The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 42, No. 2, Ed. 1 Friday, October 1, 1954 Page: 3 of 8
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FRIDAY* OCTOBER I, 1954
THE THRESHER
Three
*
> By "bridge eJcpert" I mean a per-
son frho does nothing but play
bridge in his leisure time and is
considered by himself and his ad-
*
mirers to be an excellent player.
An "admirer" is a person who
knows nothing about bridge. There
are many bridge experts in the Rice
lounge, waiting to entice an inno-
cent "fourth" into a gaiAe. I have
observed them with varying de-
grees of disgust, and after six
weeks have learned how to avoid
them.
It is true that the bridge expert
must have a fair knowledge of the
game, but this is not of primary
importance, as he can always bluff
with a few knowledge-effusing
phrases whenever he does not know
what to do. Undoubtedly the most
important quality of the bridge ex-
pert is that of loudly exposing ev-
eryone else's mistakes. He coldly
tells everybody, even the other self-
styled bridge experts, that they bid
entirely wrong or that they played
horribly. When two experts get
together there is general confu-
sion and uproar as they vie loudly
with each other to see who can ex-
pose the most mistakes. It is an
undeniable sign of his genius for
the expert to say to a player who
is ust learning, "You sure have got
guts to bid the way you do," or "If
you had any sense at all you'd have
known you couldn't double my bid."
The bridge expert smokes con-
stantly; I have never seen one who
has not been a chain smoker. "It is
particularly appropriate if he sets
^several packs on the table. This
makes it much easier for passers-
by to see that -he is an expert.
While he is bidding, he always lays
his cigarette or cigar on the edge
of the table, and he is responsible
for the beautiful burned spots on
the table edges. When play begins
the expert doesn't forget to blow
smoke in his opponent's face. This
is sure to give the expert a huge
advantage, as the opponent can
hardly play his \ best when he is
choking to death.
While playing a contract, the true
expert continually stares a tthe
ceiling and mumbles. After this,
display of his deep power of con-
centration, his admirers never doubt
that he is a genius. If he goes down
four tricks, the admirers only say
that the cards were stacked against
him, never thinking that perhaps
he played incorrectly. If the expert,
along with mumbling and ceiling-
gazing, points his finger at the op-
ponent and says with a sage look,
"Now he has four diamonds, two
hearts, thr-ee spades, and four
clubs," his admirers are completely
prostrated with awe, even if the
opponent doesn't happen to have
* this distribution at all.
There are various ^ glances, ges-
tures, and mysterious phrases that
the expert uses to show his tre-
mendous knowledge. If he is go-
ing to pass, he doesn't say, "I pass,"
but he bangs vigorously on the ta-
ble. If the opponent makes a con-
tract, the expert scoffs it off by
saying, "It was an icy-cold bid" (I
have never been able to figure out
jyhat that means exactly, but I'm
sure it doesn't refer to the tempera-
ture of the hand). The expert con-
stantly smiles and winks at his
partner in order to let him admir-
ers Jtnow that he has the game fig-
_ ured. These winks may, however,
be some pre-arranged signal to as-
sure victory, y
["he bridge expert always knows
it the hand would have made,
sr the hand is already over, and
the cards are being shuffled for
the next hand, he spouts forth with
his diagnosis. He says to his op-
OTHER SCHOOLS
Claremont, Calif. — (I.P.) — The mond Iredell, dean of the faculty,
last three weeks of each semester
may be pretty quiet affairs at Po-
mona College beginning with the
1964-55 academic year. t)r. F. Ray-
ponent, without any fear of con-
tradiction, "If you lead the two of
hearts instead of the six of dia-
monds on the third trick, we go
down four tricks instead of making
game." So the bridge genius con-
tinues insulting one and all, ad-
mired by his followers and laughed
at by the rest.
announces that the faculty has ap-
proved a three-week reading period
for upper division courses at the
end of each semester.
Participation will be at the op-
tion of the instructor, who may if
he desires call up to three class
meetings during the period. All
regular course assignments such as
term papers must be submitted by
students before the period begins.
Students are being urged to re-or-
ganize extra-curricular activities in
such a way that the period will be
kept free of social and other non-
academic events.
"Students have frequently sug-
gested that they do not'have suffi-
cient opportunity to do uninterrupt-
ed reading when they would profit
most by it," Dr. Iredell said. "After
lectures and class discussions have
opened up significant problem^
and provided a method of approach
to a field, it is felt that it would
be profitable to have time for in-
dependent study and reflection to
cover a considerable amount of
material in an independent way
and round out the work of a se-
mester."
• Dresses
• Millinery
• Sportswear
In The Village
2519 UNIVERSITY
jFARLfcSS^OSDICK
J -THAN THE AVERAGE. NEAT—
WELLrGROOMED OCTOPUS.'/- AND
TM AT - 15 WHAT GAVE.
YOU AWAY . GET MUOROOT
THAT'S A LIE//- KM A REAL.
OCTOPUS Ff~ I'M JUST A LITTLE.
B. AFFECTIONATE THAN
THE AVERAGE !f
BUT, THAT
WOULD
NO MATTER WHAT
YOUR NAME. IS, YOU
BE ILLEGAL.'// WOULDN'T NEED 8 ARMS
MY NAME IS / TO GET A GIRL, IF
BE IV J' /YOU'D USE WILDROOT
CREAM-OIL , WITH
LANOLIN fff
by AL CAPP
SAVE Af£ U THAT'S NO OCTOPUS,
FROM THIS T MADAM.'!''-THAT'S
OCTOPUS7'/ AWFACS.criminal
' MASTER OF
V CREAM-OIL
CHARUE'
WILDROOT
HAIR
WILDROOT CREAM-OIL KEEPS HAIR COMBED FROM MORNING TILL NIGHTflff^ WITHOUT GREASIKIESS
STUDENTS!
Got a lucky Droodle
in your noodle?
SEND IT IN AND
MAN PLAYING TROMBONE
IN TELEPHONE BOOTH
Want to pick up $25? Make up a Lucky
Droodle and send it in. It's easy.
If you want to find out just how easy it
is, ask Roger Price, creator of Droodles.
"Very!" Price says. Better yet, do a Droodle
yourself, like the ones shown here.
Droodle anything you like. And send in
as many as you want. If we select yours,
we'll pay $25 for the right to use it, together
with your name, in our advertising. We're
going to print plenty—and lots that we
don't print will earn $25 awards.
Draw your Droodles any size, on any piece
of paper, and send them with your descrip-
tive titles to Lucky Droodle, P. O. Box 67,
New York 46, N. Y. Be sure your name,
address, college and class are included.
While you're droodling, light up a Lucky
—the cigarette that tastes better because
it's made of fine tobacco . . . and "It's
Toasted" to taste better.
DROODLES, Copyright. 1963, by Roger Price
tflWtii
SHIP ARRIVING TOO MTI
TO SAVI DROWNING WITCH
OA. T. Co. PRODUCT OF
"IT'S TOASTED"
to taste better!
AMERICA'S LEADING MANUFACTURER OP CIGARETTES
"« *M
LUCKIES LEAD AGAIN IN COLLEGES!
Newest, biggest survey of smokers in colleges from coast to coast, based on
34,440 actual student interviews, shows that students prefer Luckies to all
other brands. Once again, the No. 1 reason: Luckies taste better.
4
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The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 42, No. 2, Ed. 1 Friday, October 1, 1954, newspaper, October 1, 1954; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth230973/m1/3/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.