The Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 11, No. 25, Ed. 1 Saturday, April 10, 1926 Page: 2 of 8
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Member Texas Intercollegiate Preaa Aaaoelation
▲ weekly newspaper publlabed by the atudenta at Rice Institute at
Entered aa second elaa
0 matter October IT, IMC, at the nostoffiee In Houston, Texas,
under the Act of March 1, lift
Subscription Rates
12.50 per Tear, 10c per Copy
Mir
Thomas P. Jackson..
Jack Brldrwater ...
Bam Bennett
Assistant*
Advertising
TRAVIS H. CALVIN
MOSE SCHWARTZ .
Martha Francis Hill
Joe Heyck
Donald Flint
Jack Griffin
Hendrlx Davis
CONTRIBUTORS TO THIS ISSUE:
Bert Hitson.
SENIOR THRESHER STAFF.
Editor-in-Chief
Business Manager
Associate Editor
Ass't Business 1~
Managing
T. B. Stubbs, Margaret Lester, Jack Glenn,
lager
dltor
..Editor-in-Chief
.. Business Manager
"lit'
JUNIOR THRESHER STAFF.
PATRICK AUSPACIOUS O'LEVY
SAM SOUPBOLE BENNETT
P. Auspacious O'Levy Associate Editor
Patrick A. O'Levy Assistant Associate Editor
P. A. O'Levy Managing Editor
P. O'Levy Assistant Managing Editor
A. O'Levy ja Sports Editor
Patrick O'Levy Assistant Business Editor
Auspaoious O'Levy Advertising
CONTRIBUTORS TO THIS ISSUE: Theobald Blinkus, Patrick Auspacious O'Levy
H. L. Mencken, Chester Conklln, Oscar Sldebottom, and Ma Ferguson.
FOR RICE'S
HUMOR
How many people of Rice take pride in carrying home their
little OWL, throwing it down on the table and saying, "Mother,
here is the OWL"?
On the other hand, how many go home and say rather shyly to
their brothers, "Say, kid, go get the new OWL when nobody's
watching you"?
How many bundle up copies and send to their girls with this
note, "Read this; it is a product of our school; you certainly will
be proud of us"?
These things may be exaggerated, but the effect is obtained.
We do not show the OWL with pride to people that we respect very
much.
When we do offer it to someone, we feel more like the little
schoolboy that has just spilt ink on some little girl's dress. We
feel like we have done something daring; we might be condemned
or we might be admired for being so risque.
There is plenty of wit in Rice without having to call forth always
a double-meaning joke. A school the size of Rice and one that
claims such intellectual undergraduates that has to rely on sug-
gestiveness in its humor in order to get a kick out of somebody
is like a god that does not appeal to the imagination: it is not
worth its salt.
Nobody blames the editors; they merely give the public what
it wants; they are merely sucked in on the deal. Try a little ad-
verse criticism1 and see what it "does!
The cry is always raised that other schools do it and get away
with it. Perhaps they do, but Rice is not! Ads have already been
lost to both the OWL and the Campanile, and Rice must needs
think about this!
R
DOC'S BULL CORNER ...
The other day I strolted casually into the Sally-
port for a bit of social intercourse. The time was
ripe and the day fair. I walked out of the down-
stairs library just in time to meet Dr. Lovett as
he stepped from a delivery truck on which he
had caught a ride to school. He said to me:
"Good morrow, Doctor, have you received
your weekly stipend?"
And I replied courtingly, "Yes, your Honor,
Johnnie has just paid me."
That ended our little tete-a-tete, and I leisure-
ly joined several of the idle rich who were group-
ed about the corner stone and who offered me
a stick of Orbit chewing gum.
The talk was of golf, and I found several opportunities to dis
play my knowledge of the game. My worthy remarks received no
recognition from these intellectual wonders, and I therefore re-
solved to withhold my information.
No one spoke to me, but that made no difference. I was as
rightfully parked by the cornerstone as the boy whose papa was
district agent for the Highway Commission.
Others passed, but they received no greeting from the Demo-
cratic Dozen that favored the Institute with its most august pres-
ence. Some little girl with a big mouth and a short skirt joined
the group and spoke to Jim, to Hack, to Heine, and even to Cop,
but not to me, thank the Lord! ' r m
The little girl was handled by the big he-man who petted her
anc| teased her about forgetting to pick her teeth after she ate
prunes. This pleased her immensely, and the witty conversation
bored me to a tumultous breakdown of the lachrimal glands.
But that is the Aristocracy. No, Mother, we have no place
amid such God-chosen people.
Christian Text Books For Us
Christian People
El Campo, Texas, April 10, 1926.—
Around a table sat a group of men
gathered (or a most Important work.
While motion picture cameras click-
ed, they sat, talking, discussing, in
earnest, serious tones, while the words
they uttered went out over the coun-
try by radio to a hundred thousand
listeners. On the table were the text-
books to be used in hundreds of
schools throughout the state.
"My friends," began one who rose
at his place with a blue boo*k in .hiB
hand and g. grave look on his face—
"This text I have reads on page sixty-
two: 'The modern theory of Evolu-
tion holds that differences arising in
a species
Sadly the great men shook their
tired heads and turned down their
thumbs- the speaker bowed his head
and continued:
"This" Is a Christian land. The
Bible does not teach Hp Man de-
scended from lower animals. Ws> the
Committee, are resolved to defend this
great and glorious country from the
prisonous and lnfitjel attacks of the
modern materialists. We hold strict-
ly to the teachings of both the old
and the new Testaments." He spoke
this into the transmitter while the
others of the Committee clapped
hands, and the breathless multitude
thronging around the building outside
roared with lusty cheers; many , a
heart beat with devout happiness.
Another speaker arose. Silence,
while he held aloft two beautiful vol-
umes of American history for the
seventh and eighth grades. Fresh
from the press, it glistened with pages
of neatest type, and bora the endorse-
ment of scores pf patriotic societies.
"Let me present to yon, my Chris-
tian felftwmen of the Committee, Jt|ie
greatest history of Americf ever writ-
ten. Full space is r|ghtly alloted to
the Revolution of 111% whiclr hither-
to has been slurred over. At last are
Deepite all the <
gofernmeat of the United Stetae
•ems impossible to impreee *M f
minds of horticulturist* the need
conservation of our forest
About II iminlha asm aame
was used |n Hermann park.
Houston, Texas. Fully a dosen trees
ruthlessly destroyed In order to
room for a paltry million dollar
hospital. Of ooigSis. "
use such institutions as
do not we aim need trees?
that were destroyed were,
to reports reaching The T!
tore and stalwart pines.
managing board of the Hermann Hos-
pital did not realise that at least 111
years will be required for young trees
to grow large enough to make up for
this loss.
Now the Rice Institute is undertake
in« the same thoughtless procedure.
No sooner had the elm trees, located
at points of vantage on the campus,
begun to make themselves useftil be-,
foro the authorities put men to work
grubbing up these same sappllags.
They excuse themselves by saying that
more sturdy and longer lived trees are
being set out to replace the ones
which they are destroying. But at
best this is a poor excuse. There is no
gain in this, and something should be
done about it.
Then, too, Rice Institute intends to
transplant, some 2000 young
bushes this spring. This is
certain to result In the death of
of the bushes, and transplanting is a
dangerous botanical process. Could
not the roses thrive in their first
home? If so, there is no excuse for
their removal. This is a wastef our
national flora.
Without plants, puch as trees, paper
could not be manufactured and such
papers as The Thresher could not be
published.
Something Bhould be done to curb
thees short-sighted individuals.
R —
BAYOU!
BAYOU!
Just what is to be done with our
little bayou? Seventy-Bix Indians lost
their lives on the banki* of that
stream.
Three Mexican sunder' Santa Anna
were drowned in its murky waters.
Seven Rice pests have been dipped
under its surface to wash them of
their baneful characteristics.
Such a place should be commen}-
orated! Why not coqsecrate a dap
to the memory of so famous a rivaled
aftd hold services on its bankst 1
Why not, on that day, pay feraiaaf
to the waters of the bayou by thrown
in? into them the new offender*
Rice traditions, or the new offends;
of perjWWl pri4e? ' r,,
Qver a year ago. the bayou
dredged, the banks made crudely reg-
ular, the rustic finery of the natural
contour of the Burrounding landscape
was destroyed, and the result was a
more efficient hut far less beautiful
body of water.
From the campus side of the bayou
to the athletic side, a unique little
bridge leads. This bridge has held
many a seething mob; it has restrain-
ed many a ticketless athletic fan; it,
in itself, is famous.
Each year, on the first day of May,
the women of Rice collect their men
pets and their friends on the banks of
this'same creek and bold there their
great Festival of the May. This is
not enough for the dear old bayou.
Cornell has a song, "Far Above
Cayugas Waters;" Rutgers sing, "On
the Banks of the Old Raritan;" all of
these schools are proud of the stream
from which they flow.
Will Rice take a back seat or will
she claim and honor her famous
bayou?
I
the heroes of this nation of ours sung
in a manner befitting their imperish-
able glory. With immortal letters
shine the names of Washington and
Jeffersoq under the banner of OLD
GLORY because of* their hallowed—"
his voice broke with a'spb as they bow-
ed heads and thanked the Heavenly
Father and tlte multitude went wild,
Outside, a host of Boy Scouts pa-
raded through tjie packed streets bear-
ing patriotic banners. Across the
street a great poster bearing the le-
gend, "Americans in the making" was
being pasted up, showing seven sol-
diers standing at attention under the
flag at a Citizens' Military Training
Camp.
"—and again be it resolved, that
no poisonous infidel teachings con-
trary to those of Christianity shall go
into our schools," ended the speaker,
and the Committee adjourned amid,
triumph.'
illl
£
Rips is to bay* a gojf team. Think
the gVMt bulldlag project* 0« th* In-
stitute will bo overshadowed by the
demand for a mt •trsteh at greenery
Wt re these athletes mar ch* ? ths
little Scotch snowball.
•. e
We see In the papers that four per
cent beer will not be sold lit
there Is*a mistake somewhfr4
there is no use cutting us out alto-
together ; it would be so hard to have
to do without it.
•a e
The candidates for president of the
Students' Aaaoelation must be an-
nounced by the fifth Monday before
the last Saturday in the fourth month
of the year of our Lord, nineteen hun-
dred and twpnty-slx. We wonder just
what platforms each will take. The
wets have it! *
t • •
A new fad for memoirs aeems to
have hit our city; it all aspiring writ-
ers are turned loose, we wonder just
what sort of memoirs will be Inscribed
after some famous Rice functions.
* -t e,
London girts the other day appeared
on the streets with sign dangllng from
them bearing the inscription, "Look at
my Stockings." Ladies of Rice have
burst forth in new Easter stockings,
but signs of Inducement were not nec-
essary.
SO e
' A Harvard senior ate forty-eight
eggs in forty-one minutes- Attention.
Rice! Such examples as this and our
own Mike prove that the American
university has reached a h|gh water
mark.
^ • • •
Our pwn Marjorie Mix says that
people should not tamper with newly
weds for at least a year. Vaybe they
can refrain from tampering with them
for their whole college career, and that
would be a great Improvement
i be govern
Straw hats are again in vogue. We
notice that people whose papas sell
pants and such ilk are the first to
blossom out In this article of the smart
man's spring attire.
• e e
' We maintain that we can guess a*
Well as anyone else can. to *X*M^
sevwnty-fnree thousand, nine hundred '
and twenty-seven years, men will iHti
be men, but women will all h
ors.
• 9 *
Several newspapers have said that
Rice will be supplied with, bus serv-
ice. O ye traction company, ye know
not whereof ye speak. Try to combat
boulevard service?
• • •
Some rings of the telephone are
sweet; pthers are not. That last one
brought*me an invite to attend a
chicken dinner. Olory, hallelujah!
Rett} old Southern chicken, rice, pota-
toes, biscuits, Ice cream, but I pray to
Heaven that TURNIPS will hot be
served.
R
MOUSE SHOWS STRENGTH.
The new* that a Persian cat in New
Y©tk has been unmerc|ful|y slain by
fin American rat may bring about
international complications.
Jqstfcfs pf the Peace Brown held
an inquest over the body of the cat
and gave death due to violent at-
tarif. The cst's bead was severed
from Ms body, and his tail was chew
ed into a pulp.
This is possibly one of the results
of the evolutionary nature of animals.
Five -year* ago, who would have
though that a mere rat could humble
the grandest member of the cat fam
8*
itions wen immediately un-
,r-- by the American Minister pf
Foreign Affairs and H is hoped that
"Hi results might be averted.
When the rat was examined by
stats authorities, he was found to be
kftfsst to the hydrophobia germ. He
issmediately executed.
Twenty-three years ago. in 1908, a
—^ h on recoird. in Liver-
a Mask bass was
to have taken, into camp
BMtf-oathig shark. The shark <«r
ossnpletely anihilated, and only the in-
sise of the bass could be
as a clue to tin murder.
urday rolls
used to
It seems to
toe many
s?
Orchestra is _
prestige and not only
itly. Here
aying vastly. Here they are,
What i« it that you want ?
If yon want it made'mors ax
and go there
at.thrr
are there.
* M at
sqmei
next
it, but ft
agate* They
': now "
fault is it!
if you ^ran$ *n«4fs pwre exelusiyeby limiting the number at
bids; if you wantrae butter swept off of the walls; if you want the
floor waxed; or whatever you want, speak up!
This is your school, and you can try to do what you want
with it.
is
Woodhead has returned to
the campus after a brief Visit With her
rsiattos |f> mm-
Ths Woman's Counell Is considering
the advisability of hiring Tony Plg-
latsy to plant fems at M e north sad
pf the A. Cloister.
Firs destroyed the CO-OP Building
op Third Avsnps snd tfcs establish-
ment has opened for business on the
third floor of tije A. B. nder tbs man-
agement of Jesse (himself) James.
Jujl# Jtyicepan was sleeted Queen of
the May Carnival at an election held
In the Sallyport yesterday. The Queen
Will notify the politic^ powers whom
she Chooses for her retinue and the
other elections will then proofed In
the customary fashion.
Tbe 8 N Late tytilway is consider-
ing laying a sppr to the Stable just
north of the Physics Buildipg so that
fed may bp carried tp the animals be-
fogging to the pfflcprs of 4he adminis-
tration without being sutyepfe l to de-
lay by the bogging (St ths delivery
■ ut
, Al| eyes Were t&powo open yester-
day when Qn# Jones irilSSSSil
i .
expspt to emAlfi t)is transportation
methods 0l tks worthy profeesor.
Doctor Jack mas seen Wednesday
in the first straw hat of the season.
The hedges bays of late been receiv-
ing undue ptt?nt|e frpm the hogs of
neighboring truck farmers. It Is
hoped that fftPt Ingenious plan can
be arrived' at that -Wflt render the
hedges immune to tfcs invading baoon.
The Baseball Nine began the sea-
son Tuesday With a victory over the
visiting athletes from Btretchit. The
score was 7 to l. The Owls played
a steady game that was featured by
the pitching of Murphey and the hit-
ting of Cohen. The nest game is with
'Little York, and It will be played on
Rice Field.
The Athletic Association is debating
over the.feasibility of a plan suggest-
ed by Si Smith—that of ^putting a
fence arotthd the field Where the
games are held. It is said that neigh'
boring chickens and such come ttierd
to eat every time there Is a game.
A petition has beep handed over to
the Dean to have some Improvement
made in the Mess Hall food. Students
find much to complain abopt in that
quarter, they say. It IS Stated that
some action will be taken that di-
rection soon.
Fifteen men reports*! to Cpseh Noclt
last Monday for early fpotball t|*ip-;
ing. llie nMK WfjfS put to work build-
ing a bench along the side of the flsfal
to take< care of next ysar*s crowds.
Npse guards have been issued, and
due to the shortage of tsnnis shoes,
no other equipment has been recslved.
The Fi^shmen Biology class r
ceived a surprise ifcursday when Dr.
gave what he called a five
This method e<
sing, which, at pnsent, .is not knowa
on the fs^r'filirbe^anite pop-
1 m ii'?
Miia iinii 0HMA mcmm aim
WHY ATHLETES BUST OUT
that tljsy
pas
athletes bust out and that
« lasyl
"Aft ihrentory of aU atblstss has
been taken i Rice Institute, ops of
tfte foremost pf American universities
and one gpted for its Wholesale t
®f athletes, and the result has )
the conclusion that #M0etss ars j"
tpo lasy to stpdy or t^py have
t|me to toksVw
tp put on their bpoks.
M«ny atwetss enter a place like
R|ce, and tbsy maks the sudden and
disastrous discovery that there re
Social duties are extremely sxaet-
Ing, and they require constant atten-
tion. The old'gag is Quit when an
athlete comes in from prao^ce thft jtfe
is tired out and is unable therefore
to concentrated Who keeps him fnop
rising early to ppraue his studies?
Who tires bim out after the seissbh |s
overt' '
'Athletes have answers to sll of
these questions m> that We must either
accept their statement that they arp
too dusab to learn at we must draw
our own conclusions that they are too
lasy to learn. : .
institute where football is
nees wt- 'least four out oi
'teUfeiW ift^
dsn the privilege of
athletics because of scholastic"
fielency. ' -
"It* seems that thev athletes receive
so much glory on ths gridiron, pn the
basket hail courts, on the tracfc on
the tennis court, on the diamond, Or
on the links that they would be wil-
ing to apply themselves tft some man-
ner of search for knowledge."
bet us psar again t
fashion news
he wHI Isstuss #n Brolu-
. ... famous msn. of. dipp.
b rs spi#Ba Mr asms as tin
man Who claims tp have found necpst-
W >
SENSIBLE
You cannot cut: -
Your own hair.
off ft new suit
Your best frfendattd
lish notes.
a knife.
to borrow his Enjp-
-
CortiM
at a dnwe withfljnt being accused pf beinf
Thresher stories
—Class twice a week and
the course.
wir.,
■ $<&>?:■
,■ There la some taflr of returning to
tbs Middle English male attire for
11 spcial functions. Last Easts*, sev-
ers! of these costumes were s«fcn amb-
ling down Fifth Avenue, and the
vogue for them is expected to take a
sudden rise. .
Men with stout calves have grasped
tpe Idea readily and are seeking an
opportunity to display their manly
virtues. * . : , -
Swarthy oomplexions are made ps
fplr MP Norseman's by tills new coi-
Mfs for sport scarfs. Pearl green and
WNea amber seem to be the most
PSmlar shades, and dealers of the
HPSt Sttuisite line* report that many
MPtriPg social powers have selSeted
Bnssim red for their chief color for
Msp's caps are being shown Irf tmi;
igp, thrown and greet "
ssm to hav* the
mals dscorative
' 1
W?, !|
■ x ^ -rUH;
AUTRY House CALENDAR.
Friday, April $— . j ti
■ -■ Houston Recreational Leaders'
Institute liSS p.m.
Dramatic Club, 1:45 p.m.
Boy Seonts, 7:0S p.m.
Dnmatle Olufe, :0« p.m.
'Sunday, April
Bible Class, l:se a.m.
Ohg«¥h asrricea, 10: OS a.m.
Mppday, April IS—
Writlpg dub, i:M p.m.
■. ,.fc. l. a, ta.-w p.m.
QlSf GMh 7:|9 pju.
Dnwpatfc Club, 1:«# pm.
Dramatic Club, 6:60 p.m.
: Tuesday, April
mmmi
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The Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 11, No. 25, Ed. 1 Saturday, April 10, 1926, newspaper, April 10, 1926; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth230045/m1/2/: accessed June 22, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.