The Rice Thresher, Vol. 96, No. 2, Ed. 1 Friday, August 29, 2008 Page: 17 of 24
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Friday, August 29,2008
the Rice Thresher
SPORTS 17
H COMMENTARY
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What did we learn from
these Olympics?
With the closing ceremonies
last weekend, the Beijing Olym-
pics have officially come to a close.
These Games featured their share
of exhilarating victories, devas-
tating defeats and questionable
antics, just like
the Olympiads of
yore. So, barring
any unforeseen
Russian inva-
sions of Georgian
locker rooms,
let's see what
we've learned:
The produc-
ers of Entourage
had it backward: Michael Phelps,
not Adrian Grenier. should have
auditioned for the role of Aqua-
man. And just imagine how
many more medals he would
have won if he'd grown a Mark
Spitz mustache?
After sweeping the medal
stand, the U.S. women's saber
team should be sent to sort out the
mess in Afghanistan.
The U.S. softball team needs to
start preparing now if they want to
reclaim that gold that Japan stole.
Oh, wait...
Handball needs to catch on
in America as badly as John Mc-
Cain needs to come clean on his
Viagra use. Actually, on second
thought, that analogy is gross.
My bad. Anyway, handball
is awesome.
Usain Bolt, who showed that a
steady diet of Chicken McNuggets
doesn't always leave you looking
like an orca, should challenge
Soulja Boy to a dance-off.
Pixar should partner with
whoever put on the 55-second
clip of the Opening Ceremony fire-
works barrage, as long as the Chi-
nese government lets them out of
the basement.
The underwater camera angles
during the women's water polo
matches make me feel dirty. And
not in a good way.
Ronaldinho is as unattract-
ive as ever, but my, oh my can he
play futbol.
The only thing that could rival
U.S. gymnast Shawn Johnson for
sheer compactness is a black hole
(bet you didn't think you'd see
an astronomical reference in this
column, huh?).
I hope it's not too late for
Casey Michel
Coach K to recruit Kobe (who still
has four years of eligibility, right?)
to Duke.
1 miss the Hamm brothers'
Rttgrtrtsimpressions real voices.
The Chinese character for
"13-year-old
gymnast" is
actually the
same as "If you
Google 'Dar-
fur' one more
time, you prob-
ably shouldn't
fall asleep
tonight."
It's really
hard not to make a joke about
Tyson Gay dropping his partner's
stick in the 4x100 relay.
Speed-walking is as much a
sport as speed-crawling, speed-
crab-walking or speed-knitting.
C'mon, Jacques Rogge! This is a
sport, but dodgeball isn't?
If I hear one more ripoff of
the Olympic slogan, I'll go Citius,
Altius, Fortius Chuck Norrius on
your ass.
While in Australia, you re-
ally shouldn't make fun of the fact
that they call their soccer team the
"Olyroos," or they'll sic Russell
Crowe on you.
Anyone who devotes enough
time to pingpong table tennis
to be able to make the ball spin
both ways on one shot, well, they
should really get out more.
Those competing in the ar-
chery contests should challenge
Legotas to a fight. I'd have mon-
ey on the elf, but I'm sure it'd
be interesting.
Whoever designed the Bird's
Nest must have been going for
that popular "what-if-a-building-
was-attacked-by-Spiderman"
aesthetic look.
The irony that China's 1.3 bil-
lion couldn't even fill most of the
Olympic venues nearly made my
head explode.
Funmi Jimoh proved that not
all Rice graduates go on to be-
come bookish engineers, strug-
gling English majors or, um.
Lance Berkman.
The highlight of the equestrian
competition is making a horse
switch its lead foot. Pardon me
while I go watch paint dry.
Big Papi and Brian Urlacher
see LEARN, page 21
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After going without a locker room for all of the 2007 season, the soccer team redecorated their home digs for 2008.
Home sweet home:
The Owls soccer team redecorates their lockers.
by Yan Digilov
A fractured team without a home:
this is an image of the 2007 soccer
team that the Owls are trying to put
behind them. On the field the first
steps towards redemption came with
a filled depth chart, and off the field,
the Owls have found a new home af-
ter Autry construction stripped the
team of a locker room in 2007.
"In order to improve the future of
Rice and other sports, it's one of the
sacrifices that needed to be made,"
senior captain Christine Petric said.
As the season began, the team found
that the sacrifice, while seemingly
inconsequential for on-field perfor-
mance, was taking a toll on the team.
The players had no place to take
shelter at halftime from the incessant
Houston heat on the numerous Sunday
afternoon match ups. Also, if a player
got injured on the field, there was no
place nearby to receive medical atten-
tion.
Taking equipment to and from
each game and practice made
the squad 00k more like a high
school team than a Division I soc-
cer program. Most importantly,
though, the women had no place
to gather and prepare themselves
for the game.
"It was a huge deal," associate
head coach Nicky Adams said. "It
turned out to be really critical be-
cause all last year, there wasn't re-
ally a place where all 30 people could
meet in one room to get mentally pre-
pared. Team chemistry and morale is
important to have."
Morale was hard to come by all
year long. A depth chart depleted due
to injuries cost the team dearly. After
a promising 6-2 start to the season, a
6-0 loss at Texas A&M marked the dis-
appointing midpoint of the season.
"It was tough year for us, because
as soon as the injuries came in, it
hurt," Petric said.
The team ended up losing to the
University of Central Florida in their
final game, falling short of a confer-
ence championship and a NCAA
tournament appearance.
As the Owls performance faded
towards the end of the season, Ad-
ams realized the impact the con-
struction was having on the team.
The coaches met with President Lee-
bron and Athletic Director Chris Del
Conte to discuss building the team
a real locker space.
O see Home, page 21
INTERWEBSt
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Chun, Lily & Farmer, Dylan. The Rice Thresher, Vol. 96, No. 2, Ed. 1 Friday, August 29, 2008, newspaper, August 29, 2008; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth443032/m1/17/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.