Megaphone (Georgetown, Tex.), Vol. 91, No. [23], Ed. 1 Tuesday, April 1, 1997 Page: 3 of 4
This newspaper is part of the collection entitled: The Megaphone and was provided to The Portal to Texas History by the Southwestern University.
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Student becomes major league bullpen catcher
Jaundiced Bile
Megaphool Ret
Lyell Turns Pro
John Lyell, SU’s All-
American bullpen catcher,
recently left the Bucs baseball
team in order to make a run at
the Astros’catching job. Once
arriving in camp, the Astros
started platooning him behind
the plate. Unfortunately, Coach
Larry Dierker learned that Lyell
had no talent, and put Lyell in
his old position: bullpen
catcher.
Lyell, becoming
disgruntled, demanded a new
position. Dierker promptly sent
him to retrieving foul balls for
the rest of the month. “I love
foul balls!” said Dierker.
After a couple of weeks
as Shag Boy, Lyell was released,
and returned to the Bucs,
hopiing to regain his All-
American bullpen catcher form.
“The Astros don’t have any
bleepin’ good catchers, and
Dierker doesn’t know what is
going on with this bleepin' team.
He is sending this team right
down the s-er!” Lyell said
about Dierker and the Astros.
Trustees Bring Football,
Manning to Southwestern
The Board of Trustees,
determined to bring a successful
football program to SU, passed
the necessary motions to
recreate the Bucs football
program. More importantly,
they also manuevered to lure
Heisman hopeful quarterback
Peyton Manning to lead the Bucs
in their innagural season.
Chairman of the Board
of Trustees, millonaire car
dealer Red McCombs said he
saw no reason to create the
program if it wasn’t going to be
an instant success.
“We have no need for
another mediocre sports team
at SU,” McCombs said. “Peyton
guarantees that we will have
one of the most successful
programs in Division III. A
successful team should help
with our recruiting process and
increase our retention rates.
Of course, we had to make a few
concessions to get Peyton to
come, but in the end they’ll all
be worthwhile ”
Some , of these
concessions include President
Roy B. Shilling donating his
house for Manning’s campus
residence, and making the new
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First-year student, John Lyell, left will take a major pay raise when he joins the Houston Astros as their new bullpen
catcher replacing the 62 year-old Stretch Suba, (photo courtesty of John Lyell’s mother)
Brown-Cody dormitory the
team’s locker-room with the
Robertson Center as his own
personal gym. Also,
construction plans have been
changed making the area once
cleared for the Student Union
Building the sight for a new
$25 million 50,000 seat
stadium. Manning said that SU
made him an offer he couldn’t
refuse.
“This is a great deal,"
Manning said. “I can set every
Division III passing record in
one season, get a degree from a
good school, and i don’t nave
to worry about mean Division I
linebackers ending my NFL
dreams. Plus that new stadium
can seat all of Sun City!”
Rudeness workshop marks
egalitarian milestone
P. Jooky Lebenstein.
Megaphool Reporter
(mess and egalitari-
anism are principles that are
generally embraced on this
campus. This fairness has cre-
ated an atmosphere that, while
trying to accept all, has exclud-
ed many. As such, a new orga-
nization has been, formed on
campus to raise the awareness
of this neglected minority.
The Unruly People You
Obviously misunderstand and
Reject at Southwestern (UPY-
OURS) is an alliance of individ-
uals scorned by the establish-
ment for simply being them-
selves. These people who have
been accused of various levels
of rudeness have bonded to-
gether to be a support, group ,
for each other.
“We feel that there is a
large group of people on this
campus that is being kept froih
being their true selves by re-
strictive regulations regarding
behavior that is deemed unac-
ceptable or inappropriate by
the establishment, UPVOURS Is
here to make those people more
comfortable being themselves
in the face of such overwhelm-
ing opposition” said Kurdt But-
terfield, President of UPYOURS.
The first order of busi-
ness for UPYOURS is a week
devoted to making their inter-
ests heard.
routine at the Alma Thomas
Theater, followed by an infor-
mal support group where Leary
will talk with rude, offensive
and questioning students about
the various pressures placed
on them. On Saturday the week
-- - - - ... ‘Vcert and offend a-
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appreciate rudenc/,*, anol«I» gangsta*^ a°d
rude people* then 1 really' "
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"Our first rudeness
week is our attempt at height-
ening awareness of the needs
of rude people on campus and
in this society at large,” said
Butterfield.
The week will kick off
next Monday with a luncheon
seminar on how to offend peo-
ple in a meal situation. On
Wednesday night, comedian
Dennis Leary will do a comedy
rap
;• groups from
i* around the state.
Random acts of
violence and of-
fensiveness are en-
couraged all week
ong.
“We at UPY-
OURS realize that
being rude is especially hard in
the south, and at such a ‘friend-
ly’ campus, so we really feel
that our week will help rude
people get in touch with them-
selves, and learn to love them-
selves,” said Butterfield. .
“If we can just learn to.
appreciate rudeness and rude
people then I really think that
thU little planet of ours will be
a much better place to live.”
Careers Concoctions
South\\ i \U rii l nivcr.sitx Career Services
Bus trip to job fair
A bus trip will take interested students to the annual career fair
held at the University of Ladakh. The cost of the trip will be an
economic $420,000. Stafford Loans can apply only to food costs
for the trip. Sign-ups will be taken for the trip until November 18
at the career services office. There you will learn about new and
unique opportunities through inovative and exciting workshops
such as: How to Exploit Farmers, DDT: Its is our friend and Emily
Northrop's Guide to Fulfilling your Material Pleasures. These
informative workshops will ensure your success nowhere.
Sleep your way to the top workshop
Career Services, in an effort to better prepare the 2% of SU
students that give a damn about their future, will present a
workshop on how to reach success through sex. Learn the most
effective techniques of seduction around, and use your body to
your advantage. We all know the most effective employee is a
good lay. So make the most of what SU has to offer.
Career Services Internship
We are happy to announce that there never was an internship, but
rather this was an elaborate ruse to get two more people to do their
resumes. - \. '
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Megaphone (Georgetown, Tex.), Vol. 91, No. [23], Ed. 1 Tuesday, April 1, 1997, newspaper, April 1, 1997; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth634070/m1/3/?rotate=90: accessed July 16, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Southwestern University.