Dallas Voice (Dallas, Tex.), Vol. 17, No. 12, Ed. 1 Friday, July 28, 2000 Page: 4 of 76
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VIEWPOINTS
It's happy homos vs. hectoring hets
m
Republicans
show lesbian &
gay voters their
compassionate
'conservative face
My friend Clayton
was complaining
recently about the sup-
posed influx of hetero-
sexuals, into Oak
Lawn.
"I'm over it," he
ranted. "They hold
hands in public, the
men wear unflattering
clothes, and they all
listen to Dr. Laura."
"Their ways," he added sanctimoniously,
"are not our ways. They should go back where
they came from!"
"Where they came from," I pointed out, "is
the womb. Which, by the way, is where you
came from. Don't I remember hearing about
some heterosexual parents somewhere in your
distant past?"
"That's different," Clayton replied huffily.
"Heterosexuals knew their place back then.
And it wasn't in my gay neighborhood."
"Oh, c'mon," I teased, "you know you're
just disappointed because civilization didn't
collapse on January 1, 2000."
Clayton had gone whole hog about Y2K
and spent a small fortune preparing to weath-
er millennial chaos. Clayton glared at me but
there was nothing he could say. After all, I'd
just spent a whole day helping him clean
diesel fumes off his petunias.
(If any of you ex-survivalists are thinking of
using that brand new emergency generator to
power your backyard jacuzzi, I recommend
against it!)
I shouldn't have encouraged Clayton's het-
erophobia. But I felt bad for him and couldn't
help tossing him a bone. "There may be a lot of
straight couples walking around Oak Lawn,
but in general they don't seem as happy as the
gay and lesbian couples," I told him.
Clayton brightened, as we all do, upon
receiving reassuring support for his narrow-
mindedness. "Good, Janelle, you see my point!
Want to come over for some MRE's - heat,
serve, and eat in under two minutes, just like
in the Persian Gulf? I've still got a few hundred
stockpiled. We can have distilled water for
desert!"
I declined Clayton's invite (Have you ever
stood next to an improperly sealed MRE when
it exploded? I have and it's not pretty.), and I
felt bad for overgeneralizing. It is true, though,
that different types of couples give off different
types of vibes, and many straight couples do
seem to be at least somewhat irritated with
each other most of the time.
Lines are the worst. Heterosexual couples
standing in line - any kind of line - always
seem to be in the midst of a covert power
struggle:
HIM: "Honey, do you want some coffee?"
HER: "It depends on what kind they have."
HIM: "I'll go check."
HER: "No, that's okay. I'll just get whatev-
er."
HIM: "Uh ... okay ... are you sure?"
HER: "Yes, I'll be fine - oh, it looks like they
don't have decaf here after all."
HIM: "We can go someplace else."
HER: "No, there isn't time. This'll be
alright, 1 guess."
HIM "Gee, honey, why did that drag queen
in line behind us just run out of here scream-
ing?"
HER: "I don't know. I didn't even notice
her whorishly painted face and ridiculously
short skirt. Apparently that's how you wish I
looked."
But do gay and lesbian couples really look
happier? Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I think
they do.
We aren't always falling all over each other
in love, but we do seem generally pretty con-
tent with each other, in a genial taking-care-of-
business kind of way.
Younger gay couples, for example, usually
look like they just went to the gym to work out
together and now they're scoping out guys.
Ross review on target
I got a big kick out of your review of the
recent Diana Ross and the quasi-Supremes
show at Dallas' Reunion Arena on June 29
(Dallas Voice, July 7,2000).
I was really glad to see that you singled out
my good friend Scheme Payne as proving
"herself the most talented vocalist of the
three." That is definitely the truth.
But a Supremes reunion without original
member Mary Wilson is about as big a joke as
George W. Bush Jr. trying to run for president
of the United States. As I write this letter, it is
being reported in Entertainment Tonight that
promoters canceled the remainder of the tour.
At the age of 56, and with all her fame and
fortune, Ms. Ross still hasn't realized that in
life, what goes around comes around. All she
had to do was to do the tour right, including
Ms. Wilson and Cindy Birdsong (the replace-
ment for original member Florence Ballard),
and I'm sure it would have worked out.
Bill Seagreaves
Dallas
Older gay couples look like they just went to
Home Depot to buy mulch and contact paper
and now they're scoping out guys.
Lesbian couples typically look like they just
set some new, healthy boundaries and now
they're trying really hard to honor them.
I wish the best for straight couples. At the
same time, as we move toward a society in
which us same-sex types enjoy all the same
options for yoking ourselves to one another
legally that heterosexuals have, I hope we
manage to hold on to our ability to fashion-
committed relationships that really work for
those who've allowed themselves to be com-
mitted.
It just seems gayer, you know? T
Janelle DuBois (aka Tom Kinney) is a Dallas
drag performer and writer. Visit her Web site
(www.geocities.com/~janelled) or e-mail her
(tek@metronet.com).
Get Real review off the mark
One of your video reviewers, Lawrence
Ferber, gave a local argument against the mer-
its of the movie Get Real. But I can give some
compelling reasons to rent or purchase Get
Real on video.
Dallas Voice itself published two multi-page
articles in praise of the movie. It won four
international film festival awards (Great
Britain, Germany, U.S. and Canada, all of them
audience-initiated awards).
The movie addresses important mental
issues facing gay and lesbian youth and class
and education equality issues facing youth in
Great Britain.
The original soundtrack by John Lunn, fea-
turing Guy Barker on trumpet, is simply excel-
lent.
I have seer, the movie no fewer than 11
times, and it ranked as one of my top psycho-
logical, spiritual and religious movie experi-
ence.
Grant Kinser
Dallas
Janelle DuBois
Loose in Dallas
MAILBAG
4
JULY 28, 2000
DALLAS VOICE
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Vercher, Dennis. Dallas Voice (Dallas, Tex.), Vol. 17, No. 12, Ed. 1 Friday, July 28, 2000, newspaper, July 28, 2000; Dallas, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth615533/m1/4/: accessed July 13, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting UNT Libraries Special Collections.