certain of the professors
blush when they remove their bath
robes to take a shower.
XXXIX.
That after a dance every couple
drives out to the country.
XL.
That upon receiving his degree, an
academ is offered a salary of $15 a
week.
XLI.
That atl good3ooking girls are
dumh.
XLII.
That all homely girls are intelligent
XLIII.
That any boy who reads the Cen
tury and the Yale Review is destined
to become a college professor.
XLIV.
That any girl who reads these pub
lications is destined to become an old
maid.
XLV.
That all profs, are lazy.
Cheer*up!
ANY one of our hand-
** some overcoats will
help you to shake the
winter blues. They wrap
around one in carefree
fashion and give swag-
ger smartness and win-
ning warmth. Extraor-
dinary fabrics and fit at
ordinary prices.
$35 $40
Extra Value
Overcoats
$29.75
Duplicates of these Over-
coats would have to be
sold at a higher price.
Christmas—Just a Few
Weeks Off
Lots of fun and presents,
and we take pleasure in
suggesting to you a
CORONA Portable Type-
writer as a moat practical
gift for mother, father,
daughter, son, sister.
brother or close personal
friend. The cost is nom-
inal—$60.00 cash, includ-
ing neat carrying case, or
$66.00 on terms. Come in now and start your payments on a
pleasing gift. We will deliver it after first payment or hold it
until Christmas.
Home of the Corona
HoustonTypewriterExchange
408 Fannin Street :: Phones Preston 980 or 457
XLVI.
That a good football player enters a
state of fury while. playing, in which
condition he can easily masticate
and scrap-iron.
XLVII. '
That persons who carry a lot of
books around the campus are
studious.
XLVIII.
That certain prof*, tell the same
jokes year after year.
XLIX.
That girls are squeamish.
L.
That y is a function of x.
LI.
That al! alumni look back to their
soioum at the university as the hap-
piest period of their lives.
LII.
That a certain professor of the In-
stitute will go to Hell.
LIII.
That couples who sit in parked cars
do naughty things.
<9
Headline—"Laborer Drowns in Al-
cohol Vat."
Next Day—"Crowd of Unemployed
Storms Chemical Plant."
Lovesick: Love, ah love, that is
the only thing that counts!
Roommate: Exams count a third!
"LarnFn' Aw A F?ne TMhg"
Decl&ray Negro Mammy
Who "WayAaf TMce Boyj"
By B. T. Wilbanks
How many of you folks know old
"Aunt Jenny" Petit? She says that
most of the football men know her,
but for the benefit and education of
the Slhnes and alumni, she is the
rather corpulent old "nigger" mammy
who posts her ancient one-horse shay
at West Hall gate on Mondays and
Thursdays to take care of the laun-
dry of some dormitory men. She
"washes de Rice boys" is her way of
expressing it.
She started "lookin' aftah de boys'
thingB 'way back thar w'en the Inst-
'toot wus fust stahted in 1912." In
those days she lived in the woods be-
hind Colonial Park which was "joy-
land" located where the Herman Park
zoo now stands. She lived there many
years, and raised a targe family; some
of which have grown up and some
"depahted foreber." She used to
have the assistance of her young
daughter, but now she brings her di-
minutive nephew along to read the
Harris6n FlowerShop
%
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Cable Address:
Member F.&D. "Harris Flo" Houston
! t!! M! m t W t n 11 H H U H t Hi H 11 H H t H Hi H ! mrr
CfFE SOMEONE
You love a different kind of Xmas present!
A thoroughly expert eye-examination, in
this courtesy-always Shop—and comfort-
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happy!
3? Company
and QpfiCMFM
918 Texas Avenue
' n n m m n n ! mmm um t n -rrrr
names on the bundles of clothing. She
herself cannot read.
Has Ambitious Nephew.
Aunt Jenny is now living out at
Pierce Junction, nearly 12 miles from
the Institute, still she makes the
rounds regularly. The boys say she
is always on time with the washing
and it is always good work.
Her nephew, Walter "Woodrow"
Wilson, has great ambitions. He
wants to be a second Booker T. Wash-
ington or Roscoe Conklin Simmons.
"Ah tells him he wont never be able
to set up in no fine office an' boss de
white mens, but Ah knows 'at he c'n
make a heap 0' money ef he gits uh
little mo' iddication", Aunt Jenny de-
clared.
la A Bice Booster.
On Aunt Jenny's Rrst trip to Rice
Institute, she backed her cart up to
the Administration Building, then the
only representation of Rice. She has
since watched the Owl kingdom grow
to its present size, and expressed sat-
isfaction that the new Chemistry
Building would be as great or greater
than the other buildings in the quad-
rangle.
"Larnin' am a fine thing an' its
shameful no mo' boys don' take no
mo' int'rust in goin' to school," she
said, "Ah, Ah wants yuh to tell all the
fellers 'at I'se alius a backer o' Rice
Institute."
—<R--
"Let's travel," said the elephant,
as he picked up his trunk.
! tl'H ! HUH! i H 11 tEEEE
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Heart o' Houston
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The Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 9, No. 11, Ed. 1 Thursday, November 29, 1923, newspaper, November 29, 1923; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth229968/m1/3/: accessed June 19, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.