The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 75, No. 13, Ed. 1 Friday, November 20, 1987 Page: 20 of 20
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20 Friday, November 20,1987 The Rice THRESHER
— BIG, MACHO, MANLY MEN MISCLASS
Cthulhu for president* when you're
tired of the lesser of two evils.
***
New course: Spreads and Meats
(SPAM 209) will be offered on a pass-
fail basis only. Meats at 8 am, 11:30
am, and 6 pm in the colleges. Doesn't
fulfill distribution, but should be fill-
ing. Students in SPAM 209 should
also preregister for SPAM 214
(SPAM LAB).
***
Mr. Happy is looking for you.
***
It's too bad complex numbers have
such a bad reputation—they're regu-
lar people just like n and i.
He offered his honor. She honored his
offer. And all through the night, he
was honor and offer!
***
From the Daily Cougar classifieds:
The Daily Cougar cannot be respon-
sible for more than ihe first incorrect
insertion.
***
There was a young fellow from Sparta
A really magnificent farter.
On the strength of one bean
He'd fart God Save the Queen
And Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.
He could vary, with proper percus-
sion
His fart to suit any occasion.
He could fart like a flute
Like a lark, like a lute,
This highly fartistic Caucasian.
He'd fart a gavotte for a starter
And fizzle a fine serenata
He could play on his anus
The Coriolanus
Oof-boom, ertum, toode-hum, tah-
dah!
He was great in the Christmas Can-
tata
He could double-stop fart The Toc-
cata
He'd boom from his ass
Bach's B-minor Bass
And in counterpoint La Traviata.
Spurred on by a very high wager
With an envious German named
Bager
He'd proceeded to fart
The complete oboe part
Of the Haydn Octet in B-Major.
It went off it capital style
And he farted it through with a smile
Rubes®
Then feeling quite jolly
He tried the finale
Blowing double-stopped farts all the
while.
The selection was tough, I admit
But it did not dismay him one bit
Then, with ass thrown aloft
He suddenly coughed
And collapsed in a shower of shit
***
Guidelines for misclass submissions:
•They have to be in by 5 pm Monday
•No real names or phone numbers.
•They cannot in any way pertain to
small furry rodents.
•Racial slurs are frowned upon. Se-
verely. Use Aggies instead.
•They should have some redeeming
humor, instead of simply using the
word "fuck".
•And, after this week, no more men
are better, women are belter, or
sidget misclass.
Remember, the misclass is what you
make it.—jab, bpe.
***
A couple of final blows:
Heard from a Brown girl: "The cham-
pagne bottle was better than the
champagne!"
Heard from a Sid guy: the same thing.
***
Definition of a Sidget: an attachment
that you screw on the bed and the
laundry.
***
Some reasons why other women are
better than men:
Women are not dicks.
Women are experts on how to make a
woman come.
Women can't get each other pregnant.
Women can go all night long.
Women don't want to fuck you up the
ass.
Women will go shopping with you
(and enjoy it!)
***
Looks like Will Rice will remain an
independent college—sorry to
dampen your spirits, Lovett.
••••LAST HAMSTER AD
1 or 2 roommates wanted for second
bedroom in a 2 br, 2 b condo 2 miles
from Rice. Washer/dryer, micro-
wave, cable, VCR, MAC 512, pool,
and security. Nonsmoker preferred.
Call 795-5212.
By Leigh Rubin
Tell me, why is it that every time we sit down for dinner your
mother drops in?"
—BLEACHED ADS-
Free room and board in exchange
for babysitting several weekday
nights and Saturday morning. Senior
or graduate student, non-smoker
female required. Three children (ages
7,4 &1), garage efficency in Fondren
Southwest Call 772-7002.
***
Architecture and design lovers! Six
Stow & Davis contemporary Triangle
aim chairs. Natural oak, upholstered
backs and seats. Three need repair,
Suggested 1987 retail $300+ each!
Must sell! $75 each if you take all six!
Call 461-2179, leave message.
***
Free room and board in exchange
for part-time babysitting in South-
west Houston. Call 721-7551.
***
Top Talent has your job! Assign-
ments include clerks, typists, hosts,
hostesses, couriers, inventory and
much more. We can put you to work
now! Top pay! Never a fee! Call 941-
0616 today! Top Talent Temporaries.
***
We do alterations of all garments.
Clothing design and manufacturing
for men, women, and children. Re-
productions, simple or complex. For-
mal wear, etc. Fast service. Reason-
able rates and 10% discounts offered.
M.D.C. Enterprises, 668-7824.
***
Funds, student loans- college or
vocational school. No age, credit or
income limit. Maximum loan avail-
able to qualified applicants: $54,750.
Interest free while in school. 10 years
to repay after graduation. Call 353-
3380 for further information.
***
Rock-climbing gear: never used.
165 ft. 11 mm. rope, fire shoes, all
hex, some stoppers, some wires, ruck-
sack, 150 ft. 11 mm. mammoL All for
$135. Leave message 663-6373.
***
Bankruptcy sale: Classy stereo
components; Harmon Kardon re-
ceiver, cassette deck, CD player.
Technics computerized equalizer,
CD player, Bose speakers, Celestion
speakers, Cerwin Vega sub woofer,
more, Value over $3000. Sell $1700.
Leave message 663-6373.
***
Hey, you need money? If you are
available from 5:30-9pm Mon-Fri, an
articulate speaker knd possess a
"great" attitude, we want you for the
best telemarketing fund raiser in
Houston. Mr. Randolph 952-0617.
***
For sale: 1986 Honda Elite Scooter.
80 cc engine. Very good condition,
reliable, red body. Asking $600 in-
cluding basket & helmet. Call Eliza-
beth at 526-1563 or come by Ander-
son Hall rm. 143 anytime.
***
Household near University needs
part-time handyman for repairs,
painting, maintenance, cleaning, etc.
around home. $6/hour to qualified
person. Call Kathryn at 651-1133 for
appointment.
***
Enjoy garden apartment living at
3910 McDuffe. Pool, balcony or
patio, landscaped courtyard with gas
grill. Small, friendly complex. Con-
venient Montrose location. $250/
$350 plus electric. Save $50 off your
first month's rent! Call 923-2480.
***
Join other Rice students who reside
at Jackson Park Apartments! 5 min-
utes from Rice University. Totally
updated one b/r apts- art deco exte-
rior, hi tech interiors- gray carpeting,
ceiling fans, mini blinds, on-site laun-
dry, telephone entry systems, $275-
$320. Call 528-1110 for appointment
THINGS WE ARE THANKFUL FOR CALENDAR
November
Fri20
Sat 21
Sun 22
Mon 23
Tue 24
Wed 25
Thu 26
•91/2 Weeks at Chem Lec, 7,9 & 11, $1. Don't miss it.
•Plays: Baker/Jones,The Three Sisters, at Jones, 8 pm;
Rice Players, Jacques and his Master, Hamman Hall, 8
pm.; Brown, Egad, What a Cad! and The Great
Western Melodrama at Brown 8 pm Be cultural and
see one of these.
•Brown/Jones TG.
•Media Center flicks: Pygmalion, 7:30, andThe
Importance of Being Earnest, 9:15.
•BSU party, 10 pm, Lyle's, $1.
•Closing night—make those reservations now: The
Three Sisters, 8 pm, Jones; Jacques and his Master, 8
pm, Hamman Hall.; Melodramas at Brown, 8 pm
•Media Center film, L'Argent, 7:30 & 9:30, $3.
•Wiess film, Strange Brew, Chem Lec, etc.
•Media Center film, L'Argent, 7:30.
•Sewall Hall Exhibit, "Cavalieri e Draghi", 12-5 pm,
Sewall Hall Gallery.
•Male bonding night at the Pub. Have a brew with the
Monday Night Football crew.
•Campanile Orchestra concert, Hamman Hall, 8 pm.
•Held over!! My Life as a Dog, at the Bel Air Theatre,
5:15, 7:15, 9:15. Its days are numbered, however, so
don't waste time.
•Mexican night at the Pub. Ole!
•At the Bel Air: The Cure in Orange (concert film), 5
pm, 7:15, and 9:30.
•Almost Thanksgiving—sign up for sack lunches today.
•Last chance to catch "Cavalieri e Draghi" at the Sewall
Gallery, 12-5 pm, through
today.
•At the River Oaks: Hell, Hell, Rock and Roll, a Chuck
Berry film, or something, at 5, 7:30 and 10 pm.
•Don't forget your sack lunch.
•Only one more shopping month til Christmas. Beat the
rush.
•Have you found a turkey yet (or did you take one to
Esperanza)?
•Thanksgiving! Be thankful we don't have class today.
•Have a good break—love, the bpe's.
•BETTER DEAD THAN A MAN N&N
GALOR, Gays and Lesbians of
Rice, will hold a meeting Sun. 11/22
@ 4pm. For more ilnformation, call
Don at 630-0247. Also, there will be
a women's potluch tonight @ 7:30.
For more information, call Nancy at
522-0910.
***
O.W.L.S. meeting tonight at 5:45.
Meet in the Will Rice Commons.
***
Lost at Esperanza: 1 pierced earring
with pearls and diamonds. Great sen-
timental value. Reward. Call Rose at
630-8007
*♦*
All Internationals are invited to a
Thanksgiving Dinner, Sun. Nov. 22 at
5:30pm. Sponsored by the Baptist
Student Union. For more information
call 790-0279:
Financial aid for 1988-89: Forms are
now available in the Financial Aid
Office, 201 Lovett Hall. Final dead-
line for filing forms is June 1, 1988.
***
Architecture for non-architects.
Arch 308b-limited enrollment course
open to all undergraduate levels and
majors-Mondays from 7-10pm. If
interested, please submlit a brief one
paragraph statement by 1pm, Mon-
day, Nov. 30 to Prof. Casbarian.
***
Lost:Blue key ring with 2 metal
rings. Last seen in Allen Center Lot
on 11/7/87. Call Mike Morris at 630-
9164 or leave message in Hanszen
office. Reward. No questions asked.
***
The Black Students' Union will
sponsor the BSU Big Party, Saturday,
Nov. 21, 10pm, in Lyle's, the Lovett
basement, $1. Everyone's invited.
Foreign Policy Magazine in Wash-
ington, DC offers internships (un-
paid) to interested students. The dead-
line for the Winter/Spring program is
November 30. More information is
available in the Office of Student
Advising, Ley Student Center.
***
Artist(s) needed to paint a small
mural of "St George and the Dragon"
for neighborhood church fair. Food
and other benefits provided, includ-
ing all supplies. Call 661-4825 for
details.
***
KTRU News is coming back in
Spring 1988! Students are needed to
fill News Reporter and Announcer
positions. Orientation meeting Mon-
day 11/23 @ 7pm at the KTRU Stu-
dios. No experience necesssary. For
more information, call 795-5766 or
drop by KTRU on Sunday afternoons.
***
Campus Crusade for Christ meets
Friday evenings at 7pm inSewall309.
***
History distribution courses: In
spite of what the Course Schedule and
Addendum might say, all regularly
scheduled History courses are distri-
bution courses.
***
Volunteers needed for urinary tract
infection study. West Houston Medi-
cal Center is now enrolling volun-
teers. Qualified volunteers will re-
ceive medicine and lab tests at no
cost. For your first appointment call
558-6915 between 9am and 2pm,
Mon., Wed., and Fri.
<■**
Inter Faith Thanksgiving Service, 5
pm, Nov. 23, Rice Chapel. Sponsored
by Joint Campus Ministry
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Raphael, Michael J. The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 75, No. 13, Ed. 1 Friday, November 20, 1987, newspaper, November 20, 1987; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth245679/m1/20/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.