The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 84, No. 14, Ed. 1 Friday, January 17, 1997 Page: 16 of 16
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1$ FRIDAY. JANUARY 17, 1997
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eview and trailer lor the movie
e Jack kick a
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butt*
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TOO ICY FOR DEADLINES
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WKNT to
Evening Star av
To be more precise,
kicking and sen
friend and- Nil -i
Omaha. Neb. AMC theater where
was charged $7.50 be-
cause the high school
dropout behind the
counter had never heard
ol Rice I University and thus
refused to give me the stu
dent discount.
That encounter marked
the beginningofwhat was
to become the worst pride-
swallowing, tortuous and
otherwise painful movie-
going experience of my
short life. I jmi writing
I his backpage not as a fair,
even-handed review oi the movie,
but rather as a warning to fellow
students who might be considering
entering the same circle of bell that
I wandered into thai fateful day.
In my own defense. I would like
to present the three reasons that I
went to the movie rather than en-
gage iri an equally enjoyable activ-
ity, like, say, jabbing myself in the
eye with a lurk;
1) The Rice/Houston factor. As
many of you know, part of the movie
w;is -hot on the Rice campus, and
many Rice students were used as
extra- in the movie.
2) The jack Nicholson factor.
Nicholson was in Term a ojEn dear-
Hunt, the film to which The Evening
Star is a sequel | can't say that I
actually saw the first film, but I fig-
ured he was slamming axes into
people's skulls jnsf like in '/'he Shin-
ing. Nicholson was shown in every
tiny
>re, at least a
of free will was
involved in my getting to
the theater. If I knew what
I know now. j probably
would have stayed in bed
during the weeks the
time for a student at this ur
|| She appeared to wake u
morning, have a little < I
muny boyfriend, get i
th #r granpna, and j
She did zer
counselor for some
other. Then, because
uredthat no one woi
theater after the first
ceeds to sleep with
thing weirdo. Now
or an-
ters fig-
in the
she pro-
some-
don't get me
Chuck
W HITFEN
BACKPAGE
EDITOR
zero studying as far as I could tell. It
was pretty funny to-hear Shirley
MacLaine's character exclaim at one
point, "Do you know how much Rice
University costs?" But for the most
part, lxwis was not your average
movie played at thej^ters Rice scholar, even if she was an
playing with my 'Tickle academ. I^ewis eventually dropped
Me Klmo" doll and order- out "of Rice and became a star on a
ing wallpaper from the television sitcom. I'm not even go-
Home Shopping Net- ing to guess about what the moral to
work. But go to the film I that story is, but it may offer some
did, and I hope that my hope to any economics majors out
experience will dissuade there.
anyone considering wasting their
precious youth by seeing or renting
this film.
The Rice Respite
-p i ' , ' h " ' if ' _1 -i ■> tj - n l i 5:
Rice appeared at the very,begin
ning of the film and was the only
exciting part of the movie as far as I
am concerned. The problem was
the Rice part was less than one
minute of the film My advice to
those of you who wish to see your
friends and university on the big
screen is to leave the second tile
scene.is over. Make sure you don't
reach under your seat to grab a
Twixzler or you might miss if.
My biggest complaint with Rice's
depiction in the movie was the inac-
curate portrayal of the lifestyle led
by Rice students. Julliette Lewis
played the Rice student, and let me
sav that she had wav too much frPe
Grandma Gets Busy
After the Rice scene, nothing re-
ally interesting happened. Most mov-
ies rely on the basic components of
plot. theme and characterization to
tell a story of interest, but The
Evening Star did not fall into that
tired old trap. Instead, characters
seemed to appear, engage in a few
boring misadventures and then die,
Personally, if 1 socialized with these
people I'd probably die from bore-
dom too. I'm sure that this movie
will be (lie thrill-a-minutedate movie
of the year in nursing homes all over
the country, but for anyone who
didn't recieve a partial lobotomy
from Santa this year, the movie will
put you to sleep.
The movie took a horrifying turn
about midway through when
MacLaine's character werit to see a
wrong, grandmas have,the right to
engage in promiscuous behavior
anytime they want to. but I for one
am just sickened by the loose mor-
als displayed by that generation.
Also, the thought of grandmas in
America hitting the town, to troll for
a little action was enough to make
me want to hide under my chair.
As the movie dragged on,t rams
catches her lover boy sleeping with
a family frienrl, and 1 assumed the
worst was over. But the writers fig-
ured, "Let's kick Chuck while he
lies bleeding on the ground," and
had MacLaine meet her therapist's,
mother. Needless to say, the.two
were identical, and the Oedipus fac-
tor drove me to flee from my seat.
"What kind of Gulag am 1 in?" I
screamed and left the theater for an
extended bathroom break. When I
returned, there were no more scenes
of grandmas having sex, but it was
too late. My youthful innocence had
already been ripped away from me
by this terrible motion picture, and
if anyone now needs a t herapist , it's
me.
Nicholson Fails Me
The movie then proceeded along
its path of boredom. 1 wasn't wear-
ing a watch, but I estimate that the
picture runs about 16 hours. At
times, I'd try to amuse myself by
seeing how many Dots I could eat in
a minute without throwing up. I soon
became delirious with boredom j
began inserting what 1 believe
be witty comments during
moments in themovie. For im
when MacLaine's neighbor kicks it
and heads for the big motion picture
in the sky, her husband brings her
ashes over, Saying, "I just didn't
know what to do with her." I then
screamed out, "So we're going to eat
her!" I was quickly told that my com-
ments were inappropriate, and!shut
up.
Finally, Jack Nicholson appeared.
Surely, he would save this motion
picture! I figured that Jack would
tell that floozy of a grandma what he
thought of her, and bury a few hatch-
ets in peoples head along the way,
Nicholson did no such thing, in-
stead, he made like Rice University
and minimized his time in the movie
altogether. In the btfief moments he
was on screen, he and Macl-aine
blathered about things that I no
longer could follow. 1 laid my head
down and begged God to make the
movie stop.
If I could be quoted in an adver-
tisement for the film, I'd hope it
would read something like/This film
is like being flogged with steel whips
dipped in acid." I fear that Rice's
appearance in such a bad motion
picture might hurt its chances for
, roles in other movies, but I'm confi-
dent that our school can pick itself
up and strive for bigger and better
roles, even if we did appear in the
worst film of the century. Maybe if
we're lucky, Beavis and Butthead
will have a sequel.
Chuck Wh it ten is a BVess College
sophomore and a Libra,
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Beard, M. Margaret & Rao, Vivek. The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 84, No. 14, Ed. 1 Friday, January 17, 1997, newspaper, January 17, 1997; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth246556/m1/16/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.