The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 72, No. 10, Ed. 1 Friday, October 26, 1984 Page: 2 of 28
twenty eight pages : ill. ; page 20 x 14 in.View a full description of this newspaper.
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This guy really needs help
Little birds. Little birds all over the place, and though I shoot
them all, more keep corping. They defecate at me, and if they hit
me, I die. Of course, 1 die with pretty colors and sound effects, so
it isn't so bad — I even get reincarnated if I'm lucky. But I'm not
even as well off as a cat in that regard.
Returning from a month-long ski trip over Christmas break, I
find my car only after laborious excavation through layers of
bird guano. Wondering about the cause, 1 return to my room
and dress for the most important interview of my life, with the
Infernally Big Machine Corporation. As I walk from my college
to the RMC, 1 wonder a little at the unusually heavy snowfall
that seems to have occured. Funny, it doesn't seem cold. In fact,
I'm rather warm. 1 pause, remove my jacket, and continue.
A sudden gust of wind blows the coat from my grasp. I curse,
then stand mouth agape (yes. I know, I do that even when I'm
not surprised, but you didn't have to remind me) as it disappears
into a snowbank. But no real snowbank would have flowed so
easily around the jacket, indeed, it seems to have swallowed it. I
take a step forward, the snowbank oozes a step toward me.
Not being indecisive when it comes to truly life-or-death
matters (although I sometimes am hesitant in other, less crucial
circumstances... well, I don't know, I guess I'm not that
indecisive... it depends, really), I start running in the other
direction. Luckily, running is faster than oozing. I easily escape
from the amoeboid mass of gleaming white guano, almost
making it to the RMC courtyard, when I remember: the
courtyard isn't there anymore; they took it out during the
expansion project last year. 1 run into a brick wall, cracking a
tooth in the process. Dazed, 1 sit. mouth agape (any other
position being rather painful) and begin trying to decide whether
1 should get a gold or ceramic cap for my damaged incisor..
1 am shocked out of my reverie by the unmistakeable
sensation of my rear dissolving in a soup of protozoic enzymes.
Unable to stand. I sit shrieking in agony as I become dinner for a
semi-sentient mass of birdie poo-poo (which will, in turn,
become dinner for ???), until 1 gradually begin to lose
consciousness.,.
"Paul, wake up. Can you help me with this headline? I think
you're going to have to give me another page. Do you know
when they're going to have my pictures ready? What do you
think we'll do next semester? What about that Watson Brown,
he sure is something, huh?"
Huh? Oh, yeah, whatever you say. Gosh, I've got to stop
falling asleep at the typesetter after eating Pub chili.
— Paul Havlak
New major solves football crisis
Rice's football program is off to yet another unimpressive
start in spite of a new coach, and lots more money. And in spite
of an improvement in their academic records, student athletes
are the most likely to be out in the cold when it comes to
prospects upon graduation. The problem of competing with the
with the so called "Football Factories" remains a very real one,
both in terms of recruiting players, and on the gridiron. I really
enjoy winning football, but continue to find it difficult to justify
spending so much money on what is essentially an
extracurricular activity.
If we're going to compete for real with UT, A&M. and UH,
then let's do it with what we're known for, wise ideas. The
premise is very simple: offer a degree in professional football.
Players will be playing for a grade, and utilizing their non-game
time learning coaching, training, strategy, and most
importantly, contract negotiation. U.T. produces lots of players,
who often can't do thier own tax returns, much less their own
accounting. If we were to establish the necessary ground work
for the professional athlete as a career choice, perhaps our
recruiting, and possibly winning, woes would be at an end.
— Bev Blackwood
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THRESHING IT OUT
Sophs complain
about bad food
To the Editor:
We're sick. We're sick and tired
of being assaulted by every kind of
edible abomination that an
institution can force down our
throats. This year in particular,
after a $54 increase in board, a
reduction in the number of
students, and a much celebrated
recipe contest, the food is worse
than ever. We're only sophomores,
how can seniors eat this shit!
Consider the facts. Full board is
S877.50 per semester. Divided by
289 meals that translates into more
than $3.00 per meal. Acknowl-
edging that not everyone eats every
meal (remember we're including
bag lunches!) the true figure is
probably much higher per meal
served. And if you buy a limited
meal plan then you really gef
reamed (to the tune of almost $4.0t
per meal).
Why is the food at Rice I), so
horrendous? We have been offered
many explanations for this paucity
of quality. One frequent excuse
given is that food here isn't that
bad. that it is comparable to that of
other institutions of higher
education. That is bullshit (so was
tonight's dinner). We've had the
pleasure — yes. pleasure of
dining at other school's [sic]
cafeterias and personally can attest
to the infinite superiority of quality
of food elsewhere. Even friends
who visit us are quick to comment
on the inedibility of our food.
Of course, after advocates of
Rice's present system are told of
the better value other students earn
on their room and board dollar,
they quickly resort to blaming the
college system for many of the
present problems. Admittedly,
eight cafeterias are not the most
efficient way to feed the masses,
but other universities have similar
cafeteria to student ratios and they
can't (or shouldn't) be servihgsuch
slop. Perhaps the reason we receive
such poor food for our money is
not the system, but the system's
management and employees. Or
maybe it's because everything is
purchased pre-cooked, pre-sliced,
or pre-manufactured and then
shipped out frozen to central
kitchen where it is systematically
abused by uncaring employees.
Who knows? That's whv we're
writing. Everyone knows that
there are costly flaws in the present
food service system. The
administration could, and should
do a study of our system, compare
it to other school's [sic] systems,
consider changes (including the
possibility of a private contractor),
and take action now, before the
students of this school revolt and
throw smothered steak all over
President Hackerman and Joyce
Rubash.
Michael J. Reed
Steven D. Keirstead
Hanszen ^7
(hopefully, if we don't die of food
poisoning)
P.S. Obviously, if we were to
implement some changes things
would differ not only in the quality
of food, but in the way it was
served. Kitchen employees would
have to work. They also couldn't
yell at the unsuspecting student
(who pays part of their salaries)
who happened to take both an ice
cream bar and an apple. And
maybe, just maybe, we could enjoy
a meal.
Ask a grad over
for lunch today
To the Editor:
The article "Integrating the
Hedges" by Gerald Corcoran
brought up some true points about
the wall that exists between
graduate students and under-
graduates.
1 am a second-year graduate
student working for an M.S. in
Chemical Engineering. Since
coming to Rice, 1 have been
constantly amazed by the
prejudiced views that undergrads
have toward grad student [sic]. For
example, last spring I was at a Sid
Tower Party. The evening started
TRESHER
Paul Havlak
Editor
Todd A. Cornett
Business Manager
David Friesenhahn News Editor
Ian Neath Fine Arts Editor
Scott Snyder Sports Editor
Bev Blackwood Advertising Manager
Susan Buchanan, Pam Truzinski Photography Editors
Brandon Rigney Back Page Editor
Sarah Jordan Production Manager
Robyn Klahr Managing Editor
John Knapp Copy Editor
Mark M. Mitchell Senior Editor
Assistant Editors L. Gene Spears (Fine Arts); Tony Soltero, Steve Mollenkamp (Sports)
Contributing Editors ...v Duaine Pryor, Steve McLaughlin
Foreign Correspondents Tom Morgan, Melissa Cox, Harry Wade
News Staff Kimberlee Barrett, Paul Buenaflor, lan Davidson.
Suzanne Fitzpatrick. Robert Hess, Scheleen Johnson. Shao-lee Lin,
Jeff Michel. Keith Nickerson, Tibor Roberts, Jana Sanchez,
David Schnur, Catherine Shin, Cheryl Smith
Fine Arts Staff John Knapp, Sarah Jordan, Frances Egler,
Mike Voigt, Valerie Rohy, Karen Nickel. Carolyn Austin,
Marie Lawson, Wendy Sterba, Cheryl Smith, Carrie Blum,
Karin Murphy, Steven Spears. Erin Blair
Sports Staff - Ted Andrews, Warren Clyborne, Jim Colton.
Joey DiGregorio, Jay English, Kevin Gass, Andy Kopplin,
John l.ippert, Mark Matteson, Stephen McVea, David Schafer,
Antonio Torres, Ted Anders, Don Tomasco, Jr.
Photography Staff Mike Gladu. Diane Gilabert, Mike Cherubino,
Jill Goodman, Patrick Lynn, John Knapp, Art Rabeau,
Harold Turner, Kristi Isacksen, Tibor Roberts, Mike Voigt,
Franz Weller, Eric. Salituro
Graphics Mike Harshman, Scott Brooks, Dan Borden
Production Staff Rick Ary, Mary Ashkar, Elise Bauman, Bill Bcllis, Erin Blair,
Jennifer Corkill, Lisa Gray. David Hardy, Peggy Harris,
Stephanie Kozinski, Karin Murphy, Karen Nickel Margaret Pendergraf,
Valerie Rohy, Geoff Stafford. Kristen Swartwout
Business Staff
Assistant Business Manager Susan C. Brown Snook
Assistant Advertising Manager Crystal Davis
Advertising Production Assistant Ashley Stain back
Subscription Manager Kathi Fletcher
Student Staff Assistant Carlos Soltero
Circulation Sean Daichman. Howard Goldman, Mark Mitchell
The Rice Thresher, the official student newspaper at Rice University since 1916, is published
each Friday during the school year, except during examination periods and holidays, by the
students of Rice University. Editorial and business offices are located on the second floor of the
Rice Memorial Center. P.O. Box 1892, Houston, Texas 77251. Telephone (713)527-4801 or
527-4802. Advertising information available upon request. Mail subscription rate per semester:
SI 5.00 domestic. S30.00 international, (via first class mail). The opinions expressed herein are
not necessarily those of anyone except the writer. Obviously.
® 1984, The Rice Thresher. All rights reserved.
The Rice Thresher, October 26, 1984, page 2
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Havlak, Paul. The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 72, No. 10, Ed. 1 Friday, October 26, 1984, newspaper, October 26, 1984; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth245572/m1/2/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.