The Normal Star (San Marcos, Tex.), Vol. 8, No. 24, Ed. 1 Saturday, April 10, 1920 Page: 3 of 4
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THE NORMAL "TAR
BBaaaagBi aasssss &
|g. --.-T ■ ~,«Tjf»3fo« rw«-^ ^
THE NEW THEATRE
Saturday, Zipril SO
ROBERT WARWICK
—IN—
“TOLD IN THE HILLS”
10 and 30 Cents Including War Tax
FREE TICKET TO MAJESTIC
Monday, Tlpril 12
“THE FUGITIVE FROM MATRIMONY”
All Star Cast
—ALSO—
2 Episode 6"Lightning Bryce"
and a Comedy
THE
MAJESTIC THEATRE
Saturday, Zipril SO
WILLIAM DESMOND
-IN-
“DANGEROUS WATERS”
and a Sunshine Comedy
5 and 15 Cents Plus Tax
Monday, MprsS S2
ELAINE HEMMERSTEIN
-IN-
GREATER THAN FAME”
It’s Class A
FREE TICKET TO NEW THEATRE
A. B. ROGERS
FURNITURE CO.
COMPLETE HOUSE
FURNISHINGS
Undertakers and Embalmers
San Marcos, Texas
WE INVITE YOU
to call at the
Parlor S'"
In Post Office Block
ELECTRIC MASSAGE and
ELECTRIC HAIR CLIPPER
Give us a trial
FRANK BYLER, Prop
YOU ARE INVITED
TO ATTEND
SERVICES
AT THE
METHODIST CHURCH
TOMORROW
FINDING LIZZIE ANNE
A HUSBAND
Mrs. Turner was in danger of los-
ing Lizzie Anne. Cooking was be-
coming too monotonous for that dusky
lady, for she had become possessed
with the idea of getting married. The
question confronting Mrs. Turner how
to get Lizzie Anne a husband with-
out losing her as a cook.
That afternoon she sent for Jake
to come mow the lawn. During the
operation, she sauntered out into the
front yard on the pretext of
working with her flowers. Present-
ly she started in on her mission.
“Jake, how are yo getting along
these days?”
I’se doing pretty well, Miss Mary;
but I has the rheumatics some days.”
“Why Jake, who takes care of
you?”
“Nobody, lest my ma makes me a
cinnamon plaster.”
“You ought to get married, Jake.
You might die by yourself some time.”
“Well, Miss Mary, I’se thought
about it, but these good-for-nothing
niggers is all too flighty. I aint got
no confidence in ’em.”
This was Mrs. Turner’s chance.
“Jake, do you know Lizzie Anne?
She’s a mighty nice girl. She would
be the verry one for you to marry
She’s not a bit flighty, and she caa
make the hottest plasters and cook
the best things you ever ate. Come
on around to the kitchen, and I’ll in-
troduce you.”
Had tne innocent Lizzie Anne
heard herself so described, her tight-
ly wrapped kinks might have stood
straight up instead of only half way;
-and she would more than likely have
swallowed the hunk of chewing gum
that worked automatically in the side
of her jaw. But as it was, when Mrs.
Turner reached the kitchen door, fol-
lowed by the dubious Jake, Lizzie
Anne was peacefully humming:
“Roll, chariot, roll,
I’se gwin’ to heb’m when I dies.”
Hearing footsteps, Lizzie Anne
turned and even forgot to chew her
gum when her eyes beheld the ner-
vous Jake.
“Lizzie Anne,” commenced Mrs.
Turner, “This is Jake. Give some
of your ginger bread.”
“I’se powerful fond to meet yo, Mr.
Jake,” beamed the intrepid Lizzie
Anne, giving a stiff little bend of the
knees.
“It tickles me mightily to see yo’,
Miss Liz Anne,” gallantly asserted the
now rapidly recovering Jake.
Mrs. Turner vanished but listened
from the other side of the door. She
heard Lizzie Anne get the ginger
bread and draw a chair up to the
kitchen table. Then silence followed.
Uneasily she peeped thru the key-
hole just in time to see Lizzie Anne
perch herself up on top of Jake’s
table.
Mr. Jake, giv’ me a dime.”
M hat for you want a dime, gal?”
asked Jake scratching his head. This
sudden demand for money was evi-
dently disconcerting to him.
I wants to buy me some candy.
I’se got an awful sugar tooth in my
head!”
But aint you kind o’ for’ard ask-
ing me for money so soon?” Jake
had to get it out of his system.
Oh, now, Mr. Jake,” demurred
Lizzie Anne toying with the dish
cloth and modestly keeping her eyes
averted, “I liked you so plum well
the minute I set eyes on you, I feels
like I’se knowed you always.”
Mrs. Turner discreetly withdrew,
but in a remarkably short time the
door into the sitting room burst open
and Lizzie Anne and Jake tumbled in,
Jake with his arms in a dead lock
around Lizzie Anne’s neck and Lizzie
Anne clinging convulsively to him.
their eyes looking like great white
orbs standing out on sticks.
“Lawsy, Miss Mary, there’s a buz-
zard out here what’s making a noise
like an automobile.”
“Yes, and it you two start to mov-
ing away from here,” began Mrs.
Turner, “he’ll get you sure.”
“Why, Jake,” she continued, “What
are you doing with your arms around
Lizzie Anne?”
“We’se gwin to git married Miss
Mary,” stammered the grinning Jake.
* y- *
Pickens: “Ladies, may I smoke?”
Miller: “No, it makes me sick.”
Lawley: “You boob, you forget
you re not a girl.”
* * >\< *
THE PROPOSAL
Madam:—Most worthy of estima-
tion! After long consideration and
much meditation on the great reputa-
tion you possess in the nation, I have
strong inclination to become your
relation. On your approbation of
this declaration, I shall make prep-
aration to remove my situation to a
more convenient station to profess
my admiration; and if such oblation
is worthy of observation, and can ob-
tain commiseration, it will be an ag-
grandization beyond all calculaion of
the joy and exultation.
Of yours,
SAM DISSIMULATION
THE ACCEPTANCE
Sir:—I perused your oration with
much deliberation, and had a little
consternation at the great infatua-
tion of your imagination to show such
veneration on so slight a foundation.
But after examination and much
serious contemplation, I supposed
your animation was the fruit of re-
creation, or had sprung from osten-
tation to display your education by
an odd enumeration, or rather multi-
plication, of words of the same ter-
mination, tho of great variation in
each respective signification. Now
without disputation, your laborious
application in so tedious an occupa-
tion deserves commemoration and,
thinking imitation a sufficient grati-
fication, I am, without hesitation,
Yours,
MARY MODERATION
& * # ^
A LATIN TRAGEDY
Boyabus kissabus sweet girlorum,
Likabus girlabus, wantum summorum,
Papabus hearabus kissabus summor-
um;
Kicabus boyobus out of doorum.
Darkabus nightabus, not a lightorum.
Climabus postabus, breeches torum.
* * ' * $
The only course some fellows will
ever graduate in is the Course of
Time.
& s!« S s{t
NO DREAM
Hi: “I had a nightmare last night.”
Fly: “Yes, I saw you with her.”
# ■ sfc *
Mr. Sholts: (In Chemistry II)
“Where does sulphur occur, Miss
Reams?”
Miss Reams: “It occurs in many
vegetables, such as the yolk of an
egg.”
* * sfc *
AN APPEAL TO FATE
You made me what I am to-day,
As through the year’s we’ve rambled.
Now rectify the mess you’ve wrought,
I want to be unscrambled.
* * % *
OVERHEARD ON THE CAMPUS
Vivian S. to Plecky: “Don’t lose
your head every time a girl smiles
at you. It may be all she can do to
keep from laughing at you.”
sfe * *
NO NEED
Mr. Thomas: “Miss Green, why
don’t you take notes in my class?”
Eliza Green: “My mother took this
course and I have her notes.”
x *
QUICK WORK
He saw a peach across the way,
All smiles and passing fair;
Quick shift—a word—an anwser gay,
The Peach become a Pair.
GRAND
LEADER
Men’s Furnishings
Shoes for All
B
O ND’ <1
jR e sta uran ^
Nesbitt’s Barber Shop
East Side Square
Next First National Bank
Students Welcome
A Display of Unusal
Charm and Beauty Awaits
You at Our Exhibit of
Easter and Spring Mil-
linery.
Mattie L, Watkins
Upcoming Pages
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The Normal Star (San Marcos, Tex.), Vol. 8, No. 24, Ed. 1 Saturday, April 10, 1920, newspaper, April 10, 1920; San Marcos, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth614159/m1/3/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Texas State University.