Brownwood Bulletin (Brownwood, Tex.), Vol. 113, No. 61, Ed. 1 Tuesday, December 25, 2012 Page: 3 of 8
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Tuesday, December 25, 2012 Brownwood Bulletin 3
Readers find creative ways to combat cemetery thieves
DEAR ABBY: May I comment on the letter
from “Itching to Get Even in Cincinnati”
(Oct. 1), the woman who was upset that the
handmade wreaths she had placed on her
family graves had been stolen?
I volunteer at a historical cemetery. Many
cemeteries have rules about the type and
size of grave decorations that are allowed
on the grounds, which is sometimes none
at all. In fact, if decorations ARE allowed,
unless they can be firmly attached to the
ground, real flowers are usually preferred
because they biodegrade and do not create
a nightmare for groundskeepers when the
plastic eventually weakens.
While it’s touching that “Itching” and her
sister continue to make thoughtful and
beautiful arrangements for their deceased
loved ones, they should consider speaking
with the cemetery office or groundskeeper
about any regulations they might have in
order to avoid this kind of upset again. —
MAUREEN IN BROOKLYN, N.Y.
DEAR MAUREEN: For the
most part, readers agree
that the policies of a cem-
etery should be checked
out before placing wreaths
or flowers on graves. How-
ever, other readers offered
some interesting solutions
to the problem:
DEAR ABBY: When Dad
died, my mom and I re-
turned to his grave the next
day. All the flowers were
missing, but the plastic they
were attached to was still
there. When we inquired
about it we were told that deer come down
at night and eat the flowers. My dad, a
nature lover, would have been pleased that
they provided a meal for the deer. — STILL
MISSING HIM
DEAR ABBY: The dead are no longer of
this world. When people visit their graves,
they should leave good thoughts, not mate-
rial items that end up as trash or stolen—
PAMELA IN VICTORVILLE, CALIF.
DEAR ABBY: After my mother died, I
bought a concrete garden angel statue and
put it by her headstone. Like “Itching,” I too
was bitter after it was stolen.
When I told my husband, he told me,
“Honey, your mother WAS an angel. She
didn’t need one. Someone else must have
needed one.” After he said it, it put the inci-
dent into a different perspective — ANGEL’S
DAUGHTER IN MISSOURI
DEAR ABBY: Years ago, the flags my moth-
er and I had placed on Memorial Day were
stolen. After that we would write, “Stolen
from the grave of...” on the sticks of the
flags we left for my father’s and stepfather’s
graves. It worked! — DOT IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR ABBY: My sister made a Christmas
tree for our mother’s grave and decorated it
with functional lights. When I asked her why
she went to the extra expense, she replied
that she knew it would likely be stolen. She
said she wanted the thief to have a tree with
working lights, so the person would have
a brighter Christmas. — GERRY IN HUNTS-
VILLE, TEXAS
DEAR ABBY: I had the same problem until
I started attaching small signs to my floral
wreaths that read, “Thou Shalt Not Steal.” I
make the signs business card-sized, cover
them with clear tape, attach them to a bever-
age straw and insert them in the flowers
or attach them to the wreaths. So far it has
worked. And if it doesn’t, at least it may
make the thief think twice. — MARIE IN
PENNSYLVANIA
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van
Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and
was founded by her mother; Pauline Phil-
lips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.
com orP.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA
90069.
DEAR ABBY
Abigail Van
Buren
FAMILY
CONTINUED FROM 1
working during the Christ-
mas holidays. She and the
other staff were given the
option of taking time off at
Thanksgiving, Christmas or
New Year’s, and she chose
Thanksgiving as she has
done in past years. Every
Thanksgiving, she cooks for
her three grown kids, ages
27, 29 and 30.
The facility already held
its Christmas party on Dec.
20. Vasquez says that most
facilities hold their holiday
parties earlier than the holi-
day itself.
“You’re here when the
families are here to visit,”
Vasquez said.
Despite gloomy anec-
dotes about the elderly left
alone and lonely in nursing
homes, staff say that quite
the opposite happens in
their facilities.
“Somebody comes for
everyone,” Vasquez said.
Some residents are picked
up by family for a few hours
and then brought back to
the facility. There are those,
however, who stay within
the facility for the same
reason that they are in it —
poor health.
“For some of them, it’s too
much to be outside. It also
depends on the weather,”
Vasquez explained.
There are also families
who come in from out of
town and visit their grand-
parents in large groups.
Howard and Dorothy
Becktold’s five children
and several grandchildren
shared sandwich makings
from 11:30 a.m. until 1:30
p.m. last Saturday at the
sunroom of Oak Ridge
Manor. Three of the Beck-
told children live in Brown
County, while one daugh-
ter lives in Tennessee and
another lives in Arlington,
TX. The Becktolds started
staying at Oak Ridge in
March for Dorothy’s reha-
bilitation and Howard is
there for moral support. On
Christmas day itself, family
members will just come and
go to celebrate with them.
Oak Ridge also set up a
‘mini shopping area’ where
the residents were wheeled
in and were able to choose
two things for themselves
or to give as a gift to fam-
ily. There were blankets,
scarves, puzzles, photo
frames, socks and other
personal items that they can
use.
Lona Howard, 75, a widow
who arrived at the facility
on Nov. 13 for therapy after
she “shattered” her hips,
chose peppermints “that
melt in your mouth” and
clip-on earrings “because
they’re very hard to find.”
Her daughter and son-in-law
came down from Arling-
ton on Saturday and will
celebrate Christmas with her
and the rest of the family.
Senior Care of Brownwood
held their Christmas party
for residents last Tuesday,
Dec. 18. All families of
residents were invited to
celebrate with them at the
dining hall. Another party
for the staff was held last
Thursday, Dec. 20.
Brandi Watson, a med aide
who works on weekends at
Senior Care, “cannot think of
anyone” who will celebrate
the holidays alone. There are
65 residents in the facility.
The families of residents
who visit them can stay the
night at the facility, which
Watson finds “very surpris-
ing” and convenient for the
residents and their families.
Several residents at Senior
Care also sign out for a few
hours or days to go with
their families and spend the
holidays at home, accord-
ing to Becky Smith, social
worker at Senior Care.
Administrative staff, like
Smith, will be having the
holidays off, while “floor
staff,” like nurses and aides,
“will be working as if it’s
any other day,” according to
In memory of my
daughter Virginia
who came into my
life which was the
happiest day of my
life. But it didn’t last
long The Lord called
you home 3 years ago
on Christmas day
I will always love you
and miss you with
all my heart.
Love Mom and the rest
of the family f
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Smith.
She points out, however,
that floor staff receive holi-
day pay.
Residents at the facility
whose families cannot af-
ford to buy them gifts this
Christmas and those who
do not have families are set
to receive gift bags donated
by a staff member. Each bag
contains a throw, gripper
socks and candy.
The facility has around
seven large Christmas trees
and a special tree with hand-
made ornaments created
by the residents, headed
by Lois Scott, 91, a retired
teacher who used to work
for the state school. Scott’s
daughter is coming down
from Austin to spend the
25th with her.
Songbird Lodge handles
both rehabilitation and
hospice care. Kids have gone
caroling at the facility and
schools and members of
the community made gifts
for the residents that they
brought over. The facility
also held a Christmas party
in their dining hall for the
residents and staff.
Songbird Lodge handles
many cases of dementia and
Alzheimer’s disease.
Charge nurses, who are
each assigned a hall, say
that some “confused”
residents do not recall their
family members and that
Christmas will “function like
any other day.”
Like in other nursing
homes, families come in
large groups from out of
town to visit their folks dur-
ing the holidays.
Samantha Beard, who
started working as an LVN
at Songbird Lodge only a
few weeks ago, will be work-
ing during all the holidays.
She works from 2 to 10 p.m.
on both Christmas Eve and
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Beard is young, married
and has two kids, ages three
and four.
“I am not too happy (to
work on Christmas), but it’s
a blessing to have a job and
to get on your feet,” Beard
said.
She also says that all the
gifts are already underneath
the Christmas tree, but that
Santa will bring in some
more on Christmas Eve.
“I like it here (at Songbird
Lodge) because it’s like a
big family. The big bosses,
the nurses and the aides get
together and come up with
presents for the residents,”
Beard said.
Mary Lucier, another
charge nurse, gets off
Christmas this year, but
recalls how she and her fam-
ily had to move Christmas
a few days before the actual
holiday to coincide with her
schedule at the facility.
On her first day off, Lucier
and her family put up their
Christmas tree. The next
morning, “Santa came in
early, (since) he makes spe-
cial calls,” Lucier said.
Her family did not seem
to mind.
“Our families understand
that people don’t get well
because it’s the holidays,”
Lucier said.
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Stuckly, Derrick. Brownwood Bulletin (Brownwood, Tex.), Vol. 113, No. 61, Ed. 1 Tuesday, December 25, 2012, newspaper, December 25, 2012; Brownwood, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth740158/m1/3/: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Brownwood Public Library.