The Rice Thresher, Vol. 93, No. 22, Ed. 1 Friday, March 10, 2006 Page: 20 of 20
twenty pages : ill. ; page 19 x 15 in.View a full description of this newspaper.
Extracted Text
The following text was automatically extracted from the image on this page using optical character recognition software:
20
THE RICE THRESHER BACKPAGE FRIDAY, MARCH 10,2006
ePP'
THE THR
HOLLYWOOD
- >,■ . ^ ~ fc
TK f
f
The
a
a
Evan
finally
finds a
religion
he can
get along
with. His
e-meter
is off the
charts!
N
West Coast
Misclass
"You've got to hook up
with some chick. Well,
not hook up, but get
to the point where if
you wanted to, you
could."
"You mean get her
really drunk."
— Evan tries to help Beko
out with the ladies
Evan
speeds
to the air-
port. See,
hybrid cars
can go faster
than 35 miles
per hour.
Matt-O, Beko, Marshall, Julia and
Evan spent four days and three
nights at a college newspaper
convention In Los Angeles.
Conclusion?
Top 10 list of why LA. sucks:
10. Other newspapers
9. Debutantes
8. Annoying girls who throw up In
the back of the airport shuttle
7. Major In page design — WTF?
6. Never getting a Job, ever
5. No wireless
4. No car and no mass transit
3. Hot tub closes at 8
2. $10 muffin for breakfast
1. Not New York City
\(
Alas, even the tasty
goodness of an
In-n-Out double-
double animal-style
cannot cheer up
Marshall. What's
the matter? Hipster
scarf too tight?
Come on, stiff
upper lip.
mKKfmnfim
Marshall
sticks it to
Starbucks.
Yay indie
coffee.
Fight the
man. They
didn't
give us a
dollar off
for being
Thresher
staff,
though.
Uh-Oh!
Looks
like Julia
gave in to
Kabbalah.
Just don't
give her the
evil eye or
she will total-
ly freak. Damn
you Hollywood
religions!
"Look, Pee Wee Herman's
star. You should masturbate
right here."
—Anonymous woman asks Evan
to practice what he preaches
"Man, if they have velociraptor
penises I would just die."
— What Evan thinks of a sex museum
Evan seems to be enjoying
the local cuisine. Oh,
In-n-Out Burger, it's
like we're characters
on the OC. Well,
Evan is a nerdy
Jewish boy whose
ex-girlfriends
often become
lesbians.
"You're not drunk, you're just
underdrinking!"
— The University of Minnesota,
demonstrating how they earned their
third place award
Hmm
A
Marshall is
bored while
Evan experienc-
es the ecstasy
that is cotton
candy. If there is
any good in the
world, it is
cotton candy.
"He is by far the most
bonable of my writers.'
—Julia reveals her
method for placing
articles.
Shortly after
Beko took
this picture,
Marshall
suffered
a severe
roundhouse
kick to
the head.
He is now
pregnant
with Chuck
Norris' child.
Julia finds her
soul mate:
some hobo
who asked us
if he could bum
some pot. Alas,
his pipe was
empty with nary
a bud. Welcome
to California.
CLASSIFIEDS
classifieds@rice.edu
(713) 348-3974
HELP WANTED
BARTENDERS WANTED! $250
per day potential. No experience
necessary. Training provided. Age
18+ OK. (800) 965-6520 ext. 289
RICE AREA FAMILY looking for a
babysitter 2 afternoons a week (3 to
6 p.m.) to help with 3 year old and 4
month old. Walking distance from
Campus- near Holcombe and Green-
briar. Please call (713) 660-9084.
'pizza, wings, burrito
PUB
burrito
S^urrito
<burrito
burrito
burrito
events at Pub
mon.mar. 20 Open Mtc Night
TUIV MAR. 1 1 - IOVETT PUB NlGHT
| WED, MAR. 2 2 - SEX 6* THE CtTY TRIVIA
mm m thurs. mar. 2 1 mr. engineering/
hmo Date auction
fri. mar. 24- mechi/Civi Pub Night
AFTERNOON NANNY FOR
Southampton family: Children ages
7 and 9. Responsibilities: driving to
after-school activities, cooking,
homework, cleaning, and organizing.
Monday - Friday 4p.m. -7p.m. (15-20
hours). Please call (713) 745-2203 day
or (713) 528-2676 eve.
WESTU FAMILY seeking responsible
individual for After School Care of 10
yearoldson. M-F2:45-5:45p.m. Extra
hours available. Pick up from school,
help w/homework, drive to activities,
entertain. Pay negotiable. Start- April
2006. (713) 304-1074.
EARN $1,000-5,000 PER week in
your own prestigious home-based
business. Top notch products being
sold in 30+ countries worldwide by
doctors, students, attorneys, etc.
Not MLM. Call (800) 596-0135 for
free CD.
AFTERNOON BABYSITTER
NEEDED for two elementary
school-aged children (in
Memorial area). Must be
responsible, friendly, outgoing,
and experienced. Responsibilities:
driving children to after-school
activities, helping with homework, and
some errand-running. Pay negotiable.
Greer Mendelow (713) 302-0174.
MISCELLANEOUS
RICE RINGS. Undergrads: once you
have 90 hours, you can order your
class ring anytime at the campus
store. I deposit required .Jones School
students: you can order a ring anytime
during your 2nd year.
THE ONE PROPHESIED by the
major world religions will soon be
seen by everyone. He'll come across
as a teacher in the broadest sense of
the word. He is not about Religion.
www.Share-International.org.
EIGHT DAY ITALY poetry
workshop starts May 28 in
Vitorchiano. $1,500 includes
hotel, all meals, Rome roundtrip,
four excursions (Viterbo,
Orvieto, Garden of Monsters,
Villa Lante), six workshop sessions.
Randall Watson taught ten years
at U of H highly ranked Creative
Writing Program. Fabulous Etruria,
undiscovered by non-Italians,
unbelievably beautiful. Cultivated
non-workshop travelers welcomed,
$1,200. Further information
e-mail Weinberger Associates at
Ruellia@aol. com.
RFC YC LE TH E TI1RES11FR. Please
recycle this newspaper when you've
finished reading it. Keep our cam-
pus clean and neat!
PICK UP YOUR YEARBOOK Cam-
paniles are available 2003-'04, 2002-
•03, 2001-'02, 2000-'01 and 1999-'00.
Undergraduate students are eligible
to receive books for ;uiy academic year
that they were registered. Get your
book in the Clubs Office, 2nd floor,
Ijey Student Center, M-F, 1-5.
PLAY ADULT RFC SOCCER.
Coed and women's leagues,
Sundays and Mondays, mostly
West Houston. See www.hwsa.org.
HAVE A FUN and safe Spring Break.
Take advantage of the chance to get
some much needed sleep!
HOUSING
MUSEUM DISTRICT. ONE
bedroom apartment in
thougtfully renovated building at
1301 Richmond. Central air/heat,
hardwood floor, updated kitchen
with dishwasher, assigned parking,
on site laundry. $565 with lease and
deposit. Andover (713) 524-3344.
CLASSIFIED ADS
Rates are as follows:
1-35 words: $15
36-70 words: $30
71-105 words: $45
Cash, check or credit card pay-
ment must accompany your ad.
Deadline is Monday at 5 p.m.
prior to Friday publication.
The Rice Thresher
Attn: Classifieds
6100 Main St., MS-524
Houston, TX 77005-1892
Phone: (713) 348-3974
Fax: (713) 348-5238
The Thresher reserves the right
to refuse any advertising for any
reason and does not take respon-
sibility for the factual content of
any ad.
Search Inside
This issue can be searched. Note: Results may vary based on the legibility of text within the document.
Tools / Downloads
Get a copy of this page or view the extracted text.
Citing and Sharing
Basic information for referencing this web page. We also provide extended guidance on usage rights, references, copying or embedding.
Reference the current page of this Newspaper.
Obermeyer, Amber. The Rice Thresher, Vol. 93, No. 22, Ed. 1 Friday, March 10, 2006, newspaper, March 10, 2006; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth443086/m1/20/: accessed June 21, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.