The Megaphone (Georgetown, Tex.), Vol. 43, No. 21, Ed. 1 Sunday, April 1, 1951 Page: 1 of 4
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I
I
A itflUUlt Daring Prison Chapel Break Is
Weakly Publication of World's only Co-ed Penitentiary
VOL. 43
Number 21
Georgetown, Texas, April Pool’s Day 1951
Letter From Chief Warden To - -
My poor misguided children:
It gives me pleasure to say you cooperate as good
as the Leavenworth mates and better than the Sing
SJpg group. You are an ideal group, select and singu-
larly chosen on the basis of your high mental charac-
ter and capabilities.
Remember the sage saying: “Stone walls do not a
prison make nor iron bars a cage/'
Now there is scuttlebutt going the rounds of our
grape vine that our little institution is about to fold
and I say, No! Sing Sing will go, Buchenwald will go,
trafc never will dear old Ratztrap go under. Not as long
as we have Shotgun McCook and Buchenwald Davis
handling the finance allotments. Also with so many
good boy and girl scientists, biologists and ministers
paying us huge sums to keep them out of Korea we
have assurances of staying in business as long as
there is threat of war.
For those of you who will receive parole^, pardons
end of term releases, we have the R.O.T.C. pro-
gram for convicts only, which will allow you to com-
plete your term before being taken into the armed
services.
We are proud of dui* penal system here in Ratz-
trap and when General Eisenhower calls upon us for
men and women to police Buchenwald and Dachau in
Germany we can feel assured that “our” people will
l^feDW how it is done! '
In the “Sadie Hawkins” day celebration that is com-
ing this week, I trust that you all will follow the rules
—cutting scrapes are all right but no shouting or
screams; if you must shoot your cell mates, do not
point in the direction of the windows. The burlap is
so patched up now it is practically beyond repair. If
you must mix wood alcohol with your gasoline and
ttolasses joy juice, it is as you wish. But do not heat
ltln the new fireproof, all wood gymnasium.
Remember “Stone walls do not a prison make, nor
iron bars a cage!”
CunninglyJ Thwarted Thursday
Revolutionary System In Plans Now
|)or Ratztrap Prison Code Library
Prison Librarian George R. “Sil- i machine in the oil-covered adver
encer” Rawley made his semi-an- tisement of the oiless hair dress-
nual 'report to Warden Finch re- . ing The vending machine was de-
cently and has now decide to di-
.. vulge some of the startling sug-
* gestipns included therein
One of the latest changes decid-
ed upon to makfe the library more
convenient and desirable to all is
tfie' installation of a swimming
somewhere in the library. The
, librarian here wishes to express
p. his deep indebtedness to the com
party which gave him this idea
>: Recently the prison library re-
ceived a small package addressed
prosaically enough to “Cody Mem-
-priad (Prison) Library”? Gh, but
Inside was a sample to prove that
- ‘ librarians do NOT sit in little iv-
scribed in detail as was the prod
uct which promises ultimately to
replace Vaseline, Wildroot Cream
Oil, and Ioni’s Home Permanent.
The hair dressing contains an in-
gredient which promises to do for
the hair what Hacadol does for
everything else (alcohol content
more than 17 per cent). This
should be good for the prisoners,
and might help them break the
hold that dope goof balls have on
them.
In order to install one of those
hair dressing vending machines
there had to be a swimming pool
with dressing rooms Now natur-
ally, Trustee Jackson wished the
ory towers (even in prison), and
they are pretty much “all things i library auditorium to be the site
all people” for the letterr at- r --------1---1 — **'"* u
tached to the product was ad-
dressed “to the Operator of
v A Swimming Pools, U. S. A.” The li-
brary always uses free samples—
lit canot afford to waste anything—
but 4his sample of a new type of
' bairL dressing caused “Silence”
~ ~~ ’Jp have a vision. ^ ._______
The library was direly in need
‘ of funds and had reached the
a^aw-grasping stage when im-
mediately after several months of
Reflection (during which time *3
artist inmates sculped new vers-
TKin]derrA"Sll*fide~
l - caw the possibility subtly suggest-
by the picture of a vending
for the proposed pool so that his
audio visual classes could have
underwater instruction. Rawley
wanted the pool to be at the pro-
posed site of the fourth floor
stacks against Guard M. N. Jack-
son’s better judgment. This would
eliminate the problem of how to
get water into the pool because
here it could collect rain water
when the roof leaks. However,
prison Architect Fairchild finally
settled the problem.
Since he was the one with the
original brainstorm of heating the
Dimmrrg-mrgi not jar blown down
from the attic, he suggested that
Invitation to Plagiarism
invitation to Plagiarism will
meet with Guard and Prison In-
structor Litehand Howard Tuesday
night. J. Edgar Hoover will be
speaking on “The Advantages of a
Small, Privately Owned Institu-
tion over a Larger One Under
State Control”.
Drop Class In Pick-
Pocketing
Chief Instructor Litehand Ho
ward and Women’s Assistant War-
den Starker Ferguson (to the
homefolks starker is strong and
rough) announced Pickpocketing
311 under her is changed to Pick
pocketing 312 under him and Pick
pocketing 311 under her was drop
ped which means that Litehand,
who is one of the institutions best,
now has a class to teach.
Shotgun McCook and Ferret Eye
Berglund, two top administrativ •
prison officials on the information
furnished by a trustee, Squealer
Burkhart, nipped a desperately
planned break in the chapel Thurs-
day.
News Screws
Explosion levels two buildings in
heart of Moscow. Stalin on knees
before Eisenhower. Coincidentally
Virus PXYZ breaks out into a epi
demmic in Washington, D. C Tru-
man and Dewey wire collect to
Stalin “We hate you, you haven’t
got us scared, we got you beat be
fore you know what hit you. Let
us join hands in brotherly love.
Churchill declines presidency of
the U S. because he would raw-
thaw not antagonize the commun-
ists in China.
Nehru a peace loving nobleman,
insisted upon turning his other
cheek before a large crowd of on
looking fellow sympathizers. He
in reality turned his other leg so
a cute little puppy dog could nip
him the second time Nehru now-
rues the day since he has started
foaming at the mouth and chew-
ing on other people’s legs himself.
RFC finally made its point that
it is necessary in the U. S dem-
ocratic system. Who’d have the
incentive to buy poor secretaries
mink coats and they had to keep
employees happy
John Paul Schulze absconds with
senior day funds.
Russia thinks U. S. has a flying
saucer and U S. thinks Russia has
it. But that isn’t true. It’s actually
sun spots affecting the myopia of
certain hard seeing individuals
Terrblie Tragic
Mistake Made By
Guard Taylor
Guard Taylor of the Women’s
section, who has trouble with her
eyes mistook a dark crouching
form on the roof of the women’s
cel block for a mans Because of the ,
fact that she thought it was a
man, she rushed to the roof to
catch him before he escaped. It
was a huge black thicket panther
with glaring eyes which faced her
in the dark there.
The horrible screams had hardly
died away when the roused inmates
heard Guard Taylor say “Blank,
blank cat, I though it was a man!”
The huge cat’s body wa3 carted
away in haste to the mess refriger-
ato.. Foor Putty cat!
_ (Continued on Page Tour)
. .......
Mug Stall Inter-
views Taft On
Republican Stand
AROUND THE
PRISON YARD
With Shakespeare
Dormitory rooms: “Space enough
Have I in such a prison” “Temp-
est”.
Discipline Committee: “In our
prison a common executioner, who
in his office lacks a helper.”
“Measure for Measure”.
Teacher’s Pet: “He hath ever-
more had the liberty of the prison,
give him leave to escape hence, he
would not.” (stoolie Holloway)
“Measure for Measure ”
Stupid pickpocket (Fairchild):
“Let me not be pent up. sir. I will
fast, being loose No sir; that were
fast and loose: thou shalt to pris-
on.” “Love’s Labors Lost”
Draft Dodger Joe Ray: “To seek
sweet safety out in vaults and pri-
sons.” “King John”.
Complaint from Geo Mitchell:
‘‘.. Hell our prison is.” 1 Henry VI.
Irs. Rader after vacation: “To
prison back again; from thence
unto the place of execution” (she
helps devise penalties against us
defenseless inmates) “2 Henry VI”
Instructor Guard Litehand How-
ard; “Thou hast put them in pris-
on; and because they could not
read ,thou hast hanged them.”
“2 Henry VI”
Custer. Lenz and Lenz, and
trustee Hardy: “Ah me, let me live
In prison all my days.” “3 Hen-
ry VI”
Stir crazy Deschner: “My heart,
all mad with misery, beats in this
hollow- prison.” “Titus Andronicus”
Gritz Bliffin: “Shut up in pris
on, kept without my food, whip
ped.” “Romeo and Juliet”
Business Office: “Let prisons
swallow ’em, debts wither ’em to
nothing ” “Timon of Athens”
Art Pry: “What have you...de-
served at the hands of fortune, J
that she sends you to prison hith-
er?” “Hamlet”
Sinclair: “To me it is a prison-
why then, your ambition makes it
one.” “Hamlet”
Starnes to Holloway 3 a.m.:
“Let’s away to prison: we two
alone will sing like birds i’ the
cage.” “King Lei^”
4 years for manslaughter: “To
prison, till fit time of law and
course of direct session call thee ”
(Radenz) “Othello”
Warden Finch: “Therefore be
cheer’d; Make not your thoughts
your prisons.” “Antony & Cleo”
Guard Richards and choir: “Our
cake we make a quire, as doth the
prison’d bird.” “Cymbeline”
Honor Council: “The jury, pass
ing on the prisoner’s life, may in
the sworn twelve have a thief or
two guiltier than him they try.”
“Measure for Measure”.
Paul Rader: “One that is a pris-
oner nine years old” “Measure for
Measure”.
Guard York to assistant guard:
“Now sir, how do you find the pris-
oner? A creature unprepared”
"Measure for Measure”
Chief Warden Finch to Draft
board: “Let him go: he is my pris-
oner, and you shall not have
him.” "Comedy of Errors”
Ferret eye Berglund in Assemb-
ly. “Come, bring forth the prison
ers ” “Richard III”
“Exam Fever” McCollum: “An
utimely ague stay'd me a prisoner
in my chamber.” “Henry VIII”
Sig to Zeta: “It is a manacle of
love; I’ll place it upon this fair
est prisoner.” “Cymbeline”
Folse: “Why have you suffer’d
me to be imprison’d, kept i a dark
house?” (Theta House) ‘12th Nite’
Assistant Women’s Guard Smith
(could be) "A guard I had that
It was during Chaplain Steel-
man's second player that the ring
leader of the escape plot, a trustee,
pietending sleep, w-as to have cold
cocked his sleeping bench guard,
Angus Springer, and slipped out
off the back iow- with his bench
mates and fellow- conspirators.
Shotgun MsCook, hearing that
seven of his inmates w-ere intend
ing to deprive him of state alocted
money per each and having ten
dollars more to pay in dollar a
month payments on a new bear
trap for his money room, immedi-
ately called in plain clothes man
Berglund whose ferret eye led
them uneiringly to the wrong
bench.
Prison’s Chaplain Steelman, see-
ing the tw-o men walk down the
aisle while he was saying the sec-
ond prayer, quickly skipped the
remainder of the writing and a
mens causing everyone much sur-
prise and amzement. The would-be
escapees, No 711 Cesmirosky; No.
199 Uj Snoga; No. 001 Clendenin;
No. 1 Murray; No. 2 Flinn; No. 22
Caveness; and No. 222 and-frustee
of his bench group, Albert Gore,
who masterminded the getaway
plot, got surpirsed wilking out in
their stockm0- feet.
When asked why the seven had
wanted to break, their reply was,
"VVe refuse to answer on the
grounds that we might incrimrnate
ourselves.”
Incidentally the even received
light sentences of an added 99
years a piece on the plea for mercy
from Shotgun McCook to Head
Warden Finch.
Assistant Ward* *
Godbey Gives
Chemists Lecture
Parole Chief Neas
Fresh Head Censor
The Honorable Parole and Re-
leases Chief Neas was selected by
The Warden to head the Censor
department. Neas is final proof-
reader. He has had so much sex-
perience at this position in form-
er papers that he can proofread
with his eyes closed as you can
see We wish to congratulate Nearf
on election to the second most im
portant position at Ratztrap Peni-
tentiary next to The Chief Warden
office
New proofreaders for the Mug
were appoited by the official cen-
soring department yesterday and
all forms had to be removed from
the press in order to make the my-
riad corrections and deletions. You
will note the result of their thor-
oughgoing perusal of these pages.
Guards Geppert, Fox, Tdylor,
l SHhrdi CMF rdl VBG etao etao ET
Ferguson and Howard were the
able censors who the Head Warden
appointed as an emergency meas-
ure. Now we can read without Hav-
l
SHhrdi CMF rd^VBG etao etao ET
walked about me every minute”, ing to stop to figure out the litfs-
“1 Henry VI” - tooks.
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The Megaphone (Georgetown, Tex.), Vol. 43, No. 21, Ed. 1 Sunday, April 1, 1951, newspaper, April 1, 1951; Georgetown, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth620909/m1/1/: accessed June 29, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Southwestern University.