The Rice Thresher, Vol. 95, No. 18, Ed. 1 Friday, February 1, 2008 Page: 13 of 20
twenty pages : ill. ; page 19 x 15 in.View a full description of this newspaper.
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13
the rice thresher ARTS 6 ENTERTAINMENT
friday. february 1,2008
All I ever want to be is a
music video vixen
After years of scholarly pursuits,
all I want to do is be in a music video.
Just picture it.
Me, in bed with my cat who
wears tiny jammies, and
we are dissatisfied with
our relationship. So, like
Bjork in her video for
"Triumph of the Heart,"
I go on a drunken bender
that infuses me with new
life and love for my cat.
Walking on the side of
the road while pink hearts
stream alongside my
head, my cat pulls up in
his car and we do a happy
dance together.
Or me, spinning around with my
hands in the shape of a gun, causing
all the backup dancers to collapse
in a circle around me like Feist in
the video for "1234."
Or me, covered in silver paint
and back bending or dancing with
an umbrella under a shower of
sparks like Rihanna in "Umbrella."
Actually, no one should picture that.
I would be a very sad approximation
of Rihanna in leather hot pants.
Realistically, 1 couldn't be the
performer in any music video.
Despite a brief stint in high school
choir, I haven't truly mastered more
than a three-note range. Nor have I
mastered the art of dance, which all
the above videos would require.
Luckily, there are plenty of roles
available for women who have no
musical talent. Perhaps the most
indecent example is Nelly's video for
'Tip Drill," in which he rains money
on mostly-naked video vixens, and
concludes by sliding a credit card
through one woman's ass crack.
I've always refused to wear a thong
onscreen though, so that probably
won't work for me either. However, I
have always wanted to be showered
with champagne.
Hi ere also exists the in-between
category of Generic-Love-Interest.
Videos that feature these women
follow a familiar formula: A male
performer strums an acoustic guitar
Nikki
Metzgar
DESIGN
and the camera trails a nice-looking
girl throughout her day until the
final 30 seconds when the two love-
lorn youths get together.
I could stand being in
the position of love inter-
est but honestly, it really
doesn't have the same
cool factor as living with
a cat that wears human
clothes. Why waste the
fulfillment of my greatest
dream on an enactment
that doesn't take advan-
tage of everything the
medium has to offer?
Videos automatically
have one big opportunity
for awesomeness: the music. Some-
times when riding the bus with my
headphones in, I feel like Natalie
Portman experiencing a critical
epiphany in one of her movies. The
effect of the right song is what I
imagine motivates people to make
out — and do other stuff — to mu-
sic. It can make any moment seem
epic. So it only makes sense that
the visual representations of songs
should be epic too.
Some incredibly noteworthy
directors including Spike Jonze
(Heingjohn Malkovich) and Michel
Gondry (Eternal Sunshine of the
Spotless Mind) have worked magic-
directing music videos for artists
such as Daft Punk, The Chemical
Brothers and Notorious B.I.G. The
OK Go video where they hop around
on treadmills inspired the Common
lyric "Be on the treadmill, uh, like
OK Go!" Even four-minute videos
can have as much influence on pop
culture as full-length films.
So if I ever get to be in a music-
video I hope that it depicts something
ambitious or impossible. Although,
me being in a video is fairly impos-
sible in the universe as we know it.
The answer for me probably lies
in YouTube.
Nikki Metzgar is a Baker College sen ior
and Arts and Entertainment editor.
re
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From page 12
proven an effective method of pain
distraction for severe burn therapy.
Design Life Now succeeds because
the works appeal to an incredibly
diverse audience. There are little
black dresses for the fashionistas,
kayaks for the ouidoorsmen and
blogs for the Internet savvy. There
are tables you might find at IKEA
or light fixtures you might find at
Urban Outfitters. There is even
a robot that might hit on you, if
you are lucky. The whole exhibit
is lighthearted and exciting with
new curiosities literally around
every corner.
How does what a
person CREATED
relate to what
I know about
the world?
The traditionalist may shun a
design exhibit at an art museum,
wishing to keep art conventional. But
even though it displays the latest and
greatest inventions and innovations,
Design Life Now is also successful
from a purely artistic standpoint.
'Hie works, like any other success-
ful display of good artwork, evoke
response, whether it is awe, disgust
or confusion. They make viewers
question the inspiration of the de-
signers and, in turn, question their
own inspirations. How does what a
person created relate to what I know
of the world? How could 1 come up
with something like this?
If an exhibit can ask why people
create, how exploring the world
both visually and scientifically
provides us with new perspectives,
and of just what our fellow humans
are capable, then the medium of
creation does not matter. Design
Life Now does not answer these
questions for the viewer, but it sure
makes it seem like there is a real
answer out there somewhere.
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JFINALIY! Now that I can live
inconspicuously amongst humans,
I need to find an amazing human
way to celebrate1
For god s sake Ellen, stop playing
Guitar Hero on your show1 Why
won't this writer's strike END1?
m
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Whitfield, Stephen. The Rice Thresher, Vol. 95, No. 18, Ed. 1 Friday, February 1, 2008, newspaper, February 1, 2008; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth443053/m1/13/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.