The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 87, No. 11, Ed. 1 Friday, November 19, 1999 Page: 3 of 24
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THE RICE THRESHER OPINION FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 1999
Try this emperor's clothes
We're serious about sarcasm
Sarcasm keeps conventional wisdom honest
The intellectual combat of our
post-Cold War culture no longer fa-
vors sarcasm in so-called respon-
sible expression. But before the bat-
tered discipline departs
permanently from public-
discussion, I would like
to offer a deferfse.
Much of sarcasm's re-
cently acquired poor
reputation originates in
definitions, so by way of
radical simplification, I
will say only that sarcasm
is a lit«rary convention
combining the caustic
and ironic to poke fun at
the object of its scorn.
Sarcasm done well aspires to sat-
ire, that is, effective criticism, and
sarcasm done superbly well actually
achieves this feat. But sarcasm done
poorly aims not for true satire but
only for a cheap laugh, most often
through nihilistic flippancy.
Unfortunately, that unhealthy
motive provides sarcasm's critics an
easy target, enabling them to label
all sarcasm and satire as nihilistic
flippancy. But that's judging it by its
worst manifestations. Instead, we
should explore sarcasm's benefits.
Sarcasm's basic attraction, of
course, is its humor. Another defini-
tion will help here. I opt for the quick
and dirty one from my sociology
text (John J. Macionis' Sociology):
"Humor is a product of reality con-
struction; specifically, it stems from
the contrast between two, very dif-
ferent realities.
"Generally, one reality is conven-
tional, corresponding to what people
expect in a specific situation. TTie
other reality is unconventional, rep-
resenting a significant violation of
cultural patterns."
James
Dallal
Of course, the bulk of sarcasm
will be utterly harmless, since most
combinations of the conventional
and unconventional, especially when
formed by poor practitio-
ners, can be dismissed as
inaccurate.
But when a capable
practitioner combines el-
ements of the conven-
tional and unconventional
to create a view of reality
more accurate than that
pre-existing in the conven-
tional wisdom, people
take notice, because cre-
ating a new, more accu-
rate view of reality is a
reasonable definition for what good
writing should try to accomplish.
Joseph Heller's Catch-22 is a clas-
sic example. Heller's book, which
gained popularity during our long
sojourn in Vietnam, employed sus-
pended irony to cast our role in
World War II in a freshly negative
light. Heller faced denigration both
for his argument and for his ap-
proach. Many of his adversaries even
claimed that the amorality of his
text rendered it "unintelligible."
The other reality is
unconventional.'
To be sure, it was unintelligible
to them. Heller's irony had changed
the rules by producing what was
essentially a new language — one
that only the dissident could under-
stand.
And that made those in power
uncomfortable. The dominant
groups, who ordinarily monopolize
the dominant canon, could no longer
ensure that their views wou Id spread
throughout our institutions.
These responses demonstrate
that, fundamentally, sarcasm is
driven by class conflict, by an intel-
lectual assault leveled against power.
That is why our elites have al-
ways favored safe, "high" culture.
And why art is usually allied with
dissidence. Consider for a moment
how the mainstream of politics and
culture approaches dissident cul-
tural offerings from graffiti artists,
rappers or maverick journalists.
Nevertheless, today's post-Marx-
ists assume that sarcasm and other
dissident forms of expression are
out-of-date because the passing of
the Soviet Union marked the end of
organized class conflict.
Democracy is in, they say, so
let's talk on terms we can all under-
stand. But that view neglects satire's
most important role: reclaiming
rhetoric that has been co-opted for
the service of evil. When there is a
significant distance between rheto-
ric and action, as there was in Viet-
nam, we must expose it.
If we abandon the fight, then we
allow those in power to entrench
distortion firmly in the conventional
wisdom. We also become complicit
in that wisdom, and therefore pow-
erless to change it.
In sum, the satiric tradition, its
clunky history notwithstanding, is
too important a weapon to be dis-
carded altogether. We simply need
to remember to keep our sarcasm
sheathed until we need it.
James Dallal is opinion editor and a
Lovett College sophomore. He can be
reached at jdalfal@rice.edu.
Sarcasm makes everything Junner and better
The idea that sarcasm cannot your work; you only want someone
function as a meaningful and insight- wno agrees with your ideas 100 per-
ful mode of communication is igno-. ^cent to read your arguments.
rant, Marxist and absurd.
In truth, sarcasm is the
highest, the noblest and
the bestest form of writ
that was ever wrote. Sar-
casm outperforms all
other methods of writing
in test after test. Four out
of five dentists agree that
sarcasm is the way to go,
and the .fifth dentist is
missing three teeth and
has a terrible overbite.
In *hort, no matter
what you're writing, you
should always use sarcasm because
it's more accurate, more friendly,
more sensitive and, doggone it, it
just makes you sound more smart.
Gordon
Wittick
Four out of five dentists
agree that sarcasm is
the way to go.
Like I just said, sarcasm is fa-
mous for its accuracy. When Nobel
Laureate Richard Smalley published
his observations on the various prop-
erties of bflckminsterfullerene, he
used sarcasm in the lab .notebook.
If you just say something straight-
out non-sarcastically, nobody knows
what you mean. But, if you say some-
thing that you don't mean and add
plenty of hyperbole, then your mean-
ing becomes perfectly and abun-
dantly clear.
And sarcasm fosters the perfect
relationship between writer and
reader. Let's say, for example, that
you've written something and a
reader disagrees with one of your
points. No w^, obviously you don't
want that kind of person reading
If you had written your piece non-
sarcastically, by simply
stating what you believed
in a clear and logical man-
ner, then that reader
might have continued
reading and actually
agreed with some of your
points.
But, luckily, you wrote
with sarcasm. Sarcasm
creates such an aura of
arrogance and antago-
nism that a reader can't
help but walk away if she
disagrees with the smallest idea.
Congratulations!
Plus, sarcasm treats any issue
with optimum sensitivity. Let's say
you're writing about something po-
tentially offensive; school shootings,
racial issues or something like that.
If you just wrote about them plainly
and truthfully, you'd depress and
shock people with such a harsh re-
telling of reality.
"But sarcasm makes a joke out of
the issue, and everyone likes jokes.
That's a much nicer way to say
things. Just remember that a spoon-
ful of sarcasm makes the medicine
go down in the mo^t delightful way.
But the best reason to use' sar-
casm is that it just makes you sound
smarter. When you write something
non-sarcastically, all you mean is
what you say, and that's not much at
all. But, when you write with sar-
casm, you mean everything that you
don't say, and that's quite a lot in-
deed.
You can Sfce now that sarcasm is
the perfect form of expression for
any occasion. It lends an air of depth
and urbanity to even the most lack-, v
luster collection of phrases. That's
why all the greatest works of litera-
ture were written sarcastically, like
the first words of the Bible: "In the
beginning, God created the heav-
ens and the Earth. And it was good.
Real good. Yeah. Way to go, God."
Or who could forget the Gettysburg
Address? "Four score and seven
years ago, shit happened. The other
day, shit happened again. Eh,
whatcha gonna do?"
So, there it is. Proof that any col-
umn can be made better with sar-
casm. And if you don't have a col-
umn to begin with, just write sar-
casm and it will be even better. Too
often too much column gets in the
way of good sarcasm.
Gordon Wittick is opinion editor and
a Hanszen College junior.
Guest column
Irresponsible drug policies
hurt people who need help
Everyone in America has
been involved in some way with
the war on drugs. But few people
are as involved as one mother
who lost her son to
drugs.
Imagine you are a
parent whose child
died of a heroin over-
dose. What would your
first reaction be? Prob-
ably to try to make sure
that no other children
will ever be able to get
their hands on heroin
so no other children
will die.
I attended the Hous-
ton Drug Policy Educational Fo-
rum and Memorial on Oct. 24. Its
purpose was to explore the drug
war's impact on children and
families. There I learned how one
mother, Jennifer Daley, dealt
with the loss of her son to drugs.
Jared Ryan Jackson Lowry
died on Oct. 24, 1997 from a
heroin overdose. Sadly, he could
have been alive today if his friends
hadn't been too afraid of pros-
ecution to take him to the hospi-
tal. In the three hours it took
those kids to decide what to do,
Jared died.
The beginning of Jared's ad-
diction was complicated, but ba-
sically he was a teen who
thought he could experiment
with heroin without becoming
addicted. Jar«d lacked the edu-
cation to know how dangerous
experimenting with heroin is. He
learned the hard way that life
with heroin was not what he what
he wanted, and soon sought help.
Parents need the
same drug education
as their children.
Things became more complex
when Jared's family insurance
didn't cover the rehabilitation
program he needed. Determined
to change his life, Jared moved
to Austiu with a resolution to quit
on his own. Unfortunately, heroin
addiction is physical; kicking the
habit is not a matter of will.
Jennifer Daley now works with
several organizations to change
drug policy. 'Hie drug forum at
Houston Community College was
one event she helped organize. A
panel of doctors and professors
discussed needed changes in U.S.
drug policy.
Youth education is
the place to start. Drug
A^se Resistance Edu-
caTion, the national
campaign for drug
education, is not do-
ing its job. With a fo-
cus on the judicial con-
sequences of drug use
and a mantra of "Just
say no," D.A.R.E. ne-
glects the most impor-
tantaspectofdrugedu-
cation: the physical ef-
fects of each substance. Children
are taught only that all drugs are
"bad."
When they try a relatively
harmless substance like mari-
juana, their drug education btv.
comes invalidated. The one joint
they smoke doesn't kill them,
doesn't cause a seizure, but in-
stead causes a strange, pleasur-
able buzz. The child then thinks,
"Hey, if marijuana didn't hurt me,
why would cocaine or heroin?"
Television commercials en-
courage parents to talk to their
kids about drugs, which is a great
message, but many parents don't
know what KT say. Parents need
the same drug education as their
children.
Beyond education is the need
for adequate rehabilitation. Ac-
cording to the June 1999 issue of
Redbook, the average annual cost
to incarcerate one addict is
$25,900, while the annual cost to
provide long-term residential
treatment is $6,800. But instead
of spending money to rehabili-
tate addicts, the government
spends money on incarceration.
Finally, drug addiction needs
to be regarded as a health issue.
Needle-exchange programs to
prevent the spread of HlV and
other infections are greatly
needed. People should not be
afraid to seek medical attention
when a drug emergency occurs.
Drugs like heroin and cocaine
are not going away. As long as
there is a demand, a supply will
be found. U.S. drug policy is un-
realistic for trying to get rid of
drugs. The attention should be
focused on decreasing the dam-
age that drug addiction can cause.
Jen Hitt is a Hanszen College
the Rice Thresher
Jett McAlister, Mariel Tam
lulii;rs in Chief
Brian Stolcr
Senior Editor
NEWS
Elizabeth Jardina, Editor
[.eslie Liu, Editor
Ben Weston, Features Editor
OPINION
James Dallal, Editor
Gordon Wittick, Editor
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
Kay Chang, Editor
Michelle Tham, Page Designer
LIFESTYLES
Riki Conrey, Editor
David Chien, Illustrator
«
BACKPAGE
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Business Manager
SPORTS
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COPY
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PHOTOGRAPHY
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In case you can't tell, I'm being sarcastic.
© COPYRIGHT 1999.
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McAlister, Jett & Tam, Mariel. The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 87, No. 11, Ed. 1 Friday, November 19, 1999, newspaper, November 19, 1999; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth246662/m1/3/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.