The Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 20, No. 28, Ed. 1 Friday, April 26, 1935 Page: 3 of 4
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FRIDAY, APRIL 86, 1938
THE RICE THRESHER
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By SCOBEE
To a waiting world, wo flash the
news with pardonable pride . , , the
Dance of the year is finally here, or
at least, only twenty-four hours
away! Look back over this school
year, and see what stands out. Di-
vide the happenings into acts as in
a play, and you find yourself in Act
IV, Scene 3, where, according to
Shakespeare, it is time for the climax!
And climax it is, with the highest
spot of the year coming tomorrow
nite . . . that long-awaited E, B. L. S.-
PRE-MED DANCE. Need we repeat
that it is at RIVER OAKS COUNTRY
CLUB, and the initial going is at 10:00
P, M. Also for the benefit of the
Houston Cleaning Association we an-
nounce that it's still to be a LINEN
FORMAL. Come out and "get hot
while keeping cool," to quote one
"Brain Trust." McClanahan!
The orchestra—JIMMY SCOTT AND
HIS COLLEGIANS!
Hie entertainer—BUSTER DEES of
HENRY BUSSE FAME!
The place—RIVER OAKS COUN-
TRY CLUB!
The time—TEN O'CLOCK IN YE
EVENING!
The girl—OF YOUR DREAMS!
The atmosphere—Say the E. Bs' —
"AESTHETIC!"
Say the Prc-Meds . . . "ANAES-
THETIC!"
And both ore right, since it will ap-
peal to the highest in you and also
drug away the troubles and cares of
the world!
We announced that through the
medium of this column, we would
purvey to all and sundry the knowl-
edge of HOW TO ACT ON THE WAY
HOME FROM THE DANCE, or
TECHNIQUE MADE SIMPLE! Pro-
vided the nnti-soniething-or-others
don't &ret us, we shall do it now.
Many requests have come in for this
information, but due to its bombastic
nature (Kyd Lyly speaking) we have
reserved it until the last, as a grand
finale, or Opus Magnus!
First, in order to make clear the
.symptoms in your mind, may we give
a simple but technical diagnosis of
LOVE! Love ... a chronc affection
of the myocardium, with possible py-
loric spasm, anorexia, hypertension,
and in many cases, paralysis of the
V'llth cranial nerve (the facial) with
a reciprocal stimulation of the Xllth
hypoglossal. The lingual muscles are
either tremendously stimulated, or
completely paralyzed. And that, my
friends, is love! Provided you are
timid, ur lack initiative, and are on
the wr.v home from the dance with
the girl of your dreams, following
the following advice wilb. probably get
you somewhere, if It be put where
you s-tarted.
You are riding home as slowly as
the dam car will go without choking
up. and you are taking the long way
home. You remark with a pathetic
attempt at originality that it's a beau-
tiful night. She only nods. Can she
be sleepy? Tired? Surely not! You
decide to try your plot. When you
put her into the car, you failed to
close the door completely, and it is
by this time rattling to its hearts con-
tent. You pretend to Ijecome aggra-
vated. and finally in the manrier of
.. one who has passed all endurance,
you reach over ... but be sure it's
AROUND the girl, to close the door
firmly. Here indeed is opportunity
knocking at your door! After shut-
ting the door, you may mumble some-
thing about the blankety>-blank lock
being broken, and that you guess to
keep it from rattling, you'll have to
hold it shut until you get home. If
she does not. react to this, she is in-
deed a clod . . . either that, or asleep!
When she finally calms down and be-
comes acclimated (hmmmmm!) to the
situation, you may now peer closely
at the door. Obviously enough, she
is between you and the door, and the
resulting glances are at her, but you
con still claim truthfully the door as
ah alibi! You may even mention the
fact that you can't see the dodr very
well in the darkness, and that you feel
that you ought to keep a close watch
on it. The results here too are obvi-
ous ... so much so that we hesitate
to mention them.
Totiche! You are now at her shell-
like ear (that explains the sand in it)
and may now mutter something soft
and expressive into her ear such as
"Gaaaaaahhhhh!" At this juncture, it
is Important that you not bo taken
for a goat, so refrain from nibbling
at her collar, etc! If murmured in
the correct tone, with correct inflec-
tions, the afore-mentioned "Gaaahhhl"
will melt of stone and ... the world
is yours! If not ... you might try
variations such as "Gooooohhhhl," or
"Geeeeeehhhhhh!" All are highly ef-
fective, and choice is the only factor
involved.
Do you get it? You have an arm
about her, your mouth close to her
ear to mutter stuff, and the door held
firmly shut with your right hand so
that she can't jump out! Pah! What
more could you ask? (Quiet, please!)
Since Time and the Editor are both
able to cut things down, we will stop
here, and leave the rest, if there be
any, up to you, dear palpitating read-
er, We suggest that you commit this
to memory and then burn it. Till
tomorrow night then, Comrades in
Crime . . . Au Revoir! (we trust!)
The E. B. L. S.-Pre-Med linen for-
mal dance will be held at ten o'clock
Saturday night at River Oaks Coun-
try Club. The music will be supplied
by Jimmy Scott and his orchestra,
featuring Buster Dees.
• * «'
Miss Doris Morgan is entertaining
Saturday with a tea dance honoring
two Rice seniors, Misses Dorothy and
Doris McGill.
• * *
Mrs, C. 0. Lamberth and Mrs. Roy
C. Sewell, Jr., entertained at home
Thursday with a small luncheon com-
plimenting Miss Elisabeth Neathery.
♦ * *
Miss Alice Lynn Boyd entertained
at home Tuesday with a luncheon
shower complimenting Mrs. Clarence
Buchwald, the former Mary Heyne, a
graduate of Rice.
* * *
An item of interest is the marriage
of the former Miss Keel Jordan,
daughter of Dr, and Mrs, S. N. Jor-
dan, to Mr. Richard (Dick) Adams of
Denison, the couple being recent
graduates of the Institute. The cere-
mony was officiated Sunday afternoon
at St. Paul's Methodist Church by
Rev. Charles F. Smith. Miss Margaret
Sue, bridesmaid, S. N. Jordan, best
man, and Paul Rogers, groomsman,
made up the wedding party, with Miss
Betty Bai'den at the organ. The couple
will make their home in Lake Charles,
La. 1
\ ' V Yii;'';' v 4 ' ' ;
The E. B. L. S- Alumni Association
entertained Thursday from four-thirty
to five-thirty at the home of Miss Ida
Dell Lacy, to honor the seniors of the
active society at Rice. The honorees
consisted of Misses Elizabeth Neathery,
Kate Ross Patton, Audrey Moody,
Kathleen Wilson, Agnes Cox, Susie
Buford, .and Mrs, William Hudspeth.
Misses Marjorie Dunn, Awilda Steves,
and Mrs. Louis Hertenberger were
joint hostesses.
"We're No Daisy, We Tell"
Imagine UNCLE SAMMY being an
engineer, but here I am coming out
of our hole in the M. L. I shall at-
tempt to shed some light upon the
doings of some of our more notable
engineers and their activities during
their off hours.
Our ADONIS, DUKE EARL of the
house of WEAVER has at last fallen.
The lucky girl is none other than
MARGERY COX of Texas University
fame.
The engineer's seem to fall off in
one particular. It seems as if it takes
both GEORGE ALLEN and DICK
EISER to keep OLIVE HORNE occu-
pied.
Have you noticed B. W. (BULL
BAT) BURNS recent adoption of slick-
ed hair. We suspect that the reason
is a St. Louis woman named GOLD-
SMIDT. It seems that she owns a
brewery.
I wonder if it is JOHN (WIZARD)
MILLINGTON or DICK (GOLDFISH)
MEEKER that EUGENIA WILLIAM-
SON is Interested in. Probably it is
still the same old JOHN ANDREWS.
I wonder what BUD WILLIAMS'
Ft. Worth girl would think about him
and the WIDOW last Tuesday night.
The engineers certainly wish that
some of their profs, had daughters
like the Architect's ROSEMARY
WATKIN. Maybe some of us would
have a chance tin pass a few courses.
It seems a pity that JACK VAN
GUNDY'S romance with JO FOWLER
is on the rocks. However, BILL FER-
GUSON and CHARLOTTE BARKLEY
still seem to be doing all the good.
She even buys his hats now.
The Chem. engineer's hermit CRA-
TON (GUTHRIE) PITNER , seems ; to
young ladies would realize that you
were elected because you were on the
right side and not especially because
you happened to be you. And there
is just a chance that some of the se-
lected beauties aren't beautiful.
GRACIE ALLEN DAVIS the ham-
burger girl used to be a swell kid.
SCOTTY was seen again without
SUMNERS; just what does this mean?
By the way SCOTTY, were you stood
up not so long ago?
We will be seeing you at DEAN
WEISER'S TACKEY PARTY. Public-
ity will NOT be by DICK (RASPUT-
INSKY) SCOBEE the renegade engi-
neer.
This issue of The THRESHER is
being done by all kinds of people and
if your name here in this column
makes you angry because the crack
doesn't apply, then forget it. If it
does apply—that's what you get.
Who is the man designs our pumps
with judgment, skill and care?
Who is the man that build 'em and
who keeps them in repair?
Who has to shut them down because
the valve seats disappear?
The bearing-wearing, gearing-tearing
mechanical engineer.
Who buys his juice for half a cent and
wants t" charge ;i dime?
Who when we've signed the contract
can't deliver half the time?
Who thinks a loss of twenty-six per
cent is nothing riueer?
:fpf volt-inducing, load-reducing elec-
trical engineer,
s:
How To Start
Who is the man who'll draw a plan for
everything you desi 1
rr> ^ „ J7 „ - • ^ From a trans-Atlantic liner to a haiv-
r 005 tLngtnes mmade0f wire?
! With "ifs" and "ands," "how'ers" and
who makes his
meaning
feevrestriiining
that
(With apologies to the Author of
"How to start an aeroplane engine")
Start the jacket water; fill the oilers;
prime the cylinders; and heave the fly-
wheel over.
Inspect the igniter; change the mix-
ing valve sotting; draw a deep breath;
and heave the flywheel over.
Make a few oral comments; wipe off
the sweat; take a new and fancy grip;
on the spokes; and heave the flywheel
over.
Yell for George; «<, ; hun George; re- t
turn without discovering George; and (Who II fire a reat.good-looking
heave the flywheel over. because she , can not spell;'
Ctjll (politely) for the instructor; gj) f Who substitute^, a djetriphrtn
hunt the instructor; return unsuccess-:j
ful; and heave the flywheel over.
Take the recorder's cnair from him;
take his precious data board from him;
and joyfully watch him heave the fly^
wheel over. ijj 1 :
Pdur a little oil into the foreman's
hip pocket; take toil 'he cylinder head;
recite completely t'ioI engine's getieolv
logy; and heave the flywheel over
" louts''
||fc [Clyar?
j The word-disdaining.
j consulting engineer.
[ Who builds a road for "fifty-year
j disappears in two? ,
, Then changes his identity. MbM UWS
left lo sue" I
Who covers all the traveled! roads with I
filthy oily smear? !
The bump-providirig. «ugto-6n-ndiug j
highway engineer. ! j
Who. takes the pleasure out of life |
and make- the, existence hell? jj,l|
one'!
ciSiifitonted
The penny-ehasiug, ;do.Ihit>wasting1 'ef-
ficiency enginer.
-■Exchange,.
V . ' ; j|| T.fejpfe . ; ■ '
Jud Tunkins says egotism is what
makes a flea mistake himself lV>v the
entire clou.
The state of
Nfcw York
F'.,1
xo ore
in the
be coming out of his cave after MARY ' Leave the lab wuh ostentatious dls- colleges than any other st.it
FRANCES CAMPSEY. However. AL- !yust; return on tij toe thru the for«e; Union.
to be running shop; pounce on fl-e engine suddenly;-! * rPp„irc(1 and *>M. Point,
(Tins exchanged. Desk '•els repaired. Foun-
it i into, (nin Pert Hospital, (101 Kress Bldg.
' '"illTTO ' ■ "■■■ I
Evolution Of
An Engineer
LEN STEELE seems
him a close race.
All the. girls wish .that B D.
(DREAM BOY) , GOODRICH would
leave, that ifttfP San Jacinto girl
ROBERTA JOHNSON alone. Watch
him Sat. night.
PEGGY WARREN certainly is a
sweet girl, but EARL (WILD HONEY)
BARNES is titling all the good in that
direct ion.
Sdirne of Kl'he engineer's nick names
are rather descriptive: TQAR Mc- <■
KEAN. ZERO HANDER, B, I STOCK- 1 George Washington U is otl'erihg a
TON, NIL WORDEN, SOT GREER, 1 course in recent Russian history .with
JANITORS KING, EISER, ALLEN, j emphasis on the Soviet Union,
HERDON. NOLLEY. McREYNOLDS,
and PERKINS.
and heave the flywheel :over.
procedure sometin , - surprises
;I:-'ii1',.' is i l"'"''',':.. V; lofl?
i III ease all1 other method-; fail, open
J m gas pipe": vajvt,. ;cl()se the ignition
switch: and espeti ilv. Jieovi> the flv-
wheel over.
: There are approximately 1.500,000
■ living college grad aite.-. in the United
! States.
TT-rrj,—iL
Fountain Pen Hospital repairs all
, , _ , i makes of Pens and Pencils. 601 Kress
The dance: last Saturday night, re- uidg. F. 79I«.
By DOUG UPP
(At Eight Years of Age)
I want to be a motormati.
And give the kids a treat:
I'd stomp my bell and make em yell—
A clanging down the street.
(At Ten Years of Age),
I'd rather be an engineer
With engine puffing grand,
And down a string o' cars I'd watch
The brakeman's wavin's hand.
I'd shoot her round a bulgin' curve,
And scatter mountain deer—
Oh, more than anything. I want
To be im engineer.
(At Eighteen years)
(To S. G. McCann)
"Oh mister, please, an engineer
I want to be in mien"
"Then cut out girls and learn to say
1 done, has did. I seen."
(Junior) ,
I never knowed you needed Math
And tension, crush and shear,
And all them things no fool can learn
(Less he's a engineer.
(June, Graduated)
Hooray, hooray, I got it now,
(And did it cost me dear!)
This wrlttn' shows the cock-eyed
world
That I'm a engineer.
(July—Back Home to Mama
with^f S.)
(Mama consoling)
"My son, don't sob, my darling son,
There's some mistake I fear:
You say the Santa Fe insists
You're not that kind of engineer".'"
The Psalm of
The Engineer
Pens and Pencils, ill makes repair-
ed. We sell lends, ink and ensers for
By GUS HENSCHEN
Consider the engineer, he tarries
not, neither doth he loaf. To the call
of the flesh he turns a deaf ear; a
smooth curve on a sheet of graph
paper charms him more than the
most beautiful co-ed. He is conspicu-
ous by his absence from the recrea-
tional and social halls—all day long
doth he toll in lab, and he reporteth
thereon until the wee small hours.
Six days he labors and does all he
can, and on the seventh he makes a
gallant attempt to keep from getting
even further behind.
Others may philosophize on an ex-
istence In an Idyllic paradise where
no one works—a host of mechanical,
servants execute, the slightest whims
sembied "Old Home Week or Some-
thing. A lot of the old regulars were
conspicuous by their absence; others
just conspicuous. Of course there
were a few architects there, there al-
ways, is.
Noticed a lot of gals that don't, go
to Rice. It, is a pity that, some of the
Rice .girls can't Interest ! our boys.
Some of the High school girls are go-
ing to be large children when they
grow up. Just Who is the STONE
girl STANFORD?
Maybe even if VAN GUNDY does
slip at one place he will do all right
at another. I listened in. on his. tell-
ing, one of his fellow Chemists about
the old friend he , met again at the
dance.
BILL LORIMER gave a very be-
coming imitation of a monkey craw-
ling around the bannisters* oil the bal-
cony at the University club. Or was
it an imitation?
Of course there are a few people
who always come back We saw THE
GRATE DOSE', and STEEN but I
tliink the Rice boys need not fear for ]
their ladies fair. 1 I
How many remarks wer|| ®de-
about the slow speed at which MISS ;
O'RIORDAN traveled around the
block?
Looks like 20 inch VACUUM SHIP- j
LEY has turned social along with j
HARP. Well, birds of a feather!
Far be it from us to leave out a
promising. Chemist. 2f> c.c, LANDS- j
BURG was pleasantly missed at the |
dance. AMPHOTERIC GUS HENS- j
CHEN has a secret love. Women call
hihv up and he reclines on stair rails
at the dance, wot a man!
Just; a few flowers now. R. T, and
GRAFTON were there, as nice a
couple as wen at' the school. BYERS
was there and got the usual rush and
MISS FOWLER you looked exception-
l ally nice Saturday night, even better
than usual
Now let's leave the dance:
Have you all noticed how these lit-
tle girls on the way up become snooty
and dumber* There were some nice
girls in the crowd that got mixed up
in politics and got elected. If you
ijii
Curb Service
Refreshing Drinks
and Sandwiches
A Specialty
The CABLES, Inc.
"Every Service y'oii Evnvfi of a
Good D*'itf) Store"
3100 Wain St.
Had. 2101
your
win
Double Stylecige and
Mileage in
jK, SLACKS
You can get wash trousers for almost any
price you want to pay^ We admit frankly
that Palm Beach slacks cost more than some.
They cost $5. But remember that in these
outdoor days your slacks are an important
part of your Wardrobe.
Palm Beach slacks hold their shape and
drape so much better than most summe-
trousers. They keep their smart lines fheir
weave is open to admit the air. And their
fuzzless fibres resist dirt. They dre.being
shown in white and in fashion's newest cc'
ors. All wash splendidly... And yjrj? repepf,
$5 for two legs At your favorite clothier's,
I'iiIiii Itc.-m'li Stacks
n'
U O O l
AM, « O >1
«1\<IX1ATI
I* A > V
.
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of their fancy; by his unending grind
the engineer is bringing this rosy fu-
ture into reality.
The L, S. rateth, she is endowed
with vanity; the P. E. with strength,
and the Phi Beta with brightness . . .
but the engineer; Yea, verily I say
unto you, ye that believeth in him
hath understanding.
Get Your
PALM
BEACH
SLACKS
... at Sakowitz. Com-
plete assortments of sizes
and colors.
$5
Do you know the Fountain Pen Hos-
pital has erasers (or all makea of Pen-
cils? Ml Kress Bldf. V. WIS.
On Main at Rusk
• Thfl Co
' 'i'ii,ilill
TUNE IN—Luokiei are on the air Saturdays, with THE HIT PARADE,over NBC Network 8 to 9 p. m. B. S. T.
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The Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 20, No. 28, Ed. 1 Friday, April 26, 1935, newspaper, April 26, 1935; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth230330/m1/3/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.