The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 71, No. 22, Ed. 1 Friday, March 2, 1984 Page: 24 of 24
This newspaper is part of the collection entitled: Texas Digital Newspaper Program and was provided to The Portal to Texas History by the Rice University Woodson Research Center.
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1/
lithe unmlsclassi:
Dear "Inversely Proportional to
Mental Capabilities,"
Unlike you and your sniveling,
socially degenerate, bookworm
cohorts, who have probably never
done anything socially of note
during your entire career at Rice
(except cramp up over your
Physics text for countless hours),
we, part of the true Rice
community, participate in most
University functions including the
traditional inter-college yell wars.
As to your blanket statement
claiming that we receive some sort
of sexual satisfaction from the
aforementioned oratorical
confrontations; it is a little known
fact that only 11% of Rice students
experience sexual ecstasy
comparable to multiple orgasms
while verbally jousting with our
neighbors, and we are part of that
select percentage. And as to your
erroneous hypothesis that we
somehow lack masculinity, 1
challenge you to test that claim by
objectively judging our
performance with a test of oral-
genital stimulation— you, of
course, taking the submissive role
of stimulator. PS.— It bothers
you? Wow, well have to do it more
often.
***
What the hell do you mean
"Typical Rice Guys" competition.
I challenge you wimps (BK, BN,
DM, BJ; you know who you are)
to strap on leather armor and go
out and do real men's battle. Short
arms only.
—NOVA
*•
Karen B. has announced that she
will now extend her vacation
though graduation.
***
I'm counting on-you to figure out
what was in my mind before it got
drugged.
—Dr. Patter though a glorious
haze, 2/20/84.
***
What's the deal with all the dead
birds? Three time in the last 24
hours, I've nearly stepped on one.
Someone should use them in a
recipe and win a free t-shirt.
It's been suggested— hal
***
Beware the Ides of March!
What feels good isn't always what
you want...
...but sometimes it is.
**•
That's not self-control, that's lack
of desire.
venal ads
For Sale. Genesis II speakers, JVC
JR-5100 Receiver (30 watts),
Sansui SR-222 Turntable. Sounds
great. $200. Call 223-0591, ask for
Ed. After 6, call 953-1162.
*•*
Apartment For Rent. Meyerland
area. From $260 plus elec. $100
deposit. One month free rent and
free trip to Acapulco. Free Cable
TV. 664-8048.
***
St. Patrick's Day kick-off party.
Knights of Columbus Hall, 5202
South Willow. Sunday, March 4,
2:00 to 6:00 pm. Live music by
Claddagh. Call Fred Olson at 664-
3460 after 6 pm. for additional
information.
m**
Room In Home with private bath.
Use of washer, dryer, phone and
ref. student or young adult. Close
to Rice Univ. One block off Village
and bus. $65 per week. 668-6920.
***
Fondren Tennis Club. Personable,
people-oriented man or woman
needed to work reservation desk.
We are looking for someone with
mathematical skills and good
knowledge of tennis. Approx. 25
hours per week. Call 784-4010.
Home Builder needs part-time
help. 20-30 hrs./wk. Flexible
hours. $6.50/hr. West University
& River Oaks area. Construction
experience helpful. Must have own
transportation. Call 524-4504.
One bedroom apt. Bicycle from
Rice to our quiet 76 unit adult
project. Located near Mandell and
Bissonnet, Castle Ct. manor has
large student population. $350-
bills pd. Ask for move in special.
524-9787.
* *
Weddings & Parties by Jan.
Professional Catering Services.
Family owned and operated. Free
bridal and party consultation.
Discounts on invitations. Look
over our photos & see the
difference. Call 774-5645.
•**
Complete Word Processing
Services. Dissertations, resumes,
theses, papers, abstracts, mailing
lists, etc. Reasonable rates.
Prompt service. Call 664-8083
after 7 pm.
***
Esalen massage and acupressure.
Jaimo Buechler. 526-1649.
**•
Wanted. One roommate for 2br.
duplex at Greenbriar and
Holcombe. Call Drew at 665-7882,
or 432-1236 or drop by World
cycle at Greenbriar and
Holcombe.
Regional & Local reps wanted to
distribute posters on college
campuses. Part-time work or
more. Requires no sales.
Commission plus piece work.
Average earnings $6 per hour.'
Contact: American Passage, 500
Third Ave West, Seattle WA,
98119 or call 1-800-426-2836.
get the hell out of dodge mlssclass
In the country of the red-haired
people (i.e. the Dutch or the
English), there is a great deal of
going with singing-girls. The
customers set out wine and send
for a girl. They rip off her under-
clothes, gather round her and spit
onto her person. They do not
demand any greater intimacy.
When they have finished spitting,
they send her away. To reward her,
they call on everyone to put money
in a bag.
—Required reading for Hist 250b
***
Music History Trivia
—2/25/84 at 7:31 pm. After being
forced to listen to hard core punk
for four hours, R. Bernobitch, in
an aurally-induced altered state,
calls Damaged I "an elegant
composition".
***
All of us are in the gutter, only
some of us are looking at the stars.
—Oscar Wilde
ransom notes:
the
rice
philter
calendar
Friday, March second
Hanszen: We hare Sammy. If jou wish to see him again in almost one piece,
we demand one keg of Bndweiser. If we don't hear from von in a week, we
will begin to send him back in pieces beginning with nis left wing.
—AFC BUDKEfl
Actually, there are a few people at
Hanszen who don't belong to a
clique... and of course, they won't
hang out with anyone who does...
• ***
Judy, You went out with how
many Swedish midshipmen?
To the girls at 2321 Bissonett. I
would prefer to hear nothing at all
from you if all you have to tell are
ridiculous lies. If you feel like
having fun with letters, send them
somewhere else.
—Mary
***
Alone we live, alone we die, and
while we live, we grasp for things to
hold onto, to confirm our
existence. But those things are just
as alone, and just as transitory, as
we are. And so like the sands along
the shoreline, our world is washed
by the tide and tide again. And some
grains of sand may catch for a few
moments on some bit of shell, but
they too will soon be washed away to
later lodge on some other bit. And
Life goes on...People! Love while you
can, and when that love is no
longer possible, turn and love
anew.
* *
Bike Beer Bike. Do you need a 61
cm (24") frame with major
components to build a good racing
bike? I'm trading up to a better
frame, so buy mine. Trek 531
Reynolds frame with new
Romic/Campy fork. Comes with
all drive components. Needs
seat/post, bars, stem, headset, and
pedals. Possibly less. Call Mike G.
at 220-7682 (8-5) or leave a note at
KTRU in the publicity box for
more information!
*•*
To all men who have recently
shaved off their mustaches or are
considering doing so, Stop!! And
consider your social responsibility
to the female population at Rice.
We wish to make it clear that
mustaches are sexy.
—Two disappointed Rice women.
***
Prof. Anderson, while reading
announcement for a dating project
to his Psych 201 class— "... open to
all males between 17 and 27...
(pause)... I assume that means
age."
2 pm. Men's Tennis vs. LSD. Hess Stadium.
3 pm. Baseball vs. Texas Lutheran. Cameron Field.
7:00. KTRU. SAM. Punk? New wave? Wierdness? Primal
Scream?
7:30. Media Center. Les Enfants Terribles and The
Testament of Orpheus (9:20). S3.
River Oaks. Tooisie (5:15 A 9:30) and La Cage Aux Folks
(7:30).
Saturday, March third
7-7. KTRU. Classics on the Radio (featuring a lack of opera).
2 pm. Baseball vs. Texas Lutheran. Cameron Field.
2:10 pm. Men's Basketball vs. Baylor. Autry Court.
4:30 pm. Women's Basketball vs. Baylor. Autry Court.
7:30 A 10. Media Center. Cross of Iron. S3.
River Oaks. Wargames (1:15,5:15 A 9:45) and/4 Boy and His
Dog (3:30 A 7:30).
Sunday, March fourth
12-7 pm. KTRU. Jazz.
1:30. Baseball vs. Stephen F. Austin State. Cameron Field.
Free for students. BTA.
7:30. Media Center. Passport to Pimlico and Hobson's
Choice (9:10). S3.
River Oaks. Pandora's Box (5:15 A 9:00) and Diary Of A
Lost Girl (7:30)
Monday, March fifth
4 pm. Women's Music. One hour of music of, by, and for women.
10 pm. KTRU. Feature Album. As usual, this is TBA. The most interesting new
release as of 6pm.
River Oaks. I Married a Shadow (5:15, 7:30 A 9:45). Runs through Wednesday.
Tuesday, March sixth
8:30 pm. KTRU. Treasures of the 60's. Obscure and forgotten music until 10 pm.
Wednesday, March seventh 7 00 ktru. Chicken skin Music.
midnight. KTRU. The Hard Core Show.
Thursday, March eighth
3 pm. Baseball vs. Central Michigan, Cameron Field. BTA.
7:00. KTRU. To the Point. Duane Windsor on airline deregulation.
10 pm. KTRU. Feature Album. In My Life by Judy Collins.
River Oaks. Fellini Satyricon (9:30) and Fetlini's Roma (7:00).
Friday, March ninth
3 pm. Baseball vs. St. Mary's (Tex.), Cameron Field.
7:00. KTRU. SAM. Punk? New wave? Weirdness? Primal Scream?
River Oaks. Chilly Scenes of Winter (5:30 A 9:30) and Baby. It's You (7:30).
Saturday, March tenth
2 pm. Baseball vs. St. Mary's (Tex.), Cameron Field.
7-7. KTRU. Classics on the Radio (featuring a lack of opera).
I am. KTRU. No one expects! Humor?
River Oaks. Blade Runner (5:00 A 9:45) and Clockwork Orange (2:30 A 7:15).
Sunday, March eleventh
12-7pm. KTRU. Jazz.
I pm. Baseball vs. Mary Hardin-Baylor, Cameron Field. Double header.
River Oaks. The Mission (1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30 A 9:30) Plays until Tuesday.
Lectures, seminars, coUoquia
A seminar, 'Financing Your Business," is scheduled for Friday, March 2,1-5 pm. and
Saturday, March 3, 1984 from 9-5 pm. For more information, contact the Office of
Executive Development of Rice's Jones Graduate School of Administration or
Charter Bankshares, Inc.
Shepherd School Concerts
The Houston Friends of Music and the Shepherd School of Music present the Tokyo
String Quartet at 8 pm. in Hamman Hall on Sunday, March II. Tickets are S5 for
students and senior citizens. S10 for all others.
Rice Theatre
Julian Curry with the Royal Shakespeare Company will perform Krapp's Last Tape
by Beckett on Saturday, March 17 at Hamman Hall at 8 pm. Free.
fill: broken harted mlssclassiiiiii
A modest proposal for fresh air:
There are certain members of the
Rice population who insist on
bathing in perfume, cologne, etc.
Consequently, in a classroom the
air quickly becomes fouled with
their odor. Perfume and cologne
are wonderful things in
moderation. Overused though,
they quickly become offensive. So
please have consideration for those
who like to breathe without getting
nose full of Passion Flower no. 5 or
whatever else you've chosen to use
to hide behind. I'm sure everyone's
nose will be happier.
—A Friend of Fresh Air
***
This is it folks. The Answer to the
birds. Everyone has a portable
cassette player, right? Everyone
has an extension cord, right? Just
go over to the Hack's and record
some of those dying birds, right?
Then put your recorder over in the
trees behind the library. Then,
every half-hour go over and plug in
your machine. Voila! No birds!
Just goes to show, I go to Rice, I
must be smart.
—Warf ^7
The architect who designed Will
Rice College must have been
chemically inspired.
—A chemically inspired observer
**
Will revival ever hit Rice? Be alert
in March.
To my favorite asshole ROTC
bartender:
Selective enforcement is not only
worse than no enforcement at all, it
is an offence in itself.
***
As we know, there is a great
divergence of opinion among
biologists,' not only about the
cause of evolution, but even about
the actual process. This divergence
exists because the evidence is
unsatisfactory and does not permit
any certain conclusions. It is
therefore right and proper to draw
the attention of the non-scientific
public to the disagreements about
evolution. But some recent
remarks of evolutionists show that
they think this unreasonable. This
situation, where men rally to the
defense of a doctrine they are
unable to define scientifically,
much less demonstrate with
scientific rigor, attempting to
maintain its credit with the public
by the suppression of criticism and
the elimination of difficulties, is
abnormal and undesirable in
science.
— W.R. Thompson: "Intro-
duction," in The Origin of Species,
by Charles Darwin (N.Y., 195o).
***
To the nonbelievers in Soci 203—
March is resocialization month.
*•*
A salamander is kind of a small
frog, isnt it?
—Bio 360
The Rice Thresher, March 2, 1984, page 24
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Mitchell, Mark M. The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 71, No. 22, Ed. 1 Friday, March 2, 1984, newspaper, March 2, 1984; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth245554/m1/24/?q=%22%22~1: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.