The Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 9, No. 29, Ed. 1 Saturday, May 10, 1924 Page: 1 of 6
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VOLUME IX
RICE INSTITUTE, HOUSTON, TEXAS, MAY M, 1931
NUMBER 29
MO. Yaa havent
^ ' double-crossed, but you've been
spoofed again by that noble order of
First Year Students. You expected
something Mighty and irresponsible in
the Freshnwn issue of The Thresher,
but instead you received the product
of much deliberative thought and seri-
ous endeavor by that irrepressible
fiock of Slimes.
To put it more cieariy, you are get-
ting the dessert of your iiterary feast
in four courses. The first course, an
appetizer, proved to you conclusively,
that as editors of a college newspaper,
Seniors would make fine ditch diggers.
The second course was a half-baked
but ingenuous dish of journalistic
scraps that was novel but not espe-
cially tasty.
* * *
The third attempt showed consider-
able lack of anything worth mention-
ing, and was our idea of nothing at
all. Try as we may to shield our be-
loved Sophomore, the truth will out,
and the Sophomore Thresher was a
flop.
* * *
<A
And now you have no doubt caught
the savory and delicate odors of the
last course. Frankly; this last num-
ber is the best of the four, and it be-
hooves to us to say that in spite of
our characteristic disdain, and our re-
tiring nature, you will have perused
the noblest efforts of the fairest and
finest sons and daughters of Rice In-
stitute. Now you chase us a while.
H)T3 wanna play with li'i Johnny
'' Heisman some more. We like
Johnny and Johnny likes us. The foot-
ball team of the class of '27 looks
good to him, says John, and in order
to facilitate matters, the coach says
that &e will likely use the Fish team
intact, and run in the varsity letter
men as second string. What could be
peter?
Qay, fellow Fish-mates, we've gat a
^ job on our hands. Dp you realize
that as soon as we are tumd# Sopho-
mores (not a very delightful pros-
pect, all things considered) that we
will be confronted with the job of run-
ning this ole school? Yep, they're go-
ing to tum it over to us, and let us
educate the two classes ahead and the
one behind.
"Red" McCann says to me the other
day that if we hadn't come along when
we did, the Institute would have gone
to the bow-wows, because he and the
faculty had their hands full keeping
athletes on pro. So I says that I'm
pretty sure that we could be per
suaded to serve in the capacity of of-
ficial helpers around the campus, and
keep the recalcitrant Seniors, brain
less Juniors (oht that's all right,
they're this year's Sophs) and the un
tutored class of '38 from straying too
far from the beaten path
* * *
Gosh! It pays to live right, as our
friend Millie Glenngoogle would say.
T 'IL Sammie FitHh and li'ller Eddie
" Arrants create minature stam-
pedes among the rabble in the cloist-
ers when they sally forth on moist
days daintily attired in yellow slick-
ers of a rather unique transparency.
Not that the furore means anything
to be, but—oh well—here's hoping we
don't have many more rainy days.
Don't play so wuff, you big, ole
Kafwin Dutton. It's one thing to be
playful and to congenially slap your
li'l playmates aroun', but this matter
of dislocated collar bones and shoulder
blades is becoming serious.
* * *
C'mon, Barry York. Snap out of it
You can be such a nell of a sociable
guy when you're so inclined.
. . .- * * * *
Wonder how much longer it will be
before it occurs to Jack Glenn's keeper
to look in Rice Institute for ournwn
pride and joy, Millie Hayfield, Jr.
* * *
It is rumored that a number of re-
quests for a cloister course to be
known as "Snobistry" hanabeen made.
Gosh, we know and will gladly recom-
mend any number of capable profess-
ors of either sex, and can taM yda oH-
hand an equal number who have had
degrees of honor conferred.
The Rice "R" Book, an annual pub
licatton compiled and edited by Rice
students and authorized by the Fac-
ulty, has come off the press and is
ready for distribution both among the
student body and the large army of
high school students in Texas and
other states of the union.
This year's book, the product of
much concentrated and high class en-
deavor of Robert "Bob" Morris, is
truly a work of journalistic and en
graving art, and is easily up to the
general standard of such publications.
As a matter of fact, the book has
availed itself of the opportunity to
play up and present in attractive form
the vast capabilities of the new coach-
ing staff that has reeentiy come to
Rice Institute.
With Coach John W. Heisman at the
helm, the Institute has succeeded in
rallying a staff of foot-ball, basket-
ball, track and-baseball mentors that
would be a ^jfedlt to any college in the
Imited Statm, and toward the boom-
ing of this opportunity the R Book
has printed pictures and gives a good
deal of space.
In addition to this feature, Morris
and his helpers on the book have taken
full advantage of the beauties of the
campus to put into pictures and word
sketches the modern buildings, the
(Continued on Page 2.)
p
AMay f ite Rhyme
*******
By Baird, Slime
(Editor's Note—You can hold J. D.
Baird responsible for this. Neverthe-
iess, it is a nifty report of the May
Fight as she was fought).
Midnight drew nigh, the moon rose
high, the stars were shining
" '
While dark and fliting figures toiled,
preparing for the fight.
What fight? Oh, where's the fight?
From every comer comes the
cry.
Why don't you know of our May
Fight But ho! The day draws
nigh.
The sun in all its majesty, uprises in
the east,
And crosses o'er the worlds expanse,
a-hurrying not the least.
But Hinally the evening came, the
Rght would soon be on,
The sun paused now to learn just how
we mortals hold our own.
A gently wafted tune arose from out
the perfumed trees;
A crier approached, and knelt him
down upon his brawny knees,
While followed close, in high silk hose,
a page in bright attire;
And after him, the jester grim, a
relic of some fire.
For all his clotH6h were seared and
black, his face was wrinkled,
parched;
He bent quite low, his age did show,
his back was bent and arched
A jester he could never be, but laugh-
ed we just the same,
Yet what could he e'er mean to we; a
a junior has no fame.
Ha, ha, ho; but do you know the Duck
and Duckess there ?
From out the House of Senior they
approach, ungainly 'pair.
They can not be high royalty, just
watch that awkward strut.
I say, you Duck, now aren't you smart,
but you're an uncouth muttl
And others Ducks come wabbling in
besides their Duckess' slim
Or fat as ease might be, while over
there the movie film
Turned not, but waited for the Slimey
crew to cross the green;
For Duck and Duckess of the House
of Slime could now be seen.
What ho! Arise ye brutes. Bow low
to those that now draw near.
Respect them now or you will know
too soon a Slime to fear,
Again arise and fall again upon the
dusty path
Or else His Majesty, the king A Slime)
will cast his wrath
Upon your groveling head to cause
you wish that you were dead,
But he that proper homage shows to
Him has naught to dread.
The Queen now^jg^ps the merry din,
the fight ia almost o'er,
A shot rings out! Commotion rings!—
Local Law Makes
*******
Arrest of Wm.M.
******
Rice's Namesake
A speeding motorcycle caused all
the trouble. Early birds on the
campus were sundedly aroused to the
fact that there had been a near trag-
edy on the right-hand turn around the
A. B. Nobody knew who the injured
were, until he rose in his bloody glory
after the dust of skidding had sub-
sided. A careful investigaiton by load-
ing detectives revealed the fact that
the only damage sustained by the in-
jured man's clothes was a severe lac-
eration of the right trouser leg.
After the excitement had died down
to a state of monotony, two noble
representatives of the traffic police
force of the City of Houston, galloped
onto the scene, each hitting on all one
cylinder. The injured man was threat-
ened with the disgrace of arrest by
these nobie men, if he did not sign the
pecuiiar little slip that had been pre-
pared.
The injured man was displaying re-
(Continued on Page 2.)
THREE LECTURES DELIVERED
BY LEARNED VISITORS HERE
Officers Chosen
By Writing C!ub
At the regular meeting Monday aft-
ernoon, the Writing Club elected E.
Oren Arnold, of Henderson, president,
succeeding Sybilmarie Denniston.
Mary Elizabeth Bulbrook of Ft. Worth
was elected vice-president, and Mary
Lynn Stevenson of Houston, secre-
tary-treasurer. George Guion Will-
iams '23 was chosen critic, succeed-
ing Kenneth Rowe, '22, who has ac-
cepted the position of Instructor in
the University of Oregon at Eugene.
Dr. Stockton Axson was reelected lit-
erary adviser.
After the business meeting Alston
Clapp read "Tangled Traps," a real-
istic story of Canada; Mary Lynn
Stevenson read a fanciful story of the
Chinese underworld; Pinckney Flem-
ing read a humorous skit, "Liars'
Conventions."
tSV&ne Craw 7^ Hero
Jfw Near 7Tr#gre<%y; Ly
By Body
The dangers of Dr. Walker's His-
tory 100 class were gruesomety illus-
trated Thursday morning when a huge
light shade, insecurely attached, fell
and bounced off of Wilbert Crain's
head, inflicting a huge^ bloody wound
upon its innocent victim.
It is reported that at the first of
blood eleven co-eds, all slimesses,
fainted. They were carried tenderly
from the class by the solicitous males,
leaving the sorely wounded Crain to
shift for himself. The injured emitted
loud groans which cast a depressing
spell over the entire class.
A great scramble is said to have
ensued on the part of the remaining
light shades. In fact, there was such
a scarcity of desirable seats that some
scandal resulted from the occupancy
of the same seats by persons of the
opposite sex. -
Dr. Walker disciaimed al) responsi-
bility for the tragedy and refused to
be interviewed by investigators. In
an interview with Mr. Crain, however,
the injured man seemed very modest
and attempted to beiittle his exploit.
"It is nothing," he said to an admir-
ing group of co-eds while taking in ec-
statically the perfume from a tender
bouquet. "I only did my duty in catch-
ing the shade."
Thursday's near tragedy is said to
be the result of one of a number of
plots to exterminate certain Institute
profs. The fallen light shade was in-
tended for the inimitable Doctor
Walker's pate, and it was only thru
the miscalculation of perpetrators of
the death plot that the fiends were
foiled.
TRACK TEAM TO
FMURE !M LOOP
MEET !N
White this issue of The Thresher
goes to press, six of the best Owi
track men, those who have shown to
the greatest advantage on the track
this season, wiii be fighting for South-
western conference track and field
honors at Austin. The Owi sextet de-
parted for the conference meet Thurs-
day night, and were in competition
Friday and wili go into the finais to-
day.
Aithough the Rice track and fieid
squad, captained by Fred Stancliffe,
have had a none too successful season,
they look fairly strwg i" their well
rounded strength at the Texas Univer-
sity meet this week.
The meet wiil witness some fine
performances, undoubtedly, and it is
not unlikely that Owl men wiii be
listed among the ultimate winners.
Representatives from every school
that is a member of the conference
wiii compete in the meet.
This year, by entering the South-
western conference events, the Owls
have been forced to pass the T. I. A.
A. meet by, and by so doing have sac-
rificed their chances to annex the title
in that loop. The Owls have yet to
iose a championship in the Texas In-
tercollegiate Athletic Association in
any year in which they have entered
competition. The T. I. A. A. affair
is being staged at Abilene this week.
Owl men who have been set to the
conference meet include Sam Fitch,
100 and 220-yard dashes; Roy Webb,
440-yard dash and 880-yard run;
Travis Calvin, miter; Fred Stancliffe,
shot, discus and broad jump; Lonnie
Thomas, javelin; Howard Eiser, high
and iow hurdles.
COMMENTARY ON LIP ALFALFA
An advertising agency at College
Station has sent us a proposition
which shows a style of wild, rash lib-
erty which can not be conducive to
thrift and prosperity.
This concern made the proposition
to us the other day to run a quarter-
column ad. of preparation which would
make whiskers grow on a meerschaum
pipe. The ad. was to run in The
Thresher , for one year and copies of
the paper were to be sent to the agent.
Daring that time $!50 worth of lo-
cal notices were to be inserted also.
The whole thing, at oar rates, would
have figured up about $400 and the
princely sum of $80, less thirty-three
and a third per cent, the charges of
Of course we want to encourage the
healthy growth of new and attractive
styles of moustaches at Rice. We
want to see a moustache industry
spring up here on. our campus that
will rival the crops of older and less
civilised colleges; but we can not her-
ald the glad tiding of whisker balm
a!l over the territory that our all per-
vading influence permeates just for
the pure joy and innoncent pleasure
of seeing a picture in our paper day
after day of a man with a moustache
on him like a buffaio robe.
Whatever will forward the inter-
ests of our young university in any
wa# we hope to assist so long as we
can do so, and Utili obtain enough to
pay freight on sight drafts and lead
pencils. But we can not wear oat oar
Treating vastly different subjects, but a!ike in one respect, that
they both pleased large audiences of Rice Institute students and
local townsfolk, two speakers, both prominent in continental let-
ters, delivered a series of three lectures at Rice Institute during
the past week.
The first speaker of the week, Arthur Percival Newton, M. A.,
B. Lit., B. Sc., F. S. A., Rhodes Professor of Imperial History in
the University of London, delivered an address Monday night in
the Physics Amphitheatre on the "British Commonwealth of To-
day."
The second speaker, Louis Cazamian, Professor of English Lan-
guage and Literature at the Sorbonne, University of Paris, lectured
Wednesday and Thursday nights. The subject of the first lecture
was the "Possibilities of the Near Future in English Letters." The
second of the series of two by Professor Cazamian concerned
"Psycho-Analysis and Literary Criticism."
Both Professor Newton and Professor Cazamian are widely
known both on the continent and here in America, and the purport
of their respective talks, while delivered from varying points of
view and in different style, smacked of individual European style.
Dr. Arthur Percivai Newton, pro-
fessor of Imperial History at the Uni-
versity of London, lectured on "The
British Commonwealth of Today" last
Monday evening in the Physics Am-
phitheatre. Since the speech was de-
livered by the ieading authority on
the poiiticai statutes of the various
units of the British Empire, it was
especially instructive to an audience
interested in modern wortd history.
Dr. Newton divided the British
Commonweaith into four distinct
groups—the centra] istands; the self-
governing dominions which inciude
Canada, New Zeatand, South Africa
and Australia; the Empire of India,
and the dependent territories. The av-
erage American has a fairiy accurate
conception of the position of each of
these classifications except that of the
setf-governing dominions; few realize
the extent of the independence of the
group.
Dr. Newton stated that the oniy im-
peris! officer stationed in these coun-
tries was the governor-general, and if
any one of their peopies shouid de-
sire to withdraw from the Empire, not
a single effort would be made to pre-
vent such action. He explained, how-
ever, that the self-governing domin-
ions were bound to the Commonwealth
by the staunch loyalty to the English
sovereign and by their desire to share
in the privileges enjoyed by all Eng-
lishmen.
According to Dr. Newton, the rea-
son for the development of the British
Empire is that its government has
adapted itself to the conditions met
in each part. The system is exceed-
ingly flexible, varying from entire in-
dependence in Canada to autocratic
rule in some of the island possessions,
but in every instance it is the best pos-
sibie type that can be offered.
In his closing remarks, the speaker
paid a glowing tribute to the liberty-
ioving spirit of the two great English-
speaking nations of the world—Amer-
ica and England—and he predicted
that this common characteristic would
tend to develop the strong ties of
friendship which already exist be-
tween these two countries.
Co-Ed Tennis
Match Nears
Finais Stage
More than usual interest is being
displayed in the girl's tennis tourna-
ment now being staged at Rice Insti-
tute under the auspices of the Girl's
Tennis club. A silver trophy will be
presented to the girl winning in the
singles matches, and similar cups to
sach of the girls composing the suc-
cessful doubles team. The names of
the winnefs will be engraved in these
trophies, which will become permanent
property of the victors.
The singles tourney, with eighteen
entries, is progressing nicely and
should be terminated shortly. Of the
six freshmen entries, three, Misses
Courtney Booth, Mary Louise Fitch,
and Mary Powars, remain. Three of
the seven sophomore entries also re-
main. These are Misses Elizabeth
Harris, Mozelle Henderson, and Dor-
othy Ayres.
The junior champion, Miss Kath-
erine Wood, has already been deter-
mined with the elimination of two
other third year aspirants. One match
of the first round of senior and soph-
omore singles has not been played.
The tourney, which began last Mon-
day, is an interclass affair, and the
ultimate winner will bring honors to
her class. ——
Dean Caidweil
Speaks Sunday
Dean R. G. Caldwell will speak to
the Rice class of the Second Presby-
terian church this coming Sunday,
May 11.
This is an opportunity that has
been looked forward to for some time.
Every one will be welcome.
young life trying to inaugurate a
tropical growth of moustaches, just
for the satisfaction of being called a
philanthropist, with our toes sticking
out through our shoes.
We want to see the Liver-pad, the
Vinegar Bitters and Moustache Pro-
moter industry on our campus reach
a degree of prosperity that will be the
envy and admiration of older colleges.
But we also desire to obtain a hand-
some competence and to acquire that
amount of arrogance and influence
which wealth and position yield. We
hope we wili be forgiven for this self-
ish and momentary spirit, but it has
obtained the mastery over us, and we
the willing slave of a wild and uncon-
trollable desire to revel in one shirt
while the other is in the wash.
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The Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 9, No. 29, Ed. 1 Saturday, May 10, 1924, newspaper, May 10, 1924; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth229986/m1/1/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.