The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 69, No. 22, Ed. 1 Friday, February 19, 1982 Page: 23 of 24
twenty four pages : ill. ; page 20 x 14 in.View a full description of this newspaper.
Extracted Text
The following text was automatically extracted from the image on this page using optical character recognition software:
"Oh Lord, I can't come."
— 7:50 p.m.
"That's all you're getting from me
tonight. Sorry." — 7:52 p.m.
Lusty Quinny
***
A freshman named G,
Dated a guy named T.
She forgot a love across campus,
Hopefully, she'll always remember
this:
The juice is sweeter from a darker
berry.
***
"This function won't come!"
S.R., while fumbling with
something near his crotch.
DEATH TO ALL FANATICS!!
***
Eschew Obfuscation.
**•
"This is a nice tool; we just have to
point it in the right direction."
— Prof. R. Pool, 11:30 a.m.,
Wednesday, Feb. 3
•*#
Paradox: a statement which
contradicts itself, but doesn't.
•**
Certain things should only be said
once in the misclass.
*
Third Sid
TW: You're a cock-tease!
MC: At least I don't tease male
cocks.
TW: Bestiality?
Nuke the Atom Bomb!
***
There are a few items that should
be seen once in the mislcass.
***
A toast to temperance.
**•
Overheard on 2nd Sid 2/7/82, 10
p.m.:
DL: Sic'em, Joanie.
(later)
DL: Robert, call the Campos!
(still later)
Wham! Clank! Smash!
Heard at Hungry International
2/5/82, 2:36 a.m.: Kathy from
U.S.T.: "It's all sticky. What'd you
do with it?"
*•*
To the Editor.
I am outraged by the obvious
preferential treatment given by one
of your reporters to the women's
track and field team. If you will
examine last week's Thresher, you
will find that five columns of print,
and an (unidentifiable) on top, are
devoted to women's .track, while
men's track is relegated to a mere
two. The journalist responsible,
Jeanne Cooper, also the sports
editor herself, shows blatant
misanthropy by featuring her
women's track spread with a
banner headline across the top of
page 13 (an obvious eye-catcher)
while, the snubs the men's team,
hiding the wisp of an article in a
corner, between Zeke's hamburger
advert and "Animals in Heat,"
which sounds like something on
the Village Theater marquee. I
don't know much about sports, but
I know unabashed favoritism
when I see it. Why is women's
basketball on top on page 11? Are
you kinky, Ms. Cooper? I demand
that these grievous inequities be
rebuked! —Jack Bieler,
Baker '85
[Editor's note: Letters to the
Editor which I feel like putting in
the Back Page section will not be
printed in the Threshing It Out
column.]
for typical rice girls who have considered suicide when the misclass is enul«i«iiii
Hrtw lone has artificial To the Jealous Brown Sexist "You really like him, don't you?"
insemination Sffected your Women's Club: Prude Brown Scene I: C and L k,SS
existence? Have some of your darlings aren tin order for our piassionatc,y-
ancestors eaten cows created Casino Partv. Our hearty Lovett Scene II: Strains of I Feel Like
"You just stick it in and pull it out.
No moving around from side-to-
side. Just bang in and bang out."
Biol 473 lab
***
Carter #1 sucks green donkey
dicks. Carter #2 sodomizes
puppies.
Armed officer qualities
make one ill at ease
when the exampled one
is named Tony Munn.
God, save us from war, please.
***
He raised the two knives, one in
each hand, high in the air and felt
the Force course through him just
like on Star Wars. Now this was
power. He rotated the knives
slightly so the blades caught the
bright kitchen light and flashed
mightily. With a swift, decisive
motion, Joey buried the knives in
his gut. Now we'll see who has to
cut the lettuce, he thought. Joey
walked into the dining room,
where his mother was setting the
table and his father was watching
the evening news. The knives
wobbled as he walked, and he was
afraid they might fall out.
"Done with the lettuce already?"
asked his mother.
"Nope." Somehow his voice
sounded funny.
His mother looked up and
dropped the silverware. Then she
quickly caught herself, thinking it
was a prank.
"Yes, Joey, that looks very
scary, but would you please finish
the lettuce." Her tone was
nonchalant, but her breath was
slightly rushed. His father turned
from the TV set.
"Okay." His voice still didn't
sound quite like it should. Joey
turned to leave, but his father
moved rapidly across the room
and caught him by the arm. Joey's
voice had betrayed him. Joey's
father pressed his hand gently
against one of the knives.
"Joe, are you all—" The blade
vibrated slightly with each beat of
Joey's heart. The blood was
flowing.
"FranT Now daddy's voice
sounded funny. Joey's mother let
out a sudden, powerful "What?"
and once again dropped the
silverware, this time breaking a
glass. The scream and the break
reminded Joey of a commercial he
had seen on TV.
"Can I sit down now?" asked
Joey. Daddy said only, "Oh shit,
oh God, oh God, oh God ...," but
Joey sat down anyway, casing the
knives to wobble some more.
*
Dr. Miele: I don't care if you were
an artillery officer under
Mussolini.
***
"And all the thumbtacks that fell
out of the moon . . "
— 8th Brown, 1/1/82, late
*•*
"I pledge allegiance to . . ."
"To what?"
". . To Canada!"
"Canada? Why?"
"Man, isn't that a marijuana leaf
on their flag?" — 8th Brown,
1/1/82, much much later
Ray: "Why do you call him Tiny
Penis?"
L. Jay: "I don't know ... I just
picked it up one day."
5:56 p.m., 2/4/82
PREGNANCY TESTS
• Immediate Appointments
e Confidential Counseling
• Birth Control Information
e Termination of Pregnancy
—t
Tttasr
CUHK
bOOyi* IIIMI
9
West Loop Clinic
622-2170
2909 WEST LOOP SOUTH
HOUSTON, TEXAS 77027
through artificial insemination? If
you don't know that when you eat
a being born in bad karma, such as
a beast created for comfort, you
yourself must suffer such bad
karma. If so, then why do you call
yourself a New Federalist?
•*
Do you want to know . . .
1) The no. of roaches that mated
on Murray Hill last summei?
2) The no. of white-robed
crusaders in Brompton?
3) People who pulled computer
cables without touching one?
4) Statistics on graduate
housing?
For these and other exciting
facts of life, call your friendly
neighborhood statistics hotline
(661-3894) — managed by
"Master" Bala Iyer and "Man-
Friday" Lammam. Our friendly
operators (no recordings) will
greet you with, "This is Bala here!
May I help you! . . ."
* *
Professor Pearlman was once
heard to say to a timerarious
Comp 220 student: "Now I'll just
bet you anything that this course
won't be nearly as hard as you're
trying to make it out to be." Is this
an example of the celebrated
Pascalian Wager?
— Anonymous botch
***
January 1982: "They wear red
glasses in China all the time. It is
not punk." — Alex
• **
February 3, 1982: "The sun is the
greatest thing on earth." —Alex
To the Jealous Brown Sexist
Women's Club: Prude Brown
darlings aren't in order for our
Casino Party. Our hearty Lovett
sailors are too good for the likes of
you! — "Hie Lovett Wenches
P.S. The cool Brown wenches
are welcome to share with us any
time!
Hey R.C.
Instant Karma's gonna get you.
We know who you are.
***
On Sunday, Feb. 14 at 6:15 p.m.
Mr. Robeau proved himself
completely incapable of enduring a
waking day without reference or
actions pertaining to Softball or
baseball. Forfeiture of his
treasured bat for a period of one
week was the designated penalty
for this failure. The occupants of
the Baker Cave send their deepest
condolences to a now-confirmed
sports junkie. Too bad, Sweat
Sox! — The Cavemen
Hey-la, hey-la
My boyfriend's back!
Banshee-
Thanks for the
You're a sweetie.
Aspire to tokenism!
Casino Party waiter!
carnation.
— K
Be a Lovett
A2 — There are very few things I
enjoy eating more than lasagna ...
Happy V-day! —from an electric
blanket that Hamilton Beach
doesn't make.
Mary Dearest —
I may be in Brooklyn
know where you
fifteen!
but we
were at six-
Making Love" drift from 220
Jones into the corridor.
Scene |II: L., "I can't. Creed, I'm
just too short."
Bellefontaine Apartments, 7 Feb.
Coed: "She wanted us to do
exercises 1, 2, 3 and 4, but 4 is
oral."
ROTC: "Well, if you want, I'll sit
there and you can do it orally in
front of me . . ."
ROTC (again): "Har, har, har!"
Coed: "Oh God!"
Later
Coed: "I got it in too, does that
make me a man?"
• ••
History Prof. Lowenheim
describing his colleague Hyman's
latest book: "Tsk tsk, there are
some problems with it."
• **
Dr. Bryant in Econ 375: "The good
thing about being an economist is
that you can name a partial
derivative after yourself. You can't
do that in any other discipline."
•••
There once was a ROTC named
MUNN
Whose laziness could not be
outdone.
The elevator to the second floor he
could ride,
Speaking of nothing but sex once
inside,
And this is the way U.S. wars will
be won?
***
"Why am I stressing this point? I
don't think anyone can answer that
question." —Dr. B. Brody,
Phil 3/16
NAN'S
MORE THAN 600
ADULT
SCIENCE FICTION
ADVENTURE
FANTASY AND
WAR GAMES
OUR NEW LOCATION:
118 BRIARGROVE CENTER
6100 WESTHEIMER
OPEN 11 A.M. to 9 P.M
§iwi
&
ATTENTION D & D PLAYERS AND DUNGEON MASTERS!
THINK OF THE COMPANY
WHICH OFFERS THE BEST IN
FANTASY AND HISTORICAL
GAMES
Headquarters
IS A BR AGO! S
THE GATEWAY TO FANTASTIC
ADVENTURE GAMING
it now located in
Briargrova Canter
R HORfV!
GAME
ACCESSORIES
6100 Westheimer
783-4055
H t X
SHM 1 S
GAMES FOR
THE
DEDICATED
HOBBYIST
AS WELL
AS GAMES
FOR THE ENTIRE
FAMILY.
• ant,i\\ jih) mi fi
The Rice Thresher, f ebruan I4). l'
Upcoming Pages
Here’s what’s next.
Search Inside
This issue can be searched. Note: Results may vary based on the legibility of text within the document.
Tools / Downloads
Get a copy of this page or view the extracted text.
Citing and Sharing
Basic information for referencing this web page. We also provide extended guidance on usage rights, references, copying or embedding.
Reference the current page of this Newspaper.
Grob, Jay. The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 69, No. 22, Ed. 1 Friday, February 19, 1982, newspaper, February 19, 1982; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth245494/m1/23/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.