The Jacksboro Gazette (Jacksboro, Tex.), Vol. 52, No. 40, Ed. 1 Thursday, March 3, 1932 Page: 2 of 8
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THE JACKSBORO GAZETTE
oinei
Then Here Are Some Organizations
You May Have Overlooked:
Ugly pimples
Netura'e warning—help naturacleer year
complexion and pamt red raaas In your pale,
•allow cheek*. Truly wonderful resulm
follow thorough colon cleansing. Taka Nf
—NATURE'S KLHLDY—to regulate and
-Strengthen your eliminative organs. Then
' 'Watch the transformation. Try Ut inatead
Of mere laxatives. Only Zf>c.
The All-Vegetable Laxative
: test tonight
tor JJf'
iWomen’s Ailments
Ruin Happiness
Women who are victims of those
potty ailments so common to woman-
kind rarely ever get the full plea-
sures which life owes them. Such
women should start taking St.
Joseph’s G.P.P. It helps to quickly
banish petty ills and to build up
abundant vitality and strength. This
rich vegetable tonic is made from
nature’s own roots and herbs. Your
druggist sells the big dollar bottle
of St.Joseph’s G.F.P. on an absolute
money-back guarantee.
Naila Mend Broken Bones
Connecting the ends of fractured
bones with metal nails was demon-
strated recently by Dr. Lorenz Boeli-
ler at Vienna, Austria. Doctor Iloeh-
ter exhibited X-ray pictures of the
method and presented a number of
patients. One was a woman over
eighty years old, who is now able to
walk normally.
'Worms-
Childhood's
worst enemy
A child that craves ab-
normal diets, who inclines
fo eat sand or dirt, who
{jrits his teeth, cries out in the night,scratches
his nose or squirms about without apparent
cause, is usually afflicted with worms. Worms
are dangerous, disgusting pests and their
presence disturbs the complete nervous sys-
tem. Wise mothers take no chances. They
treat with Jayne's Vermifuge even when
worms are only suspected. It is absolutely
harmless, pleasant and sure to expel round
worms and their eggs promptly. Buy a bottle
today. DR. D. JAYNE & SON, Philadelphia.
I OVER 36 MILLION BOTTLES SOLD
Jayne’s!krmifuge
Plant’s Long Hibernation
After Percy Cogswell of Alliance,
(Neb., came from Cripple Creek, Colo.,
2.‘! years ago be nicked a little Mexi-
can plant lie bad brought along In a
desk drawer. Recently he remem-
bered the plant, and put it In water.
It grew.—Indianapolis News.
STOP RHEUMATIC
PAINS WITH HEAT
OF RED PEPPERS
Relieves Almost Instantly
Good old Nature has put into red
peppers a marvelous therapeutic heat
that gets right down to the source of
trouble and almost instantly relieves
the pains and aches of rheumatism,
stiff joints, lumbago and neuritis.
Thousands have found it the one safe-
guard against chest colds, too. Now
this genuine red peppers’ heat is con-
tained in an ointment that you just rub
on. In less than 3 minutes you feel re-
lief come. It is called Rowlea Red
Pepper Rub. Safe. Will not burn or
Sting. Get a small jar f rom your druggist.
Underpaid Teacher,
The average salary for rural teach-
ers Is $855, against $1,818 for city
teachers.—Country Home.
Diplomatic
Three-year-old Marian and her
mother were visiting In the home of
Uncle Jim. dignified and unimagina-
tive. Events proved somewhat dis-
appointing to the little girl and she
evidently decided to take matters
Into her own hands. As her uncle
left home one morning, she said to
him:
“Uncle Dim, if I was a big man
like you mid you was a little girl
like me and you came to see me, I’d
det you some candy.”
She got the candy.
The tenor of a singet's
should never be base.
conduct
Among mortals, second thoughts
are wisest.—Euripides.
SUFFERED PERIOD-
ICALLY FOR YEARS
Mount Home, ,
Texas — “1 suf- i
fered periodically
for a number of
years; tried sev-
eral different
kinds of medicine
but to no avail.
Finally my hus-
band suggested _______
consulting Dr. ‘ -
Fierce by letter and I was advised ' to
take Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescrip-
tion and ‘Golden Medical Discovciy,’
alternately," said Mrs. W. H. Dunk.
“After taking two bottles of cadi, I
was permanently relieved. Two years
have passed and I haven’t suffered one
•ingle time since.”
Writ, Or. IW> Cllnin I* Buffrlo, N. Y,
for tr<M meillral advlae. Drunglma sell
Dr* Pierce’s Medicines
DALLAS, NO. 10-1932"
N.
em
The Society to Prevent Parents Nam-
ing Their Offspring “Clarence”
The Society for the Prevention of Call-
ing Sleeping Car Porters “George’.’
The Royal Order of Hard-Boiled Owls
with Rubber Ears
The Ancient and Honorable Order of
G. Wash. Pullers
The Guild of Former Organ Pumpers
The Ancient Order of Froth Blowers
The Slumbering Ground Hog Lodge
The International Bar Flies
The Bald-Headed Club of America
The Society of Authors Who Have
Been Hissed
The Circus Fans Association
The Ancient and Honorable Order of
Blue Goose
The Six-Foot Association
The Society of Men Who Wear Funny
Hats
The Hay-Fever Association
The Quiot Birdmen
The Woodland Bards
The Caterpillar Club
The Benjamin Franklins
The National Society of Long Fellows
The Society of Giant Engineers
The Fossils
The Cub Reporters’ Association
The Sick and Sorry Club
The Sons of Wild Jackasses’ Club
The Ship Model-Makers’ Club
The Whosit Club
The Bean Barrel Club
The Polar Bear Club
The Ancient, Honorable and Mystical
Order of Lapa Lapas
Jl
3£Tw
i/cb«r
By ELMO SCOTT WATSON
A
OME one has made the wise-crack
that if two or more men meet any-
where In the world and one of them
is an Englishman, he will immedi-
ately get busy and organize a club,
the insinuation being, of course,
that the Englishman is by nature a
“joiner.” Even If that were true,
the fact remains that he has little,
if anything, on his American cousin
in this respect. For reliable statis-
tics show that there are in the
United States more than 125,000
lodges or fraternal organizations
which should presumably satisfy the longing of
the majority of Americans for “belonging." But
that' doesn’t take into account the Innumerable
clubs, societies, associations and other organiza-
tions and rare indeed is the American who
doesn’t belong to one or more of these.
Ail of these, of course, are organized for a
“purpose”—social, political, civic, business, scien-
tific, professional, patriotic and honorary—and
those purposes are earnestly fostered by mil-
lions of earnest Americans. And some of these
earnest Americans are so Interested in fostering
those earnest purposes that they make an earn-
est effort to see how many of them they can
Join—and then base their claim to fame on the
number of organizations to which they belong.
But If some aforesaid earnest American be-
comes Just a hit tired of his membership in
clubs which have a “purpose,” lie still has an
outlet for his “Joining” proclivities In some organ-
izations which are not so purposeful. These are
the ones which have sometimes been designated
as “freak nnd fun clubs,” and it Is with this
type of organization that this article deals. So
If you are a “Joiner” and are looking for other
club worlds to conquer, take a look at the list at
the head of this article and decide which one you
would like to Join. Of course, the qualifications
for some of them may be a bit difficult for you
to meet, but If you aren't eligible for one, you
may be for another.
For instance, If you aren’t a white person, six
feet' and one Inch tall or more, you’d be almost
instantly blackballed If you applied for member-
ship in the National Society of Long Fellows or
the Six-Foot association. The National Society
of Long Fellows was started several years ago
by Phil E. Zimmerman of Topeka, ICnn., when
he was hotel commissioner of the Sunflower
state. Since that time the club has grown so
rapidly that there are now several thousand
members throughout the United States.
Some of the objectives of the club nre to get
longer- bath tubs, shirts, sox and other clothing,
higher awnings, signs and ceilings, bigger seats
In theaters and leg-room between the rows,
restaurant tables that do not require the Long
Fellow to hold them up with his knees and pull-
man berths In which they can sleep without
doubling up like a jackknife.
Among members are John Aasen of Los An-
geles, Calif., who heads the list with a height of
eight feet, nine and one-quarter Inches. Next
tallest Is Clif Thompson of Wisconsin, who is
eight feet and six inches. Three seven-footers
are O. R. Williams of Oklahoma and Ruth Dun-
can and Forest Glenn of Illinois. Mr. Williams
Is seven feet and five inches, Miss Duncan Is
seven feet and one inch tall, and Mr. Glenn Is
half an inch taller than she. Ten-year-old Rob-
ert' Wadlow of Alton, 111., Is a member. Robert
Is six feet and eleven inches tall.
If your personal appearance doesn’t qualify you
for that one, perhnps an absence of hair on your
head will make you a Knight of the Gleaming
Skull in the Bald Head Club of America. That
club was started away hack in 1000 when Paul
Meade, a lawyer of New York, took a photo-
graph of six bald-headed men seated on the
steps of John Belden’s store in Falls Village,
Conn. By chance a copy of this photograph fell
Into the hands of John Uodemeyer, a Green-
wich, Conn., newspaper man. And presto! John
then and there formed a club. Now It has more
than 1,000 members nnd at every annual ban-
quet some member gives a stirring speech on
“Hair Tonics Which Bald-Headed Barbers Sell to
Bald-Headed Boobs” or some spell subject. (P.
S. If you’re addicted to covering your baldness
with outlandish headgear, then there’s a place,
for you In the Society of Men who Wear Funny “
llats).
Ever go to the circus? “Sure!" you answer.
“Go, every year—don't care much about It my-
self,*hut I have to take the children.” But Just
because you’re a regular attendant. It doesn’t
mean thnt you’re eligible for membership In the
Circus Fans of America—not unless at soma time
*..... ' ili
In your juvenile career you earned you way Into
the show by carrying water for the elephant.
Karl Ku,e Knecht, an Indiana newspaper car-
toonist, who founded the C. F. A. some live years
ago, is authority for the statement that many
successful men of today are proud of the fact
that they once served the thirsty pachyderms
and they’re enthusiastic members of this club.
In a certain New York restaurant there’s ail
unusual booth for diners. Over the entrance of
what appears to be a tent are the words “Side
Show,” und adorning the front are two large,
gaudy circus banners, one boldly announces—
“Nono—the Wild Girl—She Speaks No Language
—Playmates are Deadly Serpents.” Another
heralds “La Belle Rosa—Flower of the Orient—
Queen of the Deserts—Favorite of Sultans.” In-
side the tent are painted banners, posters nnd
photographs of circus performers and freaks.
This side show tent is the luncheon meeting
place of the “P. T. Barnum Top No. 1 of the Circus
Fans of America." Each state and large city
lias its “Tent" or “Top” named for some famous
circus man.
The organization is primarily for fun, yet It
has a serious purpose, say its members—that' is,
to "help the circus toward bigger and better
things.” Fans and lovers and friends of the, cir-
cus are banded together to see It perpetuated,
and are eager that greater glory may come to
the tented shows.
If you missed out on the juvenile joy Just men-
tioned, perhaps you used to pump a pipe organ.
If so, your name can lie spread on the roll of
the Guild of Former Organ Pumpers, an associa-
tion composed of those who, by their pledged •
statements, pumped a pipe organ in a church or
chapel at some time In their youth. Its prin-
cipal aim Is serious—“to perpetuate the mem-
ories of our decadent but honorable profession
and to save for posterity some permanent evi-
dence of the important part the pumper pl4yed
in the musical and ecclesiastical progress of the
ages." It has other alms—“to encourage the
singing of the old hymns at Sunday night gath-
erings” and “to prove that every successful man
did not earn his first dollar selling newspapers”
—but its primary purpose is to achieve a belated
recognition.
The guild was launched in 1920 under the
favorable auspices of a natural divinity—“Aeolus,
the Greek God and Keeper of the Winds”—and
with the slogan, “Bump, for the Wind Is Fleet-
ing." The first meeting was held In New York
city In 1928. Officers, named after the stops on
the organ, were elected. And the roster of
members now holds the names of some of Amer-
ica's foremost citizens.
Will Hays, the czar of the movies, did his
pumping on a pipe organ In Sullivan, Ind., vhis
birthplace. He received 10 cents for his efforts,
and the dime was paid him at the conclusion
of the morning church service. His mother then
led him by the hand to his Sunday school class,
where he placed the money In the usual col-
lection.
James Couzens, United States senator from
Michigan, pumped In the Presbyterian church at
Chatham, Ont. He was paid $5 a year. He
pumped conscientiously for two years. At the
end nf that time he collected the $10 he had
coming, and this was a part of the original
money he Invested In stock of the Ford Motor
company, which eventually made him one of the
nation’s richest men.
The late Julius Ilosenwald, chairman of the
hoard of directors of Sears, Roebuck & Go., was
also a pumper. He labored in the Presbyterian
church at Springfield, III., and gladly accepted
the 25-cent weekly stipend which was turned
over quarterly.
Rut If In your youth you didn't turn an hon-
est penny by pumping an organ, perhaps you
did it In a printing office as a. helper to the print-
er-publisher of the home town paper. If that
was far enough back, you probably “pulled” a
George Washington hand press, a bit of back-
breaking labor necessary In the old days If the
newspaper-reading public was to he kept in-
formed on tile nffnlrs of the community. If you
did this, then you're eligible for membership In
the Ancient nnd Honorable Order of G. Wash.
Pullers, a society founded at the 'suggestion of
Harry C. Webster, an old Missouri “print," which .
• cnjrles on its membership rolls the name of a
•number of men who have risen high In the field
of journalism and who are proud to- any that
they got their start In newspaper work at the
lever of nn old G. Wash,
Then there's the Cub Reporters’ association,
compiled of men who ao young Journalists
sought the adventure which la popularly sup-
posed to be found In newspaper work, found It,
mm
perhaps, and now in the midst of busy rnjddl
age look hack fondly upon the time when they
toiled under the lash of a “Simon Degree city
editor” and dreamed the dream of all cub re-
porters—that of “scooping the world on a big
story."
Anyone who has been the victim of horseplay,
hazing, kidding und razzing or even torture by
the old-time, hard-boiled, demon city editor is
eligible for membership. In the '90s quick hang-
ings, dough prize fighting and ‘‘horrible crimes”
meant hardships nnd toil for the cub reporter.
He “hot-footed” It around for news, bumping
into all sorts of hard and trying experiences. In
the '90s barrooms w’ere popular community cen-
ters, and crimes were jobs for reporters to solve,
Still in the field of journalism, there are the
Fossils—old newspaper men who as boys en
gaged in amateur journalism nnd are proud of
their boyish effort's. And although such a society
has not yet been formed, any newsppaer man will
tell you that there’s a field for an organization
to be known as the Association of Those Who
Used to Be Newspaper Men Themselves.
Are you a radio DX-er? Do you sit up late at'
night “getting" new stations over your radio,
either shore wave or loug wave? Then you can
be initiated Into the Royal Order of Hard-Boiled
Owls with Rubber Ears with the howling cere-
monies which mark such nn initiation.
Do you enjoy breaking the ice In a river, lake
or pond and taking a bath there no matter what
the weather may be? The Polar Bear club wants
to hear from you, If you do. I>o you ever subber
frub hay feber? (Ker-choo!) The Hay Fever
association will be glad to send you a member-
ship application blank.
Do you have unlimited faith In the woodchuck
as an accurate weather prophet? So do the
members of the Slumbering Ground Hog lodge,
located at Quarryvllle, Pa. Organized by George
W. Hensel, Jr., who is Hibernating Governor, this
lodge has for Its chief aim to extol the virtues
of the groundhog, which, they say, “has an In-
telligence of a higher order' than that of any
other animal from the tick of the blackberry
to the elephant in the Jungle” and they take an
oath to "defend him, his family and his reputa-
tion, nnd to guard him as he slumbers.”
It’s not' easy to get Into this lodge for you
have to be elected by the seven patriarchs after
seven years of observation by the Defender of
the Faith, the Chief Eye Rubber, the Patriarch de
Luxe, the Bondlesu Treasurer and other officers.
But once you nre elected, you can join in the
annual ceremony on February 2 around the
groundhog’s hole.
If you believe that there’s more than one name
for the colored boys who look after your comfort
on the pullnmn cars, then you should join the
Society for the Prevention of Calling Sleeping
Car Porters “George." Organized by George W.
Dulnny, Jr., a Chicago bunker, the society now
has thousands of members nil over the country;
George Washington and George Dewey are their
patron saint's; George Ade is the poet laureate;
George M. Cohnn, the official song writer;
George William, Cnrdinal Mundelein, the chap-
lain; Georges Clemenceau wns French charge
d’affaires; and George ("Bube") Ruth Is sergeant
at arms.
All of the foregoing are organizations to which
almost anyone might possibly belong. But there
are also others whose membership is necessarily
rather limited to the certain professions. For in-
stance, you'd have to be a sailor In the United
States navy in order to belong to the Ancient,
Honorable and Mystic Order of Lapa Lapa, al-
though there nre many landlubbers who are
eminently fitted for membership. The only
qualification the prospective member must pos-
sess Is that he humbly acknowledge thgt he is n
poor <lsh. But only sailors know how to Initiate
candidates properly, for It was two sailors wlvo
founded the organization at Shanghai, China, in
1927, nnd sailors 8"e keeping the order going.
,Yovf couldn’t belong to the Quiet B^men un-
less you were a World ivar avlatornor to the
Caterpillar club unless you were an aviator who
had to make an emergency parachute jump to
save your life, and you would be barred from
membership In the Whosit club unless you were
a New York bond salesman engaged In selling
municipal bonds.
The list of ...these interesting organizations
cqtild be extended Indefinitely were It not for
the fact that the author of this article,has Just
received notice of a meeting of those interested
In forming a Society fox the Prevention of Form-
ing M»n> Sooletles and ha facia Obligated
leave at once to attend the meeting.
<0 b* Western Newspaper Union.)
1
. .
wMi
Hindu Pilgrims Easily
Wrought Up to Frenzy
The monotony of village life, re-
lieved only by occasional market
days, has for centuries been bright-
ened by pilgrimage to sacred places.
Here the sins of the pious Hindu are
washed away by battling under priest-
ly guidance in the sacred pool. Hith-
er come traders from all parts to
sell their wares, elephants, cattle,
horses, fine Dacca muslins and ma-
chine-made cotton goods, books, house-
hold utensils, toys and all the little
articles in dally use among the peo-
ple. Hither come the maharaja in
his glory of elephants and retinue;
processions of holy men, nailed fa-
kirs, marvels and freaks, calves
with five legs, two-handed children,
and giants and puppet' shows and
all the appurtenances of the medie-
val fair In Europe. !,■
Formerly, the pilgrims Came ‘ In
hundreds, on foot or riding, by ox-
cart, elephant or boat; now they
come In thousands by rail and motor
car. Recently, there were 3,000,000
nt the religious fair at Allahabad.
For months beforehand, great prep-
arations are made for the comfort
of these crowds, their lodging, food,
water supply and sanitation. Happy,
orderly crowds they are in their
clashing harmonies of color, grate-
ful for kindness and attention, en-
joying the fun of the fair no less
than the religious merit of the out-
ing. But let some religious dissen-
sion arise nnd all is changed In a
moment to blows and shouting, vile
Insults and a tlger-Ilke ferocity that
will hurl people nlive into flames
dunce with Joy at the victim’s agony.
—From "India Insistent," by Sir
Harcourt Butler.
Women Like to Fish
Duy by day, In every way, women
are liking to fish better and better.
One reason Is, say authorities, that
they may now wear knickers or
short skirts and leggings without
fear of what Mrs. Grundy will say.
Another element Is thnt fishermen
now frequently use nrtiflclnl halt and
woman’s delicate sensibilities no
longer need be shocked by hnndling
slimy worms, or slippery minnows
to bait their hooks.
Rheumatic
Pains
Relieved this
Quick Way
If stabbing pains
shoot across your
back and cripple
you, rub on good
old St. Jacobs OiL
Relief comes before
you can count 601...
Relief without bum-
Ing or blistering.
This famous oil
simply draws out
inflammation and
pain. It is soothing,
healing. For the
aches and pains of
Rheumatism, Neuritis, Lumbago,
Neuralgia or Backache there’s noth-
ing so quick or sure to bring relief.
Get a small bottle of St. Jacobs Oil
from your druggist.
An Inkling
Polly—Does your husband
stand you, dearie?
Molly—I think lie’s beginning to—
last week he opened another charge
account for me.
Impudence Is not ‘‘personality.’
rDorit Nedlect
Heed Promptly Kidney and
Bladder Irregularities
If bothered with bladder ir-
regularities; nagging backache
and a tired, nervous, depressed
feeling due to disordered kidney
action or bladder irritation,
don’t delay. Users everywhere
rely on Doan’s Pills. Praised for
more than 50 years. Recorp-
mended the country over.
Sold everywhere.
' A DIURETIC
JFQfl
JUE KIDNEYS k
. The ideal
Vacation Land
Sunshine AU Winter Ceng
Splendid roads—towering mountain
ranges—Highest type hotel*—dry in-
vigorating air—clear starlit nights—
California’s Foremost Desert Playground
SHIM Orem A Omtfrmy
Malm Sprftni
FOUR
iit
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Dennis, J. R. The Jacksboro Gazette (Jacksboro, Tex.), Vol. 52, No. 40, Ed. 1 Thursday, March 3, 1932, newspaper, March 3, 1932; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth602198/m1/2/: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Gladys Johnson Ritchie Library.