The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 81, No. 18, Ed. 1 Friday, February 4, 1994 Page: 2 of 16
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2 FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 4, 1994 THE RICE THRESHER
OPINION
Pub Ekes
Pub solutions could lead to numerous
beneficial options for Student Center
The nearing decision on the future of the Pub offers the
university an opportunity to solve not only Pub problems, but to
alleviate some of the other current shortcomings in student life.
Specifically, the Pub could be restructured to provide students
with more choices in the setting and quality of their meals.
The Pub has already made strides toward diversifying its
offerings and schedule. The addition of lunchtime service, for
example, has provided an attractive alternative to the colleges and
Sammy's. This service could be made more profitable if students
were allowed to pay for this fare with their meal cards.
Opening up the space during afternoons and early evenings as
a lounge would also help both the Pub's balance sheet and
students looking for a place to hang out and munch. Currently,
only a few snacks are available from the CoffeeHouse, the pricy
bookstore and campus vending machines. Making Willy's food
service available around the clock would be ahuge step, lessening
student reliance on vending machines and off-campus restau-
rants.
Obviously, any decrease in the area's distributive charges
would be a boon to the Pub and its customers. Whether it is really
necessary to build gates around the bar and create a physical
division is debatable. Waiving of the distributive charges without
structural changes to the Pub would be a superior option.
But if serious redesign is being considered for the Student
Center basement it might be worthwhile to envision a grander
scheme. Perhaps moving the MOB out of the area and renovating
the whole floor would create space for the private—but meal-plan
compatible — food court, including the Pub, that many see as the
campus' salva-
tion from the
limited avail-
ability and low
quality of uni-
versity-sup-
plied food.
Opportuni-
ties to reshape
any aspects of
the university only come along infrequently. The university, the
Pub and students should seize this chance to turn Willy's ills into
improvements in the Student Center and in students' lives.
pinionS
T The a | a J t «ncc i i
Rice fnresher
Peter Howley, Kraettli Epperson
Editors-in-Chief
Shane A. Speciale
Business Manager
Melissa Williams
Sei Chong
David Hale
Vivek Rao
Jeremy Bogaisky
Joanna Winters
Christof Spieler
Tony Tran
Grant Flowers
Michael Gomez
Rachel Domhelm
Amy Jeter
Eric Stotts
Monica Weinheimer
Kevin Mistry
Charles Klein
Haley S. Robertson
Kathy CTSteen
News Editor
Asst. News Editor
Opinion Editor
Asst. Opinion Editor
Arts & Entertainment Editor
Asst Arts & Entertainment Editor
Asst. Arts & Entertainment Editor
Sports Editor
Asst. Sports Editor
Asst Sports Editor
Features Editor
Asst Features Editor
Backpage Editor
Photography Editor
Production Manager
Asst Production Manager
Ads Manager
Asst Business Manager
The Rice Thresher, the official student newspaper at Rice University
since 1916, is published each Friday during the schoolyear, except during
examination periods and holidays, by the students of Rice University.
Editorial and business offices are located on the second floor of the Ley
Student Center, P.O. Box 1892, Houston, Texas, 77251. Phone 527-4801.
e-mail; thresher@ricevmljnce.edu. Advertising information available on
request Mail subscription rate per semester $20.00 domestic, $40.00
international via first class maiL Non-subscription rate: first copy free,
second copy $1.00.
Unsigned editorials represent the majority opinion of the Thresher
Editorial Staff. All other pieces represent solely the opinion of the author.
Obviously. © COPYRIGHT 1994
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AgKSST!
Snow brings unexpected distraction
Chris
Thomas
Unbelievable as most of you found
the idea last week, afterTuesday, none
can doubt the fact of snowin Houston.
It is an event that happens rarely
enough; freshmen hear stories from
upperclassmen of extremes in inclem-
ent weather. Most dismiss the snow
stories as tall tales. Never do you hear
anybody recall ever having witnessed
snow in Houston twice.
And, oh, the stories they tell
Some freshmen that grew up in
the South asked me what the white
flaky stuff was. "Snow", I replied.
EDGE
"Snow? What's that?"
Things are so topsy-turvy nowa-
days. Witness the armchair environ-
mentalist standing under the arcade
in front of Fondren Library, afraid to
walk out into the snow. It seems that
she was completely unfamiliar with
the stuff. She had convinced herself
that it was some sort of flaky residue of
a highly polluting industrial process.
President Gillis considered clos-
ing the school on account of hazard-
ous blizzard conditions, but cancelled
the cancellation at the last minute on
account of HIS ability to commute
safely from work; figuring that every-
body else would have the same ease of
travel. Unfortunately, most drivers
had forgotten to put the tire chains in
their trunks for today. Additionally,
the lateness ofthe attack left the Hous-
ton Snowplow Division surprised.
They were still trying to figure out
how a snowplow works.
Myself, I decided to take advan-
tage of the conditions to frolic about
Snow for me is something to enjoy. I
don't enjoy shovelling snow. Neither
do I enjoy scraping car windows.
Working in a snowy environment is so
difficult for me that I try not to do
work, or try to work where there is no
snow to get in my way.
So I took the day off.
I built a pile of snowballs to pelt
pedestrians as they strolled below my
perch on the balcony of Butcher Hall.
(Didn'tknowaboutthebalcony? Find
out before YOU get hit with snowy
spheres.) Later, some friends and I
gathered together carrots, twigs, and
coal to build an army of snowmen.
Most of them were camouflaged,
though, so you couldn't really see
them
Somewhere toward dusk, we got
the idea to go sledding, but found
ourselves left out, realizing that Hous-
ton has no hills upon upon which to
sled.
Fortunately, though, I came to the
rescue and taught everybody a favor-
ite winter sport of mine from back
home. When we got bored in Omaha,
we had nothing to do but watch cable
TV and amuse ourselves. Since my
mom never believed in cable, I was left
to my own devices.
We invented a little pastime called
"hood surfing'. It was easy to play:
take one car, remove the hood and tie
it upside down to the rear bumper.
Willing participants stood on top of
the hood as somebody drove the car
through a snow-filled parking lot or
side street The fun really started
' Somewhere toward
dusk, we got the idea to go
sledding but found
ourselves left out, realizing
that Houston has no hills
upon upon which to sled. y
when the turns started getting wild,
the cops showed up, or some wise-
guy driver decided to see how bad
conditions of the interstate were that
warranted closing it
You get the drift
I came to Rice four years ago envi-
sioning a blissful paradise free from
snow. I guess that I expected too much.
Next time I'll do better. Does anybody
know about the strength ofthe gradu-
ate program at the University of Ha-
waii?
Chris Thomas is a Sid Richardson
College senior.
The truth: it is just gibberish at the end
Jym
Schwartz
Once again, I have perpetrated a
travesty so clever, so unique, so intri-
cate that not only have I fooled you
readers, but also my editors and even
myself. Were it not for one brave
womyn, Cecily Young, this mockery
ANY
ofthe Latin language might have gone
on for years. Fortunately for all par-
ties involved, I have been set straight
... but I'm getting ahead of the story,
and there are many column inches to
fill.
Many of you may have gotten the
impression that I am some kind of
Latin scholar, as I end my column
every week with a snappy italicized
phrase. Well, first of all (Stop... Con-
fession Time!), that concept is one I
"borrowed" (Writers never steal;
Shakespeare, for example, was a very
heavy borrower of plots) from the
Great Hunter S. Thompson, who oc-
casionally ends his works with Res
Ipsa Loquitor (the thing speaks for
itself).
I have always considered this
strange, since if the thing spoke for
itself, there would be no need to write
anything.
However, even the Great Ones
need to eat on occasion, and I myself
am guilty of purchasing more than
one meal with my ill-gotten, word-
slinging wealth (five bucks a week).
Considering this, and that one non-
gender specific individual's "obvious"
is another one's "you mean this hair-
cut looks stupid?!", I would nevercon-
sider any topic too self-explanatory to
warrant another five clams (ker-
ching!).
At any rate, I seem to have di-
gressed from my original plea of igno-
rance with intent to deceive. As I was
saying, I do not speak, write, read or in
any way comprehend Latin, nor do I
know anything about the people who
once spoke it long ago. I once knew
enough about those Roman folk to
write an essay for some distribution
class I took, but those brain cells have
since been reassigned or lost to the
war on drugs. (They were weak brain
cells anyway; I got a C- on the test)
Therefore, I was forced to turn to a
friend whom we shall call Rollo (al-
though his real name is Curt Cutting
' The phrase "Sinite
Vona Tempores
Volvere" is, as it turns
out, essentially gibberish. *
and he attends the University of Puget
Sound Law School in Tacoma, Wash-
ington). Rollo, who had lived through
four years of high school Latin in a
semi-conscious state, promised me a
translation of the phrase I had in mind.
Afew weeks later I found agarbled
message on my machine which I took
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Howley, Peter & Epperson, Kraettli. The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 81, No. 18, Ed. 1 Friday, February 4, 1994, newspaper, February 4, 1994; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth245897/m1/2/: accessed June 21, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.