The Fort Hood Sentinel (Temple, Tex.), Vol. 42, No. 21, Ed. 1 Thursday, September 29, 1983 Page: 5 of 32
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Phone
526-5961
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Darn! An obscene phone call! Unfortunately in our society today we have
a number of disturbed people who get their kicks from making such calls.
Fort Hood is not immune to this problem.
If an obscene phone call happens to you the following suggestions are
provided for your information and use.
HANG UP! If you receive an obscene or harassing phone call hang up
immediately!
Do not try to match wits with the caller. Don’t prolong the conversation. If
the problem does not go away and you continue to get obscene phone calls
report this to the Military Police at 287-2176.
You do not have to put up with calls of this nature. Do not attempt to blow
a whistle or other shrill device into the phone to “get even” with the caller.
The next time the phone rings it may be your husband friend or other
member of your family and you will hurt them.
Also there have been some cases where soon after the victim of an
obscene phone call has used a shrill whistle in the phone the caller returned
the “favor” with an equally shrill and potentially harmful blast into the
victim’s eardrum.
Again if you get an obscene phone call hang up. Don’t say anything.
When you receive an obscene phone call keep track of the day and time of
the call. Try to determine the sex of the caller and anything else that might
identify the caller at a later date.
Get in the habit of answering the phone with a simple “hello.” It is not
desirable to answer your phone by saying “Hello this is Mary Jones” or
“This is the Jones’ residence.” All you have done is given a potential
obscene phone caller some information he may use to further embarrass
you.
When a caller asks what number he has reached do not give out your
telephone number. Ask him what number he is calling and then tell him he
has dialed incorrectly or whatever is the case
Do not engage in a conversation with a wrong-number caller. It is your
telephone and you are the owner Vvho is in control of your phone.
It is a good idea not to let small children answer the telephone. Young
children have been severely traumatized in some cases by receiving
obscene phone calls.
If you have any questions or would like further information please call
the Crime Prevention Section of the III Corps Provst Marshal’s Office at
287-5813.
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Adolescents require care
By JAN FRAMENT
“It takes a lot of maturity strength
judgment control and caring to pa-
rent teenagers” Dr. Carl Pickhardt
Austin psychologist and writer said
during the first of two seminars enti-
tled Parents and Teenagers in Search
of Better Relationships sponsored by
the Family Life Center.
“The process of moving from child-
hood to adulthood is painful for both
the parent and the adolescent” Pick-
hardt said. “The child is slowly being
lost to the parent while valued child-
hood experiences must be disre-
garded by the adolescent. A real
mourning period is felt by both but
too often neither parent nor adoles-
cent realizes or is able to express this
pain. And perhaps for the first time
there is conflict between the parent
and the child.
“Conflict is an action of intimacy
and closeness and there is a lot of
conflict in dealing with the adoles-
cent” Pickhardt said.
What those who attended the con-
ference wanted to know was were
there ways to survive this kind of dis-
ruptive contact and still remain sane.
Pickhardt said he believes parents
can survive and offered a number of
suggestions.
Avoid criticizing the adoles-
cent’s character. Adolescents are
very critical of themselves. They are
as unsure of their own motivations
and selfworth as their parents are and
perhaps more so. Criticizing their
character triggers defensiveness and
conflict.
Be realistic
Be realistic in attempts to punish
and control the adolescent. Take
time to review all aspects of the
adolescent’s behavior. For instance
the adolescent’s grades may have
dropped in junior high school (a nor-
mal growth pattern) but he may still
do his chores or keep curfews or be
responsible in other ways. Realize
that a possible loss of control in one
area does not mean a loss of control in
all areas.
“Adolescents obey by consent”
Pickhardt said “and parents need to
be aware that often their son or
daughter could be getting into much
more trouble than they choose. Keep
in mind the positive when trying to
control or punish the negative be-
havior.”
Be realistic in expectations. The
adolescent’s behavior is dictated by
his or her changing world and en-
vironment. Parents need to maintain
daily communication with the
adolescent to understand what he or
she is experiencing.
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“The problem is that this is a time
when the child is least accessible.
She is busy with her own activities or
he feels the need for privacy but the
attempt to communicate is impor-
tant” Pickhardt said.
“The best approach to communica-
tion is for the parent to share his or
her day permitting the adolescent to
respond and share by choice. Ques-
tioning even a simple ‘How was your
day?’ may make the adolescent feel
trapped or interrogated opening the
potential for withdrawal or conflict.”
Avoid conflict
Whenever possible avoid con-
flict. “Conflict takes cooperation”
Pickhardt said. “You can’t fight un-
less you agree to fight. In some cases
conflict becomes ritualized and the
parent and adolescent lock them-
selves into predictable patterns of
confrontation. At this point the pa-
rent needs to consider what he or she
is doing to contribute to that pattern
and how to withdraw or change that
behavior.
The parent should seek outside
THERESA MELLO
513 E HWY 190 (817)547 1275
help Pickhardt suggested. Get a
friend to listen while reviewing these
questions and considering the pat-
terns and solutions. Parents must be
able to let conflict slide off delay in-
teractions or use humor to defuse a
situation.
But there are times when conflict
should not be avoided. For instance
conflict should not be avoided if to do
so means the situation will become
worse. Nor should it be avoided if the
parent feels afraid to engage in con-
flict with the adolescent. The adoles-
cent will pick up the fear and take
advantage of the situation to increase
his power. A bully will have been cre-
ated.
Sense of caring
When engaged in conflict main-
tain a sense of caring Pickhardt said
taking a position of “loyal opposi-
tion” and letting the adolescent
know that no matter how hard he
pushes he will not push the parents’
caring away nor will the parents be-
come physically or emotionally abu-
sive.
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Thursday September 29 1983 THE FT. HOOD SENTINEL A-5
AA Occasionally
547-5349
When adolescents are feeling most-
critical of unsure of themselves they
are the most offensive. It is important
that parents provide a safe place for
Positive interaction
Take time for positive interac-
tion. Sometimes parents and adoles-
cents become so locked into patterns
of negative feelings and actions that
all positive activities stop. Pickhardt
suggested reviewing patterns of in-
teraction to determine when the last
positive contact took place and how
to reestablish and increase positive
contact with the adolescent which is
necessary if caring is to be main-
tained on both sides.
The adolescent passage into adult-
hood can be made easier within a
working marriage. Parents need to
talk things out between themselves
support each other and present a un-
ited front.
“When one parent is left with all the
responsibility while the other takes
the role of occasional supervisor” I
Pickhardt said “a potential for re-
sentment by the ’heavy’ or responsi-
ble parent exists. Eventually the pa-
rents might find that not only is their
relationship with their children in
difficulty but so is their relationship
with each other.
“Where there is a non-working
marriage or single parent the respon-
sible parent needs to talk with some-
one needs to get support either
through family friends support
groups or through professional
means.”
Pickhardt said parenting the
adolescent is a balancing act requir- I
ing that parents let their children go
so that they can grow while still hold-
ing on until the children are responsi-
ble enough to be on their own.
Focusing on the realities of the pre-
sent letting go of the past maintain-
ing caring remembering that this
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them to vent their confusion and self
doubt even when the parents appear
to be the target. ... I
Separate actions and punish-
ments from anger. Express anger
controlled ways then if necessary
walk away from the conflict assuring
the adolescent further talk will take
place later. Take the time to cool off.
This makes it easier to focus on the
behavior and its consequences rather
than on winning an argument. I!
“When consequences are pre-
sented in anger” Pickhardt ex-
plained “the adolescent often con- I
centrates on the parent’s anger or
emotions as the problem and failsto
hear the consequences of his own ac-
tions.”
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The Fort Hood Sentinel (Temple, Tex.), Vol. 42, No. 21, Ed. 1 Thursday, September 29, 1983, newspaper, September 29, 1983; Temple, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth309623/m1/5/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Casey Memorial Library.