The Orange Daily Tribune. (Orange, Tex.), Vol. 1, No. 219, Ed. 1 Tuesday, November 25, 1902 Page: 3 of 4
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S '* Comallcxt.d Cue.
.; A country “squire" la often called,
npon to settle questions which tax
both his knowledge and bis Ingenuity.
One such matter was presented to
f Squire Prescott of Banbury.
“Square," said a solemn faced man,
stopping the lawyer one day as be was
leaving Sthe poet office, "there’s a point
I want yon should settle, and whatever
say I'll abide by it, whether you
It as I expect you will or not
. “Well, let's bear what It Is," aald
Squire Prescott good i
like this,” said the man.
ure vrescott good naturedly.
‘It's just like this,” said th
stepping closer and speaking In a tow-
Sd-I
'W tone. ' '“Hen Rogers wants to trade
tartns with me, but we can’t quit*
agree on .terms Hie cow pasture la
better than nbiW, but I’ve got twice as
many.blueberry busbee as he has; his
■Corn Is all started, and mine Isn’t, but
I’ve got screens to five windows and
Are doors; there’s less stones In his
meadow land than there Is Id mine, but
there’s more bog.
“Now, I won’t tell you which Is which,
but one of Us thinks Hen’s collie dog
had ought to be throwed Into the bar-
ter, and the other one thinks that my
heifer would just about even up. Now,
wbat should you say was the fair
thing!”—Youth’s Companion.
When Tlssot Was Satisfied.
An Interesting story Is told of
Jacques Tlssot, the great French paint-
er. While In England be painted a
beautiful religious picture and, meet-
ing a countrywoman, asked her opin-
ion of his work. "It’s a chef d’oeuvre,”
rite replied, giving a remarkably Just
and detailed appreciation of the va-
rious merits of the painting.
“Are you satisfied!” asked a friend.
Tlssot answered In the negative. lie
; entirely repaint: d his picture, working
night and day.
When finished, be sent again for his
fair critic, who pronounced It admira-
ble and remained silently admiring It
With smiling criticism.
“‘Are you satisfied?” asked the friend
‘■gain when the lady had departed.
iflPfig
WRITING THE SERMON.
Roast PI* a la Lamb fa cblna.
A correspondent of the North China I
Herald writes this dissertation upon Prite? is tbs Minister’s Da*
roast pig: “HOW little Western writers Performing, This Task.
understand the Chinese! Who has Probably few of the good people who
not read and rejoiced over Lamb’s listen with rapt attention to the ser-
Dissertatlon Upon Roast PlgT* It Is mon which Is preached to them each
not everybody who has the chance Sunday, says the Denver Post, know
of seeing Lamb’s fascinating story that for nearly 300 years Friday has
worked out lu real life. In the begin- been the time honored day for the pan-
ning of the present Chinese year I | tor to go Into his study, write the ser-
=============
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■ - ■ .....----- —. - ,,~j|
A RANGE FINDER ^
passed through a busy market village
where the people kept many pigs. In
the middle of the night a fire broke
out In the market village and de-
stroyed the whole place. No lives had |
mon which is to furnish "food for
thought” to the congregation on the
following Sunday. In speaking of this
custom a clergyman says:
When Christianity was first promul-
boen lost, but most of the pigs had gated, all preuebing was done extern-
W
'"No,” repljed the artist, and he set to
work for the third time.
When 'the Parisieuue saw the new
painting, she gazed at It for some mo-
ments with pvldent emotion ai d then
-Without a word sink softly to her kapo jo company!”
knees and began to pray.
"Are you satisfied now?" whispered
the friend, and Tlssot said "Yea”
been rousted, especinlly those too fat
to run quickly. Konst pigs! Burning
houses! Lamb's story !b real life!
Quite naturally 1 remarked that some
foil; must have had a splendid meal of
roast pork in those days.' To my sur-
prise the unlives asked with disgust:
A splendid meal! Who would eat
that stinking, smoky stuff?’ The
pulate of the Chinaman absolutely re-
jects smoky roast pork! All that mag-
nificent epicurean description culmi-
nating In the one word ‘crackling’—a
delusion, a yarn, a lie! I gloated over
that yarn when a boy and grew ex-
cited aB the story went from one page
to another. Now to find the whole
thing go up in smoke!”
Solvln* It.
Patrick, a thrifty tradesman In the
neighborhood of the Dublin docks, was,
the story goes, a man who never spent
a penny more than he needed to spend,
but he was nevertheless as good a man
at the making of an Irish bull as any
who lived between Bantry and Bally-
castle.
Having one day occasion to send a
letter t > a place some distance, Patrick
called n messenger and asked him bis
price for ;:oing such a distanc.
“It ’111 be a shillin’,” said the man.
“Twice too much!” said Patrick. "Let
it be sixpence.”
“Nlvver,” answered the messenger.
poraueously. Such a thing as prepar-
ing a sermon was unknown. Many
gifted men expressed their views on
various subjects, then added a few
words of good advice to their listeners.
This practice Is still continued In the
Komttn Catholic church of the present
day, triffi t‘ think that a very limited
number of the priests ever write a ser-
mon. Not all ministers, however, ad-
here to this rule by any means. When
Henry Ward Beecher was asked on
what day he prepared his sermon, he
replied, ’Ou Sunday morning, of
course.’
'Well, Mr Beecher, don't you think
that is a rather dilatory habit for you
to get Inter asked another.
“ ‘Oh, no, not at all,’ replied Mr.
Beeclier in his quick way. ‘You see, I
look nt a sermon like some do on a pan-
cake. They can be served hot or cold,
and I like mine hot; that’s all.”’
Is part ot the equipment of every war
vessel. But everyone can find a range
for winter by coming here. We have
about 400 ranges aud stoves ol all sires
and various styles in stock and all are
well made, strong and economical users
of fuel. The Bridge Beach is the best
cooker on thg^narket. The line of heat-
ers is very handsome,
SABINE SUPPLY CO.
HI* Friend Geoffrey.
The following story, told by the
Washington Post, lends us to wonder
which to condemn first, the boaster or
his critics. It concerns a certain man
who has a large collection of auto-
graphs.
Indeed, the euvy and sometlmes’the
skepticism of bis friends have been ex-
cited by the number of successful au-
thors who have set down furuiliar and
_______^___ flattering inscriptions in his books.
The way is that lonely that I’d nlvver I 801116 carpers have even gone so far
go It under a shillin’.” as to bint darkly at a similarity of
Lonely, Is It?” said Patrick, scratch- bandwriting throughout the collection,
lug his head. “Faith, an’ ye’re right. He recently purchased a rare edition
Now, man, I’ll tell ye what we’ll do; °* Chaucer, and one evening when a
make it sixpence, an’ I’ll go wld ye to Party Wils gathered at the house the
Life at 8t’hevenin*ea.
A recent writer on Holland’s famous
watering place says: “At Schevenlng-
en, if you wish to keep away from the
grand suburb and eat among the old
fashioned folk of the fishing village, the
people of that Interesting ’dorp’ will
give you a delicious breakfast, the
staple of which will be sweet rye bread,
fresh butter of the finest quality and
Incomparable herring. If you want a
real Dutch lunch, It will consist of rye
bread and cheese, with a glass of rich
milk. The milk has some curious aud
picturesque associations. In the early
morning—again If you keep to the old
quarters—you will see the dogs, which
are universal beasts of burden lu the
Netherlands, dragging the little milk
carta The barrels are brightly painted
and are mounted with shining brass,
And, while the milk carts are going
round, the maids—generally plump and
swaddled in manifold skirts which
give them the aspect of abnormal lati-
tude—are bustling about with the pall
and mop and that ‘glazen spult’ which
is one of the most cherished of Dutch
domestic institutions. It is a great
brass squirt with which windows and
shutters are energetically sluiced.”
D. C. FOREMAN
BUTCHER
AND CATTLL DEALER
i
I
IP
The First Skaters.
It Is very doubtful which race first
skated, for traces have been found
among prehistoric remains all over
northern Europe indicating that the
art was practiced by primitive peoples.
The Eskimo of the farthest north are
also found to be lb possession of run-
ners carved from whalebone.
Skating is mentioned by a Danish
historian about 1134, and Fltzstephen
In his “History of London” says that
in the twelfth century young men
fastened the leg bones of animals un-
der their feet by means of thongs in
order to slide along the ice. This
statement is confirmed by the pair of
bone skates of the period now In the
British museum. It is likely, however,
that these early Loudoners got the
idea from Holland, probably via Lin-
colnshire, where skates have been
used on the frozen fens from very re-
mote times.
1 .
:s.
Paul the Tyrant.
Paul I. of Russia was very deaf and
also very tyrannical. One day an
aid-de-camp, Intending to please him,
approached and cried In Ills ear, “I
am glad to ijee, your majesty, that
your hearing is much Improved!”
"What Is that you say?" growled the
czar.
Raising his voice, the aid-de-camp
said, “I am glad that your majesty’s
hearing Is so much improved!”
“Ah, that’s It, eh?” chuckled the
czar, and then added, “Say it once
more.”
The aid-de-camp repeated the words,
whereupon Paul I. thundered, “So you
dare to make fun of me, do you? Just
wait awhile.’’
Next day the aid-de-camp was on
his way to the mines of Siberia.
Curran Met HU Match.
Curran, the famous Irish advocate,
was a master of repartee, but he did
not always score, though he enjoyed
an encounter none the less If he was
fairly beaten. One day, In a gay mood,
be stopped and chatted with a certain
Father O’Leary. “Ah, father,” said
the advocate, waiting for an opening,
“how I wish when I die that you had
the key to heaven!”
“Why?” said the priest, for he guess-
ed a trap was laid. , . _
“Because you could let me In.” ^tor*- Who,n he made hi« ™«»t
-Ah-sold Father O'Le.r,.»,t wohld J*
precious book wns passed from hand
to hand. The owner lost sight of it,
but the next morning he found It lying
I on his library table.
On the fly leaf was Inscribed:
“To Jack —, from bis old friend and
| schoolmate, Geof. Chaucer.”
Wit of Horne Tookc.
It is said that Horne Tooke, who ex-
celled In that duellike controversy ex-
hibited by two disputants when pitted
against each other with only the
breadth of a mahogany board between
them, was exceedingly quick and sharp
be better for you If I had the key of
the other place, for then I could let
you out.”
The Rose.
Old as the history of the world itself
Is that of the queen of flowers. The
ancient Greeks and Romans reveled in
roses. They were used lavishly at their
feasts. In the time of the republic the
people had their cups of falernlan wine
swimming with blooms, and the Spar-
tan soldiers, after the battle of Clrrha,
refused to drink any wine that was not
perfumed with roses, while at the re-
gatta of Bake the whole surface of the
Lucrlne lake wns strewn with flowera
It Mnddled Him.
“It gets me,” confided the Intoxicated
individual who was gazing Into the
florist’s window—“it gets me! I d’know
wezzer a chr’chr’chr’zannemum looks
like a Skye terrier or wezzer a Skye
terrier looks like a chr-chr-lzziannlum.”
But the policeman got him Just then,
and the problem ceased to get him for
the time being.—Baltimore American.
Phonetic Spelling.
The teacher of a country school was
“hearing” her spelling class recite.
She had just “given out” the word
“Aaron,” which, according to her In-
struction, had been spelled in this
fashion: “Big A, little a, r-o-n.”
The next Word was “gallery.” The
pupil said:
"G-a-1, gal—g-a-1, gal,” two or three
times and halted. Then, after hard
I: - thought, he added:
“Big gal, little gal, e-r-y, gallery.”—
New York Times.
& —
Pansies.
“As far pansies, every one you pick
•hall have a different character. Some
are perverse, like bashful babies, aud
will not look you in the face. Some
are confiding, and some are even bold.
Go and study them If you are an un-
believer, „and you shall find that many
^Jhings that we call human traits be
long lui almost equal proportions to
plants tffid animals.”
Expensive Headgear.
Father (examining his sou’s expense
account at college)—Young man, what
do you mean by charging up half a
dozen bottles of whisky to wearing ap-
parel during last term?
Son-Oh, that’s aU right; I used that
■tuff for nightcaps.—Town and Coun-
try.
H --* ,
Sought Dnricnln In War.
Edward III. had just announced his
Intention of beginning the Hundred
Years’ war.
“But,” sobbed Queen Philippa, “can’t
you reduce It to ninety-eight?”
Maddened, however, by this request
for a bargain, he rushed out at once
and pawned their crowns to pay the
troops.—New' York Tribune.
Difference of Opinion.
“How did that poem of yours turn
out?” •
“Oh,” answered the author, “there
was the difference of opinion that
usually attends the production of a
masterpiece. The postmaster Insisted
that It was first class matter and tha
editor Insisted that it was not”—
Washington Star.
Scorched.
Cannibal Chief—What was that I
had for dinner?
Cannibal Cook—He was a bicycle
rider, your excellency.
Cannibal Chief—I thought I detected
a burned tnste.
Cannibal Cook—Yes, your excellen-
cy. He was scorching when we caught
him.
Rnlslnff HU Balarjr.
“You told me last week that you
would try to raise my salary,” said
Briggs.
“Oh, yes,” replied- bis employer. [
“Well, I did. I raised it after some
trouble. Believe me, I had ■ very
bard time raising It this week.”
countenance and without seeming ef-
fort or emotion. Replying to a man
who contended that only landowners
should be allowed to Vote at elections,
he said, “Pray tell me how many acres
does It take to make a wiseacre?”
When asked by George III. whether he
ever played cards, he replied, “I can-
not, your majesty, tell a king from a
knave.” What can be more uniquely
comic than his suying to biB brother:
“You and I, my dear brother, have in-
verted the laws of nature. You have
risen in the world by your gravity, and
I have fallen by my levity?”—Saturday
Evening Post.
The World's Largest Grab.
How would you like to Lave a crab
like this squeezing your toe when you
go bathing? The gigantic Japanese
crab, measuring twelve feet, is proba-
bly the largest crustacean In the world.
The specimen is a type of the spider
crab, which Inhabits the waters of the
group of islands formlug the empire
of Japan. The body portion is the size
of a half bushel measure, while its
two great arms or “feelers” could eas-
ily encircle the figure of a man. Its
eight arms or legs resemble huge
bamboo poles and are extremely elas-
tic, and If strung Into one Hue they
would reach to the top of a four story
apartment building. One of the ex-
traordinary peculiarities of this crab
Is the faculty of assuming a disguise
by affixing pieces of seaweed and
sponges to the body.
Norway Hotel System.
There is a capital hotel system In
vogue In certain parts of Norway. In
villages where no hotel exists one of
the more prominent Inhabitants is sub-
sidized by the Norwegian government
and in return Is bound to’provide ac-
commodation for not less than four
travelers. He may take In four if he
chooses, but four is the minimum. The
accommodation and food supplied are
excellent, and the charges are very
moderate.
Th« Drop Curtain.
A youngster had been to the theater,
and npon his return his uncle asked
him how he liked the piny.
“Ob,” he replied, “the play wns all
right, but I didn’t see nearly all of It.”
“Why, how did that happen?” asked
bis uncle.
“Because," answered the youngster,
“the roller must have been broke, for
the window blind fell down two or
three times!”—Chums.
The Conductor’* Baton.
According to the Investigations of a
Frenchman the credit of Inventing the
conductor’s baton belongs to Lully, the
composer, who eventually had cause to
regret his invention. Before he adopted
the baton conductors were in tho habit
of pounding on the floor with their
feet or clapping their hands to mark
the time. Lully found It wearisome to
keep his foot constantly In motion and
so usfld a stick to strike the floor and
beat time. He used a pole six feet
long. One day he brought down the
pole with such force that it struck his
foot and made a deep wound. He paid
no attention to the matter. The wound
grew worse aud ultimately caused bis
death.
After his time conductors tried more
and more to improve the baton, and it
was ultimately brought to Its present
form. *
The Tricky Fox.
A gentleman while hunting near a
river one winter day suw a fox run
out on the Ice and make at fullsspeed
for an opening in the ice where the
rushing water of the river could be
pluiuly seen from the bank, says the
Scotsman. At tho edge he stopped,
turned, followed his tracks back to the
bunk and then ran some distance down
the stream and sat there. Soon a dog
came crashing out of the woods, bay-
ing Unely, hot on the fox’s trail. Now,
dogs when on a chase of this kind
trust almost entirely to their noses.
This one wus no exception. He ran
along the Ice, head down, and when
he reached the hole he could not stop,
but plunged Into the water and disap-
peared forever. Then the fox trotted
away with every sign of satisfaction.
Stupid Hubtid •( a Noted Bluffer.
Catalani’B husband, a handsome
Frenchman, was even more unintellec-
tual than bis wife—be was stupid.
Once, having found the pitch of the
piano too high, she said after the re-
hearsal to her husband: “The piano is
too high. Will you see that It Is made
lower before the concert?”
When the evening came, Catalanl
was annoyed to find that the piano bad
not been altered. Her husband sent for
the carpenter, who declared that be
bad sawed off two inches from each
leg, as be bad been ordered to do.
"Surely it can’t be too high now, my
dear!” said the stupid husband sooth-
ingly. __
Tli* Causa of Bis Grief.
The danger of explaining all one's
troubles Is Illustrated by an incident
from Chums. A kind hearted old gen-
tleman had found a small boy crying
and stopped to see wbat was the mat-
ter.
"Why are you crying, my little lad!"
he asked. "
"Boohoo!” said the boy. "Billy Wells
hit me, an’ father hit me because I let
Billy bit me, au* Billy Wells hit me
again because I told father, an’ now
father ’ll bit me again because Billy
Wells hit me the second time.”
CHOICE STEAKS cut tp order
and delivered to any part* of
dty free. : -. :: :: :;
BOTH PHONES 44
STORE, Polk Street below the
I’mpbyterian Church. ::
ALL KINDS OF FRESH MEATS
constantly on hand. :: t -
ORDER YOUR MEAT and let -i
ns keep it in our refrigerator.
a*
m
Try Bunn’s Bread.
* JUST OPENED
GATE CITY BAR
..........
CHRIS BENSON, Proprietor.
Full Line of
LINE WINES, LIQ-
UORS AND CIGARS.
High Grade Case and
Bottled Goods a spe-
cialty.
Your Patronage Solicited.
Lausen Building, Fifth St.
H. W. Bland
Butcher 61
Cattle Dealer
Choice Kansas City Bec/
Meats delivered promptly
to any part of the city
Bore—I’m not feeling at all well
—-
hope It’s not a lingering
- City Independent
It if remarkable bow virtuous and
generously disposed every one Is at
■ play. We uniformly applaud what
la right and condemn what is wrong
when it costs us nothing but the send-
__ i||
way to soften hard water
A F»lr If... .-haax*.
Editor—See here, Sir. Dolan. You
delivered me a load of hay for the six
years’ subscription you owed for my
paper.
Mr, Dolan—Oi did-
Editor—Well, my horse won’t eat
that hay, b’ gosh!
Mr. Dolan—Well, my goat won’t eat
your paper, be gobs!—Puck.
A Sailors’ Fish Tost.
Sailors have a very simple and what
Is said to be a very effective way of
determining the edible or nonedible
qualities of any new varieties of fish
they may happen to run aqroes. In the
water in which the fish Is boiled Is
placed a bright silver coin. If the coin
retains Its natural color during the boil-
ing process, the fish is good to eat, but
If It tarns dark the food Is rejected.
t , ' ’’V;- M; " j.,,' i
Extra UalM.
Patron—When was this
chicken
///A
We are ready to show you a very
pleasing line' of seasonable fabrics
and measure you for your Fall and
Winter Suit. There is Individuality
and style about our garments not to
be found ID the ready-to-wear gar-
meats. No two men are built alike
and clothing built on the cut and
dried plan cannot fit you. A pur
chase from us means satisfaction In
fit, style and finish.
TURNER, THE TAILOR.
Market 4th St.
Phone 66
Bettis Insurance
All Kinds.
Phone 7 Link Building
Oysters and Fish
1 have opefled a Fish, Game and Oy»*
ter Market on Fourth Street, and
will be prepared to supply the
people of Orange with the
famoua
BAYOU
The average
to meet the *
of sending
ge man is always anxious killed?
: ..
dd ;
:elve prompt at-
tention. mit u
Archie McDon
and All Kinds of
All orders will M
Orange
Iron Works
C. W. MeTorlsnt, Prop,
....... wtw =========•
Jill hinds of
machine Work
Manufactured and* repaired
in first class style. 'Beet ma-
chinery, beet material and
best workmen.
Jill kinds of
tin and
Sheet Iron Work
m
BLAZING JEWELS.
There’s a particularly Interesting
display of v'.lamonds on exhibition
here now. They have been gathered
Iron) various sources, and selected
lavaum of their beauty and D-.lltan-
ey. The stones are set In various
handsome pieces of
JEWELRY,
all of which are of chaste design and
fine workmanship. That the. prices
and goods are attractive can be
seen from the displays.
W. P. MACFARLAND,
Jeweler, Orange, Texas.
A LightsomelBurdcn.
Bread ns we make it is not
. load for servant or master
-•or the umter’s stomach-
tor no dyspepsia lurks there-
in Made from the best flour
luircliaeable; made by bakers
who know what they are do-
ing, Bunn's Bread Is a syno-
nym of purity and whole-
somenoss.
a
■!
I
m
m
vl
she*’?™
JsLr
made and repaired,
stacks, blowers,
work, work for
steamboat*. Vail
gutters for bui
work for brick
specialty.
estimates
■■ f*
£
»H!
w
■
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The Orange Daily Tribune. (Orange, Tex.), Vol. 1, No. 219, Ed. 1 Tuesday, November 25, 1902, newspaper, November 25, 1902; Orange, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth643645/m1/3/: accessed July 9, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Lamar State College – Orange.