The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 65, No. 28, Ed. 1 Thursday, March 16, 1978 Page: 3 of 20
twenty pages : ill. ; page 20 x 14 in.View a full description of this newspaper.
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Dear Mr. Fowler,
You are invited to apply for a
Sears credit card—
Notice the wording; they
probably spent a fair amount
of time figuring out a way to
entice me without promising
anything. I'll bet they mailed
that same application to at
least several others on
campus. Although theirs were
not addressed to 614 Lovett
Hall like mine was.
Then they go on to
encourage me by saying that
it's easier to get one of their
plastic things than I might
think. All I have to do is tell
them my occupation, my net
monthly earnings, my
checking account number, and
list some credit references.
Well , Mr. Sears, I occupy
myself with the Rice
Thresher, where my job is to
give most albums I review a 2;
as for monthly earnings, it
depends upon what month you
want to look at; my checking
account number is my parents'
telephone number; and my
present credit reference is
Howard, whom I owe $2.62 for
last month's phone bill and
hope to have paid off in as few
installments as possible. Boy,
I can't wait to get my Sears
credit card.
Getting credit is like getting
laid, one of those things that
happens to you to let you know
you're not a kid anymore. Just
think, there are people out
there who won't mind you
running up a several hundred
dollar bill, because they trust
you. They see Rice next to
School and they go, "Now
there's someone you can
trust." If you have enough
responsibility to respond to
pressure in a realistic manner,
then you've got -what it takes
to hold down a decent paying
job, and are not a subhuman
credit risk.
Establishing credit means
making a good name for
yourself financially, meeting
down payments, collecting
plastic, charging that item you
could pay cash for. Because
you will want a good credit
rating when you finally
meander up to a simulated
wood grain desk plate at the
bank and mumble to the
person with the crooked name
tag that what you most desire
in the whole world right then
is a mortgage on your very
first house. Before which, you
ought to know that mortgage
comes from the root mort,
meaning dead, which is what
you'll be if you screw up on the
payments.
Can't you see it even now?
It's been waiting for you since
it was built in 1962. It's a 2-
bedroom, 1-bath, combination
dining room-living room,
wood-faced house with a
carport instead of a garage, a
Big Wheel in the driveway,
and a sometimes sliding glass
door that opens on a slab of
concrete they call a patio. For
all you know it could be what
was left over when the builders
stepped back and saw where
the inside ended.
All because you had the
foresight to get a Sears credit
card. Now you can be on their
mailing list and be one of the
first to find out when the
Legtricity® Panty Hose is on
sale. Then you can go to a
Shell station wearing them
and not even need a credit
card. With one leg pulled over
your head and the other over
the arm with the gun they
won't refuse you anything.
Your Sears credit card will
be good at 3,600 Sears stores
from coast to coast. Unless you
mess up on your payments, in
which case your Sears credit
In the colleges
Brown—Elections for the
Internal Vice-President and
the five Court members will be
Wednesday, March 22.
Petitions for all offices are due
Friday, March 17 by 5:00 P.M.
Blurbs for Internal Vice-
President are also due at this
time. Off-campus members get
a free meal on elections day.
Room deposit deadline is
March 22. Brown members
must show their deposit
receipt to Mrs. VonEiff. There
is a list in the lobby of people
looking for roommates.
* * *
Wiess—Any 1978-79 Juniors,
Seniors or 5th Yrs. interested
in being Wiess College Fellows
ought to sign up in the
Commons. You need a B-
average and it does not matter
if you are off-campus. Very few
Juniors will probably be
chosen.
Lovett College held the first
round of its annual elect-a-
thon Tuesday. The winners
were—Leon Vance, president;
Jeff Kerr, vice-president; Jim
Fowler, secretary; and Mike
Welsh, chief justice. Petitions
for the co-ordinators are due
Friday, and their election will
be held Tuesday.
In last week's Senate
article, it was erroneously
reproted that R. Dale Baker
was a sophomore from Will
Rice. He is a junior. Sam
Carrington, the Proctor,
said that he did not reject
the names submitted for the
Parking Appeals Board as
reported in the same article.
He had requested that more
applicants be subitted.
Nous regrettons.
card will be bad at 3,600 Sears
stores from coast to coast.
They won't even let you charge
a half pound of those chocolate
wafers with the white
sprinkles on the top. They'll go
tell other stores what a
subhuman you are, and before
you know it they'll be
following your children as
they walk home from school
and entice them to get in the
car by offering them chocolate
wafers with the white
sprinkles on the top. They'll
drain the water from your
Diehard® Battery and poke
holes in your Ted Williams®
Camping Equipment. They'll
steal the Charmglow®
Barbecue from your concrete
slab and run over the Big
Wheel® in your driveway.
They'll pour Domino® Sugar
in your gas tank and poison
your puppy dog with Hartz®
Doggie Dead Puppy Poison
Pills. And all because you had
the foresight to get a Sears
credit card.
D00HESBURT
well, i was
hardly a Bib
hero or any-
thin6! BUT I
paid my
dubs/
i knoul what
you mem. i
freedom-fought
for a few years
/ myself!
phrbd, i'd like you
to meet a feuouj
underdevelopbr! this
herb is eddie nod jo,
from the republic of
1060!
welcome
glad 70 to the
meet you, club,
eddie! phrbd'
oo
ed. phred
really?
whose
herb used
the
french!
to star
with the
viet cong
aussu
not me!
say, how many
lanbuabescan on
w get on the most
i translation days,
earphones six.!
here? '
all of
but victor
do
you
know
her•
business!
you buys yeah, try
have a the french:
prefer- channel two!
encer /
oh... oh.
my!
snuck into
native
i needed
her booth
to the
once..
to check
bi6p0ui
out some
ers.of
idioms'
course.
.
what's going open debate.
on down on but dont w0r-
i the floor, ry—we won't
victor ? be included!
you can for-
mr.secretary! get normal
the socialist procedure,
republic of.. phrbd! we 're
too far back
then, what do well,
you do to get generally,
their attention? we shout
a lot!
h&! a?^l <*■mrB
0*0! iSZggSi
\ \ thatw0rks.
to be no
vced'
i object we demand
mr. secretary!
t OBJECT' debate PRO
J CBDURB!
ORDER! one more out-
burst from the back,
and i'll have your
earphones d/s- tt's a
connected! what? bujff!
cool! i
i <fct
/ (jj£ shall ooover-
come!!- mb shall
ovbrcooome!
IS_ \J3
our of order'.
the third by the
world is out that m you
of 0rperi figured
out the
buses
..and I VEHEMENTLY pro-
test this arbitrary act
of censure! the world's
i underdeveloped nations
WILL be heard
from'.
that's strange.. its still.
norbacvon.. being trans-
lated ■■
"thank
vlf/\A/ S^aAP!
_ \ \h you go!
\ well, see
i you at the
ii plenary
session,
i victor.!
i
right!.. oh, us-
ten, phred, want
to join me and
someoftheunder-
developers for a
drink after work?
sure! just the gang.
whoall's togo, maldives,
coming ? niger, burundi,
kampuchea..
kampuchea? you
mean cambodia?
you expect me
to drink with
the ambassador
from CAMBODIA?
don't tell
me you two
countries
still cling
to your old
grudges?
for pete's so avoid
sake, victor! the subject!
we just this is the
invaded u.n., phred!
them!
the rice thresher, march 16, 1978—page 3
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Parker, Philip. The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 65, No. 28, Ed. 1 Thursday, March 16, 1978, newspaper, March 16, 1978; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth245365/m1/3/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.