The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 41, No. 23, Ed. 1 Friday, April 9, 1954 Page: 3 of 6
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FRIDAY. APRIL 9, 1954
THE THRESHER
Three
BLINKUS RAKES EXPOSITION,
JUKE BOX, OVER COALS
THRESHING IT OUT
Critic Blasts Blinkus Column
By DR. THEO BALD BLINKUS
Both the Ding-dong and the Bell (which Paul Cochran
dismantled from the Campanile Tower) were big attractions
in my Exposition display on the fifth floor of the library.
Also enjoyed was my collection of Rocks of Gibraltar; and the
Old Oaken Bucket, which I cleverly converted into a wishing-
well (an idea I got from the
Country Fair).
The Alchemists' Dive was a fine
exhibit—one of the finest, I might
add . . . Many people were in doubt,
however, as to which one of my
"Encantations" was used. (Please
quote volume numbers and dates of
publication on all references to my
books).
I want to also thank the
Thresher Staff for displaying my
articles and the story of how they
are set in type each week ... in
the left wing of the Lounge.
Credit is due, some anyway, to
Dean McBride for posting an ob-
viously phoney notice concerning
Astronomy Scholarships on the
Lounge Bulletin Board.
Finally, let me caution who ever
has been going around writing
"Blinkus is Our Hero" on the walls
. . . that he is defacing school prop-
erty, in spite of his good inten-
tions. (I suspect that Jonce John-
son has had a hand in this!)
The new Squawk-Box is excit-
ing and well-played by all the
birdwits who frequent the Roost
and the Coop.
I'm holding my nickel, though,
for the Music Rome Wine-0 who
comes down (someday?) with his
album under his arm and tries to
put some of that classical—on the
machine. Decks will fly when he
does.
Charles Tapley tells me that Lib-.
by Farrar, Murff Bledsoe, and
Fred Duckett failed to read my col-
umn last week. I have deliberately
announced their names ... as a
humiliation . . . and a warning to
others. Just ask some of your fel-
low pupils what a delightful and
in formative source of news and
entertainment I have in store each
week.
►
Go With The Crowd
Well, I have hardly been able
to touch Campus Crime in this
issue . . . and I hear Dr. Hessel-
tine coming up the stairs already.
We have been talking about co-
laborating on a bestseller that we
dub "History of the Southern
Moon." (We had previously consid-
ered bringing Dr. Davies in on it
and calling it "Love Cycles of the
Rice Institute Male, Female, etc.
. . but my colleagues felt this would
be too direct an approach to our
topic).
In any case, it will be as sexy a
combination of history and astrono-
my as one is likely to find. The coop
has agreed to stock it along with
their regular pick-pocket assort-
ment. (Please don't fail to buy a
copy and check for the correct
spelling of your name).
To the Editor:
It has come to my attention
through my students that your pub-
lication has been printing weekly
a column by a psuedo-professor who
claims intellectual genius. This ob-
vious fallacy would never have
phased my high level of thinking
until one of my poorer students had
the audacity to quote this so-called
professor. I have even heard it ru-
mored, fallaciously of course, that
Theo Bald Blinkus claims to be far
above the rest of our staff of pro-
fessors. This, my dear misguided
children, is impossible, as he in no
way can measure up to my obvious
genius, even in my weaker moments.
From my office atop the Campan-
ile tower, I look down upon the
bats issuing forth from his belfry
in the Chemistry building.
To further repute this psuedo-pro-
fessor, his course in Astrology has
been termed a snap by my rigid
standax-ds. Imagine! Allowing a
student to pass not only a test, but
even more terrifying—to pass the
course itself. This is a deplorable
and shameful situation! We here at
the Institute cannot condone such
laxity in curriculum. I am very
pleased with my record of never
having . a student even approach
passing one of my quizzes. My stu-
dents, now studying the philosophi-
cal aspects of Spiderism, have a few
minutes of spare time a week, but
in this time I require them to debate
to add to the laurels of Rice Insti-
tute.
To the editor:
I am not nor have I ever been Dr.
Theobald Blinkus. Now will you
please get these people off my neck.
Regards,
Cochran
To the editor:
Ditto.
In order to prove convincingly
that I am far superior to Bunkus—I
mean Blinkus, I have graciously
permitted a few of my inferior stu-
dents to meet his best students in
a public debate. The winner of this
debate will have proved his superi-
ority, and it would only be fair for
him to receive the space which is j
now being cluttered up by Dr. Bald- !
kus—I mean Blinkus. If the debate | i
ends in a tie, the space will be left j
blank—but who can deny that that
will be an improvement ovep pres-
ent conditions.
I will expect Slinkus—1 mean
Blinkus, to meet the Spiders within
the month.
Dr. Sta-luse Sausage
Professor of Spiderism
Jonce Johnson
Dresses
• Millinery
• Sportswear
In The Village
2519 UNIVERSITY
ITS ALL A MATTER OF TASTE
My roommate was^meaner?
No person couWbygj" Ws'tune-
But luV'^he^eShe? cleaner!
They re smooth
Indiana University
iwsp
• — ' S
to the
PARADISE
RESTAURANT
Formerly The
BAMBOO RESTAURANT
For The Best In
CHINESE and
AMERICAN FOOD
Breakfast, Lunches and
Dinner Served
Open Until Midnipht
2425 University JA-1167
When you come right down to it, you
smoke for one simple reason ... enjoy
ment. And smoking enjoyment is all a
matter of taste. Yes, taste is what counts
in a cigarette. And Luckies taste better.
Two facts explain why Luckies taste
better. First, L.S./M.F.T.—Lucky Strike
means fine tobacco... light, mild, good-
tasting tobacco. Second, Luckies are ac-
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always round, firm, fully packed to draw
freely and smoke evenly.
So, for the enjoyment you get from
better taste, and only from better taste,
Be Happy—Go Lucky. Get a pack or a
carton of better-tasting Luckies today.
=#*-
Iwxr
STRfKE\
"'S TOASTfO
SS3S6-
Jean N. Singleton
San Jose State College
COLLEGE SMOKERS PREFER LUCKIES
A comprehensive survey—based on
31,000 student interviews and super-
vised by college professors—shows that
smokers in colleges from coast to coast
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COM., THE AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY
LUCKIES TASTE BETTER
CLEANER,
FRESHER,
SMOOTHER!
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The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 41, No. 23, Ed. 1 Friday, April 9, 1954, newspaper, April 9, 1954; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth230966/m1/3/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.